There’s nothing more infuriating as a mother than to watch other moms treat their children differently. Sure you may have different relationships with each child, for example, you would probably say that I am “closer” to my mom than my brother is. Maybe one child is more “needy,” while the other is independent; But at no point in life should one child be treated better than another or shown more love. All kids are created equal.
It wasn’t until I got married that I noticed a difference in the way my mother-in-law treated my husband vs. the way she treats her other children. My husband, an independent extrovert, was always expected to do well in school, pay for his expenses (outside of living in college), and hold a job that would help boost his resume. His siblings, on the other hand; Not so much. The parents paid for school, living and “miscellaneous” expenses for the others, while they skated from job to job. To this day, his parents still pay for credit cards and their car payments {mind you the siblings are well into their thirties}. Regardless of age, all kids are created equal.
Financial support is just the beginning. When one sibling doesn’t like what the other says, whether it’s my husband or another, they run to the parents to tattle. It’s gotten to the point where we feel as though we’re constantly walking on eggshells around them not knowing how someone will take a comment or a joke. What happened to letting siblings settle their differences between themselves? And when did parents decide to take sides? The parents need to be parents here and tell the {grown} children to stop putting them in the middle and start handling things/differences like adults. Anyway, aren’t parents supposed to be Switzerland when it comes to sibling differences?
The one that takes the cake though, is the label of “the favorite child.” It’s easy: if you have one boy and one girl, the boy is your favorite son and the girl is your favorite daughter. Outside of that, you shouldn’t have a favorite… or at least you shouldn’t vocalize it. The parents need to stop smiling when “the chosen one” asks, “who’s your favorite kid?” and the attention-seeking “favorite” needs to stop asking altogether. For once, you all need to put other people’s feelings to the forefront and remember you’re a family.
My husband’s probably reading this right now thinking, “Did my wife write this?” but enough is enough. There’s no room in a family for petty drama that shouldn’t exist in the first place. All kids should be created equal.
As I muster up the courage to share my thoughts with my in laws, I know we can’t be the only family that is experiencing this.
What are your suggestions for taking this problem head on?
