Detoxing People: Getting Rid of Toxic Relationships

By

-

March 1, 2016

Toxic. The word is so descriptive and packs so much more power than saying someone is mean or even cruel. It has so much more depth than saying someone is bad or for my life. If you have ever had a toxic relationship, you know it’s more than just someone who is not so good for you. That relationship can permeates every fiber of your being; take over your life, get in your head and hurt your soul. The best thing you can when you find yourself in a toxic relationship is run. Of course, that is easier said than done.

The problem is, at first you don’t realize you are in one. By the time you do you may not know how to get out. The other problem is that people don’t always recognize a relationship as toxic. Could be that it’s not a romantic relationship be it a boyfriend/girlfriend or a spouse. Could be that you think of toxic as physical abuse. The truth is that a toxic relationship can be had with anyone; parent, sibling, co-worker or friend and emotional or verbal abuse can be just as scarring as physical. It may even be more difficult to see a relative as toxic than a friend or spouse because they have been there all your life, you have never known anything else with them.

I have had more than one toxic person in my life and as I have gotten older and wiser I have adapted an ability to feel the toxicity and end a relationship before it can start. However, it was in my own family that I couldn’t see its’ stranglehold. A toxic person ripped a whole in my family that may never heal. It sounds nonchalant when I read it there but it didn’t feel nonchalant. I just don’t know how to express the depth of the of it. It can only be felt by my sad and tattered heart. The hole remains but there comes a point when the hole is less painful than watching the toxicity or being a part of it. Letting go allowed me to step back from the situation and finally see it with honest eyes.
Instead of being angry and resentful, I feel strangely sorry for toxic people. How difficult it must be to go through life so full of hate and so clearly insecure that their only joy seems to come from tearing away at others. I imagine that is a lonely existence. As much as I feel sorry for them though, I refuse to allow it to surround my relationships. Toxicity kills the spirit; steals the joy and leaves you anxious and sad. Sometimes it is better to stop a relationship before it starts; sometimes you have to know when to quit.

If you are questioning whether you are in toxic relationship, whomever it may be, ask yourself a few questions: Do they lie? Do they play the victim? Do they make excuses? Are they often negative? Do they put themselves first – always? Are they arrogant and always right? How do you feel when you are with them?

If these are consistently yes, it is likely you are. Know that you don’t have to be. If you cannot leave the relationship then you can still do something to lessen the impact on you.

Set limits and establish boundaries. Once you have reached that limit, distance yourself both emotionally and physically if necessary.
Direct the conversation away from the negative. Change the topic or put it back on them to resolve. Focus on solutions.
Pick your battles. Emotions can run high with a toxic person, depending on how strongly you feel, some things are just not worth it.
Don’t let anyone steal your happy. Being aware of your feelings lets you recognize when someone else’s negativity is affecting you. Take back your happy.
Seek advice. Unfortunately, toxic people will target you if they get the response they desire from you. Talk to others about what they see and gather ideas on what you can do to avoid being victim to the toxicity.
Seek help. If you are comfortable enough in your relationship to help the toxic person seek counseling themselves do so. If you have hesitation then it is likely best to remove yourself from the situation.

Toxic people exist. They will come into and out of your world. Learning to recognize them, avoid them or deal with them is survival. It is not a failure to leave a toxic relationship. It is self-preservation.

**If you are in an abusive relationship and need help getting out please see this list of support contacts there to help you.

2016 Detroit Summer Camp Guide

By

aubreymoon

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March 1, 2016

Detroit Summer Camp Guide

Disclosure: This is a compilation of our featured summer camp sponsors. For an even longer list of camps in + around the Detroit area, please see the upcoming ‘The 2016 Summer Camps In + Around Detroit’.

Spring is on the horizon and that means the school year is closing in on us. Soon our kids will be home for the SUMMER. Have you started to think about what you are going to do to keep the kids busy yet? With summer quickly approaching, we couldn’t be more excited to launch our local Summer Camp Guide! We realize how important summer camp is to many families in + around Detroit. Our goal here at DMB is to make your life a little easier and make a list of possible camps you may want to learn a little more about. Metro-Detroit has some wonderful and enriching programs just waiting for your child!

Camp Skyline

Location: 5650 Sandhill Rd Almont, MI 48003

Dates: June 12 – August 19, 2016

At Skyline, we see children thrive in nature. With opportunities for structured and unstructured play and exploration, supported by compassionate adults, our campers are affirmed and challenged to grow individually and socially. It looks like smiling faces; it sounds like laughter and music; it tastes like excellent meals; it smells like campfires. On 156 acres, just north of the metro area, Skyline is an independent non-profit, operating since 1964. Operating day camps and overnight camps, with sessions for both typical needs and special needs, Skyline’s campers have doubled in the past five summers, but we remain a small camp where we learn everyone’s name and don’t need a megaphone!

Website | Facebook | Twitter

Cranbrook Art Museum

Location: 39221 Woodward, Bloomfield Hills, MI 48303

Dates: June 20 ‐ August 12, 2016

CAM CAMPS

Cranbrook Art Museum offers art‐intensive summer camps for students entering grades one through eight. Teaching artists guide students as they create and explore art, architecture, and design using Cranbrook’s amazing collections! One week classes available for grades 1-6, two week classes available for grades 7 & 8. Ages: 1st – 8th grade.

Cranbrook Summer Art Institute

Our summer programs are taught by graduates of Cranbrook Academy of Art, and are designed to both bolster creativity and develop fundamental skills. Our teaching artists excel in providing individual attention and innovative instruction – accommodating students of all levels.

Cranbrook Summer Art Institute utilizes the rich resources available at Cranbrook Academy of Art – one of the most respected graduate schools in the world for fine art, design, and architecture. During each two‐week session students attend class for studio time and instruction from 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., with additional educational opportunities offered for Boarding Students. Day and Boarding options are available. Ages: High School.

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Legacy Athletic Center

Location 9299 Goble Dr., Brighton, 48166

Dates: June 27- August 4, Monday – Thursday

Michigan’s largest sports complex is reloaded and ready to offer the most jam packed camp of the year. The Legacy Center located in Brighton, is your Summer Camp Head Quarters and hot spot for summer fun! Our camps offer unique sports specific morning sessions with traditional summer camp activities in the afternoon. Get ready for Drone Wars, Knockerball Soccer, Canoe Adventures, and more great activities with our certified camp instructors. With over 220,000 sq ft of state of the art indoor facilities and over 60 acres of premier outdoor playing fields, rain or shine we are ready for a great time. Make this year’s summer camp experience Legendary with the Legacy Center! Give us a call and save up to $40 by registering before May 15th. 810.231.9288

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Leslie Science Center

Location: 1831 Traver Rd, Ann Arbor MI 48105

Dates: Week-long camps every week from June 20 – Sept 1

This summer, experience adventure in the great outdoors! Campers enjoy days filled with hiking, conducting science experiments, and visiting Leslie Science & Nature Center’s resident raptors and critters. Create art, make music, write stories, and enjoy the summer sunshine. Every day has opportunities to learn new skills like fire-building or animal tracking and make new friends as you hike the trails, play scatter ball, or search for creatures in Black Pond. Each week of camp includes sessions for campers who’ve completed Kindergarten through fifth grade. Campers who have completed 2^nd and 3^rd grade enjoy an off-site field trip and nearly every 4^th and 5^th grade camp has a field trip and an on-site overnight. And, for the first time, LSNC is offering an optional extended day session every week to support working families and campers who want to stay outside just a little bit longer. Whether you’ve been to LSNC one or one hundred times, adventure and discovery await you this summer!

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Troy Recreation Department

Location: 3179 Livernois Troy, MI 48083

Dates: Troy Recreation Department offers more than 40 day camps Monday – Friday, for ages 3–18

The Recreation Department offers high quality leisure programs and services that promote healthy and ACTIVE lifestyles. Engaging programs from dance to martial arts and yoga, day camps as well as sports allow individuals and families the opportunity to meet their physical and social needs. Our 50 Plus and Adaptive programs meet the needs of our diverse Troy Community.

Website | Facebook | Twitter

YMCA Metro Detroit

Location:
Boll Family YMCA – Detroit
Farmington Family YMCA – Farmington
Birmingham Family YMCA – Birmingham
Downriver Family YMCA – Southgate
Livonia Family YMCA – Livonia
Macomb Family YMCA – Mt. Clemens
North Oakland Family YMCA – Auburn Hills
Plymouth Family YMCA – Plymouth
Lakeshore Family YMCA – St. Clair Shore
South Oakland Family YMCA – Royal Oak
Carls Family YMCA – Milford

Dates: June 13 – September 2, 2016

Like many programs at the YMCA, day camp focuses on teaching life skills, developing character and making friends. But few environments are as special as camp, where kids become a community as they learn both how to be more independent and how to contribute to a group as they engage in physical, social and educational activities. Every new experience comes with a chance to learn and grow. At the Y, we strive to give every child and teen opportunities to test their own limits and explore their potential. Summer day camp is offered all summer long at various locations throughout Metro Detroit.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Robot Garage Summer Camps

Location:
Birmingham – 637 S Eton St., Birmingham, MI 48009, Rochester Hills – 172 N Adams, Rochester Hills, MI 48309, Grosse Pointe Park – 15201 Kercheval, GPP, MI 48230

Dates: Camps begin the week of June 27th to July 1st and run until the week of August 29th – Sep 2nd. Various weeks offered at each location with multiple themes.

The Robot Garage offers LEGO Robotic, Engineering and Architecture camps throughout summer for Grades 1-3, 4-5 and 6-8. Sign your kids up for a week they’ll never forget. Camps run Monday-Friday from 9am to 3pm with before and after care available from 8am-6pm for $10 per hour. Summer 2016 Themes are Superheroes In Europe, Minecraft, Robot Discovery, and a very special Top Secret Theme that will be announced through hints as summer approaches. Save $30 before April 1st with Promo Code “Summer2016” and as always Members save 10% on full priced camps.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Sloan Longway

Location: Sloan Museum – 1221 E. Kearsley Street Flint, 48503
Longways Planetarium – 1310 E. Kearsley Street Flint, 48503

Dates: 40+ camps starting June 27 through August 4, 2016

Avoid the summer slide and register now for exciting and engaging summer camps and programs! This summer Sloan Museum and Longway Planetarium has more than 40 science, history, and geography activities for kids age 4 through 8th grade.

Get all the details and register online at SloanLongway.org.

Website | Facebook :: Sloan Museum :: Longway Planetarium | Twitter | Instagram

SafeSplash Swim School

Location: Bloomfield Hills, Birmingham, Royal, Livonia & Troy

Dates: Various sessions beginning June 6th.

SafeSplash Swim School specializes in teaching swimming to children 6 months old to adults. We are dedicated to developing your child into a confident and happy lifelong swimmer. We have successfully taught over 4 million lessons over the past decade. That is a lot of happy students!

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

YMCA Camp Ohiyesa

Location: Holly, MI (Northeast Oakland County)

Dates: Day Camp June 12 – Sept 1; Overnight Camp – June 19 – Aug 13. One week sessions.

For the last 98 years and counting, YMCA Camp Ohiyesa has been how camp was meant to be. This is not a parking lot, school, or basement camp – this is real camp. The 300 acres filled with forests, trails, horses, high adventure, archery, canoeing, swimming, mountain biking, and counselors and campers from all over the world will tell you that. Similarly priced to other “camps”, Ohiyesa campers and parents know the difference. Come join us this summer.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

JCC Day Camps

Location: 6600 W. Maple Rd. West Bloomfield 48322

Dates: June 20 – August 12, 2016

JCC Day Camps features spectacular month-long and week-long camps that offer something for everyone! Located on more than 200 beautiful wooded acres in West Bloomfield, our summer camp is open to children of all backgrounds and abilities—including children with special needs—and includes indoor and outdoor pools, a fishing and boating pond, nature trails, a ropes challenge course, a 600-seat professional theatre, a full gym, an interactive children’s museum, an art gallery, inline hockey center, playgrounds for all ages, air-conditioned facilities, a library and gaga pits. We offer free, chaperoned transportation to and from most areas in Oakland County, are licensed by the state, and are accredited by the American Camp Association.

Website | Facebook | Twitter

Kids on Campus (Schoolcraft College)

Location:18600 Haggerty Rd., Livonia MI, 48152

Dates: Camps are July 11-15, July 18-22, July 25-29, August
1-5, August 8-12 from 9AM-3PM and Academic Skill Classes are July 11-21 and July 25-August 4 from 9AM-12PM.

Kids on Campus at Schoolcraft College is a hands-on, fun and exciting summer enrichment program. KOC offers programs for kids in preschool through high school including art, science, computers, career exploration and more! Each summer new and stimulating camps are added such as Under The Circus Big Top: Grades 3 & 4, Digital Art – Get Wired: Grades 5 & 6, Tech Camp – Code Breakers & Minecraft Modders: Grades 7, 8 & 9 to name a few. Join us this summer for a camp experience you will never forget.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Downriver Youth Performing Arts

Location: Trenton Village Theatre, 2447 W Jefferson Ave, Trenton, MI 48183

Dates: June 28 – August 6, 2016

Summer fine Arts Program running 3 days per week – Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday – featuring Dance, Music, Theatre & Art.

Website | Facebook

Oakland University

Location: Oakland University, 2200 N. Squirrel Road, Rochester, MI

Dates: Jazz Camp: June 4-5; Piano Camp: June 20-24, 2016

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

School of Rock – Farmington

Location: Trenton Village Theatre

Dates: Performance Rock Camp June 27 – July 1
Rock 101 Beginners Camp July 11 – 15
Guitar Building Camp July 25 – July 29
Rock 101 Beginners Camp July 11 – 15
Punk Rock Camp Aug 22- Aug 26.

Be a ROCK STAR! Our 1 week Performance Camps lets you be the rock star, all levels available from ages 8-17. Rock 101 camp for ages 8-11 and Performance Camps 12-17. Play with others, learn about being in a band and have a blast rocking out!

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Berkley Parks & Recreation

Location: Berkley Ice Arena

Dates: June 20th to September 1st

Summer Day Camps at Berkley Parks and Recreation offer swimming at outdoor local pools, beaches, our firehose sprinkler and waterparks, weekly age appropriate field trips, crafts, sports, movies, ice cream, games, out-to-lunch trips, our own inflatable bouncer, 4-H demos, weekly themes and include a free T-shirt (for group identification on field trips)! Camp is divided into 3 age groups based on their grade in the Fall, KIDS KAMP: Kindergarten – 2nd grade; JUNIOR KAMP: 3rd grade – 4th grade; SENIOR KAMP: 5th grade – 8th grade. Camp hours are from 8:45am -5:00pm Monday through Friday and before-care and after-care are available for an additional fee. Berkley Parks and Recreation summer camps cost $150 per week for residents, $165 per week for non-residents PLUS a 1-time $25 registration fee – 3 and 4 day prices available as well. You can register for ALL 11 weeks of Berkley Summer Day Camp 2016 for $1500 per resident ($1400 if you register by May 27) or $1650 for non-resident ($1550 if you register by May 27).

Website | Facebook | Twitter

Total Soccer – Royal Oak

Location: All camps are located at Worden Park in Royal Oak (Behind the tennis courts at Total Soccer)

Dates: Camp #1: June 20 – 24, 9:30 – 12 pm $99* Camp #2: July 11 – 15, 9:30 – 12 pm $99* Camp #3: July 25 – 29, 9:30 – 12 pm $99* Camp #4: Aug 8 – 12, 9:30 – 12 pm $99* (*Teams of 8 or more receive $10 off per player) Family discount: $10 off each child

Total Training Soccer Camps are designed mindful of today’s young players from ages 5 – 12. Our goal is to further the techniques of all participants regardless of their current skill level. We concentrate on the smallest of details and work our camps in a progression style. Eric Scicluna and Chris Kelly from Total Soccer take great pride in helping players improve all facets of their game, no matter their particular level of play. All camps are located at Worden Park in Royal Oak (Behind the tennis courts at Total Soccer). We offer team & family discounts. Players should bring a soccer ball and plenty of water.

Website | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

Wildwood Ranch/Camp Burt Shurly

Location: 4909 Brophy Rd, Howell, MI 48855

Dates: Day Camp (ages 4-13): June 13-August 26; Overnight Camp (ages 8-17): June 26-August 12; Horse Camps (ages 9-15): June 18-August 26

Wildwood Ranch is a non-denominational Christian camp. Come explore our high adventure courses, swim and kayak on the lake, take a ride on one of our horses, and enjoy many other activities! Registration is open on our website where you can learn more about all of our exciting options. We look forward to seeing you this summer!

Website | Facebook

YMCA Camp Stephenson

Location: 1357 W 14 Mile Rd, Madison Heights, MI 48071

Dates: June 13th to Spet 2nd

Website | Facebook

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Making Milk: A Nursing Mama’s Survival Guide

By

Erica B

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February 29, 2016

Breastfeeding. It’s what your breasts were made for, right? But for so many mothers, including myself, it feels anything but natural – at least at first.

I was able to breastfeed both of my children, but it definitely took some serious effort, asking for help, and -until I figured it out – pain.

My first child had a magical way of making me feel like she was trying to gnaw my nipple off in her enthusiasm to get to my milk. Toes curled and lip bitten, I suffered through it for a few weeks until my husband begged me to quit because I was so miserable. Instead, I called the Breastfeeding Clinic at St. John’s Hospital. That appointment saved my quest for the breast, and I learned how to help correct my daughter’s latch and make nursing pain free. Once we figured it out, I was so grateful to be able to have food for her everywhere we went that was FREE! She nursed for 15 months, until she decided there were more exciting things to do and foods to eat.

When my son was born a few years later, I was hoping for an easier go of it and figured it would be like riding a bike… Well, I was dead wrong. My beautiful boy wanted nothing to do with ANYTHING near his mouth, least of all my breast or even a bottle of my milk. I pumped and finger fed through a tube or dropper for over 6 weeks. During that time we saw the team at the breastfeeding clinic multiple times, our midwife, our pediatrician, and even an occupational therapist. What we succeeded in was getting him to take a bottle willingly, so I pumped for a year to provide my son with my milk.

During the course of my two breastfeeding experiences, I tried every trick, tip, and strategy I could glean from books, friends, lactation consultants, midwives, and of course, the internet!

The following information is what I found most useful to me and women that I know. Please always consult your personal physician before taking any herbs or supplements!

1 – Find support. It definitely takes a village. Speak to friends who have done it, call a lactation consultant, or go to a La Leche League meeting. If you know during pregnancy that you want to breastfeed, have the contact information for these people on hand before you give birth.

2 – Rest. Most new moms will want to slap me for saying this, but it’s the truth. If you don’t find a way to sleep, your milk supply will likely suffer. Let the dishes and the laundry go. Let your toddler watch some TV. ASK FOR HELP so you can SLEEP.

3 – Get adequate nutrition AND fluids. Sometimes in the new baby fog, you forget to put food in your mouth. Keep finger foods available to snack on. Fruits, veggies, string cheese, yogurt, & nuts are fantastic, easy options. You also want to be drinking *at least* half of your body weight in ounces of water, so if you weigh 150lbs, you need at least 75oz of water each day. Caffeinated drinks do not count! Water, herbal teas, soup broth, and fresh juices all count toward your water intake.

4 – If your baby is growing and making dirty diapers, you are probably making enough milk. It’s easy to freak out because you don’t know exactly how many ounces of milk your baby is getting each time he or she nurses. That stress can hinder your production, so trust what is right in front of your eyes – wet diapers, poopy diapers, and that beautiful baby who keeps growing and gaining!

5 – Know that it’s totally normal for your baby to feed often! Newborns have tiny stomachs which don’t have a huge capacity. Your breastmilk is also very easily digestible and passes through your baby’s system quickly, at which point they need more! There is also a capacity related to your breasts and how much milk they can store, and it is not necessarily indicated by their size. If your capacity is on the lower end, your baby may continue to feed often, even when they are older and their stomach is large enough to hold more milk.

6 – If you know your supply is on the lower side, or want to ensure that it stays where it is there are some things to consider, including foods and herbs (known as known as galactogoguges), along with other natural methods that have been used traditionally to encourage milk production:

Breastmilk is made on a demand basis. The more often to feed your baby or pump, the more milk you will make. If you supplement with formula instead of feeding at the breast, your body will naturally make less milk due to the reduced demand. So if you supplement, add in a pump session.
Don’t skip the overnight feedings or pump sessions. As tempting as it may be (and contradictory to survival tip #1) to sleep through the night when your baby night weans, if your milk supply is in question, nurse or pump at least once between 11pm and 6am. This is when your milk making hormone levels of prolactin are highest, and not draining the breast during this time may cause your body to produce less milk.
Oats, barley, beets, carrot juice, almonds, avocados, leafy greens, and brown rice may all help support lactation and are healthy choices, so try including them in your diet daily. There are many lactation cookie recipes to be found on Pinterest that include oats for an easy (and tasty!) way to try and boost your supply.
Herbs that have been traditionally used for supporting lactation include alfalfa, blessed thistle, dandelion root & leaves, marshmallow root, nettle, red raspberry leaves, and fenugreek. Many of these can be found in lactation teas which are sold in health stores for an easy way to incorporate some of these herbs into your diet.
Fennel essential oil, diluted in a carrier oil like olive oil and applied to the breast (not the nipple) 2-3 times per day for a week or two has been successful in promoting supply for many breastfeeding moms that I know.
Take a one day “nursing staycation” – stay in bed for a day with your nursling, snuggling skin-to-skin, nursing, and napping together.

7 – For pumping mamas, know that the amount you pump is not necessarily representative of the amount your baby gets when nursing. Your baby is much more efficient at removing milk from the breast than a machine can ever be. There is a hormonal component that a pump cannot mimic, and some women have a hard time letting down at the pump. Here are some strategies specific to pumping:

Think of your baby, look at pictures or videos on your phone. Keep a receiving blanket or yesterday’s onesie in your pump bag a smell it when you pump.
Make sure that your pump is ready to rock. Check the seals and tubing to make sure they are intact and have good connections. If you pump daily or are an exclusive pumper, know that most “off the shelf” pumps are only meant for light duty use and may lose suction power after 6 months of daily use 3x/day. If your pump is slowing down, it may be time for a replacement or consider renting a hospital grade pump.
Pump for at least 20 minutes, or 5 minutes past the last drop, to ensure that the breasts are drained. Double pumping is most efficient.
Halfway through your pumping session, unhook yourself and jiggle and shake each breast for 30 seconds to help encourage milk flow, then hook back up and finish.
Do breast compressions throughout the pump session.
A “power pump” day can help boost your supply. To do this, leave your pumping gear out and ready to rock, and every time you walk by it, stop and pump for at least 5 minutes.
A time saving tip I wish I had known sooner was to stash pump parts in a large zip top bag and keep them in the fridge between sessions. That way you can wash them at the end of each day and not every time you pump!

Breastfeeding can be challenging, but please know that you’re not alone! Reach out when you need help, whether it be to someone you know or even in an online parenting group. Chances are there’s someone who’s been there too and ready to listen to you.

However you feed your baby, whether bottle or breast, we here at Detroit Moms Blog think you are awesome! What are your best infant feeding tips?

Let’s Talk About Poop, Baby.

By

Courtney

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February 28, 2016

Yes, poop.

I’m just going to dispense with the formal ‘fecal matter’ term, and call a spade a spade. It’s poop. And it’s something that parents of young children deal with. All. The. Time.

Albeit a taboo and unsavory topic, it’s an important one. From the moment your precious little bundle of joy enters the world, through potty training and possibly beyond, poop will be a central topic in your parenting life.

Baby Blowouts
Baby poop provides a direct indication of what is going on with baby’s body, both good and bad. And of course we want to make sure that our newborn child’s body is functioning properly! My husband and I talked more about our first child’s diapers than I would have ever thought possible. I think as parents we are conditioned to do so – both instinctively and because the labor and delivery and pediatric staff at the hospital put us on alert. From those first tar-like, meconium diapers until the mustard seedy breastmilk or pasty infant formula poop appears, new parents are on high alert:

What does it look and smell like?
What color is it?
How many diapers did baby fill?
Is there any blood in the stool?

The ranges of color can be quite shocking! My pediatrician actually has a handout for new mothers on this very topic. If you’re a first time parent, don’t panic; it’s mostly normal for poop to come in an array of browns, yellows and even greens. However, if there is any indication of blood in your baby’s stool, definitely seek medical attention. It could be a sign of an allergy or an indication of lactose intolerance in your little one.

Toddler Toots
Two words: potty training. If you’re lucky, your little one will take to it quickly and go #2 with gusto. I’ve potty trained two children thus far and have yet to fall into that “easy” category, particularly when it comes to poop.

My first son held his poop for a week.
Apparently this is a totally normal reaction when transitioning from diaper to toilet. It may be normal, but it did not appear at all comfortable for my little guy. My husband and I were forced to take drastic measures in the form of a liquid suppository. It was rather dramatic for all parties involved. Thankfully we only had to do it once; our son got the not so subtle hint. If you’ve ever had a similar experience, you know exactly what I’m talking about!

My second son would hold his poop until nap time.
Then he would go in his Pull Up. My little stinker – pun intended – would then occasionally take off said Pull Up and decorate the walls and carpeting of his bedroom with his offering. No, I’m not joking. That industrial carpet cleaner that my husband kept in the basement closet became worth its weight in gold. Here’s the culprit, luxuriating in a bubble bath after one such episode:

Those were dark, dark days. I’m so happy that phase is OVER!

How did we get through this poopy phase?
It took an insane amount of:

Patience
An essential parenting quality that I, unfortunately, do not possess in spades. Potty training definitely tested my limits. For those of you who have patience in abundance, I stand in awe and bow before your expertise. It will take you far!
Bribery
Another essential tactic to have in your parenting arsenal. Some may argue that it’s not fair, but in my book: if it produces results, a little incentive is a-OK. ‘You want that ice cream? Sure! Just as soon as you go poop on the potty; You’d like to play with Mommy’s tablet? Great, then you must sit on the potty.’
Trial and Error
Isn’t this always the way? We have to investigate and discover what works and what doesn’t. My hubby and I found that the normal toilet scared the daylights out of our second little guy, even with his special stool and potty seat. We ended up using a small, portable potty. I even put it in the back of my car in the event of an on-the-go stop. I was worried that my son would never attempt to use the big potty, but he eventually became accustomed to it.

Preschool Poop
Whoever invented the automatic flushing toilet definitely didn’t have a little kid. I have yet to meet a child who doesn’t find that huge, unprompted, loud WHOOSHING sound absolutely terrifying! My boys always thought they were about to be whirled right down the toilet bowl. We had encountered these bathroom gems on occasion, but my son’s hand was never forced. Once he started preschool, however, the automatic potty was his only option. He was petrified. Urinals were thankfully available for #1, but going #2 was a nightmare.

Once we finally weathered that storm, the issue of wiping popped up. My son’s teacher pulled me aside one afternoon and said, “You might want to check his bottom, he went potty and I don’t wipe”. What a mess! What three-year-old is an adept wiper? Other parents agreed – one even asked her son not to go #2 at school. I called the director, furious. I soon learned that by law, the school was not licensed to handle children in that manner. Daycare settings are different, but the structure of our particular preschool wouldn’t allow it. Fair enough. I promptly added “practice wiping” to my to-do list!

A final preschool poop topic of note: children who simply can’t go. Constipation is no joke. It effects many kids, from the toddler years and beyond.

For parents with younger children unable to verbalize their discomfort, it’s pretty much a guessing game:

Are they constipated?
If so, what caused the blockage? (if possible, you want to prevent a repeat performance!)
Now what? What will remedy the situation?

I distinctly recall running to the store for pureed prunes and pear juice at midnight to help alleviate a screaming child who ate too many bananas. Prunes and pears work great for this malady. In cases of chronic constipation, a doctor may also recommend a powdered laxative that can be easily mixed into food (*please don’t try this on your own without medical supervision*).

Poopy Tips
My middle child had an absolute poopy disaster right through his lovely, white, starched baptismal outfit . It happened in the car on the way to the ceremony, completely unbeknownst to us! The lovely matching hat and shoes were still intact but the outfit was beyond destroyed, and I didn’t have a second set of clothing. I learned an invaluable lesson that day: always pack spare clothes! Here are a few more tips:

Keep prunes and pears – pureed or in juice form – on hand from the time infant cereal is introduced.
Practice wiping while potty training. Yes, it’s easier and cleaner to do it yourself but it’s a skill that must be mastered.
Hydrogen peroxide mixed with warm water in a spray bottle + baby wipes removes poop stains from carpeting and mattresses
Probiotics (in powdered form) are helpful to restoring a healthy GI tract/eliminating diarrhea, particularly after a round of antiobiotics
Beware of pectin in commercial applesauces and fruit purees, it’s a hidden constipator
Baby wipes aren’t just for babies
Liquid suppositories aren’t fun, but they get the job done. Pediatric brands are readily available.
Fruit = fiber = good flow.
Skid marks are inevitable. Keep your laundry stain remover on hand.
Providing a little incentive for your little one to go on the potty just might help to maintain your sanity.
Poop accident in a car seat? More than likely, the seat is destroyed. Getting the stain & smell out of the foam padding is next to impossible.
Invest in a mattress protector.
Always keep a spare set of clothes in your diaper bag!

Are you a parent weathering the trials and tribulations of poop? What phase are you in: baby, toddler or preschool? Maybe you’re potty training? Share your wit and wisdom with us!

Destination: Detroit Outdoor Adventure Center

By

Kate Bell

-

February 25, 2016

Outdoor Adventure Center: Detroit, Michigan.

I have to say, I was never one of the moms who thought about hosting my kids birthday party anywhere but home; I know, crazy right. However, the anxiety I would get going to a bouncy birthday party left me in a state that was not so great. Plus I have a kid who pukes 8 out of 10 times when he attends a party at said bouncy environments. Nothing says fun like a bag of puke, always in the car, after hours of chaos and sugar. If you are one of those parents who can (and does) host parties in these bouncy locations, my props to you – you are way stronger than me.

Enter the year of my kids turning 5 and 8. Turning 5 in our family means a friend birthday party. The 8 year old was just a bonus party…but he doesn’t need to know. Our sons have many friends that overlap – siblings, classmates, etc. so hosting party for their community was the no-brainer. However, WHERE to do so was my next question. (Remember, no bouncy party…)

While on a work assignment, I came across the Outdoor Adventure Center in Downtown Detroit. What?! I could see the Ren Cen as I walked toward the building. I made the mental note to check it out more, as it was closed the day I was there.

After the research, planning, and the actual party – here are my top 10 thoughts:

You have to go. Today. (well, not on Monday or Tuesday, as they are closed: check the hours HERE)
We love being outside, all things Michigan and being Up North – however, hosting a party with that theme, in November, in Michigan was not an easy thing to pull off. Though, that day, the weather was great and we could have totally been REALLY outside. Besides the point – read point 3:
Have the OAC host your next kiddo birthday party
So easy, so fun. So very affordable too! They even make the goodie bags.
The coordinator we worked with was so kind, helpful and accommodating. We were welcomed at the desk, the room was ready; we choose to bring a collection of balloons, and birthday books for table decorations; however the room was rustic and festive enough without anything extra being needed.
There is an Elk in the “lodge room” – very cool was the reply for all who entered.
We brought cupcakes and juice boxes. The party was between meal times, simplifying the set up.
The program that was part of the birthday package was fantastic. The party guide brought a cart in of lots of nature discovery items: pelts, bones, skulls, etc. and engaged the kids for a good 30 minutes of questions, answers and lessons. After the program, she had the kids all gather around the table and created a HUGE collection of foot prints with ink stamps. (would suggest having a pack of baby wipes handy to quickly clean the mess…) My sons have hung this creation in their Lego room.
Then we got to go EXPLORE! The kids (and grownups) were GONE! So much to see, explore, do and learn about on the 3 levels of the renovated building.
Everything is HANDS ON – climbing, riding, building, sorting, all sorts of ways to learn and grow.

Bottom line – GO! Explore. Support. I am looking forward to getting back ‘Up North, Downtown’ this winter. My kids are too!

The OAC has a great video that introduces you to the center:

Best Sledding Hills In + Around the D

By

Elizabeth Lewis

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February 25, 2016

Can you believe the amount of snow we’ve gotten since yesterday morning?! After the mild winter we’ve had it’s a little nice to get some snow before winter disappears. We do live in Michigan so the unpredictable weather that drives us nuts is also what we’ve come to love about Michigan. The fact that we can be in sweatshirts + flip-flops one day and a snowsuit + boots the next is pretty remarkable! Let’s celebrate this snow day with our kids (you know they’ve been planning it from the time they heard Winter Storm Warning) and venture onto one of our great sledding hills. So grab your saucer and get ready to race down one of these hills at record speeds or choose a mellow hill and just take easy. Either way, lets hope the sun is shining (Vitamin D is a must) and memories are made!

Beverly Hills

Beverly Park Sled Hill

18801 Beverly Road, Beverly Hills, Michigan 48025

Birmingham

Booth Park

Southwest intersection of Old Woodward and Harmon

Lincoln Hills Golf

2666 W 14 Mile Rd, Birmingham, MI 48009

Clinton Township

Clinton Township Civic Center Park

40700 Romeo Plank Rd, Clinton Township, Michigan 48038

Farmington Hills

Heritage Park

24915 Farmington Rd. Farmington Hills

Shiawassee Park

32340 Shiawassee St. Shiawassee Park. Farmington, Michigan 48336

Grosse Pointe

Vernier Hill

Lake Orion

Jesse Decker Park

1335 Joslyn Road, Lake Orion, Michigan 48360

Madison Heights

Civic Center Park

300 W 13 Mile Rd, Madison Heights, Michigan, 48071

Milford

Kensington Metro Park

2240 W. Buno Road Milford, MI 48380

New Baltimore

Maynard “Red”Aurand Memorial Park

34900 Huntley Drive and 24 Mile Road,New Baltimore, MI 48051

Northville Twp.

Cass Benton

Edward Hines Drive (Between 6 and 7 mile rd)

Oakland

Lost Lake Nature

846 Lost Lake Trail, Oakland, MI 48363

Oak Park

Hamilton Hill at Shepherd Park

Corner of Oak Park Blvd. and Church

Rochester

Bloomer Park

375 John R. Road, Rochester Hills, Michigan 48309

Borden Park

East side of John R Rd between Hamlin Rd and Auburn Rd, Rochester Hills, MI

Shelby

Stoney Creek Metropark

4300 Main Park Road, Shelby Township, MI 48316

Waterford

Waterford Oaks

1702 Scott Lake Road, Waterford, MI 48328

West Bloomfield

Marshbank Park

2805 Hiller Road, West Bloomfield, MI 48324

White Lake

Indian Spring Metropark

5200 Indian Trail, White Lake, MI 48386

Ypsilanti

Rolling Hills

7660 Stony Creek Rd, Ypsilanti, MI 48197

Did we miss a hill that needs to be on this list? If we did, comment below and we’ll add it in!

Dear Daughter

By

Francina

-

February 23, 2016

Dear Daughter

Almost every night after I lay with you to sleep, I sit there and just stare at you. Your beauty is so innocent and so pure. I think of your smile and the way you get happy if you see a brand new box of Apple Jacks in the pantry. Little things mean so much to you, and I just want to hold on to this age forever.

The way you sleep with just a little nightgown on and wake up in the morning with your hair all in tangles and little crusties in your eyes. You wake up an extra hour early almost every morning just to see me before I go to work. Getting you ready every morning is the highlight of my day.

The way you look at yourself with happiness when you finally get the last tangle out of your hair and with not one trace of makeup, you look so beautiful.

I can’t help but worry about the years to come when you start to doubt how beautiful you truly are. When other peoples’ opinions start to matter to you, when you start to ask me to wear makeup and worry if your clothes fit right. I just wish you could always see yourself the way I see you.

The day you were born I couldn’t stop staring at your sweet innocent face and how much you have grown in 7 years amazes me. Watching you play and laugh with your little sister or how much you care and love your grandparents – your genuine beautiful heart takes my breath away.

The truth is that I learn so much from you every single day. I learn that I need to smile a little more like you, love life a little more like you and to be happy all the time – like you. It is so easy to fall into the gloomy days of this world. To be negative and to worry, to cry but if I was just a little bit more like you, my beautiful daughter, I would be able to appreciate and live life a little bit more.

I pray that no matter what life throws your way, or how hard it can get, that you never lose that little sparkle in your eye and the passion and love you have for the world. I hope you always know how beautiful you really are.

Because one day I know you won’t believe me.

Finding the Blessings

By

Kim C.

-

February 22, 2016

When you are awoken at 2:30 am by a large “Whoomp” noise that shakes your house, followed by the smell of something burning, it’s hard to see a blessing in it. When you find yourself at an all night super store at 3am buying a carbon monoxide detector so you can sleep peacefully, it seems a rather large inconvenience. When at last you get the furnace folks to tell you that it will cost a few thousand dollars to install a new one just a few short weeks after you have replaced the dishwasher that leaked water, and the microwave that quit, a silver lining seems black.

I freely admit I am not always good at seeing the blessings in things when they happen. For some things I may never see it, but I do believe there is a blessing, a lesson or an opportunity in everything if you look for it. Things go wrong, pretty much daily. Like anyone else my first instinct is to say, “REALLY?!” It’s easy to get mired down in the why me and why now? But when I look through calmer eyes I can see like most things, this was not a tragedy. Tragedy would be being unable to get this fixed, being unable to provide warmth and comfort for my family. I think if you look around you, and I mean right near you, you can see how blessed you are in the heartbreaking things that happen to our loved ones everyday. From the co-worker who just lost her mother; the friend whose son was born with a heart defect and the neighbor who was laid off from their job.

My grandmother used to say, “If all you look for is the bad, that’s all you’ll ever find.” I try to remember that. So, I stop. I slow down. Have a cup of coffee (or wine) reset and calm myself and try to look for the good. What I find is the friend who lost her mother but was able to have a few months of time to share her newborn son before she passed. I watch in awe of the boy with the heart condition who soldiers on through every surgery and teaches everyone around him about strength and hope; and the neighbor who is now pursuing a dream of owning their own business. Some days I am able to see my blessings through the trials of others, some days my trials can serve as a reminder to them. That is the ebb and flow of life.

Whether you believe things happen for a reason or that it’s all just a big crapshoot; if you try to adopt this perspective of looking for some good in anything (and some days are a real challenge to do it) it can really take a bad situation and soften it. It doesn’t solve the issue at hand but it can make it easier to bear.

It allows you to appreciate the 24 hour super store when the furnace installer tells you that these old furnaces are prone to carbon monoxide in these circumstances. It helps you jump for joy when he pulls a corroded and cracked gas line from under your house and tells you that the broken furnace and the broken gas line have nothing to do with each other but that without one you wouldn’t have known about the other until your house exploded. That’s a blessing that was easy to find.

Surviving “Sick Season” as a Working Parent

By

Erin Piper

-

February 21, 2016

The first time my son was sick from daycare, it was a “drop everything” moment to scoop him up, bring him home for a warm drink and cuddling until he fell asleep. Now, when daycare calls with report of a sick kid, there’s a little battle between my husband and me that sounds something like this: “Really? You can’t miss that meeting? Are you suuuure?”

I actually lost count of how many times my kids were sick in January, but I do know that my youngest had pinkeye, an ear infection, upper respiratory infection, random virus that turned into a rash (roseola for the win!), and…maybe something else? I honestly don’t remember. Throw in a virus for my son that kept him home two separate days, and we haven’t had a week all month where both kids were healthy. I actually began writing this piece two sicknesses ago, if that tells you anything about what a shock our first winter in daycare has been!

This “sickness season” during our first winter in daycare has been a huge source of stress. I had heard over and over that “daycare kids are always sick,” but I don’t think you can really understand what this means until you’ve lived it.

I realize that there are parents who deal with far greater health issues in their kids on a daily basis, so I am not trying to be overly dramatic, but hope to give any other parents approaching their first “sick season” some insight.

Thankfully, my husband has a great employer, and I’ve been able to fit much of my client work (I’m self employed) around sicknesses and catch up in the evenings. We certainly don’t have a perfect system for dealing with sickness (and probably never will), but in hindsight, there are a few things you can do to help get through sick season.

When you’re in a situation like I am (you don’t work, you don’t get paid…but you still have to pay for daycare!), it was really important to find the right balance between giving a sick kid the attention they need, and finding a way to work so you can pay the bills and keep your clients. Trust your judgement, and that you’ll be able to figure out when you’re most needed, and when your child is okay to rest in the same room while you plunk out some work!

That said, here are my top tips! If this is your first season in daycare (it was mine!), I hope this helps you plan for those rough winter months!

Work with your partner to schedule your most important meetings on alternate days. Obviously some of this is beyond your control, but to the extent that it is, it will make it a lot easier for one person to stay home.
Add a bit to your budget. Sick season was PRICEY. Not only do I have to pay for daycare even if my kids don’t attend, I bill my clients for the time I work…so if I don’t work, I don’t get paid. Yikes. Add in co-pays, prescription costs, any other costs, and it adds up quickly!
Say “SURE!” any time someone offers to help. Obviously, you’ll enlist any family members who offer to help. Also say “yes, please!” to friends who offer to drive over with a cup of coffee to keep you going, or run through the drive through to keep you fed.
Don’t ever assume it’s over! After every sickness, I assumed “phew, now we can get back to normal!” And seven or more times, I was wrong. I recommend assuming that sicknesses will continue to pop up over the rough winter months and adjusting your work as much as possible to accommodate, rather than keep pushing things back and assume the next week will be better.
Be a good coworker and employee. I’m self-employed so I’m in a slightly different position than many folks, but I do have a few colleagues for some projects, and they have helped me out tremendously. In cases where others have to pick up your slack, try to make it up to them during other times of the year, recognize their work in front of others, and make sure they understand they’re appreciated.
Kiss your clean house goodbye. Aside from trying to maintain a healthy environment, toss any hopes of keeping your house clean out the door. That’s all I can say about that. If everyone is wearing clean underwear, you’re in great shape.
TV is your friend. We have screen time limits at home, but sick children get a free pass. I hate it, but a couch potato resting while watching TV allows me to get in a few extra emails or work done. Thanks, Doc McStuffins!
Plan some low key activities – Keep some extra stickers, dollar store toys, etc. around or do a quick Pinterest search for sick kid activities (some a little ambitious, but others are great!) that will keep your child engaged while you are nearby working. An example in our house is pulling out some previously unused cookie cutters that my son used with his Play-doh, and kept him busy for over an hour while we both “worked” at my kitchen table.

Of course, the best way to survive sick season is to skip it all together. Hand washing, any tried and true preventative measures (DMB contributor Darlene and some other moms swear by Elderberry syrup!), oils, whatever you use to keep your family healthy – go for it. That said, there’s only so much you can do with a one year old who puts everything in their mouth. So, my biggest tip is to be appreciative of any and all help or grace from coworkers, and know that the first year is the worst…or so I’m told!

Meet Me at the Barre {Mom’s Night Out}

By

aubreymoon

-

February 21, 2016

We are thrilled to announce our first Meet Me at The Barre event with The Barre Code in Birmingham! Are you ready for a Moms Night Out that will leave you feeling amazing?! Bring your friends or make some new ones! Who doesn’t love a great way to connect with other moms?

I don’t know about you, but with summer right around the corner I am so ready to get back into shape or tone up those trouble spots. I still remember the first time I did Barre and the instant gratification I had from doing it. I felt wonderful and I could tell my body was going to hurt the next day {but in the best way possible}. You don’t have to be a dancer to do barre. You just need two legs, some leggings and a little motivation!

If you {love} barre or you’ve been wanting to try it – this event is for YOU! I promise you’ll leave inspired and ready to take action. The Barre Code gives you the small studio feel and personal attention you deserve. You aren’t just a number! Who needs the gym when you can Meet Me at The Barre!

Barre workouts have become very popular in the Detroit area and for good reason. Lindsay and Janelle, co-owners of The Barre Code in Birmingham, Rochester Hills and Royal Oak, are passionate about bringing this low-impact, full-body workout, designed specifically for women, to as many clients as possible. It’s designed to build lean muscle, stamina and endurance, while working the areas women tend struggle with the most: arms, abs, thighs and of course our “seat.” The Barre Code offers seven classes to choose from; Workouts that combine cardio, strength training, HIIT, and restoration to create a comprehensive workout unlike anything else.

Forget the skinny jeans and ankle booties for this Mom’s Night Out; Think yoga pants and messy buns! Meet Me at The Barre is an event for grown-ups only, but we will be announcing a kid-friendly event very soon!

Leave your insecurities at the door and have fun! Come ready to sweat and laugh with your fellow Detroit mamas! Plus, you’ll have the opportunity to connect with some great local {you know we love local} businesses, take home a swag bag of goodies, and enter to win a TBC-giveaway you’re sure to love.

When: Friday, March 4th from 7:00 to 9:00 pm

Where: The Barre Code – 555 S. Old Woodward, Birmingham, 48009

Cost: $15

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