Navigating Secondary Infertility As You Grow Your Family

November 17, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The following post is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about secondary infertility.

The thing about infertility is that it can happen whether you’re trying to grow your family for the first time or for the third. If you were able to conceive without reproductive support and now, as you try to grow your family again, you’re having difficulty, secondary infertility may be the reason why.

Our friends from Michigan Center for Fertility and Women’s Health are here to support you on your fertility journey. You might have caught their Fertility Friday series on our IG page–quick videos to answer common fertility questions. Below, they’re sharing about secondary infertility and what you might be able to expect if you’re navigating this journey.

What is secondary infertility?

Secondary infertility refers to those experiencing infertility issues after they’ve already previously conceived and given birth without the assistance of reproductive treatment or technologies.

How long do I need to wait before seeking support?

We use similar guidelines for primary infertility when diagnosing secondary infertility: if you are over 35 and have been trying to conceive for six months, or if you are under 35 and have been trying to conceive for one year. Of course, changes in your health status may impact these criteria.

For example, did your cycles change, or are they absent? Do you have a new medical diagnosis? Certain factors may indicate a reason for a consult sooner than the standard infertility definitions.

Why does secondary infertility occur?

Similarly to primary infertility, there are a variety of reasons why secondary infertility may occur. A common reason may be age. If you were younger, especially younger than 35 when conceiving your first child, it may be more challenging to conceive for the second time (especially if you are now over the age of 35). This can occur due to the natural decline in the number of eggs we have and the quality of those eggs.

Other possible causes may include anatomical changes, sperm changes, or new medical diagnoses, to name a few.

“I conceived before, so I definitely don’t need to go in to be seen…”

It can be a misconception that if you were able to conceive previously without reproductive support, you won’t need intervention the next time around. However, that’s not necessarily the case. Secondary infertility is not uncommon and certainly if you are meeting the criteria listed above, it may be worth making an appointment and getting a workup started. Determining if there is a cause for secondary infertility and treating it appropriately will help to achieve the goal of growing your family in a timely and efficient manner.

What can I expect at an appointment for secondary infertility?

An appointment for secondary infertility will look similar to an appointment for those experiencing infertility for the first time. A detailed history, including your prior conceptions and details associated with getting pregnant in the past, will be included. Based on the history, a work-up will be ordered followed by a follow-up to determine what options are best. This will allow us to establish a plan ideally suited for you.

Navigating a new diagnosis? Check out our previous post sharing what you should know about PCOS.

What I’d Do Differently as a Preemie Mama

Whitney Cornelli

November 17, 2024

November is Prematurity Awareness Month. It is an opportunity to celebrate, honor, and remember our children who were born too soon. According to the March of Dimes, an infant is considered premature if they are born before 37 weeks of pregnancy. In 2022, the state of Michigan had a preterm birth rate of 10.4%. This equates to roughly one in 10 babies being born prematurely. Think about your circle of friends and their children. You may find yourself in the midst of a preemie.

My oldest daughter is one in 10. She was born at 34 weeks, a little over 24 hours after I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. She is now a sweet and spunky seven-and-a-half-year-old who has come a LONG way from that little four pound baby. And November is always a month for us to celebrate how far she’s come and remember where she started.

When I gave birth at 34 weeks, I had no idea what to expect. The thoughts that ran through my mind were scary. Conversations with doctors sounded more like Charlie Brown’s teacher than anything I could make sense of. My husband and I were first-time parents of a baby who we had to scrub in from fingertip to elbow just to stand next to.

I think about our experience with prematurity quite a bit. The helpful bits of advice we were given from people we didn’t realize were familiar with prematurity were greatly appreciated. However, looking back, there are definitely a few things I would have done differently when I had a premature baby.

I would have listened to the stories of people who had been there before me.

I was confident that nobody else could possibly know what I was going through. One night, I remember crying in the NICU when we had to complete yet another feeding via NG tube (a small tube that runs through the nose straight into the stomach). Our daughter had fallen asleep while drinking from a bottle (suck-swallow-breathe is VERY tiring for a preemie). My mom told me of a friend whose daughter was born prematurely and how one day feeding just “clicked.” I shrugged it off and thought there was no way that would happen with us.

A few days later we were taking our preemie home because she no longer needed her NG tube (among other goals she had achieved). Rather than really listening to what my mom’s friend had to say, I shrugged it off and thought I was alone. Oh, how I wasn’t. Take in what those who have been there before you have to say, and take it to heart.

I would have quit Googling things late at night.

While pumping in the middle of the night in my hospital room, I would google the same preemie-related things: respiratory distress, pneumothorax, length of NICU stay for a 34-weeker, etc. I would read the same few articles each night, thinking that perhaps this time, it would make me feel better. It didn’t. No matter how many times I read the same article, it was always scary.

Talking to the medical team during rounds and asking questions made me feel better (which, we were told to do. It was the “don’t google” advice that we were never given!). The medical team is there for you. Go to them with the questions you were debating googling. Then rest assured when they provide you with information that is tailored exactly to your little fighter.

I would have reached out to that person who told me they were there if I needed anything.

Someone reached out and told me that they had recently had a premature baby. She said if I needed to talk, I could send her a message. I definitely needed to talk, but I never sent her a message. I wondered how she could know what I was experiencing. Every preemie baby and experience is so different. However, moms need to support one another and take up offers of support, too. So if someone reaches out to you, don’t dismiss their offer.

Take a few days or a few weeks, and when you’re feeling ready, type out your message and hit send. Prematurity is LONELY. I felt alone. Someone reached out to me, but I didn’t feel like I could reach back. If I had, I would have found someone in a similar situation. It would have been close enough to make me feel less alone during a very scary time.

I would have written it all down.

The NICU gifted us a journal to keep track of our days while we were there. It was part of our welcome bag, which I stubbornly didn’t even look inside until the week our daughter was discharged. I only wrote two entries in her journal. I really wish I would have started with how I was feeling on day one. Having a preemie is full of ups and downs, good days and bad days. By the end of her NICU stay, we were feeling pretty confident and proud. In the beginning, though? Not so much.

Pictures are wonderful, but your concrete thoughts and feelings can also last forever. So write it out. Maybe it’s once a day or once every few days. Writing about how you’re feeling can be helpful in remembering how far you and your child have come.

Prematurity is scary. It can feel lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. This Prematurity Awareness Month, celebrate your little fighter. Remember where they started, and marvel at how far they’ve come since then. But don’t forget about yourself: you’ve come a long way, too, and you’ve learned so much along the way.

What pieces of advice do you wish you would have been given during your prematurity journey? Moms in our community shared their best advice for parents of preemies.

Metro Detroit Winter Activities from A to Z

LaurenDalton

November 15, 2024

Detroit Mom partnered with the amazing people at Blake Farms to bring you this post. All opinions are our own.

There is a chill in the air and the snowflakes will be falling soon. Before we know it, the kids will be off school for holiday break, and we will all be scrambling to fill those cold winter days.

Our team here at Detroit Mom is here to help fill up your winter calendar and keep the festivities planned all winter long! Our list of metro Detroit winter activities from A to Z is sure to keep your family busy these next few months.

Whatever you choose to do, remember to have FUN and share with us on social media. We can’t wait to see all the fun things you do this winter!

Metro Detroit Winter Activities from A to Z: Winter Bucket List

B is for Blake Farms! This winter, make it A Season to Remember at Blake’s—your ultimate family destination for festive fun and memory-making! Spend the day picking out the perfect Christmas tree with u-cut and pre-cut options, visit with Santa to capture the magic, and drop off letters straight to the North Pole. Enjoy a cozy dinner in our Tasting Room, with the choice to dine inside or in a charming igloo. And don’t forget to stop by the Cider Mill for fresh donuts, cider, and holiday treats to make this season truly unforgettable.

Head to our website to learn more about what we have planned this winter!

A: Arctic Coliseum | Chelsea

Bring the ice skating indoors at the Arctic Coliseum. They offer DJ ice skating with disco lights on Saturdays as well as a variety of open skate options throughout the week.

Bonus: Be part of the Ann Arbor Polar Plunge to help support the Special Olympics of Michigan.

B: Big, Bright Light Show | Rochester

Take a stroll down Main Street and check out one of the best light displays in the area. With over 1.5 million lights, downtown Rochester is sure to light up this winter season. Main Street will also be home to a variety of events including window painting contests, cookie strolls, winter markets, and so much more.

Bonus: Enjoy Breakfast with Santa at the Grosse Pointe War Memorial on December 15th or Bedtime with Santa on December 8th-12th.

C: Canterbury Village | Lake Orion

Canterbury Village offers events year round, but is sure to help fill the calendar up these next few months. Stroll through the village that has been transformed with over one million lights, listen to carolers sing, and enjoy meeting many of your favorite holiday characters.

Bonus: Hop on a Christmas Light Trolley Tour with friends from either Troy or Grosse Pointe!

D: Dodge Park Ice Rink | Sterling Heights

The Dodge Park Ice Rink will be open for the season on December 1st. The ice rink is free for residents and $5 for non-residents. They also offer skate rentals and sharpening.

Bonus: Check out indoor ice skating at Detroit Skating Club in Bloomfield Hills.

E: Edsel and Eleanor Ford House | Grosse Pointe Shores

Take a step back in time and immerse yourself in the Ford House’s beauty in one of their nighttime Ford House Christmas tours. They also offer holiday events for both kids and adults throughout the next few months. Be sure to also check out their story times on Tuesdays, too! And, this year the glittering lights are back to illuminate the beautiful grounds.

Bonus: Visit the last Holiday Market of the season on December 1st at Eastern Market.

F: Fox Theatre | Detroit

The holiday season would not be complete without a trip downtown to visit the Fox or Fisher Theater. From How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Nutcracker, Cirque Du Soleil, and many more all winter long . . . there is a show for everyone!

Bonus: Enjoy a family movie day with $5 MJR rewind classics.

G: Glenlore Trails | Commerce Township

Enjoy the immersive winter experience as you stroll through the one mile pathway of live performances and interactive light features.

Bonus: Head on over to Greenfield Village for Holiday Nights!

H: Huckleberry Railroad | Flint

All aboard! Time to board the Huckleberry Railroad train and take in thousands of dazzling lights. When your ride is over, browse the shops and finish that Christmas shopping for everyone on your list.

Bonus: Get in the spirit in check out the Holiday Bar at the Royal Park Hotel.

I: Igloo Dining | Various Locations

As the weather cools down it’s time to bring the dining indoors–kind of–and dine inside the many igloo dining locations around Metro Detroit. From Blake’s in Armada, to Watermark in St. Clair Shores, to Detroit Fleat in Ferndale, you will be sure to see igloos popping up all over town as the temperatures begin to drop.

Bonus: Go sledding at Indian Springs Metropark in White Lake.

J: Jingle Bell Run | Shelby Township

Just because the weather is getting cooler and the snow is beginning to fall doesn’t mean our fitness is put on the back burner completely. Dust off those running shoes (or snow boots, maybe) and head over to the Jingle Bell Run for a 5k benefiting several charities around metro Detroit. The run takes place on Sunday, December 15th.

Bonus: Head over to the Jingle Mingle in St. Clair Shores on December 7th.

K: Kensington Metropark | Milford

There may be some snow on the ground soon, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go hiking. Bundle up and head out to one of the many trails at Kensington Park. Throughout the month of December, they also offer an event called “Chow Time at the Farm,” where children can help the staff feed the animals!

Bonus: Take a Chunky Knit Blanket class at one of the various AR Workshop locations in Metro Detroit to stay cozy all winter long.

L: Light the Village | Rochester

Head over to the village of Rochester Hills to watch it glow in lights on November 22nd. There will be food trucks, Santa visits, and and evening ends with winter fireworks.

Bonus: Try out indoor ice skating at Livonia Civic Arena.

M: Meadow Brook Hall and Theater | Rochester

With over 50 trees and live greenery throughout the historic landmark home, this self-guided holiday tour is not one to miss. You can then head outside to the dazzling light display and purchase many tasty treats. Lastly, grab your tickets for the 40th anniversary of the Christmas Carol put on at Meadow Brook Theater, right on the Oakland University Campus.

Bonus: Check out Magic of Lights at Pine Knob, and/or go skiing at Mt. Holly!

N: Nature Walk | Detroit

The newly renovated Belle Isle Nature Center is host to many nature walks and a variety of programs for the nature enthusiast of all ages.

Bonus: Head out for some indoor ice skating at the Novi Ice Arena.

O: Opera House | Detroit

Head downtown to enjoy a night at the Opera House to see a variety of performances of all genres. The Opera House also offer tours as well as dance classes.

Bonus: Get outside and enjoy the fresh winter air at Orion Oaks.

P: Plymouth Historical Museum | Plymouth

Step back in time at the Plymouth Historical Museum and enjoy a taste of what it may have been like in the late 19th century. Be sure to visit their enchanted winter wonderland and the many other events they have in the month of December.

Bonus: Check out Pine Knob Ski Resort in Clarkston or the various events in Plymouth, like Plymouth Ice Fest and Main Street Tree Lighting.

Q: QLine | Detroit

What better way to explore downtown Detroit than to hop on the QLine? Park near the Riverwalk and enjoy a stroll along the Detroit River. Get off the QLine at Campus Martius for a stop at Cadillac Lodge and some ice skating. Hop off at Grand Circus to grab a bite at many of the great local eateries. Make a stop at Fox Theater for a show or the arena district to catch a Red Wings or Pistons game. And last up . . . make your way up to the museum district before you end in the North End neighborhoods and make your way back.

Be sure to check the Qline website for their Ride, Scan, Save program to see discounts with partnering businesses on the Qline track!

R: Rolling Hills Sledding Hill | Ypsilanti

Rolling Hills Sledding Hill is a 275-foot long hill that offers inner tube rentals. The top of the hill is 70 feet wide, which allows families to spread out for safe sledding.

Bonus: Head on over to the Riley Park Outdoor Ice Rink in Farmington.

S: Snowfest | Frankenmuth

Head up to Frankenmuth to see over 100 ice sculptures, snow sculpting competitions, fireworks, and so much more! With a variety of shops and dining options, Snowfest is sure to be a fun outing for everyone in the family. Snowfest takes place January 29-Feb 2nd!

Bonus: Have fun sledding at Snowy Ridge Sledding Hill in Commerce.

T: Tunnel of Lights | St. Clair Shores

The Tunnel of Lights held at Blossom Heath Park transforms an everyday park into a holiday light wonderland on December 8th. Throughout the month of December, the park also hosts holiday events and will bring in many food trucks and special performance groups.

Bonus: Celebrate New Year’s Eve in Detroit with The Drop, or check out Troy Historic Village!

U: Under the Lights Tubing | Bloomfield Hills

Light up the night with some tubing under the stars. Not only does Bowers Farm offer tubing, you will also find an ice rink with skate rentals, bonfires, and the farm store. The fun starts January 5th!

Bonus: Take part in the Ugly Sweater Skate at United Skates Lincoln Park on December 6th.

V: Van Hoosen Farm and Museum | Rochester Hills

The historic Van Hoosen Farm comes alive at the holidays and allows visitors to take candlelight walking tours, as well daytime holiday house tours with a stop to view the interactive railroad exhibit.

Bonus: Have fun with the firepits, curling, and sledding at Valade Park in Detroit.

W: Wayne County Lightfest | Westland

Load the family up in the car and take a four mile drive through Hines Park to view 50 animated displayed and over 100,000 lights.

Bonus: Celebrate Black History Month in February at The Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History. Also, go sledding at Waterford Oaks in Waterford!

X: X-Country Skiing | Huron-Clinton Metroparks

Visit nine of the 13 Huron-Clinton Metroparks during the winter months that offer x-country skiing!

Y: YMCA | Metro Detroit

As they say . . . it’s fun to stay at the YMCA. With seven locations in the metro Detroit area, the YMCA has enrichment activities for all ages. You’ll find youth sports, various holiday programming, family enrichment, and indoor swimming.

Bonus: Visit one of the winter farmers market in Ypsilanti.

Z: Zoo Wild Lights | Royal Oak

Visit the zoo after hours to view millions of twinkling lights and see the zoo in a whole new way. With walk-through light tunnels, enchanted forests, and ending the night with a viewing of the Polar Express in the 4D theater . . . this surely will be a night to remember!

Bonus: Plan an overnight trip to Zehnder’s Splash Village.

Looking for more metro Detroit winter activities? Check out our complete list of holiday lights to see this winter!

3 Ways You Can Avoid Family Drama This Holiday Season

jennifer stallings dewey

November 14, 2024

The holidays are quickly approaching. For many of us, that will mean Rockwellian gatherings with family passing potatoes and exchanging warm banter. For others, it will be more like an episode of Jerry Springer, passing judgements and exchanging insults. If your gatherings tend toward the latter, there are a few strategies you can use to avoid family drama this holiday season.

Many families include people with differing religious, political, and/or social views. Undoubtedly, the growing tensions in these areas over the last few years have added fuel to the fire of any already existing differences.

Before getting into these suggestions for how to avoid family drama this holiday season, I want to clarify that this article is not in support of any particular religious, political, and/or social viewpoint. It only seeks to “keep the peace” both in terms of your group dynamic and your personal mental health. So, let’s get started.

1. Leave it at the door.

The first option I ask you to consider is to leave any comments, opinions, etc. that are likely to cause conflict at the door. This is something that can be done in a personal capacity, or agreed to by a group. If you choose the personal route, it is relatively simple. All you have to do is avoid bringing up any topic that is likely to cause conflict. If someone else brings up one of these topics, you can politely change the subject. In a difficult situation, you can always excuse yourself to make a pretend phone call or feign needing to use the restroom.

For the group option, everyone should be notified in advance that certain topics are off-limits. If someone cannot agree to this, they should consider staying home. Some people might find this offensive, but you can’t make an omelet without cracking a few eggs and you can’t have a conflict-free gathering without a little suppressed frustration. In the event a forbidden topic comes up, the group must agree to gracefully move on without any hard feelings.

There are a few drawbacks to this approach; for starters, it requires immense patience and self-control. Additionally, there are certain issues or topics that are less a theoretical debate and more a part of a person’s identity. Something that is a topic of conversation to one person might be an issue that directly impacts someone else or something they feel so passionately about that it is impossible to leave these topics at the door.

2. Set a boundary.

If you are familiar with Dr. Becky, you might know that a boundary is focused on what YOU will do and doesn’t require the other party to do anything. Dr. Becky mostly talks about boundaries in terms of children. Likewise, this principle can be extended to other scenarios like navigating the holidays with family. There are a few steps involved in setting successful boundaries: set a clear boundary, communicate your boundary, and then maintain the boundary.

Here are some examples showing how this process can work:

You want to go to your mother’s for dinner but have to leave at 8:00 p.m. to get your kids to bed.

In order to set this boundary, you make the decision ahead of time to leave at 8:00 p.m. This is regardless of external factors like what other guests are doing, or when dinner is served. You would communicate this to your mother ahead of time and at 8:00 p.m., you would head out.

You are hosting a dinner party for adults only, even though some of the invited guests have kids.

With the invitation, you would clearly articulate that the gathering is for adults only. If someone asked about bringing their kids, you would simply reiterate the boundary.

Like “leaving it at the door,” setting boundaries sometimes requires a lot of patience and self-control. But setting, communicating, and respecting boundaries can help avoid unnecessary conflict. A boundary can come in many varieties and in the case of the holidays, your boundary might even include to not attend an event or not invite someone to your gathering.

3. Give and take.

Both of the suggestions above focus on the scenario where you are the party taking action. But what if you are on the receiving end of a boundary or request to avoid certain topics of conversation? It might feel offensive or like a personal attack.

Keep in mind that someone making a request or setting a boundary likely wants to spend time with you. Simultaneously, they are trying to maintain group or personal peace. Try not to take it personally and decide if honoring their request or boundary is something you can do without compromising your own needs.

Navigating family dynamics can be tricky. A little forethought, planning, and communication can go a long way toward helping you to avoid family drama this holiday season.

Setting boundaries can take some practice. Faten shares how boundary setting is a sure way to stay sane as a mom.

What to Do While You’re Waiting to Adopt

danaabraham

November 13, 2024

For those who have been through (or are in) the process of adopting a baby, you know it can be a lot of “hurry up and wait” while you’re waiting to adopt. It can take from a few months to a few years to receive placement of a baby from the time your home study is approved–and even longer to actually finalize the adoption.

All of that lends itself to one big challenge for prospective adoptive parents: what the heck should you do with yourself while waiting to adopt? After all, a big life change is potentially headed your way, so shouldn’t you prepare?

Our Adoption Story

Our adoption story admittedly is on the faster side. We were thinking the process would take a few years, but in reality, we had placement of our first son within a few months of being approved. That being said, the wait was still agonizing.

Not being pregnant and expecting a child is a strange thing. You know it is coming, but unlike pregnancy, you have no idea when. Birth parents can decide to place their children for adoption as early as a few months into pregnancy–or they can decide to do so after giving birth. That means, my dear friends, that placement can literally happen at the drop of a hat. We literally drove around with the car seat in our car because of this. 😉

Our placement was one of those “drop of a hat” situations. We got an email from our agency asking us to look over a possible placement profile and let them know if we were interested in our profile going to birth mom. Once we said yes, our now-son was living with us full time within two weeks.

What to Do While You Wait

I’ve heard friends who talk about how waiting to adopt feels like an eternity, even if it is just a few months. Similar to those eerily quiet few months leading up to a wedding after intense planning, you’re left with the feeling of, “I should be doing something.” From my own experience, there were many things I’d wished I had done (and a few I did do) in the interim while we were a waiting family . . .

Get educated.

One of the most important things you can do as a prospective adoptive parent is get yourself educated on adoption. Most agencies (if not all) require you to do some training as part of the approval process. Don’t. Stop. There. 30 hours of required training is not enough, my friends.

Adoption is incredibly complex and should take more than 30 hours of your time to learn about. Adoption is not about you as the adoptive parent. It is about your future child(ren), so learn how to best serve them. My favorite resources are Adoption: The Long View (podcast), Adoption Now (podcast), and Before You Adopt (workbook).

Talk about race.

If you are planning to adopt a child of a nationality or race that is different from your own, get comfortable getting uncomfortable. My children are black and my husband and I are white. Race is not a secret in our house and it will never be a dirty word. Their race is a special part of their identity and it is my job to help them learn what that means.

I will never be able to provide all of that as a white woman, but I can get comfortable talking about race, I can ensure I put myself in places where I am the minority, and I can find trusted adults who can help me teach my children about what it means to be black.

I’ve heard it said that in transracial adoption if you are too comfortable, your children are probably uncomfortable. As a friend of mine put it: “Get really good at inviting people over who look like your children.” I read It Takes More than Love: A Christian Guide to Navigating the Complexities of Cross-Cultural Adoption and hope to read What White Parents Should Know about Transracial Adoption: An Adoptee’s Perspective on Its History, Nuances, and Practices soon.

Keep a journal.

Your future kiddos are going to ask you questions later about the time they came home to you. Keep a journal of your feelings, documenting the ways you felt when you were longing for them. I remember vividly sitting in my bed, sobbing waiting to meet a child I had never met. I felt an inexplicable connection for my baby. He was so close, yet so unknown to me at the time–and I don’t have this written down for him to read later. Learn from my regrets!

Prep your home.

For real, child-proofing is key. Though we set out to do domestic infant adoption, we ended up adopting a toddler and a newborn. This was such a gift, but totally unexpected. Because we thought we’d get a baby, we didn’t childproof. Do it now while you have the energy and time. Who knows, a toddler might be coming your way!

Figure out how you want to parent.

Again, because we thought we were going to parent a newborn baby first, we didn’t put much thought into parenting other than where we wanted to fall on the gentle-not gentle spectrum of parenting. Little did we know, there’s a heck of a lot more to it than that. Read, research, and watch your friends now for what you want to copy and what you’d rather not do with your kids.

Go on a vacation.

Many adoptive parents joke that all it takes for you to get matched is to just go on vacation. No, seriously–for many people, they receive phone calls on their vacations or right after! Don’t stop your life because of being a waiting family. Live it to the fullest–take the freaking vacation.

Just be.

Relax, my friends. Just be in the wait and enjoy the ride. That is hard to live out with a huge change around the corner, but do try to enjoy it. Time without kids is sweet time, too, and time that you’ll want to remember. Take all of the afternoon walks after dinner, eat ice cream for dinner (because you’ll have to do that in secret once you have kids), and date your partner. This time will feel like an eternity ago once your babe is in your arms, so soak it in now.

Enjoy the ride!

Adoption is a beautiful and enormously difficult journey for everyone in the adoption triad. Waiting to adopt can be hard, but it is part of the journey. We hope that our experiences (and admitted failures) can encourage you to do–and to just be–in the journey. Your new family member is coming soon and we can’t wait for you to meet them!

Want to read more about adoption? Check out how adoption changed Kimberly’s view of the world here.

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Detroit Mom’s Local Love Spotlight: Sisu Mobile Sauna

Whitney Cornelli

November 10, 2024

Detroit Mom’s Local Love series highlights local women and the businesses they have built. We love supporting small business! Today’s Local Love Spotlight belongs to Katie Moore, owner of Sisu Mobile Sauna.

To start, we asked Katie to share a few fun facts about herself with us!

She is 50% Finnish.
She is a middle child.
She and her husband got engaged on a hot air balloon!

We asked her to share a little bit more about her business with us, too. Get to know Katie and her business, Sisu Mobile Sauna, below!

How did you come up with the idea of your business, and how did you start?

“I’ve always been interested in the idea of starting my own business, though I wasn’t sure what it would look like. In January 2023, I attended a women’s retreat filled with inspiring women embarking on their own entrepreneurial journeys and paths of self-discovery. I left the retreat wondering how I could carve out my own space in this world. Just a few days later, an idea struck me: what if I could bring a sauna to events like the healing and wellness retreat I had just experienced?

“I started researching companies that could build a mobile sauna and quickly realized that this was going to be a significant investment. As a middle-class family still recovering from the pandemic, I wasn’t sure how I would secure the funds needed to make this dream a reality. But I pushed ahead, gathering quotes and reminding myself, “It’s going to happen.”

“By summer 2023, I began looking into small business grants and made a list of organizations to explore. I stumbled upon Michigan Women Forward, which was promoting a business pitch competition open to both established businesses and new ideas.

“Excited yet anxious, I contemplated entering the competition, but my impostor syndrome nearly held me back when I missed the initial deadline. Thankfully, an email announcing an extension arrived just in time, and I seized the opportunity.

“In October 2023, I proudly took first place in the 53 Voices competition. My 53-second video pitch for Sisu Mobile Sauna garnered the most public votes among nine other incredible businesses. I raised the remaining funds through a crowdfunding campaign and purchased my mobile sauna unit in April 2024!”

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting out?

“I don’t think I would have done anything differently, but I would have had more confidence in trusting in the process. I spent a lot of time worrying and second guessing myself–I think it is just all part of the process though.”

What is the best business advice you’ve ever been given?

“Just start. There will never be the perfect time to do anything. Now is the right time to move forward and small steps lead to big results.”

Have you faced adversity in business due to being a woman? How did you navigate that?

“Yes I have. But you can’t take it personally. It has been important for me to have a business coach that can help me navigate these difficult situations. I know that I have a lot to offer and no one can offer the same services that I can. Plus, there is enough business for everyone. I am a strong believer in community over competition.”

How do you persevere in challenging times?

“It’s the entire concept for the business, Sisu Mobile Sauna. “Sisu” is a Finnish term that embodies strength of will, determination, perseverance, and the ability to act rationally in the face of adversity.”

What impact do you want your business to have?

“I want to spread the tradition and health benefits of sauna to our communities. Sauna has so many health benefits including lowering inflammation, detoxification, cardiovascular health, etc. Not to mention the social and community benefits. Everyone needs to sauna!!!”

What are the pros and cons of being a woman business owner in 2024?

“Pros: women are really awakening to our power. There are plenty of empowering women’s circles and groups that are changing the stigma around women in business.

“Con: I don’t really see a con other than just the mental load that comes with motherhood along with managing business ownership and a career.”

What knowledge would you share with someone who wants to become an entrepreneur?

“Just do it!!! Find your people and community that will support you. Do not be surprised if support is not coming from those you expected it from.”

What do you do for personal and professional development?

“I listen to a ton of podcasts, attend networking groups when I can, as well as I completed a local CEO mastermind that rocked my world in the best possible way. I also attend free trainings offered by Michigan Women forward and SCORE.”

What mantra or quote do you live by?

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

What’s your favorite place in Detroit or Michigan?

“Upper Peninsula of Michigan.”

Where can our readers find you on social media?

You can follow Sisu Mobile Sauna on Facebook, Instagram, and on their website!

We hope you loved getting to know more about Katie + Sisu Mobile Sauna. Be sure to check out our previous Local Love Spotlight featuring Nancy + Toots Sweets!

Where to Find Thanksgiving Pies In + Around Detroit

RanaMakki

November 8, 2024

There’s no other dessert synonymous with the Thanksgiving holiday than pie. It’s quintessential. I don’t know about you, but I wait for that after-dinner-pie just as much as I wait for that during-dinner-turkey. I live for that cozy moment of relaxing on the couch with my family post-Thanksgiving dinner, coffee in one hand, and a slice of delicious pie in the other.

It doesn’t matter if that pie was homemade or store-bought. Although my personal philosophy is that there’s already enough to do for that super busy Thanksgiving meal prep, so leave the pie to the professionals. They’re happy to do it, and quite frankly, it’ll probably be more delicious since this is their job.

This opinion comes from years of experience trying to perfect a homemade pie crust. Besides the mess, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. Nope, for Thanksgiving—the pie holiday—I’d much prefer to run out to a local bakery and purchase a perfect pie that I know my family will love.

No matter your favorite pie flavor, if you’re wondering where to find Thanksgiving pies in + around Detroit, here are 10 businesses offering delicious pies for Thanksgiving guaranteed to make you come back for second helpings!

Where to find Thanksgiving pies in + around Detroit:

Achatz Handmade Pies | Multiple Locations

A Michigan bakery favorite for many years! With multiple locations and sold at multiple retailers now, it’s easy to locate these delicious handmade pies. They offer classic as well as modern twists on classic pies, and make pretty much any kind of pie you can imagine. They do pickup orders and will ship online. For Thanksgiving orders, each location has a different pickup day, so be sure to check ahead of time!

For the Love of Sugar | Detroit

My family loves pretty much everything that For the Love of Sugar serves, and their pies are no exception! A modernly whimsical bakery serving both classic and fun flavors, they require pre-orders on Thanksgiving pies and desserts. Pre-orders are available for pick-up during Thanksgiving week.

But they offer more than just classic Thanksgiving pies. They have some whimsical treats in the form of the classics done up—such as sugar cookies shaped like pie pieces, put together to form the sweetest pie!

Grand Traverse Pie Company | Plymouth

While we no longer have to drive all the way to the Grand Traverse Bay for these delicious pies–as they now have locations in Metro Detroit–you can be sure their delicious pie recipes are made just as good as when they first opened in 1996. In fact, their sweet motto is “homegrown in Michigan, handmade in Plymouth” as one unique feature of this bakery is their apple pies are made with apples grown in Michigan! Their apple, pumpkin, and pecan varieties are fall favorites. They encourage pre-orders and can ship to your home as well.

Great Lakes Pot Pies | Clawson

Featured on many local news outlets for their delicious savory pies, they offer pot pies in tons of different flavors—chicken, beef, vegan, vegetarian, and even Thanksgiving in either a pot pie or hand pie form. They also offer Gluten-Free pies as well as vegan options! Their desserts include cookies, pie chips, and classic fall pie flavors such as apple and chocolate pecan.

Kate’s Kitchen | Flat Rock

A family-owned restaurant, they specialize in homemade fruit, cream, and dessert pies and biscuits. An interesting option here is that you can purchase your pie well in advance of Thanksgiving (which they suggest you do) and thaw when you need it. This makes for great meal-prep and planning, and they especially suggest purchasing the Pumpkin Pie in advance, as they do anticipate it selling out quickly!

Lush Yummies | Detroit

Using recipes and techniques she learned from her grandad when they would bake pies together during her childhood, Jennifer, the owner of Lush Yummies, is happy to share all of her family childhood memories and love through her pies with all of her customers.

Her most famous pie is the Lemon Butta Pie, but she also serves seasonal favorites such as her Lemon Butta Salted Caramel Walnut. You can find her at the Eastern Market Holiday Market on November 26 where she will have 300 pies that are available first come, first serve!

Miller’s Orchard Market | Sterling Heights

Baked fresh daily, they have TONS of pie options to choose from! Everything from classic pumpkin, apple, and sweet potato, to rhubarb, mincemeat, and key lime. They also have lots of sugar free options, and a sheet pie (sheet pan size) option available as well! They require 24 hours advance notice for all pie orders. Personally, for my large family, I’m looking at their half sheet pan size!

Sister Pie | Detroit

Offering modern flavors on classic Thanksgiving pies such as Apple Butter Custard and Cranberry Crumble, Sister Pie does highly encourage pre-orders to guarantee a pie. In fact, their pre-orders for 2024 on Thanksgiving pies are already on their way to being sold out. However, they offer tons of other flavored pies, as well as specialty Thanksgiving cookies!

So Delish | Livonia

Offering tons of pie options, including sheet pies perfect for large family gatherings! They have many seasonal as well as classic flavors, and are always cooking up new flavors.

Sweet Potato Sensations | Detroit

The cutest Thanksgiving dinner story—this family-owned bakery came to fruition in 1976 after the owner created sweet potato cookies for her husband following a compromise between the couple when he wanted candied yams on their Thanksgiving table and she didn’t care for them. Today they serve tons of sweet potato dessert options—including multiple unique variations on the classic Sweet Potato Pie—such as the sweet potato cookie, which is guaranteed to satisfy any sweet potato lover like the original owners. The one speaking to me personally is the Sweet Potato Coconut Pie! Available for pickup orders beginning November 14th.

Looking for a business to support for Thanksgiving? Check out our list of businesses offering Thanksgiving to-go in + around Detroit!

Our Favorite Businesses Offering Thanksgiving To-Go In + Around Detroit

Laura Herr

November 6, 2024

Fall weather is here, and it’s time to start planning for Thanksgiving. Whether you are hosting or attending, there’s so much to think about! If the thought of trussing a turkey and making a million sides so your children can eat a dinner roll and some whipped cream has you running away in fear, there are Thanksgiving to-go and carryout options in + around Detroit.

Here are the facts: Your appliances have been running non-stop. You’ve cooked endless meals for your family. The grocery stores are already a mess and avoiding them is a genius idea. There’s only so much turkey one person can eat. Need I go on?

This Thanksgiving, consider skipping the planning and execution and leave all the hard work to the professionals. Plus, you’re supporting some wonderful locally-owned restaurants this holiday season. Whether you’re serving two or twenty, these Detroit area restaurants have put together traditional Thanksgiving meals to-go so all you have to worry about is enjoying your meal!

Where To Find Thanksgiving To-Go In + Around Detroit

Andiamo | Various Locations

Online ordering is available. Choose from a full family dinner for 4-6 people or a larger 12-15 person dinner. Both include a roast-ready turkey and all the traditional sides. Order deadline is November 13th.

Bad Brads | Various Locations

Order your smoked turkey by the pound. Order deadline is November 23rd.

Bob Evans | Various Locations

Starting at $13.95 a person, they offer four different packages depending on what you would like with your dinner.

Bubba’s BBQ and Catering | New Baltimore

With family feasts, individual meals, and à la carte options, Bubba’s has many options for your dinner needs. Order deadline is November 21st.

Chive Kitchen | Farmington

From beverages, to cakes, to vegan options, to your traditional Thanksgiving dishes . . . Chive has it all for you!

Ernie’s | Clinton Township

Dinners are being offered as an “individual complete” meal which includes turkey, side dishes, and dessert for $40. Be sure to call to place your order ahead of time! Order deadline is November 25th.

Full Rack BBQ | St. Clair Shores

Meats and side are ordered à la carte and feed approximately 15 people. Order deadline is November 24th.

Holiday Market I Birmingham + Royal Oak

Complete meal packages available, as well as oven-ready or smoked turkeys. Order deadline is November 23rd at 4:00 p.m.

J-Bird Smoked Meats | Keego Harbor

J-Bird is offering meats, sides, and sweets! Check out their menu and be sure to order soon. Order deadline is November 23rd.

Knights Steakhouse | Ann Arbor

With a two-person dinner for only $70, this is one of the most cost effective options we have seen. The key lime pie and Kentucky bourbon pecan pie look AMAZING!

Kristina’s Catering | Shelby Township

Kristina’s is a go-to for large scale parties. She offers different holiday menus through January 31st.

Lazybones BBQ | Roseville

With cold and ready-to-reheat, hot and ready, and à la carte options, there are so many to chose from. Order deadline is November 24th.

Marrow | Detroit

All items are à la carte. You can order everything, even down to the turkey stock!

Riley’s Catering | Pontiac

Riley’s offers a Thanksgiving meal for parties of up to 20 people. You can choose two meats, three side dishes, and one dessert. Order deadline is November 20th.

San Morello | Detroit

San Morello is offering both dine-in and carry out Thanksgiving dinner options.

Spacecat V-stro | Ferndale

Spacecat is a popular vegetarian restaurant with the most delicious food. Check out their “Thanksgiving Celebration Box” which features a vegan meal for one person, or two people; both include dessert! Cost is between $45-$80 and you’ll choose a pickup time at checkout. Order deadline is November 20th.

Stage Deli | West Bloomfield

Stage Deli is offering a fully prepared meal kit for eight people for $325, with optional add-ons. Their dessert selections are incredible! Online ordering is now available. Order deadline is November 24th.

The Silver Shamrocks | Oakland Township

Their “complete Thanksgiving feast” serves 6-10 people for $375. They also offer an à la carte menu. Order deadline is November 21st.

Slows BBQ | Detroit

Straight off the pit . . . everything you need to feed your party of 6-8 for $199.

Vintage House | Fraser

This dinner comes with ham and turkey, so there is no need to choose! The dinner for 10 runs $395 and dinner for five is $225. Order deadline is November 25th.

Woodpile BBQ Shack | Clawson + Madison Heights

Woodpile is offering a complete meal for 6-8 people for $150, or just the meat (beef brisket or turkey). They update their website regularly to let you know how many turkeys they have available, but order soon!

Zingerman’s Delicatessen | Ann Arbor

Complete feast, whole turkeys, and individual meals available. Order deadline is November 24th by 2:00 p.m.

If you’re looking to volunteer your time this Thanksgiving, we rounded up many places looking for help!

*This post was originally written by Katie Purcell and updated in 2024 by Laura Herr.

Detroit Mom’s Local Love Spotlight: Toots Sweets

Whitney Cornelli

November 3, 2024

Detroit Mom’s Local Love series highlights local women and the businesses they have built. We love supporting small businesses! Today’s Local Love Spotlight belongs to Nancy Goliver, owner of Toots Sweets.

To start, we asked Nancy to share a few fun facts about herself with us!

She has a husband and two beautiful children.
Fall is her season–she lives for a nice cool breeze and sweatshirt weather.
Whether through laughter or yummy treats, she loves bringing a smile to people’s faces!

We asked her to share a little bit more about her business with us, too. Get to know Nancy and her business, Toots Sweets, below!

How did you come up with the idea of your business, and how did you start?

“My corporate career was focused on creating digital experiences for large brands. Being creative through the eyes of others can be draining; I needed something for me. I’ve loved baking since childhood. When I discovered the world of cookie decorating it was a perfect hands-on hobby to keep my creativity alive!

“Once I began decorating cookies for friends and co-workers, I was encouraged to start selling my creations. I resisted for quite some time. In March of 2020, my corporate job hosted a female vendor event for International Women’s Day and I was asked to join. I had never sold a cookie before. I was excruciatingly slow at decorating and wasn’t sure how to pull this all off in less than two weeks. I didn’t even have a business name!

“I jumped right in, created a brand, baked and decorated cookies, and set up a booth. My cookies were completely gone within hours. I was feeling on top of the world. That summer, a dear friend asked me to bake for her daughter’s first birthday. Word spread quickly and Toots Sweets has been making the world sweeter ever since.”

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting out?

“By saying “No”, you protect your “Yes”. I can’t please everyone and I don’t need to. Baking and decorating is a manual process for me. Learning boundaries was challenging and I wish I was comfortable [with] saying no much earlier in my journey.”

What is the best business advice you’ve ever been given?

“Do the dang thing! Everything is scary the first time you try it. We learn through experience and it’s how we become comfortable and confident. You don’t have to wait until it’s perfect, just start!”

Have you faced adversity in business due to being a woman? How did you navigate that?

“I like to turn doubt into determination. I wouldn’t say it’s because I’m a woman, but the comments I hear about “making this cookie thing work” only motivate me to push harder. I was able to leave my corporate job and am grateful my business has continued to grow.”

How do you persevere in challenging times?

“Rest and reflection are built into my process. Creativity doesn’t come from burn out. I have learned that the calm contributes just as much to my business as the hustle when you use it strategically.”

What impact do you want your business to have?

“I hope that my creations bring joy to every celebration I am fortunate to bake for.”

What are the pros and cons of being a woman business owner in 2024?

“I own my time, I determine my schedule, I live the way that is fulfilling to me. It’s difficult to say “no”, it’s difficult to hear “no”, but I have to protect my boundaries.”

What knowledge would you share with someone who wants to become an entrepreneur?

“It’s not easy, but it’s so worth it!”

What do you do for personal and professional development?

“I have a network of bakers both here in Michigan and across the globe that constantly support and encourage one another. When I’m in the kitchen I’m always listening to books, music, and podcasts. Sometimes for pure enjoyment, sometimes for creative inspiration, and sometimes for personal/business growth.”

What mantra or quote do you live by?

“Be 1% better than the day before.”

What’s your favorite place in Detroit or Michigan?

“Lake Michigan is my escape, my happy place.”

Where can our readers find you on social media?

You can follow Toots Sweets on Facebook, Instagram, and on their website!

We hope you loved getting to know more about Nancy + Toots Sweets. Be sure to check out our previous Local Love Spotlight featuring Brooke + Brooke Rozzie Coaching!

No More Mom Guilt–You Deserve to Take a Time-Out

fotinicallis

November 2, 2024

As a mom, I often find myself knee-deep in a whirlwind of responsibilities. From keeping my house presentable to caring for my kids and tackling the never-ending laundry, I sometimes feel like I’m juggling plates! And let’s not even discuss my appearance—heaven forbid I show up anywhere looking like I just rolled out of bed, thanks to those influencers!

Like many moms, I often found myself struggling with feelings of inadequacy and the pressure to be the perfect parent. I noticed that these feelings were common among my friend and colleagues, sparking conversations about the daily challenges we face. My journey with mom guilt has been a roller coaster ride. I’ve felt it in moments of doubt, such as when I have had to prioritize work over my family or when I can’t attend every hockey practice or game. Each instance prompted me to reflect on what it means to be a good mother. Spoiler alert: it’s not always perfect.

The Struggle of Mom Guilt

My to-do list seems to grow endlessly, and the pressure to keep it all together makes any mom feel like she’s starring in the movie Groundhog Day. One of the hardest things for moms is the guilt that comes with wanting to take a break. Why do we feel like we need a permission slip to put our feet up? It’s as if our inner critic constantly reminds us that taking a moment for ourselves means we’re slacking off.

I recently listened to a podcast that hit home: working moms not only clock in for a full-time job, but also come home to a second shift of stay-at-home mom duties. It’s certainly not the BOGO deal I asked for! It brought to light how I juggle my professional responsibilities during the day, only to come home to another full-time role as a homemaker and caretaker.

For me, this means transitioning from the classroom to managing dinner, homework, being a taxi drive for sports, and family time, often feeling like I’m being stretched in multiple directions. I find myself questioning if I’m doing enough in both roles, and the podcast reinforced the idea that this struggle is not just mine.

The Temptation to Overcommit

It’s no wonder that when we finally have a free moment, we feel the overwhelming urge to fill it. “Oh, I have a slot available! Let me just schedule a dentist appointment, a school committee meeting, and a birthday party for a child I don’t even know!” We turn into overzealous event planners, but we’re really just planning our own burnout. The fear of missing out on opportunities or disappointing others can drive us to over-commit, even to activities that don’t truly enrich our lives. However, if we resist this urge to over-schedule ourselves, we might discover the transformative power of downtime.

Embracing those moments of stillness–and silence–can lead to greater self-reflection and ultimately a deeper connection with ourselves and our families. Instead of rushing to fill the calendar, we should be prioritizing rest and rejuvenation, allowing us to show up as our best selves, both at work and at home. This perspective can lead to a more balanced life, where we find joy in the simple moments instead of being consumed by the pressure of being Instagram perfect and feeling the pressure of mom guilt.

Moms Deserve to Take a Time-Out

But here’s the thing: moms deserve to chill out! It’s time to stop feeling guilty for wanting to kick back and enjoy a few episodes of our favorite show. A well-rested mom can be more productive and enjoyable to be around! So, let’s give ourselves a time-out–even if it means stepping away from our never-ending to-do lists.

In my own journey toward ditching the mom guilt and finding that much-needed balance, I’ve implemented several strategies to carve out time for rest and relaxation. One of the first steps I took was purchasing a Skylight calendar, which allows me to see all of our family activities at a glance. This has helped me avoid overbooking ourselves and has given me the freedom to say “No” to commitments that don’t serve my well-being.

I’ve also embraced meal prepping for lunch each day. This simple change lets me savor a warm cup of coffee while I take a moment for myself instead of rushing through breakfast. Utilizing my slow cooker has been another game-changer, freeing up time in the evenings when I’d typically be scrambling to make dinner.

I’ve also prioritized working out as a vital part of my self-care routine. Exercise is a fantastic outlet for managing my anxiety and helps me feel more centered and energetic throughout the day.

I encourage other moms to find their own “time-out” moments—whether that means taking a long bath, reading a book, or simply enjoying some quiet time with a cup of tea. Remember, stepping away from daily tasks isn’t selfish; it’s essential for our well-being. So, let’s empower each other to embrace those moments of rest, reminding ourselves that taking time for ourselves ultimately benefits our families, too.

The Importance of Self-Care

Remember, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential! Let’s put our feet up, sip on that cup of coffee or wine, and embrace the chaos that comes with motherhood. After all, if we don’t take the time to recharge, how can we expect to tackle the next challenge that comes our way?

Feeling inspired to flip the script on mom guilt? Stacy shares why it’s so important to remember that self-care is NOT selfish.

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