It happened.
I’m done nursing.
And I feel like rejoicing and crying all at the same time.
I don’t get it! Before I even gave birth to Lucy, I had a goal for myself: I was going to nurse for 6 months. That goal really came out of nowhere; I guess it was a combination of talking to my friends, reading blogs, and just trying to understand how long I wanted to be attached at the hip (or attached at the BOOB, technically!) to my new baby. The 6 months came and went, and as I approached month 7, I got lazy. I started skipping my “pumping sessions” here and there. Lucy got her first two teeth. Ouch. I stopped nursing and moved only to pumping. And then I took a few mini vacations and got laryngitis … Which meant I started making excuses to NOT pump.
Before I knew it, I had no milk in a matter of a days … and my boobs were FLAT. Like, whoa. Pancakes.
Anyway, I hate the feeling that I STILL have two weeks later: I feel like screaming “FREEEEDOM!” from the top of my lungs, but I also feel like a complete failure. My friend Jordin breastfed her baby until he was 18 months old. Lindsey is going strong, and her little girl is nearing her first birthday. Julie’s baby girl is only 2 months old, but she’s adamant that she is not doing any formula until Baby Ava is at least a year old.
And then there’s me. The lifelong overachiever, high-school valedictorian, “Miss Perfect”, definition of Type A … and breastfeeding Q-U-I-T-T-E-R.
Do any other moms feel this way? MY mom (who did not breastfeed me, nor either of my 2 sisters for the record) told me I should be proud. I know I should. I gave Lucy the BEST nutrition possible for 7 months. I was not afraid to whip out my boob in the Nordstrom Ladies Lounge. I proudly exclaimed, “I need to go pump!” every 3 hours at work. And I got a great feeling of satisfaction when I looked at all of the milk I had stored in my freezer.
Would love for you to share your thoughts!
P.S. I loved taking “pumping selfies.” Can you tell? I pumped in so many different places … including a JANITOR’S CLOSET at a nightclub during an appearance for my job!
7 months is really awesome!! I am a labor and delivery/ postpartum nurse and I assist new moms with breastfeeding all the time. Some women don’t even make it 3 days, but that doesn’t even matter, as long as you feed your baby. I would consider 7 months very successful. Stop listening to other people and comparing yourself. I nursed my first baby just over 7 months and I did the same thing. I was working full time and so tired of pumping. Second 2 babies I nursed longer but, I was working less and pumping less. I hate pumping!! Love nursing!! Be proud you made a long time with your busy life.
Hello Shannon, you little cutie! Even though my youngest baby is 18, I still clearly remember feeling what you are. The jump up and down, “i’m Finally Free” dance, and the sobbing uncontrollably curled up in a fetal position, “nobody needs me anymore” pity party. What I will tell you is that dear Lucy got exactly what she needed, as did you! It was PERFECT timing for you both, of this you can be certain. You know what they say, “we make plans, and GD laughs.” I love that you had a plan for how long you were going to nurse, rather more of listening to your intuition as to when that time would actually be. Things happen when they are supposed to, regardless of what we decide. Isn’t that just the truth?? I wasn’t ready to stop the first time, but my baby was. The second time, I was ready, and my baby wasn’t (He nursed for over a year, not to mention any names, Bennyboo), and the third one grew teeth at an early age. Yeah, he thought it was funny to bite me’ we completely disagreed on that.
So, yeah, don’t worry about the boobs, that’s why they made implants. Because after the next one, they may get even flatter, imagine that. Breasts have a purpose, and when that is served for the final time, give them another purpose.
Love you,
Benny’s Mom
Hats off to you! You did your very best and don’t look back. Only you know what’s best for you and your child. Now go do whatever it is us mom’s do when we get our bodies back….I recommend wine! 😉