The Mom Low-Down :: Can we all please STOP JUDGING?!

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Enough, already!

On behalf of all moms, new mommies in particular: Can we all please STOP JUDGING?!

Good grief, I’m so over it!

(Deep breath.)

I’m a little scared to post photos of my daughter, Lucy, to any sort of social media right now because of the judgmental comments. The mall seems like a breeding ground for “baby experts.” Even friends and family can sometimes be overwhelming in terms of giving their “advice.”

I cannot tell you how many times a day I’m made to feel like an awful parent. And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

I posted a photo on my Instagram account recently (@cupcakeshannon, by the way!) of my husband, Andrew, making dinner in our kitchen with Lucy on his chest in the Baby Bjorn. Oh my goodness. Cue the SuperMoms and their judging.

 

“Those carriers are so bad for the babies hips and legs.”

 

“WHY would you ever subject your daughter to that thing?”

 

A pic of Lucy in her car seat with stuffed animal puppy strap covers?

The SuperMoms were in full force letting me know that strap covers are a “forbidden product” and I needed to read my car seat manual and take a safety class at my local hospital.

For the record, she was in her stroller, not the car. I put those on her when we’re going to be walking around for awhile so the straps don’t irritate her little neck. P.S. I took a Baby Safety class and yes, have even read my car seat manual, thank you.

I love putting Lucy in headbands. (She’s bald, so it helps people realize that she’s a girl, not a boy. Ha. Plus, I think they’re so cute!!!)

Well, SuperMoms are informing me that I really should stop doing that because she’ll be embarrassed later in life when she looks at her baby photos.

And comments on my post-baby body? I’m not even going to go there.

It’s so frustrating! We are all in this together. None of us are perfect mommies. And HELLO: We would never do anything to put our child(ren) in harm’s way. So just chill out! (Obviously, if you see a child in danger, speak up. I’m more so talking about the unnecessary comments and opinions here.)

I’m hoping I don’t sound like a careless, bitter, angry mama … because I swear, I’m not! I just know all about that little tingle of hurt that arises when people make comments. It’s stressful enough being a new mom and trying to figure out all of this “stuff;” The comments simply add another layer of anxiety.

I actually have a photo that I keep on my iPhone for moments when I need to step back and take that deep breath.

 

Be-Gentle-With-Yourself-Shannon 

 

Encouragement is SO powerful at this stage in a woman’s life. It means so much to me when I’m complimented on how I’m parenting my daughter, instead of being made to feel like I’m doing everything wrong. Being a mom is such a beautiful, gratifying, amazing experience … Don’t ruin it for someone else.

I’m hoping that this little post will make us all think before we rush to judge another mom.

One more thing: You HAVE to watch this video that Similac did about this topic. I was dying laughing. They nailed it.

 

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Hi, hi! I'm Shannon Murphy, and I'm a NEW MOMMY! If you listen to the "Mojo in the Morning" show on Channel 955 (www.mojointhemorning.com), you know all about my little lady, Lucy. She was born on April 8th, 2014 and I just love her to pieces. (P.S. Yes, I'm crazy and I wake up at 3:30am to get to work!) You might also know my husband, or at least the business he owns with his brother; His name is Andrew, and he's the co-owner of Goldfish Swim School (www.goldfishswimschool.com). They have several locations in the Detroit area (and lots of 'em out of state, too!). Their specialty is teaching little fishies ages 4 months to 12 years of age how to swim! I love cooking, taking walks, playing with my Toy Parti Poodle Charlie, shopping, traveling, doing yoga, running, and watching Bravo. And E! Ok, ok. And "Wheel of Fortune." Every night. Yes, I'm 31 going on 80.

14 COMMENTS

  1. Haha, don’t worry. The new mommy judging will stop soon. It usually coincides with the start of the little girl judging, which transitions into the school age girl, middle school girl and high school girl judging. And you will wish you had the mommies still judging you, because at least that was directed toward you and not your daughter. Start growing that thick skin now, and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about car seat straps and hats. That’s nothing compared to the day your tall, thin 2nd grader comes home in tears because her legs are “fatter” than everyone’s she compared them to at recess. And just wait till the first girl wins the attention of the cute boy in class and its not your kid. Its a long road, and you have just started. Stop getting bogged down in what everyone else thinks or you won’t survive the next 18 years.

  2. Shannon
    Don’t listen to what everyone else says! With being a mommy comes intuition. Just trust yourself. What’s good for some won’t be good for others. I went through the something with my daughter. I was made to feel bad because I let her sleep with me as a baby and didn’t let her cry it out. Turns out… She is 17, smart, beautiful, and practly perfect in every way! You just keep doing what your doing!! Lucy will turn out just like her mama… Amazing!

  3. Being a mom is tough work.. everyone does seem to think they know the ‘right way’ to raise a child. But that’s THEIR child, not yours. Family, friends and strangers all seem to think they know more than you… but you as their mom will always be the best judge of what is right for you and for your family. Learn to let go of your thin skin, it only gets more interesting as they get older.. trust your instincts and just go with it but don’t ever think for a moment that people will stop judging, it’s human nature. And rare is the person who shrinks back into that pre baby body within the first few months (or longer). I’ve had four children and for each one wore maternity clothes for the first few months post baby.. and it felt GREAT.

  4. Hi Shannon! I loved this post. Everyone always has their own opinions and think that their way is best. I think you and Andrew are doing a fantastic job raising Lucy! She’s absolutely adorable and looks so happy all of the time. As long as your child is happy and healthy, it is no ones business what you choose to dress her in, put her in or carry her in. Trust your instincts!

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