Here’s something I wish someone had told me when my littles were still in diapers, sticky fingers grasping at my legs while I attempted to make one more perfectly magical holiday memory, and ended up yelling in a fit of frustration instead: You don’t have to do it all.
In fact, you don’t have to do even half of what is on your Magical To-Do List right now. And I guarantee your kids will still think this season is the absolute best and look forward to it year after year. The bonus is that you’ll be less stressed, which will actually increase the magic that your children enjoy.
If you’re Type A like me and need some specifics (that can be made into a list, of course!), I’ll break it down for you. Here are three important things you can let go of this holiday season.
1. Anything that you simply don’t have time for.
Need to take a treat to preschool and short on time? Buy it instead of making it homemade! See beautifully curated advent calendars on social media but can’t find the time in the day to take a shower, let alone make those? Skip ‘em! Don’t have time to address a bunch of envelopes and get to the post office? It’s okay not to mail holiday cards. No one has time to do every single possible tradition. So go ahead and let something fall off your list that you don’t have time for.
For me, it’s porch pots. I would love to have the time to craft sparkling porch pots with foraged greens and birch logs . . . but I just do not have the time. So, I crossed it off my list years ago and have never looked back. My neighbors may have nicely decorated porches for the holidays. However, it’s just not something I have time for–and I’ve made peace with that.
2. Anything that will make more of a mess than it’s worth.
If the concept of handing your little one a bottle of sprinkles makes your blood pressure rise infinitely, or if the idea of painting your baby’s toes to get that adorable footprint ornament makes you cringe, then this is your permission to cross those items off your list. Homemade items are awesome. But if the stress of making them and then cleaning up makes the experience less than enjoyable, they’re not worth it.
An option that takes the middle ground here is to outsource. Go somewhere like The Painted Pot for those footprint keepsakes, or take a cookie decorating class with Toots Sweets Cookies. Let them handle the set up and clean up for you!
3. Anything not in line with your values for this season.
This is broad, but this is important. Take a moment (which I know is very hard when you’re mothering little ones) and think about what you value most. Now name something you do during the holidays that doesn’t line up with those values. Cross it off your list! This could be as simple as you don’t want to force your child to sit on a stranger’s lap for a photo opportunity because it’s not in line with your value of bodily autonomy and consent.
Here’s an example from my life: I greatly value minimalism and sustainability. I’ve let go of the pressure to create a giant pile of gifts under the Christmas tree. Instead, I have embraced the idea of experiences as gifts. This simplifies both gift buying and wrapping greatly for me, and makes me feel more authentic celebrating the holidays.
And a note on Elf on the Shelf here: if it brings you joy, then by all means do it. If for any reason it does not line up with your values for the season (for example, you don’t want to focus on good behavior being required for presents), then take my permission to skip it. We don’t need to bend to social pressures. And in fact, it’s good to teach our children that different families have different traditions and ways of celebrating. A Google search will give you a variety of ideas for explaining why some families have elves and others don’t. And, it can even give you some crafty ways to “retire” your elf if you have one but don’t want to continue the tradition.
The bottom line is this: you can put in a fraction of the effort that the internet makes you think you need to, and your little ones will still love you and this season with all their beautiful hearts. They will still see the sparkles and brightness of the holidays and feel wrapped in the warmth of love and know that this truly is the most wonderful time of the year. It’s okay to let go of unreasonable holiday expectations and focus on what truly matters most to you.
Hold your little ones extra close, sing them your favorite songs, and kiss those precious faces. Now, that’s true magic.
