If you had told me a few years ago that getting my daughter into high school would feel like applying to college, I would have laughed. And yet, here we are. This year, our family entered what I now lovingly (and sometimes wearily) call “The High School Hustle”. For many Detroit families, this process is familiar territory; almost a rite of passage. But for me? A mom who grew up in the suburbs of Birmingham, Michigan, where you simply went to your neighborhood school and called it a day? This was an entirely new world.
When we moved back to Michigan from the East Coast two years ago, neither my daughter nor I had any idea how competitive Detroit’s top high schools had become. Essays, references, placement exams, open houses, shadow days, if there was a step, we took it. And somehow, through the chaos, my daughter found her stride in ways that left me both humbled and incredibly proud.
From Birmingham to the D: A Whole New Education Culture
Growing up in the Birmingham/Southfield area, high school applications weren’t even a thing. I attended a top public school simply because of where we lived. No essay, no entrance exam, no reference letters. My high school operated like a mini private college in its teaching style and academic standards, but admission required nothing more than an address within the district.
So when my husband and I moved our family to Detroit, I assumed the transition from middle school to high school would be just as simple. Enroll, register, show up in September, right? Oh, how naïve I was.
The first time another parent mentioned “the application process,” I honestly thought they meant for a specialized program or a magnet school. Then I learned this is just the norm in Detroit when you’re aiming for the top-performing schools. And not just one or two steps; it’s a full checklist of essays, exams, teacher recommendations, open houses, interviews, and endless deadlines.
In Birmingham, high school wasn’t something you earned; however in Detroit, it’s something you prepare for.
The Application Gauntlet: Essays, Exams, + Endless Tours
The adventure kicked off when my daughter chose her first-choice school: Cass Technical High School. And the weight of that decision hit me instantly because Cass Tech isn’t just another school to us, it’s part of our family’s story. My mom graduated from Cass 54 years ago. My aunt walked those same halls in the ’80s, and two of my cousins earned their diplomas there in the ’90s and early 2000s. If my daughter were accepted, she would become the next generation in a family legacy that spans decades, not to mention the serious rivalry and competition amongst the top three.
The family history aside is great, but it wasn’t going to write essays or take placement exams. That part was all on her.
The Essay Marathon
The first hurdle was the application along with an essay–well, essays, plural, depending on the school. My daughter stared at that first prompt like it was Mount Everest. And honestly, so did I. Thankfully, her middle school had a dedicated High School transition liaison/counselor who stepped in like an academic fairy godmother. She guided my daughter through four (yes, four!) rounds of drafts, helping her polish her voice, sharpen her message, and showcase her strengths.
Watching your eighth grader revise an essay for the tenth time during an already packed school week . . . it’s a special kind of parenting challenge. But she stayed with it, never complaining, just quietly doing the work. That alone taught me so much about who she is becoming.
Two Weeks of Tours + Open Houses
Then came the whirlwind: two straight weeks of open houses and high school tours throughout Detroit. I swear I learned more about high school chemistry labs, robotics programs, art curriculums, and early college credit options in those two weeks than I had in my entire adult life.
We visited Cass, Renaissance, King, and several other competitive programs. Some nights we were eating drive-thru dinners in the car between events. Some nights she asked thoughtful questions; other nights she just wanted to go home and sleep. I felt that deeply.
But those moments walking through hallways, peeking into classrooms, and imagining her future . . . they made the stress feel purposeful.
The Finale: the High School Placement Exam
Next came the Detroit Public Schools Community District (DPSCD) placement exam, the test that all Detroit public selective schools require. My daughter tested early in the morning on a Saturday, clutching her pencils like they were lucky charms. I dropped her off, then came back and waited in the parent area trying to look calm and cool while she finished up. On the inside, however, I was taking every question right alongside her and couldn’t wait until she was done with this entire process.
She walked out with a smile and shrugged, saying, “It was easy,” which is eighth-grader language for, “It could have been hard, not entirely sure, but I didn’t panic.” And that was enough for me.
Watching Her Grow Through the Process
I knew this experience would challenge her academically, but I didn’t expect the emotional growth. Somewhere between the essay drafts, the exam prep, and the school tours, she matured in ways I didn’t see coming. She became more organized. More confident in her voice. More certain of who she is and what she wants.
One night while editing an essay, she said, “It’s weird, but I actually like telling my story.” And I realized this process wasn’t only about finding the right school. It was helping her understand herself. As a mom, watching your child transform from “kid navigating middle school” to “young adult preparing for her future” is just . . . breathtaking.
Expanding the Search: Suburban + Private Options
Just when we thought we’d caught our breath after the DPSCD tours, we are gearing up for the next round: applications and shadow days for suburban public and private schools outside the district. Some are schools near where I grew up. Having the opportunity to walk through these spaces I imagine will feel oddly nostalgic, familiar to me but entirely new to her.
If the Detroit school search is its own world, the metro area private and public school scene is like a parallel universe. Different expectations, different cultures, different academic focuses. Shadow days are being scheduled, recommendation requests submitted if needed, and just a simpler application process: complete, then submit.
What This Journey Taught Me + What Other Moms Should Know
This process has been intense, emotional, and more involved than I ever imagined. But it has also been eye-opening. I’ve gained a new appreciation for Detroit’s passion for education and the pride families pour into helping their children succeed. I’ve realized high school in this city is not just a building–it’s a stepping stone, a dream, an investment in a child’s path. More than anything, I’ve learned that our kids are capable of so much more than we imagine. Even in the stress and uncertainty, my daughter showed strength, discipline, and heart.
So if you’re a Detroit mom just entering this process, here is what I want you to know:
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Start early. The deadlines are real and the steps add up fast and you want to submit within the first round so the chances are higher for acceptance for the school of choice.
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Lean on your school’s transition liaison. They are invaluable.
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Give yourself grace. You’re learning too.
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Trust your child. They may surprise you with their resilience.
No matter where she ends up next fall—Cass Tech or another great school—I’m already proud. Not because of an acceptance letter, but because of the journey she walked to get there. And honestly? That might be the most important lesson this High School Hustle taught us both.
