50 Signs You’re a Detroit Parent

If you’re a parent in the metro-Detroit area, you might find yourself doing things a bit differently than your mommy friends from around the country. Our contributors had a lot of fun putting together this list and brainstorming what makes parenting in Detroit so unique.  We’re excited to bring you with…

50 Signs You’re a Detroit Parent

      1. Your child owned at least one onesie with an old-english D on it, before they were even born.
      2. You know the only true kid-friendly restaurant is a Coney Island.
      3. Speaking of Coney Islands, coney dogs are your biggest pregnancy craving.
      4. You go “Up North” for family vacations.  And by “Up North,” you mean anywhere 60 miles outside of the metro-Detroit area (even if it’s not north).
      5. You buy Halloween costumes a size bigger, so they can accommodate a snowsuit.
      6. You know that Vernors is the only cure for a bellyache.
      7. Your babies were born bleeding either green+white or maize+blue.
      8. Your family only buys cars from the Big 3 (and you always find a way to get the employee discount!)
      9. Your kids order “pop” when you go out to eat. And you would be horrified if they called it “soda.”
      10. Fat Tuesday is a real holiday and the only way to celebrate is with Paczkis.
      11. “Hot ‘n’ Ready” only has one meaning to your kids: pizza!
      12. You make sure birthday parties are stocked with the essentials: Faygo, Better Made chips, and Sander’s Bumpy Cake.
      13. Your kids can pronounce Mackinac, Hamtramck, and Schoenherr perfectly.
      14. You don’t know what’s worse: being pregnant for a Michigan winter or being pregnant for a Michigan summer.
      15. You buy your kids “tennis shoes”. . . never sneakers. Whether they play tennis or not.
      16. You wish your kids had a chance to go to a game at “old” Tiger Stadium.
      17. You worry about how much of Eminem’s rapping your child has been exposed to (I mean, c’mon 95.5, there are other artists out there!)
      18. It’s no big deal to take your kids to Canada for the day.
      19. Your kids grow up referring to distance as measures of time, never miles. They’ll also learn that anywhere you want to go is “just 30 minutes away.”
      20. You’ve had a swimsuit and snowsuit in your diaper bag at the same time.
      21. You know there are realistically about 3 months throughout the whole year when you can pack away the boots and snow pants.
      22. Allowance is earned by returning bottles and cans.
      23. You have a favorite city on the Lake Michigan shore to visit.
      24. The best day trips are to Cedar Point and Frankenmuth.
      25. You say “it’s not even cold” if the temperature is anywhere above 40 degrees.
      26. It is totally normal for your kids to show out-of-towners where they live by pointing to their hand.
      27. You did a happy dance when Comerica Park announced it officially had a nursing/toddler room.
      28. Your kid’s first teddy was a Lion or a Tiger . . . not a bear.
      29. Your kids can’t go to Meijer without riding Sandy.
      30. You complain every year when stores begin selling swimsuits in January.
      31. While on road trips to other cities, you’ve had to explain to your kids that there aren’t Tim Hortons everywhere.
      32. Your kids are obsessed with everything construction, because “construction season” in Detroit never ends!
      33. You’ve been to birthday parties at Jungle Java and Detroit Kid City.
      34. You’re guilty of taking your baby into a craft brewery.
      35. You take your kids to Olga’s and Big Boy because those were your favorite childhood restaurants. 
      36. You have a favorite apple orchard that you return to every September.
      37. You allow your kids to wear shorts to school once it hits 50 degrees.
      38. When you pack away the winter clothes for summer, you keep some fleece jackets and pajamas out just in case

You have a picture of your child…

39. fist bumping Joe Lewis

40. standing next to Paws

41. eating a coney dog

42. wearing a Tigers jersey

43. at Eastern Market

44. peeking out of the prairie dog hole at the zoo

45. in front of the Weinermobile at Henry Ford Museum

46. swimming in Lake Michigan

47. drinking a Biggby coffee

48. riding Sandy at Meijer

49. eating square pizza

50. in front of the Diego Rivera mural at the DIA

Detroit Parents


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