Where has the time gone?
We only just learned we were pregnant. Right? We knew we wanted one more and were so thankful when that moment came. It took a few months, but we were lucky. Two lines. Two kids. And now that baby is 5.
Five.
The last five years have taken me to a new level of motherhood. A level of love that I would have never understood before having children – a totally unique experience, a special bond between mother and child.
My youngest. My last baby. My favorite second born.
5 words that describe the relationship of my life with my 5 year old:
- Energizing
- Exhausting
- Exhilarating
- Explorative
- Explosive
(ha! I did not mean to make a list of words that all start with E.)
Energizing because he has this smile that gets you ‘right there’ – you know the one. The smile with a hint of a dimple, a hint of a desire for more, and a bit of “stinkerness”. He’s got that look, that questioning glance, that curiosity that helps keep me going, makes me smile. His smile has that power to keep me going.
Exhausting because he’s a 5 year old boy! He also has an amazing host of health issues that keep me constantly guessing. I am thankful his conditions are not worse, nor really life threatening, yet totally life altering. He has EE (more E’s!), a unique feeding disorder. Each food trial. Each scope. Each doctor visit. Each weight in. Each milestone. Each pair of blessed pants that constantly fall down. Each moment of klutziness that makes me catch my breath and wonder if we are heading back to the ER. This kid got a concussion from playing Legos. Yes, Legos! He’s exhausting. Never boring.
Exhilarating. 
Leading up to his fifth birthday, he mastered the art of riding a two wheeler. FAST. Downhill and on a mission. He loves to GO. I love to go. It works out well…chasing him on his bike helps me be a faster runner. It really is exhilarating. Seeing him work hard to achieve a goal (current: reading) is awesome.
Explorative. He questions SO many things, as he should. He ponders situations. He wonders deep. He loves nature, he loves art, he has a passion to reflect. He makes me see things through a new set of lenses. Even when I am exhausted, his request for a book to explore his language ability is special. He is explorative when it comes to trying new food during food trials – he questions hard before taking a bite, but he is exploring what is possible. I respect that. I fear that. 
He is EXPLOSIVE – in many ways, in the obvious boy way, in the bathroom as he drops a number 2. Oye. (mom of boys here). But his passions – he REALLY gets into his work. His ability to see his work through, his explosive energy when it comes to ‘running really fast’ and growing as much as possible. He really has a heart full of explosive love, and he’s not afraid to share it.
My sweet little one, as I look back over the last 5 years I am honored to be your mom. Honored to be the one who was gifted your life to hold close in my heart. I am honored to have the moment to reflect and write (and thankful for that cup of coffee I had with dinner to help me stay awake to get ready for the celebration of you) about our relationship, about my relationship with you.
My son, my baby. My five year old.
Happy Birthday, Buddy. I thank you for you. For us.
xo: mom
