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I’m Late. Yep, That Kind of Late.

I think I might be pregnant.

Oh joy!

Oh crap…

I am having mixed emotions.  Of course I am thrilled with the idea of becoming a mom again. But now is not exactly THE time. For starters, I have an 8 month old. That means that only 8 months ago I became a first-time mom and in all honesty I think I am still physically and mentally recovering from that experience!

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The Back Story
My husband and I struggled with infertility for 5 years before I became pregnant with my son. Our pregnancy was the surprise of a lifetime. We immediately knew we wanted to have more children and knew we didn’t want to wait long between pregnancies. I loved being pregnant and I definitely want to have another baby. It is an amazing gift to carry a child.

The Now Story
Fast-forward 8 months.

Yes, my husband and I still want more children, and preferably sooner than later. But is this the “soon” we originally had in mind?

There are a number of reasons my fear and anxiety are creeping in:

I am finally sleeping again! It’s not consistent and I’m definitely not sawing logs like I was pre-baby, but I am grateful for at least 6 consecutive hours. I’m not sure I’m ready to give that up yet.

My husband and I are finally starting to “reconnect”. Having a baby is hard on a marriage and I think it strained our relationship in a way we never imagined. We neglected to value and respect one another as our attention turned to caring for our son. As my son became the apple of my eye, my husband shifted to my peripheral. We need time to re-center our family and help strengthen our relationship.

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Daycare costs are astronomical! I currently work part-time and it would be difficult to afford daycare for two children unless I could be promoted to full-time employment. Selfishly, I am not ready to take time away from my career to be a SAHM.

Physically, I am just starting to feel like myself again. I’ve stopped breastfeeding and my hormones are beginning to level out. Because I’m sleeping better, my energy levels have returned so I am exercising more and getting my figure back. I’m not sure I’m ready to let my hormones take control again.

Most importantly, I want to enjoy my first-born all by himself for as long as I can.  He deserves the whole of my heart and if there is ever a moment when I can pause, reflect, and revel in my role as mom, it most certainly is when I only have one!

For all of these reasons, I have been avoiding the test sitting on my bathroom counter for a few days now.  But I think it’s time to stop letting my worries get the best of me.

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If the test turns out positive,

  1. Having dealt with infertility, the me from five years ago would be smacking me over the head for even harboring any feelings of hesitation. 
  2. Our family will grow just as we intended it too.  We have always wanted another child and the timeline shouldn’t matter.
  3. I’ll  have another baby belly to love on for the next 9 months! I miss the squirms, hiccups, and even the foot lodged in my ribs
  4. I’ll have another kid that’s just as cute as this little guy!

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5.My heart will grow ten sizes. It might not be the ideal time, but it will be exactly as it should be. There is always room for love. 

Whatever the outcome, I am certain it will be the perfect step for our family. 

Wish us luck! (and I apologize for the cliffhanger)

Dear Stay-at-Home Mom Friend

Hello Stay-At-Home Mom Friend-

I am so excited that you have the opportunity to stay at home with your children. While I, on the other hand, went back to work after eleven amazing weeks of maternity leave. Knowing that we are walking a different path, I wanted to share a few things with you about being a working mom.

Before I get started, I wanted to make one thing clear: In no way am I comparing stay-at-home moms to working moms, or trying to show that one is harder than the other.

I just wanted to share a few thoughts on being a working mom, so that as a motherhood community, we can continue to support and raise each other up:

I choose to work. I absolutely love my job, and the company that I work for, and had no question that I would be returning to work after having my son. I spent just as much time working on my leave of absence plans as I did creating my re-entry strategy for post leave. And this is nothing new, I have always been passionate about having a career. My parents recently unearthed a term paper I wrote in third grade outlining my career path and that my ‘future husband would have to deal with my success and that even if I am a Mom, I will be working.’

I am not jealous that you don’t ‘go to work.’ I mean don’t get me wrong, some days I could do without the traffic filled commute, but I really enjoy traveling and engaging individuals on what my company has to offer. And, although stay at home moms may not go to an office like I do every day, I understand that you work too. Just like a lot of my stay-at-home mom friends, you maintain a household (a.k.a. work) and have some kind of a side hustle (a.k.a. a ton of work).

I don’t feel selfish for continuing to work. I don’t feel like I am being selfish by being a working mom and allowing him to attend school. He has great teachers, amazing lesson plans (yes! even for tiny kids like mine!) and little buddies that he gets excited to see every morning. Would I love to spend more time with my son? Sure! Who wouldn’t! If I could tote him around everywhere I went, I would be the first to do it. But knowing that isn’t possible, I am comfortable with the childcare decisions that I have made.

I may say no to Spin Tuesdays or Margarita Wednesdays. Time with my son during the week is super limited. On a typical work day, he wakes up anywhere from 15-20 minutes before I leave for the office, and I have less than two hours from when I pick him up at school to bed time. I cherish every bit of that time, from his morning bottle to his sweet snuggles before bed. It’s not that I don’t still enjoy those pre-baby activities, it is just important for me to get in every moment I can.

I have so much respect for you. Whether you are a working mom or a stay at home mom, it is no walk in the park. Motherhood comes with no manual or road map. I know you well enough to know that sometimes we both wing it and hope we made the best choice. And at the end of the day, our conversations, calls and texts are something that I value and couldn’t do without!

At the end of the day, one thing is for sure: I am so happy to have you as a friend. I hope this helps paint a picture on a few things behind the scenes of being a working mom

With love, Jesi (and Blake!)

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Motherhood Unfiltered: When Instagram Gets Honest

Sometimes it seems the purpose of Instagram is to display only the most polished, carefully-arranged snapshots of our lives.

We’re all guilty of it. We know almost everyone else does it, too.  As a stay-at-home mom who doesn’t get a lot of adult interaction, I think it’s normal to want validation from time to time, and sometimes that validation comes in the form of “likes” and comments online. We want to appear to have it all together, to be optimistic, effortless, unfazed.

But what if we stripped away the Valencia-tinted lens we place over ourselves and shared our unfiltered experiences as parents? Here’s my attempt to re-imagine a more honest use of Instagram.

 

The Baby Bump Post

Honest instagram 1Actual caption: Staying close to home this 4th of July as we await our little (or not-so-little) firecracker. 38 weeks today!

Honest caption: My husband took like fifty pictures of me, and these are the only ones I like enough to post. 

 

The Nursery Post

Honest Instagram 2Actual caption: Finally put up the nursery decals. This room will be done someday!

Honest caption: This room was supposed to have been done months ago.

 

The New Baby Post

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Actual caption: #tbt to our first day home from the hospital.

Honest caption: Here’s a picture of my hand because I didn’t like the way the rest of me looked.

 

First Time Baby Gets Sick Post

Honest instagram 4Actual caption: Looks like I’ll be staying up on the La-Z-Boy with my sick little raccoon.

Honest caption: How could I let him get sick? Aren’t breastfed babies supposed to stay healthy? I knew I shouldn’t have taken him out in public so often. I don’t care if I don’t get a wink of sleep, just please feel better.

 

Baby’s First Flight Post

Honest instagram 5Actual caption: Theodore’s first flight is in the books.

Honest caption: HE SLEPT THE ENTIRE FLIGHT! NO FUSSING! NO CRYING! SOMEONE GIVE ME A MEDAL! WE ARE CHAMPIONS OF THE SKY!!!

 

The Pajama Post

Honest instagram 6Actual caption: Love this little behind.

Honest caption: We are still in pajamas at 11:30 a.m.

 

The ‘Mommy is Taking a Break’ Post

Honest instagram 7Actual caption: On a rare afternoon that Theo falls asleep in his crib by himself.

Honest caption: By the time I choose a filter, he will be awake again. Also, this coffee is cold.

 

The ‘Mom and Dad Weekend Away’ Post

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Actual caption: One quick stop at the falls this morning, and now we are headed home to our baby. We had a great weekend away in Greenville!

Honest caption: I need to hold my baby. NOW. Get me home get me home get me home get me home.

 

The First Ball Game Post

Honest instagram 9Actual caption: Theo’s first Tigers game.

Honest caption: Eek, I didn’t realize it would be so hot today! How awful will it be if I let my baby get sunburned in April!

 

First Mother’s Day Post

Honest Instagram 10Actual caption: Thankful to this little one for making me a mommy. Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms in my life!

Honest caption: OMG, I’m so tired. Do you think this filter hides how tired I am? My eyes are open, right? Going on four hours of sleep and dealing with a fussy, teething baby…Still, despite this permanent exhaustion, I’m so thankful to this little one for making me a mommy. So, so incredibly thankful.

 

If we’re not careful, social media has the power to isolate us and make us feel inadequate. But at its best, it is about connection. If we post authentically, we can relate to each other, laugh together, and find solidarity in the not-so-great times. Here’s to allowing others into our genuine, beautiful mess. #blessed

Embracing My “Mom Flaws”

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Last week, the stars aligned, and by the grace of all that is good, I was blessed with 10 whole minutes of alone time!

My intention was to put away laundry, do the dishes, pick up toys, vacuum, clean the car … anything that I can’t get done when the kids are around. Instead, I sat down on the edge of the bed and laid back. For whatever reason, my mind raced to the breathing exercises I learned in the yoga video I did 10 minutes of … three years ago. I placed my hands on my stomach and began to inhale and exhale. This lasted about 8 seconds before I felt my “Mom Flaws”, namely the miles of stretch marks that spread across my belly. My initial, ingrained reaction was a feeling of displeasure. Uncomfortable. Self conscious. Disgusted.

Then, something happened. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. A light inside me turned on and my way of thinking switched gears. I continued to feel the stretch marks. But my thoughts were more positive and empowering this time. I immediately thought of how awesome it is that I grew a baby. I grew a BABY! I literally created human life inside of me! Two of them! I am a frickin’ superhero!

I stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself. Really looked at myself. I was amazed at not only what I saw, but HOW I saw it.

I saw the stretch marks. The stretch marks that remained after my belly grew (TWICE!) to make room for the baby I was growing. These stretch marks show that I created, carried, and nourished a human life. After this life had grown enough to enter the world, my belly was left empty and scarred … and beautiful for what it had done.

I saw bags under my eyes. Although this was evidence that I was tired (and I probably always will be, just like every other mom), I was also reminded of being woken in the middle of the night because my babies needed extra snuggles and songs. My littlest tossed and turned and cried until I came in his room and picked him up from his crib, and just rocked with him. My oldest woke up and had a small panic when she couldn’t find me in bed. So I laid the littlest down, laid with my oldest, and we sang “Part of Your World” six times until she fell asleep in my arms. I will gladly take 4 hours of sleep and bags under my eyes any day so I can have these moments.

I saw my hair pulled up in a sloppy bun (#messyhairdontcare! Amiright?!). In typical mom fashion, I couldn’t remember the last time I looked in the mirror to fix my hair. But I looked. And in my sloppy bun, I found a pink hair clip, a puff, and a sticker. I laughed as I remembered when these items landed in my hair throughout the day. When my daughter demanded I sit on the floor so she could play with my hair; when my son laughed and played with his snacks; and when I rolled around on the floor with both kids.

I saw stains on my shirt. I couldn’t tell if they were from spit-up, drool, or food. And it didn’t matter to me! Because regardless what it was, it showed that my kids were close enough to me to make a mess on me. I couldn’t tell you how many times I am hours into my day and I notice a “baby stain” on my clothes. I’ve learned to laugh it off and chalk it up to life… and to always carry an extra shirt in my car!

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Some days, I am a hot frickin’ mess. And I am DONE being ashamed of that! I have flaws. Many of them. And most of them didn’t pop up until those kids popped out. I am proud of each and every one of my flaws. And the memories that they all represent. I am Mom … hear me roar!!!

What are some “mom flaws” you have that you wear proudly as battle scars??

Supporting Pregnant Friends after a Loss

One of my close friends just gave birth to her second child; a beautiful baby girl. Another one of my close friends is almost five months pregnant. There are countless people around me who have given birth over the last several months. Every time I’m on social media I see another pregnancy announcement. And another gender reveal. And to be honest? It still stings a little. 

Wait, why does it sting?

It’s been nearly a year since we found out we were pregnant with our third baby. And four months since our baby was supposed to be born. We lost our baby in July of 2015 and here I am on the other side of it still hurting and  mourning our loss.

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One of the hardest things I’ve had to overcome has truly been to see past my own grief in order to be happy for my friends and family who are expecting and having babies. And I am so, so happy for them. I love that they are expanding their family and giving me more little people to love on and spoil.

However, I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard. It’s extremely difficult. I continually think, “Why do they get to keep their babies, but I didn’t?”. I’m sure one day I will stop asking this question, but for now, it continues to haunt my thoughts and damper my joy for others.

Supporting your pregnant friends after you’ve suffered a loss is trying on your heart and on your spirit. It will test you in ways you could’ve never imagined. You will feel jealousy, anger and happiness all at once. Of course you’re not angry with your friends, but angry over your own loss and situation.

It’s just like when people say you don’t know what it’s like having children until you’re in the midst of changing poopy diapers and up all hours of the night. You don’t fully understand the depths of this pain until you have lost a baby or a child.

Keeping these mixed emotions to yourself is not easy. At least not for me. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, so I have a hard time keeping my hardships and trials to myself. There have been some times where I’ve expressed to a friend that I’m just having a really hard day and can’t bear to hear about your bouts of morning sickness. While their complaints are valid and absolutely justified (I know – I’ve been there!), it’s just not always easy to hear it. I wish that I could be complaining about the same ailments.

First, ask your friends to give you grace.
I am sure you are beyond thrilled for their growing bellies. This is a tough situation to be in for both of you. It can be awkward and weird regardless of how close of friends you are. You don’t want to discount her excitement and she doesn’t want to dismiss your sadness. Giving each other grace in these moments will allow you both to get through some awkward conversations.

Secondly, don’t be afraid to voice your pain.
I am very open with my close friends about the emotional roller coaster ride I’ve been on these last 11 months. One day I’m fine. The very next day I am crying all day for what seems like no apparent reason, but I want my baby still. I yearn for that fuzzy newborn head to squirm around on my chest. Allow them to comfort you and mourn with you. They will. They will wrap you in love and kind words and hugs. You will get through this together.

And lastly, don’t shut yourself away from them.

Sarah's Sprinkle
Last fall, just a few months after my miscarriage, I hosted a baby sprinkle for a close family member. Easily, it was one of the toughest things for me to do. I was still raw and hurting. However, the loving part of me wanted to push my grief aside for just a moment to celebrate this new life. And isn’t that the hardest part? Pushing our own hurt away even just momentarily to celebrate someone else’s blessings? When it was all said it done I realized it was a part of my healing. Recognizing that your pregnant friends are not your enemy, they are not the ones who did this and they still deserve your love and excitement as they share in your grief and sadness.

Baby Elli and me

These things are much easier said than done. I am almost a year post-loss and have to actively work every single day to not pull away from my pregnant friends. I remember to love on them and not always cringe when they talk about their aching back or swollen feet. Am I envious sometimes? Yes. But even through it I am learning to love ] growing bellies as they will love mine again one day.

NICU Wisdom: Lessons I Never Asked For

I often comment that our son’s sudden and unexpected arrival at 32 weeks, and our subsequent time in the NICU, was our first lesson in parenting. Nothing ever goes as planned.

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That’s a tough lesson for a perfectionist mama like me. My water broke on the eve of my baby shower. Twenty hours later, I gave birth to our son two months early, at 4 lbs. 11 oz.

Confronted with the anxiety and stress of a premature infant, I learned that in life difficult things happen. You can’t worry them away and you can’t always be prepared.

Thankfully, despite his premature arrival, our son was born healthy. Our NICU stay was focused on giving him time to develop in a safe and monitored setting while learning how to best care for such a little guy. It was an intense time filled with worry and anxiety, but also an opportunity to connect with our son and learn what he needed most from us.

Even knowing that big picture our son was okay and would be okay despite his impatient arrival, it did not shield me from experiencing emotions ranging from stress, anxiety, sadness, anger and guilt.

I sincerely hope no one reading this spends time in the NICU, but if it does become a part of your parenting journey, I hope these lessons provide some small amount of reassurance.

When confronted with a NICU stay, you lose the opportunity to take your child home as planned. It’s painful to go home without your baby. There’s just no way around that. Walking into my house after being discharged from the hospital and seeing our empty bassinet was raw and painful. No amount of reassurance that my son was being cared for and where he needed to be made me feel better in that moment. I wanted him home with me. Now.

Reflection on this difficult time helps me recognize lessons amongst the pain.

I learned to be patient and use the resources available to us from the NICU team. NICU nurses are warriors. Yes, warriors! They are fierce allies during an uncertain time. They know how to care for you and your baby. I am forever grateful for the warrior nurses who were constantly by our side. They knew the ins and outs of caring for a preemie, and we learned from their wisdom. Although it wasn’t an education I would have asked for, my husband and I were experts of our son in ways we never could have mastered as new parents by the time we arrived home.

I learned to be patient and accept help. Despite my son’s arrival in September, I hardly noticed the leaves changing color. My life existed inside the walls of the NICU. I left only to pump, run down to Papa Joe’s at the hospital, and occasionally sleep and shower (dry shampoo was my friend). I stepped out of my life and its responsibilities the moment our son arrived. I had no choice but to accept help. The best help was not the help offered but the things people just did. My mom showed up and cleaned and grocery shopped. A friend left a cooler of food on our doorstep, including pre-made dinners and individually wrapped sandwiches we could take on the go. Friends collected the baby shower gifts and delivered them to the house. Our friends and family were a step ahead of us, anticipating our needs. They provided help I did not even know I needed during that time.

I learned to focus on the things in my control. Faced with uncertainty and worry, I did not know what to do. My immediate relationship with my infant son looked different than what I had anticipated. I could not immediately breast feed or hold him. He needed time to develop and grow. But I could pump and provide milk. So I pumped. And pumped. And pumped. I pumped so much we had an extra freezer delivered to store milk in our garage! I dedicated myself to what I could do, and I learned to do what I could in whatever way my son needed.

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Looking back now as I parent our active four-year-old boy, I hardly see the tiny baby he was. Yet the lessons learned in the NICU stay with me.

Although I never asked for them, nor would I have chosen to learn these lessons the way we did, I realize the NICU instilled valuable wisdom in me that I will carry with me as I parent through the years to come.

 

Mom Life…Just like College

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It was during my morning {okay, 3pm} shower on Saturday, when I was abruptly interrupted by our 5-year-old crashing through the bathroom door, to get who-knows-what for who-knows-why and while the door was open I heard my 9-month daughter screaming at the top of her lungs – that I realized…this is so much like college.  No, seriously…think about it:

  1. Up All Night – When you have a baby, you’re up all night just like you were in college! Granted, this time you’re changing a poopy diaper and nursing/feeding. The last time you saw this hour of the morning/night was when you were coming home from your favorite bar, probably carrying a half-eaten slice of pizza as you lose the contents of your purse.
  2. Standing While Eating – There weren’t many times in college I took the time to sit down for a meal. If I was sitting down, it was because I was studying at the library or eating during class. It’s kind of like that now with a baby, if I’m sitting down it’s because my kid’s on my lap or I’m paying bills at my computer. These days I’m always eating on the fly, my food is rarely warm…and macaroni and cheese has become a staple {again}.
  3. Shower, eh…I’ll get around to it – and if you do get around to it, it’s interrupted by your roommates busting in and out for something…anything…and it can’t wait. It’s not much different with your roommates, aka – your little ones, now is it? Sometimes it’s easier to throw your hair in a messy bun and wait for everyone to hit the hay.
  4. Yoga Pants. – This one doesn’t need an explanation. Life is lived in yoga pants and sweat pants because life is more comfortable that way. In college and out, and especially with kids. Company coming over? Better put on your good pair of yoga pants!
  5. Laundry & Dishes – The last two things that always seem to get done in college and with babies! Now the amount of each has increased, and the time you have to do them has decreased. At least in college you had like 3 or 4 other people that could help you out with the dishes, now it’s either you or the mister (or mrs.)!

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Although we seem to be up in the middle of the night, and meal time and showering isn’t as relaxing and there’s always something to clean – it sure is special knowing that you’re going through it all for the most rewarding little joys on the planet – your children.

If any part of my life is going to resemble another, I want it to be my two favorite times: college and kids! I had the best time, at different times, with both
…and wouldn’t change a thing about either. 

Someone Has To Handle The Vomit

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By now you’ve seen it. The photo of an adorable, vomit covered toddler (named Declan) in a car seat and Dad’s one-sided text conversation accompanying it. In no time at all, the post went viral. Dad tried desperately to get ahold of Mom who is out and not answering his calls or texts. He is a self-proclaimed “sympathetic vomiter” and after throwing up on a stranger’s lawn, ends up having to explain the whole nightmarish situation to the police. The story is funny and unfortunate, very relatable and just goes to show how challenging parenting can be. 
 
The comments on the other hand are the real treat. Aside from the many, many vomit stories people are sharing, there are men and women who are entertained and empathetic… and some that are down right cruel. 
  • People are accusing the father of being childish, weak and far removed from the realities of child rearing. 
  • Some are offended that he is trying so hard to get ahold of his wife whom they feel deserves a night out.
  • Others feel that he has no business having children at all if he is bothered by anything gross.
  • Commenters are mad at other commenters for not taking his sympathetic vomiting seriously enough. 
  • Completely out of left field, some question the validity of the story at all because of Wi-Fi icons showing on the screen shots that suggest he couldn’t possibly be away from home! 

The Internet commenting world was in a frenzy over this story! I personally find the situation harmless, pretty darn funny and I’m not at all concerned for Mom, who obviously wasn’t bullied into saving the day since she never did answer Dad’s cries for help. I mostly find myself wondering what my own husband would do in the same situation.

My vomit story: I have had the pleasure of experiencing two car-vomit situations so far, both with my older son and both requiring major clean up, clothing changes and driving with the windows down for a long while. It was not fun, but my main goal was staying calm and not making my sick little guy feel even worse about the situation.
 
My husband: while no stranger to blown-out diapers, epic booger events and head to toe food and grime clean-ups, has almost no experience with vomit. During a recent stomach bug, he held a bowl for our three year old to throw up in, all the while yelling at him in a panicked voice to tip his head forward. My son, who had been handling his sickness like a pro, dissolved into tears and I had to intervene. It was a challenge for my husband to remain quiet and supportive during a vomit episode in our living room. I’m not sure a calm head would prevail if my Hubs found himself alongside the road with our son covered in puke. That doesn’t mean he’s unprepared and ill equipped to be a father though. Being squeamish about this one area doesn’t make him less of a parent.
 
We all have our weak areas. I tend to worry incessantly over coughs, colds, and fevers while my husband shrugs off mild illness and waits for it to pass. I panic over bumped heads and minor falls while he saves his panic for when our kid decides to take a flight of stairs head first.
 
It helps to have someone by our side to balance it all out and once in awhile you’ve got to handle the messy business of parenting on your own. Maybe Declan’s dad does better with blood, poop or snot. Let’s hope anyway, cause that guy certainly cannot handle vomit.
 
Who has the stronger stomach in your household?

Bye Bye Baby Weight {Part 2}

A few months ago, I shared the start of my Bye Bye Baby Weight journey, and I have come to terms with the annoying fact that losing the weight is not as easy as it was to gain it.

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I started to really focus my weight loss goals in April. By mid-May, I’d lost an additional 7 pounds, but have definitely struggled to continue to stay motivated.  So, this post is not just going to be about my great weight loss achievements, but a list of ways in which I continue to motivate myself when it seems like I will forever have this “mom bod”:

  1. Joining a weight loss program was key. For a very reasonable price, I was a 6 week challenger through a local fitness program. The trainers were incredible and the workouts were some of the hardest I’ve ever done. I wavered in how consistent I was – life happened.  We were moving into a new home, work, kids, etc. But it did really help to jump start my weight loss, and remind me that I have the ability to be so strong. Each week the workouts seemed a little less hard (notice I didn’t say easier) and the network it created of fellow weight loss challengers was amazing.
  2. When I felt like the number on the scale was still higher than I wanted, I looked at a record of my previous weights. I have an amazing App through my OB’s office that shows all my medical statistics throughout my pregnancy. I was able to look not only at my weight when I was very pregnant, but I could see what my weight was when I became pregnant. This allowed me to celebrate the little goals of pounds lost over the course of time on the road to my big weight loss goal. 
  3. Walking. This was the key to me feeling better and staying sane. My husband and I made a strict evening date with each other every night. This allowed us to decompress from work, talk to each other with minimal distractions (there was some interruption from one of my little talkers in the stroller), and get some much needed exercise.
  4. Water, water, water. There is a direct correlation between the days that I snack less and drink more water, than those days that I barely drink any water and snack frequently. Water fills you up and if you are full, you are less likely to snack. Plus, the glow all that extra water brings to your skin is just an added bonus!
  5. Look at that before picture and measurements. It is not just about the number on the scale! I repeat, it is not just about the number on the scale! When I started to feel real muscle in my arms, I felt amazing! Taking a glance at that before picture really helps me see my progression.
  6. Cutting my portions down. If you are anything like me, you can’t seem to give up your sweets cold turkey. I tried, it didn’t go well. I found that if I’m not giving up the things I enjoy eating, but simply controlling the portions in which I am eating them, I am a much happier, losing weight person. Weight Watchers has had some great recipes and helps me really understand the right size portion for ideal health.  

My journey is one that will be a life style change – I don’t just want to lose the baby weight (and then some) but I want to feel like I can maintain a healthy life for me and my family. 

I’ll continue to provide more updates. In the meantime, share what has {or hasn’t} worked for you!

10 Ways My College Roommates Prepared Me for Marriage + Babies

College Roommate

Similar to new mothers, high school graduates receive A LOT of advice.  Most of this advice is unwarranted and full of age-old cliches (Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life, anyone?).  Reflecting back, the best advice I received upon venturing off to college was from my mother (go figure!).  She advised me on the importance of living in a dorm with other girls for at least my first year away at school.  I wasn’t necessarily thrilled about this idea.  Being the oldest of three kids, I was pretty used to things being my way or the highway.  However, per usual, mother knew best.  She knew that I was in need of a reality check.  I needed to learn how to live with others, in an environment where I wasn’t always  going to be “the boss.”

I only lived with roommates during my first year at school.  To be honest, that’s all my Type A personality could handle without having a total mental breakdown.  However, now that I look back on that year, it was crucial to my development as a functioning adult.  I may have earned a fancy degree in my four years at college, but the experience of dorm-living was far more valuable than my diploma ever will be.

Moms with kids heading off to college, my advice is to encourage them to live with others!  Chances are their school isn’t going to offer a Marriage and Babies 101 course.  This is as good as it gets!

Here are the 10 ways my college roommates prepared me for marriage and babies…

  1. Bye Bye Personal Space – It’s no secret that moms rarely get to use the bathroom alone.  By the time I became a mom, I was a pro at sharing my precious bathroom time.  Have you ever shared a bathroom with three women?  They’re worse than toddlers when it comes to respecting your privacy.  Take it from me.
  2. Making Compromises – I may have cringed at the vintage records that were plastered on our dorm room walls, but I’m sure my roommates were equally as thrilled about my collection of Audrey Hepburn posters.  Compromise is a learned art form.  Silly as it sounds, this prepared me for making compromises with my husband today.
  3. Temper Tantrums – Think your threenager is bad?  Ever try reasoning with a 19-year-old, tantrum-throwing girl?  Enough said.
  4. Making Fun out of Frugality – Pinching pennies is always more fun when you have a friend to do it with.  I discovered my love for thrift shopping and couponing during that first year of college.  Together, my roommates and I realized that there are more ways to save money than by sticking to a ramen-only diet.
  5. Dealing with Death – One of my roommates lost a close family member that year.  At only 18, I was fortunate enough to not experience a loss of my own yet.  Being witness to her strength throughout that time prepared me for dealing with difficult times in my own family.  
  6. Difficult Conversations – Put 4 young women from different backgrounds together and boy, oh boy will you have a recipe for conflict.  As uncomfortable as it may have been at the time, I’m grateful for the arguments which led to difficult conversations.  They taught me how to be a good listener and communicator with my husband and kids.
  7. Caring for the Sick – Although it may be little things, like running to Walgreens to pick up Tylenol for a roommate, living with others prepares you for taking care of other people.  Learning to take on these small selfless acts taught me how to put others before myself – something that every mother does on a day-to-day basis.
  8. Sharing Cultures and Recipes – By far one of the coolest things about living with roommates is learning about their experiences and backgrounds.  As different as we all were, my roommates and I all enjoyed cooking and sharing our family recipes with each other.  Without those girls, I wouldn’t even know how to cook (or pronounce!) quinoa.  My family thanks them for that!
  9. Creating Adventures – Being poor college students, my roommates and I learned to turn the simplest of events into adventures.  This is a trait that never left me and I’d like to think that I’m a better mother for it.  I can pretty much make anything fun, just ask my two-year-old who accompanied me on a grocery store scavenger hunt yesterday!
  10. Learning to Hug it Out – There seemed to always be conflict in that dorm; whether it was about someone coming home too late or one of us eating the last of the Oreos.  I learned that if you want to skip that difficult conversation (see #6) altogether, hugging it out usually solved everything.  A hug is beautiful thing!

What life lessons did your college roommates teach you?  

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