What would I tell myself as a first-time mom? My first instinct is to tell myself what I should look out for and what I could do better. But after more thought, I don’t think I would offer advice. Advice can feel pretentious, like I know it all, which, let’s face it, as a first-time mom, I didn’t know a damn thing, let alone “it all.” What I craved back then, entering this uncharted territory called motherhood, wasn’t a list of dos and don’ts.
Telling my past self all the things I know now is like advising your 16-year-old daughter not to date that guy who seems like bad news or to steer clear of that friend who’s a bad influence. That shit never sticks because hearing something and actually living through it are worlds apart.
It’s those lived experiences that truly shape us, paving the way for growth and a better understanding of ourselves. Each step we take on this journey of motherhood adds to our story, guiding us towards our future selves. So, what would I say to my first-time mom self? It’s simple: “You’ve got this!”
“You’ve got this!”
Despite the days when tears seemed endless, when your bladder acted like it had a mind of its own, and when your nipples felt as raw as . . . well, you get the picture. That won’t compare to the feeling you have when you see the life you built 5, 10, 15 years from now. Those little humans you’re nurturing are thriving, and so are you. They look up to you, love you, and respect you. You’ve given them the space to be themselves, to fail and to learn, breaking generational molds along the way.
“You’ve got this!”
Wait till you see how you’re raising your girls—with a voice, teaching them to stand for what they believe in, to venture into spaces they’re told they don’t belong, breaking traditional norms. They can do this because you do this.
You’ve paved the way. You’ve shown them it’s okay to walk away from something you’ve done for 20 years if it no longer brings you joy or serves your purpose. You’ve demonstrated the ability to pivot, to start over, to put yourself first, to prioritize your needs and your mental well-being. Your daughters see this daily and feel empowered because of you.
“You’ve got this!”
Navigating stepmotherhood comes with its own set of challenges, but you’ll meet them with strength and love. You’ll build relationships founded on trust and respect. Your stepdaughter will see you as a source of unwavering support and love, thanks to the intentional and caring way you approach blending your family.
In fact, you even wrote a picture book inspired by your own experiences as a stepmom and stepdaughter–a beautiful book that celebrates the unique and important role of stepmothers, debunking negative stereotypes and offering blended families the happy ending they deserve.
“You’ve got this!”
You’re the mom you set out to be—present, open-minded, honest, supportive, and loving. Remember, every journey has its highs and lows; that’s how growth happens. But do not doubt yourself for one second. You’re amazing, navigating the complexities of motherhood with grace. You are an incredible mom, and I’m here to remind you of that. That’s what I would tell myself as a first-time mom.
So moms, let’s stand together, supporting and celebrating each other’s journeys in motherhood. Share your stories, struggles, and triumphs with our community. Because every mom deserves to hear: You got this because you are amazing.
