Día de Muertos is a beautiful holiday full of remembrance, colorful ofrendas, and intricately detailed calaveras. Have you ever seen them and thought, “Wow, I wish I could do that!” but felt like you couldn’t, because you don’t share the same roots as the culture the holiday originated from? Or maybe you do share those roots, but you’re not sure how to tap into them because you didn’t grow up with the holiday like it is observed today?
Let me tell you a secret: I’m Mexican-American and have only been celebrating this holiday with intention for 13 years.
I’ve got a few questions for you.
Do you have loved ones that have passed away? How often do you talk about them with your kids? Does a holiday that celebrates the lives of those that came before us, a holiday that encourages us to share happy memories and anecdotes of the loved ones who have died, sound like something you’d like to celebrate?
I’m here to share ways you can celebrate and experience Día de Muertos with respect and honor to Mexican and Latin American cultures. Before you decorate your face like La Catrina, read on to get familiar with the holiday and why it’s so much deeper than beautiful makeup!
How I Celebrate Día de Muertos
Growing up, my Grandma Dora had an altar filled with photos, mementos, and candles year-round. She would light them and think about her loved ones. And, she would answer any questions I had about the faces pictured on her altar.
In 2011, my family started getting together on a weekend near November 1st and 2nd to decorate calaveras (sugar skulls), eat delicious food, and share memories of our loved ones who have passed. We took our adorned calaveras to the cemetery in Saginaw where many of my family members’ physical bodies are buried.
My cousins remember lighting candles and talking about Día de los Muertos prior to 2011. But we didn’t outwardly start celebrating the holiday together until then. To my family it was tied to All Saints Day and All Souls Day within our Catholic church as well as our Mexican roots. Honoring and remembering our loved ones who had passed was a part of me growing up–my understanding of the holiday had only just begun.
Now together with my husband and children, we set up our ofrenda and celebrate together. My family shares their ofrendas on our family Facebook page. And, we share stories and memories of our loved ones and celebrate the lives they lead.
Before celebrating, learn about the origins and history of Día de Muertos.
With the power of the internet and local events, I have learned so much about the holiday and how it has changed over the years–from thousands of years ago in Mesoamerica to now. There are so many influences that have made Día de Muertos into what it is today. Even scratching the surface would be a whole separate blog post! A great way to ensure you are respecting the holiday and not appropriating the culture is to learn the history.
Here are some local resources to learn and experience Día de Muertos:
The Detroit Institute of Arts
The DIA is hosting a community exhibition of ofrendas until November 3rd. You can even decorate your own calavera in a sugar skull workshop while learning about them! This link also features Educator Guides and Lesson Plans for teaching students of all ages about the holiday.
The Detroit Riverfront Conservancy
The Detroit Riverfront Conservancy is hosting a Día de Muertos celebration at Robert C. Valade Park on Saturday, November 2nd. This is a family-friendly event featuring food, live music, ballet folklórico, shop vendors, children’s activities, and more!
Your Local Library
Check your local library to see if they are having a Día de Muertos event too!
I also really enjoyed reading about the history of Día de Muertos through the lens of the University of Arizona associate professor Michelle Téllez from their Department of Mexican American Studies.
When searching the internet for more information on Día de Muertos, pay attention to the source of the information and who was referenced when writing the article; are you reading something with Latina/Latino voices represented?
Building a Día de Muertos Ofrenda
From the grand ofrendas on display in public areas to intimate ones in homes, there are a few key components of an ofrenda. These are:
- Candles
- Decorations
- Offerings (Water and food)
- Photos of loved ones
While choosing my offerings, I make sure to have at least one item that represents each of the four elements: Earth, Water, Fire, and Wind. Examples of what I use are:
- Earth: Flowers (cempasúchil, or marigolds, from my garden), fruit, favorite foods of those on the ofrenda, baked goods such as Pan de Muerto
- Water: Glass of water, favorite beverages of my loved ones
- Fire: Candles
- Wind: Papel picado, incense, musical instruments
For decorations, I recommend using what you have at home and what fits the interests of the loved ones on your ofrenda! I utilize many handed-down items from my Grandma and gifts I received from when my sister lived in Mexico for a short time.
It can be easy to purchase decorations from big box stores while you’re getting groceries. I encourage you to seek out local small businesses if you’re looking for some Mexican goods for your ofrenda. Although bigger stores have been doing a better job of sourcing designs and goods from Latina and Latino sources, I like going to places like La Jalisciense Supermercado y Taquiera in Mexicantown in Detroit and Super Mercado el Jalisco in Livonia for my candles and decorations, as well as ingredients for cooking my family’s favorite Mexican meals. Dark II Light in Southgate also has a selection of goods from Mexico!
In 2020, I did not set up a whole ofrenda. On the night of November 1, I grabbed a candle, lit it, and read through our collection of “Parent Trading Cards” as my husband and I call our memorial cards. The best ofrenda is made of what you have in the moment.
Celebrating Together
Now that you’ve got your photos and ofrenda, it is time to enjoy the holiday with your family! When my family and I celebrate, we start with sharing a meal together (typically enchiladas with rice and beans, my favorite meal I loved making with my Grandma Dora). We then take small portions of the meal to put on the ofrenda. After that, we look at each photo and share memories with our children.
While telling stories about our loved ones in the pictures, the kids help us choose what we should leave as an offering based on the story we tell: tea for Grandma Dora, candy for my father-in-law Malcolm, a Coors Light for my dad Glenn. This is your opportunity to share stories and celebrate the lives that they lived!
When talking about my husband’s Grandpa Neal, we talked about his love for airplanes and showed a picture of him flying. The kids went and found a toy airplane to include next to Neal’s photo. My cousin Sonny passed away in early 2023–when the time came to talk about him, the kids chose to sing a song by one of Sonny’s favorite bands (“Detroit Rock City” by KISS, if you’re curious) and placed a karaoke microphone on the ofrenda to welcome him with something we know he loved: music. Now every time my kids hear the song or see an airplane, they think of their family.
It is a great opportunity to share memories from your own upbringing with your kids. Look at photos together, answer the questions they have, and tell them about the people who have formed you into who you are! Let all the emotions come out–there can be happiness and grief, and there is beauty in sharing that with our children.
