Dear Moms, Let’s Create a No-Judgment Zone

Hey You,

 

Welcome to the No-Judgment Zone.

 

 

I know you are inundated every single day with articles and posts and research that tells you what you should be doing and what you shouldn’t be doing as a Mom. I know you feel judged, confused, unsure and angry. I know your feelings are hurt when someone posts a well meaning comment on your Facebook photo and it hits a nerve that is a little too raw. I know that every major choice you make leaves a tiny voice in your ear that nags, “What if you are wrong?” I know the eyes of strangers can sometimes make your cheeks burn and the comments of family members can set your soul on fire.

 

So, here is what I want you to know: I have no interest in changing the way you raise your kids.

Here is the catch: I have no interest in hearing how you think I should raise mine.

 

We will not always do things the same way. We will handle situations differently. We will feel passionate about certain methods, tactics and practices that have the ability to polarize us and turn us against each other. 

 

 

Please know that I couldn’t pretend to love your children more than you do. If I hate something that you do so much that I just can’t bring myself to accept it, I’ll bow out of the friendship. Because trying to change your mind isn’t going to work, and it isn’t going to make you want to remain my friend either.

 

Also, please don’t think my refusal to do something the same way you do means I condemn you for doing it, it just means that I’m doing what works for us. For instance, I co-sleep. I feel it makes breastfeeding easier, I sleep better and I love having my babies close to me at night. I would never feel comfortable with my baby across the hall in his own crib in his own room. 

 

Do I care if you co-sleep? Nope! Not even a little. If you have a no kids policy for your bed, that’s your business. If you ever ask for advice on bed sharing or are genuinely interested to try it, I would love to discuss it with you. If you never ask me for advice about sleeping arrangements, I’ll never try to sway you to my side. If your motive is to debate the issue, I politely decline. I already know all of your points. I’ve already read the articles. I already know the statistics. I know every worry you have for my babies and I know how to bed share safely. If it works for you, then let it work. My way works for me.

 

Lastly, please don’t mistake my enthusiasm for breastfeeding, co-sleeping, or anything else I’m into as an attack on you or your beliefs. I am proud of reaching goals that I’ve set for myself, and I am allowed to be. I share new information, exciting research and photos on social media not to condemn you or your way of life, but with the hope that someone else I know will find the same things interesting. If you don’t, or if you disagree with me, can you just move past it without comment and know that I still love you and I still want to be your friend? I promise to do the same.

 

Just be the Mom you want to be and make NO apologies. Learn as much as you can about your options and make a choice that feels right for you and your kids. I want to be your friend no matter what choices you make, as long as you want to be mine.

 

 

Love,

Annie