Local Gift Guide for Ramadan and Eid

April 1, 2024

Ramadan and Eid are special times of the year for Muslims. Ramadan is a deeply spiritual month in which giving and sharing are more rewarding than they are in any other month of the Muslim lunar calendar. And at the end of that month, Muslims observe Eid—a holiday of celebration and joy. It’s when gifts and goodies are exchanged with loved ones and friends.

Whether you are a Muslim or have a Muslim friend, we have gathered up some great local, women-owned businesses with suggestions for your Ramadan and Eid shopping.

Barakah Boutique | Canton

Barakah Boutique is the first Islamic lifestyle boutique in Canton. They carry a curated and inspiring collection of faith-based products including modern home décor, Islamic books for children and adults, toys and games, planners and notebooks, cards, Halal candy, and more. It is your one-stop boutique for all Islamic needs. Find them on Instagram @thebarakahboutique.

Some gift ideas include:

Notebooks for notetaking and journaling: Barakah Boutique carries a range of contemporary notebooks for everyday note-taking, journaling ideas, and memories. They make a thoughtful gift, too. All notebooks are made in Britain and with FSC certified paper.
Ramadan Around the World children’s book: This book, written by Ndaa Hassan, is one of Barakah Boutique’s best sellers. Ramadan Around the World showcases various Muslim cultures across the globe and how they celebrate the month of Ramadan. This book is a fun and adventurous read for children and a useful educational tool for educators as well.
Ramadan Countdown Calendar: The countdown calendar is designed for kids to enjoy each day during the month of Ramadan. It includes 30 segments to add a daily treat along with a good deed reminder (such as praying, donating, saying thank you, etc.). The calendar is reusable and makes a great décor piece as well.

Bateel | Online

Dates are a huge Ramadan staple. Bateel sells speciality boxed dates! They’re stuffed with all different kinds of flavors and fillings, are delicious, and truly feel like a luxe gift–they’re boxed beautifully as well.

Dermy Doc Box | Online

Dermy Doc Box is a seasonal subscription skincare box curated by a board-certified dermatologist, Dr. Fatima Fahs, aka Dermy Doctor®, with the goal of bringing an affordable assortment of dermatologist-curated, hand-selected skincare products directly to your door for a fraction of the price. What an awesome gift to pamper a special mama, sister, or friend by signing them up to receive this subscription!

Fun fact: Dr. Fahs is a Mama-dermatologist that practices in Grosse Pointe and Canton at Hamzavi Dermatology. Find them on Instagram at @dermydocbox.

For the Love of Sugar | Detroit

This is the cutest dessert shop! For the Love of Sugar has tons of tasty, fun desserts. And, the owner is a Muslim woman! Her Middle Eastern roots are present in everything she makes. You’re sure to find just what you’re looking for here!

Gateaux Patisserie | Dearborn

Gateaux Patisserie is known for their sweets, desserts, macarons, and cakes. Literally every single thing they sell is so pretty, and packaged beautifully! Whatever you choose, it will absolutely be a memorable gift (for yourself, or a loved one!). They also have Ramadan hours, staying open until midnight or 1:00 a.m. depending on the day of the week.

Heights Kitchenware | Dearborn Heights

Heights Kitchenware has tons of Islamic Ramadan and Eid decor and gifts. One of our contributors, Rana, even got a few for her own house from here!

Jewels of Lara | Livonia

Though they specialize in bridal jewelry, you will find a large selection of Islamic jewels and Middle Eastern pieces here as well. Three generations of women are behind this business–so you know you’ll be supporting a local, women-owned business when you shop. Their pieces are simply gorgeous!

Modish Hijab | Dearborn Heights

Modish Hijab is another great place to check out if you are looking for items like Islamic clothing or hijabs. On their website, you can shop by color. You’ll also find matching sets.

Narenj Chocolate | West Bloomfield

These are literally the best handmade chocolates that Rana, one of our contributors, has ever had. The specialty here is a Middle Eastern cotton candy stuffed chocolate!

SheMadeArt | Online

Shéma is a local artist based in the Detroit area. She paints and creates Islamic calligraphy paintings with a modern abstract look. You can contact her directly for custom work. A personalized painting created by a local artist would be a perfect Eid gift to share with your loved ones. Better yet, why not treat yourself with one of Shéma’s pieces this year, mama? Find her on Instagram at @shemadeart.

Ummati Crafts |Online

Ummati Crafts is a Warren-based Etsy business that specializes in super cute Islamic décor and gifts. They offer Islamic printables and more. Find them on Instagram at @ummaticrafts.

We hope you consider these amazing local businesses for any gifts you intend on buying this Ramadan and Eid. Let’s support local, women-owned businesses and make this Ramadan and Eid an occasion to celebrate the talented and diverse entrepreneurs our city has to offer. Have a great Ramadan and Eid!

Looking to learn more about Ramadan or for a good place to start teaching your children about it? Check out What My Daughter Would Tell Friends About Ramadan.

I’m a Working Mom by Choice

stacybrooks

March 30, 2024

I could be a stay-at-home mom. But I’m not. I’m not a monster. I’m just a mom, who chooses to go to work instead of being at home with my kids. But, this wasn’t always the case. I didn’t always have this option. In fact, for a long time, I made as much money as my husband and I carried our health insurance. It was a necessity that I was a working mom. I was partially responsible for keeping a roof over our head so I couldn’t stay home, even if I wanted to.

I got a taste of being a stay-at-home mom during the COVID-19 pandemic. It was great for a few weeks but after a few months, I was depressed and overwhelmed. It was painful to be home for so long and I was climbing the walls to go back to work.

Since 2008, I have worked in public education. First as a teacher, now as a school counselor. I crave being around people. I need routine, structure, and a reason to get out of my leggings and slippers for the day. The lack of schedule and interaction with people other than those I was related to really started to affect my mental health.

Game Changer

I never really thought too much about being a stay-at-home mom because it was never an option. Then, almost four years ago, our lives changed forever. In the fall of 2020 I got home from running errands and I saw my husband unpacking his work van that he had driven for the past seven years. He gleefully told me he quit his job (his really stable, well-paying job) and was starting his own business.

This didn’t come out of left field. It was something we had talked about and mulled over, but I wasn’t really expecting him to pull the trigger. Well, he did. He also took a 30% pay cut and drastically increased his hours which caused a lot of emotional and financial stress on our family. But that is a whole other story.

Fast forward to 2024: after countless late nights, missed engagements, and lots of arguments over money, time, and priorities, my income which we always relied on is now used mainly for entertainment purposes (traveling, kids’ sports, etc.). My husband’s hard work has paid off and we are very fortunate. I never really thought I would have the choice to stay home, and now that I do, I have decided I am going to keep working.

Before you judge me, there are lots of reasons why I have made this choice:

Ages + Stages

My children are almost school-aged. My kids are five and seven. They will both be in school full time next year. What would I do with myself all day if I wasn’t a working mom? There is only so much cleaning, organizing, and volunteering at school you can do. And eventually, your children get to an age where they don’t want you at school all the time.

If we would have been in this situation a few years ago when they were younger, I probably would have jumped at the opportunity to stay home with them while they were little. Fortunately, while we are at work, my children have been able to spend lots of time with grandparents and our amazing nanny who has become a huge part of their lives.

Girl Power

I am the mom to two daughters. When they are grown, most likely they are going to have to enter the workforce. Most families are dual income partners with kids. The cost of living is too high to have one parent stay home. I think it is important for them to see mom has a career and works just as hard as dad. I want them to be able to provide for their families if they need to.

Having a Financial Voice

While I pay all of the bills (physically) in our house, most of the money that pays those bills is made by my husband. While he has never made me feel less than for not being on an equal playing field monetarily, I feel that because I am contributing to our family financially, I have a voice when it comes to money. I never have to ask for money or get an “allowance” like some wives do because I make money too. There is never “your money” or “my money”; it is all “our money.”

More Financial Stability

While my husband’s income alone can cover our bills and then some, by me being a working mom, this has allowed us to travel more, invest in our retirement, and contribute to our kids’ college accounts on a more consistent basis.

Several years ago, we were the definition of paycheck to paycheck. Making it, but barely. All of our bills were always paid, we lived in a nice house, and drove reliable cars, but there was never anything left over. If we wanted to treat ourselves to a nice dinner or a vacation, it was usually put on a credit card. This led to bad habits when it came to credit card usage.

Working Makes Me a Better Parent

While I might see my children less than if I was a stay-at-home mom, the time we spend together is quality time. I also really enjoy my job. It gives me fulfillment and purpose that I wouldn’t get if I wasn’t a working mom. Because I work for a local school district, I am always home in the evenings, on weekends, and during holiday breaks from school. It truly is the best of both worlds.

And . . . a Back-Up Plan

Finally, the final reason I am going to continue to work is because you never know what the future holds. Our world is full of uncertainty and I realize our situation could change over night. My husband is self-employed. With being self-employed, there is a always an air of unpredictability. If I continue to work, I know that no matter what happens, there will always be money coming in. Also, while retirement seems so far away, it’s really not. The longer I continue to work in public education, the greater my pension will be.

While I think being a stay-at-home parent is the hardest job on the planet, I have realized that it is not for me. I am a much better person, wife, and parent if I am working outside the home. While I may not be with my children every moment, the moments we are together truly matter. I never miss the big stuff and I can contribute to my family in a way that improves all of our lives for the better, and to me, this is the best of both worlds.

It can be tough to maintain a work/life balance while parenting. Fotini shares a look at what being a working mom is like for her!

Prenatal Vitamins, Family Planning, + When to See a Specialist

Whitney Cornelli

March 26, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The following post is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about fertility or infertility.

You’re ready to start a family–yay! There are so many things to think about when it comes to this phase of life. It’s such an exciting time, often filled with dreams of what could be. And while we know every person’s journey looks different, it’s important to remember that when it comes to the unknowns, chances are, you’re not the only one who has some questions about what to expect.

When it comes to questions about starting a family, our friends from Michigan Center for Fertility and Women’s Health are here to support you. You might have caught their Fertility Friday series over on our IG page–quick videos to answer common questions and provide information. Below, you’ll find some common questions they’ve answered for our community about prenatal vitamins, family planning, and how to know when it’s time to see a specialist.

How do I choose the prenatal vitamin that’s right for me?

A lot of patients have questions about prenatal vitamins: which is the best option? Which is the best type? When should I start taking them? Generally, we recommend starting prenatal vitamins as soon as you begin the process of attempting to try to conceive.

There are a few variations in prenatal vitamins, but we think it’s best to take one that’s designed to be taken before AND during pregnancy. This way, you won’t have to switch prenatals when you become pregnant. And, you’ll want to find prenatal vitamins that include folic acid and DHA, which is really important for some of the developmental steps when you get pregnant.

As for cost? Well, some prenatals are available over the counter, and others as a prescription. Prescription prenatals can get costly at times. It all comes down to what will be cost effective for you!

One thing to remember too about prenatal vitamins is that every person’s situation is different. Prenatals come in different sizes, tastes, costs, etc. You definitely want to make sure you find something that’s tolerable to take–you don’t want to be feeling nauseous after taking. It’s great to talk to your doctor about anything that seems to be of issue for you!

What family planning factors do I need to keep in mind?

When it comes to discussing fertility options, the goal is usually to have a baby. But there’s so much more to consider about family planning. If you’re seeking out fertility resources, you might be trying for the first time. Or, you may already have a child. It’s important to keep in mind where you are right now in terms of your fertility potential, your egg supply, and your hormones. Let’s dive into this a little bit more.

You might want to consider this question: in a perfect world, how many children would you like to have? If you’re in your early 20s and you want to have a few children, you have some time and may be able to take some less aggressive routes on your journey. But if you’re in your mid-30s, you may need to take a more aggressive route at the start (like IVF) in the event that the less aggressive route has less of a chance of being successful.

It’s all about mapping out a plan not only for the immediate future, but also looking ahead and trying to achieve the overall long term goal that you desire. It’s also important to remember that it’s not a guarantee, and things don’t always go 100%. But starting with a clear idea in mind is the way to go. Because while yes, you may start fertility treatments with the hope for a baby now–it’s important to look ahead to the future and plan proactively to help reach your ultimate goal.

How do I know when I need to see a specialist?

There are so many people who question themselves or don’t know exactly what their time frame is for seeking out support from a specialist, or even just asking their OBGYN for a little more information. Generally, we recommend seeking out additional support if you are:

under the age of 35 and have been trying to get pregnant for one year
over the age of 35 and have been trying to get pregnant for six months
40 or older and have been trying to get pregnant

However, there are special circumstances that may lead you to seek out support outside of the parameters mentioned above. For example, if you’re having very irregular cycles, a known history of endometriosis, or if your male partner had an abnormal evaluation or semen analysis, you may want to look into other options.

Here’s the most important thing, though: if you have a question, if you have a thought about your fertility, if you’re not sure or confident if something might be right, please have a conversation with your medical provider, OBGYN, or family doctor. Often, they can help guide you in terms of whether or not they think it’s appropriate to see a fertility specialist or not.

Oh, and sometimes, people are simply curious about their fertility potential or may have an underlying feeling that something might be off. If that’s you, you can absolutely make an appointment to get a basic workup to see where you stand, even if just for general knowledge or reassurance!

We know it isn’t always as simple as taking a prenatal vitamin and getting that positive pregnancy test. There’s so many things that happen in between. If you’re navigating infertility or pregnancy after loss, we encourage you to seek out support.

We are honored to share the stories of local women navigating fertility treatment. Read what Breonna shares about her journey with infertility.

Irish Decor for Your Home Museum

anniegallagher

March 25, 2024

While growing up, my parents modeled a great love for our Irish background. Being Irish is something that I was instilled to be proud of beyond St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. But even though both of my parents came from heavy Irish roots, my maiden name paired with another region of my father’s and my heritage.

So, you can only imagine the joy I had when I met (and fell in love with) a GALLAGHER. It was the first time that I dated somebody where I felt like the name I would possibly take as my own actually fit my identity. Spoiler alert . . . I married this lad, and we started our own little Irish clan.

As my husband and I furnished our home, it was natural for us to visually represent parts of our common roots.

Symbol Art

Let’s start with the well-known three- and four-leaf clovers that we have sprinkled throughout our own home museum. To us, these are not just symbols of decor during the month of March; they are a constant reminder of the beliefs that Saint Patrick brought to the land of Ireland. We have several clovers that have been passed down to us through generations. To imagine the wishes and prayers that were held in the presence of these clovers is irreplaceable.

Another wonderful Irish emblem is the Celtic knot. This symbol of eternity is a beautiful representation for any Irish family. On our wedding day, my husband and I each held a string and tied them together to form a Celtic knot. This exact knot still hangs in our bedroom to remind us of the eternal commitment and connection to our heritage that has helped form our family.

Name Art

Name decorations can have a place within a home, but I encourage you to be more subtle with this design style. Think outside the box as to how you incorporate this message within your home.

While researching Ireland’s history, I learned about an old writing system called Ogham. This Early Medieval alphabet uses intersecting lines that beautifully illustrate a word, name, or phrase. I commissioned to have a piece of my oldest child’s name written in this script to be displayed on a main wall within our home. It is a constant reminder of his beautiful Irish name that stems from our strong Irish roots.

Origin Art

Giving our children Irish names was inevitable. As we learned more about the origin of their names, we were enlightened to find the roots of our family surname. And once again, a desire to visually represent the origin of the Gallagher name within our home became a must! The Gallagher name is forever nestled on the beaches of County Donegal. We are a water-loving family. Representing this location in our home museum is a reminder that our preferences connect to our family origin.

Saying Art

Using familial touches can be a simple, yet impactful way to incorporate unique art within your home. Of course, anyone can search and pay for something that already exists. But, you can also create your own art. My mom once wrote the following in a St. Patrick’s Day card to us: “may the most you wish for be the least you get.” This Irish proverb needed a forever place in our home. My mom rewrote it; I framed it. Simple. Cheap. Beyond meaningful!

My task for you is to pinpoint what stands out to your family as it relates to your heritage. Then, represent these important components within your own home museum.

Heritage art can include so many things: a symbol, like a clover or Celtic knot; an image of your family’s location of origin; names or phrases displayed in old scripts or other languages; or quotes or sayings handwritten by loved ones

Happy decorating! Can’t wait to see what you create.

March is Irish American Heritage Month. Molly reflects on the Irish folk songs she grew up with and now shares with her own children!

Meet The Local Authors You’ll Find In + Around Detroit!

Detroit Mom

March 24, 2024

It’s so easy to get lost inside a book and find yourself in another world. It’s one of the reasons books are so amazing! Even more amazing than the books, however, are the authors who put pen to paper and bring their ideas to life. And right here in the Detroit area, there’s no shortage of local authors to support.

Since March is Reading Month, we thought this would be the perfect opportunity to show some love to some Michigan authors. The ones who followed their dreams, mastered their craft, worked tirelessly on draft after draft, and who proudly share their words with us, every time we open one of their books.

Whether you’re looking for a new book to read, a new genre to dive into, or just a new local author to support, you’ll find it on our list. We’re so excited to introduce you to these amazing local authors in + around Detroit. Who knows, you might even find someone from your hometown!

Local Authors In + Around Detroit

Books for Children + Teens

Caroline Kerfoot

Caroline lives in West Bloomfield. Her debut children’s book series, Hi, I’m Fox!, which she wrote and illustrated, celebrates kindness, friendship, and inclusion. With the help of some new animal friends, Fox (her dog) overcomes many obstacles to find her family.

Cindy Williams Schrauben

Cindy’s first children’s book, This Could Be You, shows children all the amazing careers that lay ahead of them. It’s a lovely book filled with positive messages, encouraging every child to dream big. Cindy currently resides in Mount Pleasant.

Eman Saleh

Eman’s diverse characters can be seen in her very first picture book, The Great Labne Trade. In this, we see a young Arab boy learn to embrace his heritage. Eman currently lives in metro Detroit where she operates an early childhood education center.

Kimberly Wyman

An author-illustrator, Kimberly’s books are whimsical treats. Grow Love follows arctic animals as they all find ways to fill their hearts. You are my baby. I am your mommy. is an amazing book for families who have gone through or are currently going through the adoption process. Kimberly lives in Royal Oak.

Lindsay Gizicki

An author from St. Clair Shores, Lindsay’s children’s books To the Moon and Back and The Pirate Doctor arrived in 2022. To the Moon and Back is a rhyming bedtime story about the depth of a mother’s love. The Pirate Doctor, a picture book, follows a brave little girl on her quest to heal pirates in need. In 2023, Lindsay published her third book called The Guardians of the Garden.

Maria Dismondy

Maria Dismondy is from southeast Michigan. She’s an author and the founder of Cardinal Rule Press, a children’s book publisher located in Wixom. Maria’s writing career started in 2008 when she published her first book, Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun.

Monica Hammerick

An elementary teacher living in southeastern Michigan, Monica’s debut book, The Give Back Sack, is about the true meaning of Christmas. Along with a copy of the book, there are also hand sewn drawstring sacks you can buy to get your family in the giving spirit for the holidays.

Rebecca Mix

Rebecca is a New York Times bestselling author living in Royal Oak. Her debut novel, The Ones We Burn, is a young adult fiction story about witches at war. Her next book, The Ghostwing’s Lie, will arrive in October of 2024.

Renee Bolla

Renee is from Birmingham. Her picture books Finding Bunny and Imagine That! are out now. Finding Bunny is about a young girl and her favorite stuffed animal. Imagine That! follows a little girl who is afraid of the dark, and how she overcomes her overactive imagination to get to sleep. Renee will be launching her third book this year called, The Truth About Stepmoms.

Shelley Johannes

Shelley is an author from Royal Oak who writes and illustrates gorgeous picture books and chapter books. Shelley’s books include the Beatrice Zinker, Upside Down Thinker chapter book series, and her picture books, More Than Sunny and This Joy! Shelley lives in Clinton Township.

Shona Darin

Shona was born in Manchester, England, but now lives in Royal Oak. She has two board books, If I Could… Be A Pet! and If I Lived… On a Farm! In these books, a child explores what it would be like to be various pets or farm animals. He learns in the end that there’s nothing quite as special as who you already are.

Suzanne Jacobs Lipshaw

Located in Waterford, Suzanne’s picture books are based on true stories! Her debut book, I Campaigned for Ice Cream: A Boy’s Quest for Ice Cream Trucks, is about a little boy who fights an outdated law banning ice cream trucks from his city. In Mighty Mahi, we follow a wounded sea turtle as she makes her way back to the ocean with some help from some human friends.

Books for Adults

Bonnie Jo Campbell

Bonnie currently lives in Comstock. Her novels include American Salvage, Q Road, and Once Upon a River. Michigan is the backdrop and inspiration for all of these amazing works. Once Upon a River follows a wild, 16-year-old girl who travels through rural Michigan on a journey of self-preservation.

Erin Bartels

Living in Lansing, Erin is an award-winning author of a handful of books including The Words Between Us and The Girl Who Could Breathe Under Water. All of Erin’s books are beautifully written with soulful characters that give you many different perspectives and leave you wanting more.

J.L. Hyde

A Central Michigan University graduate, J.L. Hyde is an indie author of seven murder mystery novels. Raised in the Upper Peninsula, Hyde recently moved back to Michigan and released her latest book, Secrets of Grady (Grady Lake Mystery Series Book 2).

John Grogan

The author behind the tear-jerker Marley and Me. John Grogan, like so many authors on our list, attended Central Michigan University (fun fact, in the movie, Jennifer Aniston even wears some CMU gear!). John also penned a national bestselling memoir named The Longest Trip Home.

Josh Malerman

Josh started writing his first novel while being the singer/songwriter of the Detroit rock band The High Strung. His debut book, Bird Box (yes, the inspiration behind the hit Netflix movie!), is a horror-filled version of a world unraveled.

Monique Asher

Monique’s debut novel will be available in summer 2024! She is a horror writer who truly loves all things scary, and she makes a point to incorporate those elements into her writing. She also hosts a podcast with her sister!

Rose Wellman

Rose is an anthropologist and author. In her book, Feeding Iran: Shi’i Families and the Making of the Islamic Republic, Rose examines the state of Basiji families post-1979 Revolution. Rose is currently overseeing research in Michigan’s Arab community with her students.

Sara Rian

Sara lives in Metro Detroit and writes poetry. She is a mental health professional and she uses writing as her way to process emotions.

Terry McMillan

A New York Times Best Seller, you may know her for the author behind the book that inspired the movie How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Born and raised in Port Huron, Terry’s recent book, It’s Not All Downhill From Here, is about finding joy in the later years of life.

Tom Stanton

A local journalist, Tom helped found The Voice Newspapers in Detroit, where he served as an editor for over 15 years. Terror in the City of Chapions: Murder, Baseball, and the Secret Society that Shocked Depression-Era Detroit is Stanton’s most recent novel. It outlines Detroit in the mid-1930’s and tells the true story of the dangerous Black Legion.

Tumkeen

Tumkeen is a writer from Troy with published works of poetry including her book, Breathe: Reflections and Poetry from the 2020 Lockdown. She has also been featured in Ramadhan In Isolation: A Muslimah Writers Anthology and Rather Quiet magazine.

Wade Rouse

Wade also writes under the pen name Viola Shipman, whose novels include The Summer Cottage, The Recipe Box, and The Charm Bracelet. He lives in Saugatuck and also publishes novels under his birth name. He is the bestselling author of 13 books.

You know how much we love supporting small business here at Detroit Mom. And, we know that books bring so much joy into our lives! We hope you saw one of your favorite local authors on our list, or found a new author you’d love to get to know. Is your favorite author missing from our post? Let us know, so we can add them in!

Looking to get back into reading more? Katie shares easy ways to reignite your love for reading!

Holi: A Colorful Celebration

VaibhaviUgavekar

March 23, 2024

If you have seen the colorful images about an Indian festival, and didn’t know what it was about . . . it’s Holi! Holi is a Hindu festival celebrated with colors to commemorate the arrival of Indian spring and the triumph of good over evil. It is also known as the “Festival of Colors.”

The festivities happen over a two-day period. On the first day, called “Holika Dahan,” a bonfire is lit in the evening. Family members and friends gather around this bonfire and throw wheat sheaves, coconut, and green chickpeas into the flames as a token of gratitude for the spring harvest. They pray all their negativities are burned in this bonfire to bring positivity in the coming year.

The second day is the actual fun celebration. Powdered colors are playfully dabbed on each other and color-filled water balloons are thrown. It is known as “Rang Panchami” or “Dhulivandan.” Unlike other Indian festivals, old or worn-out clothes are worn on this day as color and water play are encouraged.

As someone from India, I have fond memories of this festival. I used to start my day by smothering gulaal (powdered color) on my unsuspecting brother and then running away to avoid getting dabbed in those colors. It never worked, but it was fun to play these pranks.

Read more to learn about this colorful festival, and how the festivities are conducted!

*words in bold can be found at the bottom of the post in the glossary!

Why is Holi celebrated?

Hindu mythology signifies Holi as a celebration of good over evil and it is believed to be about the story of Prahalad and Hiranya Kashyap. As the story goes:

Once upon a time there lived a demon King named Hiranya Kashyap, who was granted a wish to be immortal. He could not be killed by a human being or an animal, neither indoors nor outdoors, neither at day nor at night, not by any manmade weapon, and neither on land nor in water or air. He became arrogant with such powers and wanted everyone to only worship him like God. His son, Prahalad, who was a devotee of Lord Vishnu, did not agree with this, and that made the King furious. He grew very abusive towards his son and constantly gave cruel punishments; however, it never affected Prahalad or changed his mind to worship his father instead.

One day, the King and his sister, Holika, plotted Prahalad’s death by tricking him into sitting on a pyre with her. She would wear a cloak which was immune to fire, while Prahalad would not. As the fire roared, the cloak flew away from Holika and engulfed Prahalad, protecting him, while Holika was burned down.

To end the evil regime of the King Hiranya Kashyap, Lord Vishnu–the Hindu god–took the form of Narasimha who is half human and half lion (which is neither a human nor an animal), at dusk (when it was neither day nor night), took Hiranya Kashyap at a doorstep (which was neither indoors nor outdoors), placed him on his lap (which was neither land, water, nor air), and then killed the king with his lion claws (which were not any manmade weapon).

And thus, Holika Dahan (the bonfire) and Holi signifies the celebration of the symbolic victory of good over evil, of Prahalad over Hiranya Kashyap, and of the fire that burned Holika.

Another story tells about the playful prank played by Lord Krishna on his beloved Radha. Lord Krishna was dark skinned and as a child, was very jealous of Radha’s fair complexion. One day, he complained to his mother about this injustice of nature of how Radha was so fair and him being so dark. To pacify him, Yashoda, his mother, told him to apply any color of his choice on Radha. Mischievous Krishna found a powdered color and dabbed it on unsuspecting Radha, making her like himself.

This beautiful scene of Krishna’s prank, in which he played color with Radha and other gopis (milkmaids), has been shown in myriad forms in several paintings and murals and is the reason for current Holi celebrations.

What kind of food is eaten during Holi?

Since I come from Mumbai, which is in the western part of India, my family makes puranpoli, which is a type of sweet bread made of crushed lentils and jaggery, along with spicy rassa curry and onion pakoras (fried onions). I have tried making puranpolis like my mom, but it is never the same, and I miss it dearly!

In northern India, mathris (crisp-fried savory biscuits), malpua (fried pancakes), and sweets like gujiyas and jalebis are made ahead of time for Holi celebrations. Cold beverages thandai and bhang are Holi specialties and made with or without alcohol.

How do you play Holi?

First, you will need to wear worn-out clothes or clothes you don’t mind messing up–a lot of colors and water will be sprayed during the celebration! To play Holi, you will need powdered colors which you can either buy from the store, or make at home. Here is a simple step-by-step guide for making them at home:

Mix flour and water in a large bowl until it forms into a thick paste.
Separate the flour paste into different bowls to make different colors.
Add your favorite food coloring to each paste and mix it in with your hands. (You may want to wear a pair of disposable gloves, so the food coloring doesn’t stain your hands!)
Scoop the paste from the bowl and form it into a ball with your hands.
Use a rolling pin to flatten the ball into a disk that is about 1/4 inch thick.
Let the disk sit overnight until it is completely dry.
Use a grinder/mixer to crumble the disk back into powder. (Adults should do this or help with this step.)
Store the powder in a bag for future use.

This is also a great time to involve kids in making the colors and have a nice family activity. Another fun activity with kids is to make colored water balloons. Add different food coloring to the water, and use a balloon pump to blow the balloons up!

What should we be mindful of while playing Holi?

While Holi is meant to be playful, it can sometimes go sour if someone is not willing to play. This is a good time to teach children about consent and boundaries. Here are some of the things that you can try with your child to explain how Holi needs to be played:

Always check with the person you are playing Holi with to see if they are fine with putting color on their face and body, or are ready to play with water. They should not be considered a poor sport because of their choice, and should always be respected.
While the festival is played by kids and adults, boundaries should be set up for what is acceptable play, especially if someone is not comfortable and/or has a reaction to certain products.
Set timelines for when Holi will be played so that unsuspecting people will not fall to the prank, creating problems during the festival.
Explain to your child or friends about area boundaries, like where they can play–for example, only in the backyard or open areas or certain areas of the home, to avoid messing up the property during play.
Tell your child to play colors only with their friends and family, and not with pets. The powdered color settles on their fur, is not easily removable, and can cause irritation.

Learning Resources for Kids

Kids can have a lot of fun during Holi, as it is supposed to be messy play! However, this time can be used to teach them about the festival as well. Here are some books and resources, specifically designed for kids:

Festival of Colors by Kabir Sehgal and Surishtha Sehgal
It’s That Time of Year! Holi is Here! by Vanessa Kapadia
Non-toxic Holi colors and Holi activity kits from Kulture Khazana
Pichkari from Desi Favors (a color dispenser to play on Holi)
Local Hindu temples in Detroit have Holika Dahan bonfires and Holi festival celebrations planned. It’s a great time for kids to experience and play Holi in the community.

Glossary

Bhang: An edible preparation made from the leaves of the cannabis plant originating from the Indian subcontinent.

Gulaal: The name given to the colored powders (usually pink in color) used to play the Holi festival.

Pichkari: A water gun or cannon.

Thandai: An Indian cold drink prepared with a mixture of almonds, fennel seeds, watermelon kernels, rose petals, pepper, poppy seeds, cardamom, saffron, milk, and sugar for Holi.

I hope you learned a little bit about my culture, and will celebrate Holi with me! Wishing you a very Happy Holi from all of us at Detroit Mom!

For more celebrations, Vaibhavi also shares all about Diwali!

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Indoor Cold Weather Ideas for Kids In + Around Detroit

LaurenDalton

March 23, 2024

*updated 1/3/2024

If you feel stuck coming up with new ideas on where to take your littles when you just cannot think of another “at home” indoor cold weather activity . . . let our team at Detroit Mom help fill up your calendar with a variety of indoor activities for kids of all ages to help get your family out of the house!

Indoor Cold Weather Ideas for Kids in + around Detroit, by type:

ANIMAL ENCOUNTERS

Belle Isle Nature Center | Detroit

Check out the Belle Isle Nature Center where children can check out frogs, turtles, and a living bee habitat.

The Creature Conservancy | Ann Arbor

This nonprofit organization offers open hours Saturdays and Sundays from 1:00-5:00 p.m. and offers programs throughout the day to learn about the featured animal that day.

GP Zoology and Lou’s Pet Shop | Grosse Pointe

Need to fill some time during the day? Head into Lou’s Pet Shop and say “Hi” to their tortoise that roams the store. Their sister company, GP Zoology, also hosts animal events throughout the year.

The Reptarium | Utica

Let your kids get up close and personal to several reptiles during general open admission Thursdays through Saturdays from 4:00-9:00 p.m., and Sundays from 3:00-8:00 p.m.

Sea Life Aquarium | Auburn Hills

Take a break from shopping at Great Lakes Crossing and explore the sea animals. They have a touch tank and offer many close up viewing areas for kids. Detroit Zoo members also get 50% off tickets.

ART LESSONS

Abrakadoodle | Canton

Abrakadoodle offers a variety of classes and specialty workshops in a variety of mediums.

The Art Shack | St. Clair Shores

The Art Shack offers classes, camps, and events throughout the week.

The Bees Knees Pottery | Northville

The Bees Knees offers everything from canvas painting to jewelry making and every art medium in between. Please note that they are closed on Sundays!

Creative Arts Studio | Royal Oak

Walk-in projects include pottery, mosaics, and glass fusing. They also offer art camps and classes.

Mini Picassos | St. Clair Shores

With drop-in art days and class series, Mini Picassos has something for kids of all ages and abilities.

The Painted Pot | Rochester

A paint-it-yourself pottery studio with the coolest selection of items to create! You can also book your child’s birthday party to take place in their downstairs space.

INDOOR PLAY PLACES

Boogie Babies | Rochester Hills

Boogie Babies is for young children and offers different play stations such as a kitchen area, art center, climbing area, and much more.

Chelsea Tree House | Chelsea

The tree house-themed indoor play place offers many slides and play features as well as a gated area for little ones.

Dinoland | Dearborn Heights

A play place for the true dino lovers in your life!

Kidcadia | Dearborn

Possibly one of the cleanest play places I have ever visited! Kidcadia offers a safe and calming play environment.

Rochester Play | Rochester

The outdoor-themed play place offers a two-story climbing playscape as well as a smaller area for toddlers.

T & B Play | Clawson

This brand-new indoor playground offers one-time passes and memberships! Kids can play on slides or in a sand pit, and enjoy character visits from time to time.

Yoyo’s Fun Center | Clinton Township + Westland

Another new playplace in our area! Yoyo’s has general admission pricing at both locations and memberships in Westland. You’ll find a trampoline, slides, and a toddler area.

INDOOR WATERPARKS

Canton Aquatic Center | Canton

The Canton Aquatic Center offers Parent/Tot times on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 9:30-11:30 a.m. This is more for children under age five. Family open swim is offered Tuesdays and Thursdays from 6:00-8:00 p.m., and Saturdays and Sundays from 1:00-4:00 p.m.

Farmington Hills Hawk Aquatics Center | Farmington Hills

With two different pools to choose from, you can see the schedules online for when you can swim at Hawk Pool and/or Costick Center Pool.

Livonia Recreation Center | Livonia

Full open swim is offered various days and times each week. They also offer a modified open swim throughout the week during the day.

Macomb Township Aquatics Center | Macomb

Open swim is offered Mondays through Thursdays from 6:00-8:00 p.m., Fridays from 4:00-8:00 p.m., and Saturdays and Sundays from 12:00–4:00 p.m.

Troy Aquatics Center | Troy

Kiddie swim for ages six and under is offered Mondays and Tuesdays from 10:15-10:45 a.m. and Wednesdays and Fridays from 12:00-1:00 p.m. Open swim is available on Fridays from 4:00-7:00 p.m., and Saturdays and Sundays from 12:45-4:00 p.m.

LIBRARIES

Clinton-Macomb Public Library | Clinton Township

This library offers many interactive features for kids such as a train, puppet show theater, and many toy bins.

Farmington Hills Community Library | Farmington Hills

This library is full of bright primary colors and is sure to brighten a gloomy winter day. The kids will love playing up on the stage that is set up as a little house and kitchen stage set.

Southfield Public Library | Southfield

Your children will be transported into a library fantasy land when they step into the Southfield Youth Library. With life-size trees, larger than life books, and a sleeping dragon in a nook . . . your kids will surely find a cozy spot to read a good book.

Warren Public Library | Warren

Such a fun community library for children with play kitchens, train sets, checkers, and many other interactive areas to explore!

West Bloomfield Township Public Library | West Bloomfield

The youth library is definitely for children. With magnetic walls to practice letters and vocabulary, to the reading house where children can create their own puppet shows, and the activity center and LearningScape filled with many educational toys . . . this library is sure to keep your little one busy on those long winter days.

MUSEUMS

Cranbrook Institute of Science | Bloomfield Hills

Planetariums, dinosaurs, and mastodons . . . OH MY! The museum also host many events and programs for families to enjoy.

Flint Children’s Museum | Flint

This museum is more for children under ten. The museum is filled with many stations for kids to learn and explore for hours.

Marvin’s Marvelous Mechanical Museum | Farmington Hills

With over 5,000 sq ft, your children will be in awe looking at and interacting with all the mechanical features in this museum. From coin-operated pinball to neon signs, this museum has a little bit of everything.

Museum of Natural History | Ann Arbor

Be sure to check out this FREE museum this winter. Tuesday through Sunday from 10:00 a.m.–4:00 p.m., visitors can head to the investigate labs where children can use scientific equipment to explore the natural world.

Outdoor Adventure Center | Detroit

Bring the outdoors inside and explore all Michigan has to offer without having to brave the cold temps!

OPEN GYMNASTICS

Downriver Gymnastics | Monroe + Southgate

Toddler Time is offered on Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays from 10:00 a.m-12:00 p.m.

Extreme Gymnastics | Warren

Preschool open play is offered on Mondays from 9:30-10:30 a.m., Tuesdays from 11:00-12:00 p.m., and Fridays from 10:30-11:30 a.m. for $10 per child. They also offer school-age open play for ages 6-17 on Fridays from 8:00-9:30 p.m. and Sundays from 4:00-5:30 p.m. for $15/child!

Hunt’s Gymnastics | Clinton Township

Hunt’s offers parent-tot and preschool classes!

Mills Gymnastics | Southgate

Preschool open gym is Fridays from 10:30 a.m.-12:00 p.m. for $10 per child. School-age open gym is on Fridays from 7:15-9:15 p.m. for $14 per child. They also host a sensory/special needs open gym on Sundays from 1:30-2:30 p.m. for $10/child.

Troy Gym | Troy

With four locations, Troy Gym offers open play and gym seven days a week at a variety of times.

STEM LOCATIONS

Ann Arbor Hands-On Museum | Ann Arbor

This museum offers four levels of fun and interactive exhibits. The bottom floor is for little ones preschool-age and under.

Fascination Factory | Birmingham

Fascination Factory is a play-based learning center that your kids will love! Open play time slots are available Wednesdays through Saturdays from 9:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m.

Legoland | Auburn Hills

Practice those engineering skills and start building at Legoland inside Great Lakes Crossing. Build and test your own race cars, test your building stability on the earthquake tables, and take a peek behind the scenes and see how Legos are made. Be sure to check their calendar for toddler times and homeschool day discounts throughout the week!

Michigan Science Center | Detroit

The science center has galleries for your little scientist to explore. It also has five theaters to further explore science concepts. Your family can also continue your learning at home by catching EchoLive online, where their educators present science experiments!

Stemville | Northville

Stemville offers open play Mondays through Saturdays from 9:00 a.m.-6:00 p.m. to allow children to imagine, design, explore, and create.

The Robot Garage | Birmingham

The Robot Garage offers classes and workshops for children ages four and up. They also offer subscriptions to bring that learning into the home! Projects can also be mailed to your children to do alongside 24/7 video classes.

TRAMPOLINE PARKS + BOUNCE CENTERS

Airtime Trampoline | Various Locations

Burn off that winter built-up energy at Airtime with over 10,000 sq ft of trampolines, foam pits, Ninja courses, and so much more.

Bounce It Up | Livonia

For $15, your child gets open play for the whole day which includes bounce houses, arcade games, and a tri-level playground adventure. There is also a designated area for children under three. Memberships are also available!

Pump It Up | Various Locations

With three locations in Metro Detroit, Pump It Up offers a variety of open jump times as well as times set aside for toddler-only jumps.

Sky Zone | Canton, Commerce Township, + Shelby

SkyZone offers Little Leapers times for the smallest of jumpers, sensory hours, and glow nights for older kids. Check specific location websites to see what’s happening!

Urban Air Adventure Park | Various Locations

With four locations in Metro Detroit, Urban Air offers a variety of activities such as Jumparoo time for little ones, sensory-friendly play, Parents Night Out, Teen Night, and Family Night.

After your indoor play day, you might be hungry. Check out our list of restaurants offering igloo dining in + around Detroit!

Travel Tips from Kaufman Children’s Center Therapists

Whitney Cornelli

March 21, 2024

Detroit Mom partnered with the amazing people at Kaufman Children's Center to bring you this post. All opinions are our own.

Spring break and the summer season are right around the corner, and for many families that means vacation time. Some parents, however, may not be so quick to make plans. Traveling with children is almost always tricky–but traveling with kids who have diagnoses such as autism or sensory processing difficulties adds an extra element of planning.

Don’t put your trip on hold just yet, though! The occupational therapists, behavior analysts, and speech pathologists from Kaufman Children’s Center have some tips to make your time away easier on everyone.

Before You Go

Many children feel more comfortable if they know what to expect ahead of time. Here are a few ways to help:

Count down on a calendar how many days are left until the vacation begins/ends.
If your family plans to fly, watch airplane videos and role play airport procedures such as security checks, boarding, taking off, and landing. You might even visit an airport to get your child accustomed to the atmosphere.
Make simple sequence stories with pictures of each part of the trip (plane rides, hotel rooms, attractions, possible crowds, etc.). Take the stories along on your trip to remind them what’s next.

What to Pack

Take along items and activities that fight boredom (during travel, while waiting in line, and during other downtime on your trip) and help kids feel calm in overwhelming environments. Sensory supports are excellent options that achieve both purposes! Here are a few ideas on things to pack:

Chewing gum, which can also combat nausea
Relaxing music, such as familiar kid songs or classical music selections
Tactile fidgets for input through the hands, like hair ties, rubber band balls, stress balls, or twisty toys
Weighted blankets or lap pads for calming deep pressure

Getting There

Before getting on the plane or in the car, have kids perform physical “heavy work.” These activities promote a calm state and will help them to be able to sit for longer periods. Here are a few ideas:

Arm push-ups on chairs or walls
Deep-pressure hugs and squeezes
Frog jumps or jumping jacks
Pushing/pulling the luggage

Once you’re on your way, break out the sensory supports listed above, and also try a few of these favorite activities to keep kids engaged:

Clip small clothespins all around kids’ travel areas for an easy scavenger hunt.
Engage in fine-motor tasks such as sticker books, coloring books, and dry erase boards.
Enjoy simple activities like puzzles and blocks. Try hiding small objects inside balls of putty for kids to find!

Ensuring Safety

Keeping kids safe in unfamiliar environments is a top worry for vacationing parents. Here are a few helpful items recommended by Kaufman Children’s Center therapists (widely available through Amazon or other retailers):

Door alarms: Inexpensive portable alarms sound off when a door is opened from outside or inside. They are a great solution to make sure kids don’t leave the hotel room without you knowing.
Ear protection: Kids with sensory challenges can benefit from ear protection to reduce anxiety in noisy environments. Try headphones or ear plugs, depending on their preference.
Wrist bands: Write your contact information on cute, adjustable bands to help ensure kids are found quickly if lost. They are available in many different styles, including waterproof options.

If your child tends to wander or bolt away, consider a GPS tracking device, such as AngelSense or other wearable device. They give kids greater independence and confidence while giving peace of mind to parents and caregivers, who can track their locations. Read more about the service on the Autism Alliance of Michigan’s website.

Getting a Little Help

If your trip includes an amusement park or other attraction, research their disability policies ahead of time. Many have thoughtful plans in place to help make visits comfortable and memorable for everyone. Some even provide quiet spaces when a child needs down time.

One last pro tip: Ask your child’s therapy team for a letter requesting special accommodations, such as early boarding or skipping lines. It should be signed and on letterhead, listing what the child is being treated for and which situations they need help with. These letters work in some locations and not others, but are always worth a shot.

Happy travels!

Are You In a Coaching Cult?

Charmaine

March 19, 2024

Are you a part of a coaching cult? Have you ever seen a coach so magnetic that you just had to be in their group or program? Like they seem to know all your pain points and how they can help you solve them?

Do they have the social following you dream of, reels always popping, and livestreams always full? Their energy feels like what your life has been missing and if you could just get a bit of it, your life or business would grow?

That, my friends, is the coaching cult: you have a charismatic leader and the push for you to stay in the ecosystem and keep moving up the price chain of products and services. They sell you that their way is the only way and you can’t succeed without their next upsell. Oh, and if you don’t make the decision to purchase, you’re not as serious about your business as you say you are. And while you’re at it, don’t you dare go to another coach, because then you’re confusing yourself and their ecosystem is the only one you need to be in to win.

Does any of that sound familiar? Here’s my story:

How I Got Hooked

I was looking to increase my reach and profits in my business, and I wasn’t looking to go the slow way. Quick growth is what I wanted. I met her in a group for heart centered coaches–she was charismatic, exciting, and talked a helluva good game.

Once inside her program, I learned that was how she got new victims–I mean, clients. She would go into other groups, find someone who she felt she could help, and then befriend them. That way, when she offered her services, you felt comfortable enough to ignore your gut and say yes.

I started off taking one of her smaller challenges that helped improve your Facebook lives and convert. The group seemed positive and helpful. Everyone seemed excited and connected, so when we upsold to her group program, I figured it was a no-brainer. Heck, if I got these results from a 30 program, I could only imagine what I could do in a full group program.

The Shift

What I learned in looking back was that she spent a lot of time researching the pain points of the women she wanted to recruit. In fact, she put on multiple summits focusing on the trauma and brokenness of other women. In her groups she created trauma bonding. She always started things off with all of this loving and positive reinforcement; in fact, she had these weeks when she was uplifting and positive daily, giving us daily input and snippets to work from–which created dependency and trust.

Then came the criticism, the cuss out sessions, the rants. She would often go on a week-long binge of leaving rant videos in the group of how lazy and ungrateful we were and how we would never make it with that attitude or work ethic. Then whenever I or any other participant would bring how those rants made us feel to her attention, we were told we were soft or too sensitive, that this was business.

She would share what we’d shared with her in private session in the group. She bonded us by sharing all of our secrets and then setting us up to be afraid to leave because anyone who left the group got blasted as not committed and not able to take feedback to grow. Once I shared my doubts and fears as a business owner with the group that she issued a full-on rant to me in, that was when I decided to leave. She called me a pain in the ass client that was uncoachable and ungrateful. That I would have to pay her more to be a pain in the ass. I was hurt, embarrassed, and pissed off.

My Next Steps

I attempted to have a conversation with her to express how her comments made me feel and how I felt in her group, hoping we could salvage and make a pivot with our relationship because I thought we were friends. The conversation turned into why I wasn’t successful and how I was using her. Then she told me that I needed to humble myself and come to this healing retreat she was hosting.

At that point it hit me: “Damn girl, you’re in an abusive relationship with your coach.” So I took a look at my contract (which thank God was poorly written), talked to my lawyer, and bounced.

What I Learned

From this, I learned a few things:

Business always needs foundation: This idea of building or going fast is never sustainable.
Set and apply boundaries with clients: You experience less stress, and your clients respect you more.
Only charge what’s in alignment with my values: You don’t have to charge industry rate, you get to charge what you want.
For as many people there are with horrible intentions, there are more with good ones: Good always wins.

Moving Forward

After this incident, I took six months off to restructure my business model and just heal myself. Moving forward, I am much more intentional about who I work with, and work on staying clear about what I want to create in my life. I realize the part my neurodiversity has to play in “picking” people. And, I am doing a lot of work around that. In order to protect my mental health and allow me the space to heal, she is blocked. There is no contact.

I am more thoughtful before joining any program no matter the cost, making sure it’s in alignment with my financial goals not just my business ones. While there is no perfect formula to choosing the right coach, here are some things to look out for when choosing:

They are pain point focused.

Be watchful of those that are always focused on “Are you feeling . . . (insert pain point)”, or “I can help you solve (insert pain point).” Those people will always keep you in your pain.

They are there to keep you in line.

That is NOT the coach you want to work with. They will keep you in line, but your self-esteem will suffer. You don’t need anyone to motivate you or hold your feet to the fire. You don’t have to be embarrassed or humiliated to be held accountable.

It sounds too good to be true.

And it is. Be mindful of coaches who guarantee you’ll hit certain milestones with them. For example, “Take action to drastically change your life in 90 days.” No one can guarantee what milestones you’ll hit and when. Life is too weird for that.

But above all, keep your trusted group close.

That is what saved me during this ordeal: having my BFF and a therapist on lock. Cults–I mean, coaches–like that want to keep you as far away from your people as they can. They don’t want you doing therapy, reading books, or talking to anyone with opposing ideas. If you hear, “That’s a crutch, just do the work,” RUN.

I just want you to know: it’s not normal for someone to be mean and disrespectful to you AND you pay them for it. No matter if it’s a business coach, fitness coach, or gardening coach, we have to move away from believing that yelling at and belittling someone is a way to make them better.

If you’ve been through a negative coaching experience or are going through one now, I see you. And I hold space for your healing.

Ready to take your business to a new environment? Check out Amanda’s list of the most unique co-working spaces in the Detroit area.

Be Curious + Accommodating: One Mom’s Vision For The World

Guest Blogger

March 18, 2024

I read this incredibly challenging analogy the other day. It went like this: Make accessibility your baseline. What does this mean?

Imagine this: The custodian is rushing to shovel the snow on the stairs before students arrive so that when they do, they’ll be able to walk up the stairs and enter the building. The custodian finally finishes up, right on time for the bell. Students begin walking up the stairs to enter the building, but there are several students who use wheelchairs who aren’t able to get up the stairs. The ramp was still covered in snow. If the custodian had shoveled the ramp FIRST, all students would have been able to enter the building (even if the stairs didn’t get shoveled).

No one is harmed from too many supports: visuals, flexible seating, opportunities for motor breaks, Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC), etc. However, there ARE students who will miss out from LACK of supports.

My son Jaxon has an extremely rare genetic disorder called KDM5C. He is nonverbal and uses an AAC device for communication. He has cerebral palsy, and he has Autism. He is cognitively impaired and can have intense behaviors at times. He is a beautiful boy who laughs and loves life, but also struggles to do things that come naturally for most six-year-olds. He is a student that would miss out if we didn’t prioritize equity. Jax is why I choose to advocate.

I’m grateful for the person I am because of J’s disability.

It has deepened my empathy. My endurance. My understanding of equity and inclusion. My grit and tenacity. Truly, the way I view the world. I. Am. Grateful. But I absolutely hate what we had to do to get here. I hate the struggles that he must face to better my understanding of disability.

Constantly, I feel joy and grief battling for space in my mind. I never knew they could coexist like this. Unconditional true love and heartbreak. Proud of what we’ve overcome, yet scared of the future. High-fiving technology for AAC devices, but devastated that verbal communication is so difficult for him. Grateful that I understand his gestures and utterances, but terrified of who will understand when I’m gone. Feeling included when our friends invite us to neurotypical birthday parties, but frustrated that it always highlights how different our life is. Eager to advocate and move the needle, but really exhausted from all of it. Loving the progress we have made in six years, but still grieving what could have been. Not relating when I’m with my best friends but craving any kind of community. Pride and dignity. Faith and skepticism. It’s all of it.

Disability parents are some of the strongest people I know. They never asked to be in this category of parenting, but every day they continue to show up.

My desire is to bridge the gap between our world and yours, with two simple, yet profound actions you can take: be curious and be accommodating.

Be Curious

Curiosity is the bridge that connects unfamiliarity with understanding. When it comes to disabilities, the manner of your curiosity can make all the difference. It’s one thing to wonder about the limitations a disability might bring, but it’s another, more compassionate thing, to seek understanding about how to connect despite them.

For instance, instead of asking, “Why can’t Jaxon talk?” consider asking, “How can I best communicate with Jaxon?” This shift in perspective doesn’t just make me, as a parent, feel supported–it makes Jaxon feel seen and valued. Every child deserves to feel known, to be acknowledged for who they are–not just for the challenges they face.

Be Accommodating

Inclusivity isn’t about grand gestures; often, it’s the smallest accommodations that speak the loudest. If you’re hosting an event, something as simple as a thoughtful placement of food can alleviate the stress for a family with a child who has special needs. You don’t have to redesign your entire setting, but consider what minor adjustments could prevent self-exclusion.

For instance, a message saying, “I’ve set aside a quiet space for Jaxon if he needs a break from the party,” can be a beacon of relief. This kind of empathy–this willingness to make life a little easier for those already carrying heavy loads–can transform an ordinary space into a haven of comfort and understanding. It expresses, “I truly see you”.

Incorporating these actions into your life doesn’t just help families like mine; it enriches your own experience of the world.

It’s about taking the empathy you have and implementing it in a tangible way. Imagine a world where curiosity blooms into rich conversations, where accommodations are not exceptions but norms. This is a place where children like Jaxon aren’t just included, but they thrive; where the sound of “mama” is celebrated, even if they’re six years old.

It’s a world where every birthday party, every community event, every shared space is a welcome mat rolled out with love and consideration. If more of us take the time to be genuinely curious and make those small, thoughtful accommodations, we create ripples of change that expand into waves of inclusion, affecting countless lives.

This vision is not just a dream—it’s a possibility that begins with our actions today. The hard days are rarely ever hard because of Jaxon’s disability. They’re hard because the world/our culture doesn’t do equity or inclusion well. But I do have faith in humanity, and I am confident we can get there, together.

–Guest post submission written by Taylor Leal

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