To my cherished daughter,
You are about to begin a new chapter, one where you’ll stretch yourself, stumble, learn, and surprise yourself. You’ll meet people who inspire you and others who challenge you, and you’ll find opportunities that expand your world in ways you can’t yet imagine. You’ll have chances to lead, explore new interests, and discover parts of yourself you haven’t met yet.
And through it all, here are some things I hope you’ll carry with you.
Be Yourself, Without Apology
When you were little, you’d walk into a room wearing your swimsuit, a tutu, and a pair of goggles, and you owned it. That kind of self-assurance is gold. While I’m not suggesting you walk into high school wearing that combination, I do hope you carry the same spirit.
There will be moments when you feel pressure to blend in. But the truth is, your differences are what make you magnetic. The right people will be drawn to your authenticity. Confidence isn’t about being the loudest voice, it’s about feeling at home in your own skin.
And here’s the beautiful part: when you show up as yourself, it gives other people permission to do the same. High school will give you countless opportunities, but the best gift you can offer to yourself and others is your authentic self.
Know That Your Sensitivity Is a Gift
Being yourself also means honoring the way you experience the world. You feel things deeply, the good and the hard. This means joy can light you up from the inside out, and hurt can feel heavier too. That depth is your superpower.
I remember that time when your friend was upset. While others hesitated, unsure of what to say or do, you stepped in. You held space with steadfast support. It’s not that the other friends didn’t want to help; they just didn’t know how, as they later shared. What stood out most was not just your sensitivity, but your willingness to act, to sit with your friends in the messy times too.
But here’s what I want you to remember: because you’re often the one holding space, people may not always know how to show up for you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Sensitivity doesn’t mean carrying it all alone. It means you know how to care deeply, and that includes caring for yourself.
Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Respect
You can be friendly to everyone without being friends with everyone. You pour yourself into your friendships fully. Not everyone will meet you there, and that’s okay. Boundaries help you notice who celebrates your presence and values your heart, so you can invest your energy where it’s well-received.
Everyone is worthy of respect, but not everyone earns the privilege of your inner circle. Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away. They’re about creating the space that allows your sensitivity to stay a strength.
Mistakes Are Part of the Adventure
You’re going to make mistakes, and that’s a good thing. It means you’re taking risks and putting yourself out there. Like Sophia Loren said, “Mistakes are the dues one pays for a full life.” When they happen, own them, and if they affected others, be sure to make it right. Then ask yourself, “What did this teach me?” That’s how mistakes turn into wisdom.
The biggest mistake is avoiding action out of fear of getting it wrong. Real mistakes come when you’re stretching yourself and learning something new. That’s where growth happens.
Receive Feedback With Wisdom
Mistakes and feedback go hand-in-hand. Feedback is often shared because someone sees your potential and wants to help you grow. And one of the most valuable skills you can develop is learning to receive feedback well.
So far, you’ve had leaders who offer it with thoughtfulness and care. But you’ll also meet people who haven’t learned that skill. Sometimes their words may sting because they’re speaking from their own hurt–not the truth about you. Feedback is information, not a verdict. Take what’s useful, let go of the rest, and trust your own compass.
Be a Problem-Solver + Take Action
It’s easy to notice what’s wrong. But the people who make a difference are the ones who ask, “What can I do about it?” Sometimes the solution is small, like including someone who’s sitting alone at lunch or offering to help a classmate with an assignment. Sometimes it’s bigger, like joining a club or cause that matters to you.
Don’t underestimate the ripple effect of even a small solution. Anyone can point out a problem, but it takes courage to roll up your sleeves and do something. And sometimes, taking action means speaking up. Activist Maggie Kuhn once said, “Stand before the people you fear and speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.” Even though you might be shaking, when your heart tells you something needs to be said, speak it.
Avoid Gossip–It Shrinks You
While action builds people up, gossip does the opposite. Gossip is a relationship built at the expense of someone who isn’t there. Those who talk about others will likely talk about you when you are not around.
Step away from it. Use your words to connect, not divide. You’ll never regret being known for kindness and integrity. And remember that empowered women empower women.
Pause Before You Leap
In a world that rewards filtered aesthetics and immediate gratification, pausing is its own kind of power. Ever since you were small, we’ve said, “Check it out inside.” That phrase, from Chick Moorman, matters even more now.
When you pause, you give yourself space to notice what’s happening inside you before rushing into a decision. It’s not always about labeling feelings as good or bad. It’s about noticing if a choice feels steady and true, or if something inside you says, “This isn’t right for me.”
Not every choice needs an instant answer. Let yourself sit with the sensations, the emotions, and your inner knowing before you act. That pause is where clarity lives. And if you ever find yourself in a situation that doesn’t feel right, you don’t have to handle it alone. Remember our code phrase, and know you always have a way out, no questions asked. Sometimes the bravest pause is asking for help.
You Always Have a Safe Space with Me
No matter what, you can come to me with anything. I will hold space for you without judgment. My love doesn’t hinge on your achievements or choices, it’s simply yours. And when you make mistakes, because you will, I’ll be right there with you as you grow through them.
I will also do my best to remember to ask, “Is this one of those times you want me to just listen, or to talk it through together?” That way, you can guide me toward the kind of support you need.
High school will bring laughter, tears, awkward moments, and unexpected wins. You’ll try new things, make mistakes, and sometimes get it wrong, but that’s how growth happens. Through it all, stay curious, stay kind, and keep listening to that wise inner voice. That’s the truest guide you’ll ever have, and I’ll be right here, offering a safe space as you grow into who you’re meant to become.
Love always,
Mom
So thoughtful, what a lucky daughter and Wise mother. 🙂
Thank you so much Kay! It’s an honor to learn and grow with her!