Do you have a parenting hurdle you’re working through? If so, “The Parenting Post” is for you! One of our writers, Albiona, has been answering all of YOUR parenting questions over on IG. We’ve turned her series into blog posts on our website as well. We just can’t get enough of her helpful advice, and we thought you’d appreciate it, too!
Her videos cover a wide variety of parenting questions–honestly, anything and everything! If it’s something you’re wondering, there’s a really good chance that another parent in our community is struggling with it, too. And Albiona is here to help!
June is Pride Month, and today she is sharing ways to talk with our kids when they have questions about sexuality and LGBTQIA+ individuals. By staying curious and having an open heart, we can help our kids to become incredible allies each and every day.
How can we respond to our kids when they have questions that surround sexuality?
Our kids may have questions about sexuality, or about navigating friendships when a friend is expressing something about their sexuality that is different from their own. I don’t have clinical advice as it pertains to this, but I can share how I approach the topic as a parent with my own kids. And, I don’t think the answer is as complicated as we make it out to be.
As my kids were growing up, something that I found absolutely refreshing was that when they were encountering situations where somebody was saying something like, “I’m bisexual,” or something like that, I feel like my kids’ generation was perfectly fine with it. They were very accepting and nonchalant about it. It didn’t carry a lot of weight for them. They didn’t really pay it a ton of attention.
One of the things that I’ve always talked to my kids about is to recognize differences and to celebrate them.
We don’t want to completely turn a blind eye to someone not being like us, but at the same time, we want to honor that somebody might be doing something a little bit differently than us, and we want to learn about it and approach it from a place of curiosity and kindness.
The other thing is that we always want to teach our kids acceptance.
And, acceptance comes in all different forms. We accept ourselves as we are in every single moment–if we’re making a mistake, when we’re not feeling our best, when we’re having a great day, etc. Our worth, our kids’ worth–we have to constantly express to them that it doesn’t matter, because you are enough exactly as you are, in this moment.
The same is true for every peer, every friend, every child, every single person in this world. This is something that I talked with my kids about a lot–this idea of acceptance, and embracing. You have to really be there for people. If you see that somebody is in need, make sure to be there for them, and vice versa. When you need someone to lean on, find people that you can do that with.
Be sure to give your kids a safe space where they can freely ask questions.
If they have questions, you need to recognize what’s coming up for you and how you react to their question(s). Is it a feeling like you might not say the right thing? You might feel like you’re starting to panic and then as a result, your child starts to feel as though they’ve asked a question that is making everyone uncomfortable. In this way, we start to create something that really isn’t even there. So, think about your energy and how you’re responding.
Here is something you can easily say to your kids when you’re starting to feel that little bubble of panic coming up about saying or doing the wrong thing: “I don’t know, but let’s find out together. Who could we ask?” Then, you turn it into a collaborative effort with them. Staying curious, together.
I think parents sometimes can get in the way. What we really want to do is just guide and support them and make sure we’re creating that space for questions to be asked, for acceptance to be preached, and for differences to be noticed and celebrated.
At the end of the day, that’s what makes it all count. And we want to make sure that we’re raising really well-rounded, kind-hearted, conscientious humans that will go out into the world and make a difference.
Looking for more resources?
Check out some of these great books:
- Daddy, Papa, and Me by Leslea Newman
- I Am Jazz by Jessica Herthel and Jazz Jennings
- Julián is a Mermaid by Jessica Love
- Love Makes A Family by Sophie Beer
- My Two Moms and Me by Michael Joosten
- Pride: The Story of Harvey Milk and the Rainbow Flag by Rob Sanders
Do you have more parenting questions for Albiona? Leave them below so she can possibly answer them for you. To learn more, you can follow Albiona on Instagram. Or, subscribe to her weekly newsletter and download her free guide for teaching parents how to get their kids to listen.
