Making Milk: A Nursing Mama’s Survival Guide

By

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February 29, 2016

Breastfeeding. It’s what your breasts were made for, right? But for so many mothers, including myself, it feels anything but natural – at least at first.

I was able to breastfeed both of my children, but it definitely took some serious effort, asking for help, and -until I figured it out – pain.

My first child had a magical way of making me feel like she was trying to gnaw my nipple off in her enthusiasm to get to my milk. Toes curled and lip bitten, I suffered through it for a few weeks until my husband begged me to quit because I was so miserable. Instead, I called the Breastfeeding Clinic at St. John’s Hospital. That appointment saved my quest for the breast, and I learned how to help correct my daughter’s latch and make nursing pain free. Once we figured it out, I was so grateful to be able to have food for her everywhere we went that was FREE! She nursed for 15 months, until she decided there were more exciting things to do and foods to eat.

When my son was born a few years later, I was hoping for an easier go of it and figured it would be like riding a bike… Well, I was dead wrong. My beautiful boy wanted nothing to do with ANYTHING near his mouth, least of all my breast or even a bottle of my milk. I pumped and finger fed through a tube or dropper for over 6 weeks. During that time we saw the team at the breastfeeding clinic multiple times, our midwife, our pediatrician, and even an occupational therapist. What we succeeded in was getting him to take a bottle willingly, so I pumped for a year to provide my son with my milk.

During the course of my two breastfeeding experiences, I tried every trick, tip, and strategy I could glean from books, friends, lactation consultants, midwives, and of course, the internet!

The following information is what I found most useful to me and women that I know. Please always consult your personal physician before taking any herbs or supplements!

1 – Find support. It definitely takes a village. Speak to friends who have done it, call a lactation consultant, or go to a La Leche League meeting. If you know during pregnancy that you want to breastfeed, have the contact information for these people on hand before you give birth.

2 – Rest. Most new moms will want to slap me for saying this, but it’s the truth. If you don’t find a way to sleep, your milk supply will likely suffer. Let the dishes and the laundry go. Let your toddler watch some TV. ASK FOR HELP so you can SLEEP.

3 – Get adequate nutrition AND fluids. Sometimes in the new baby fog, you forget to put food in your mouth. Keep finger foods available to snack on. Fruits, veggies, string cheese, yogurt, & nuts are fantastic, easy options. You also want to be drinking *at least* half of your body weight in ounces of water, so if you weigh 150lbs, you need at least 75oz of water each day. Caffeinated drinks do not count! Water, herbal teas, soup broth, and fresh juices all count toward your water intake.

4 – If your baby is growing and making dirty diapers, you are probably making enough milk. It’s easy to freak out because you don’t know exactly how many ounces of milk your baby is getting each time he or she nurses. That stress can hinder your production, so trust what is right in front of your eyes – wet diapers, poopy diapers, and that beautiful baby who keeps growing and gaining!

5 – Know that it’s totally normal for your baby to feed often! Newborns have tiny stomachs which don’t have a huge capacity. Your breastmilk is also very easily digestible and passes through your baby’s system quickly, at which point they need more! There is also a capacity related to your breasts and how much milk they can store, and it is not necessarily indicated by their size. If your capacity is on the lower end, your baby may continue to feed often, even when they are older and their stomach is large enough to hold more milk.

6 – If you know your supply is on the lower side, or want to ensure that it stays where it is there are some things to consider, including foods and herbs (known as known as galactogoguges), along with other natural methods that have been used traditionally to encourage milk production:

Breastmilk is made on a demand basis. The more often to feed your baby or pump, the more milk you will make. If you supplement with formula instead of feeding at the breast, your body will naturally make less milk due to the reduced demand. So if you supplement, add in a pump session.
Don’t skip the overnight feedings or pump sessions. As tempting as it may be (and contradictory to survival tip #1) to sleep through the night when your baby night weans, if your milk supply is in question, nurse or pump at least once between 11pm and 6am. This is when your milk making hormone levels of prolactin are highest, and not draining the breast during this time may cause your body to produce less milk.
Oats, barley, beets, carrot juice, almonds, avocados, leafy greens, and brown rice may all help support lactation and are healthy choices, so try including them in your diet daily. There are many lactation cookie recipes to be found on Pinterest that include oats for an easy (and tasty!) way to try and boost your supply.
Herbs that have been traditionally used for supporting lactation include alfalfa, blessed thistle, dandelion root & leaves, marshmallow root, nettle, red raspberry leaves, and fenugreek. Many of these can be found in lactation teas which are sold in health stores for an easy way to incorporate some of these herbs into your diet.
Fennel essential oil, diluted in a carrier oil like olive oil and applied to the breast (not the nipple) 2-3 times per day for a week or two has been successful in promoting supply for many breastfeeding moms that I know.
Take a one day “nursing staycation” – stay in bed for a day with your nursling, snuggling skin-to-skin, nursing, and napping together.

7 – For pumping mamas, know that the amount you pump is not necessarily representative of the amount your baby gets when nursing. Your baby is much more efficient at removing milk from the breast than a machine can ever be. There is a hormonal component that a pump cannot mimic, and some women have a hard time letting down at the pump. Here are some strategies specific to pumping:

Think of your baby, look at pictures or videos on your phone. Keep a receiving blanket or yesterday’s onesie in your pump bag a smell it when you pump.
Make sure that your pump is ready to rock. Check the seals and tubing to make sure they are intact and have good connections. If you pump daily or are an exclusive pumper, know that most “off the shelf” pumps are only meant for light duty use and may lose suction power after 6 months of daily use 3x/day. If your pump is slowing down, it may be time for a replacement or consider renting a hospital grade pump.
Pump for at least 20 minutes, or 5 minutes past the last drop, to ensure that the breasts are drained. Double pumping is most efficient.
Halfway through your pumping session, unhook yourself and jiggle and shake each breast for 30 seconds to help encourage milk flow, then hook back up and finish.
Do breast compressions throughout the pump session.
A “power pump” day can help boost your supply. To do this, leave your pumping gear out and ready to rock, and every time you walk by it, stop and pump for at least 5 minutes.
A time saving tip I wish I had known sooner was to stash pump parts in a large zip top bag and keep them in the fridge between sessions. That way you can wash them at the end of each day and not every time you pump!

Breastfeeding can be challenging, but please know that you’re not alone! Reach out when you need help, whether it be to someone you know or even in an online parenting group. Chances are there’s someone who’s been there too and ready to listen to you.

However you feed your baby, whether bottle or breast, we here at Detroit Moms Blog think you are awesome! What are your best infant feeding tips?

Let’s Talk About Poop, Baby.

By

Courtney

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February 28, 2016

Yes, poop.

I’m just going to dispense with the formal ‘fecal matter’ term, and call a spade a spade. It’s poop. And it’s something that parents of young children deal with. All. The. Time.

Albeit a taboo and unsavory topic, it’s an important one. From the moment your precious little bundle of joy enters the world, through potty training and possibly beyond, poop will be a central topic in your parenting life.

Baby Blowouts
Baby poop provides a direct indication of what is going on with baby’s body, both good and bad. And of course we want to make sure that our newborn child’s body is functioning properly! My husband and I talked more about our first child’s diapers than I would have ever thought possible. I think as parents we are conditioned to do so – both instinctively and because the labor and delivery and pediatric staff at the hospital put us on alert. From those first tar-like, meconium diapers until the mustard seedy breastmilk or pasty infant formula poop appears, new parents are on high alert:

What does it look and smell like?
What color is it?
How many diapers did baby fill?
Is there any blood in the stool?

The ranges of color can be quite shocking! My pediatrician actually has a handout for new mothers on this very topic. If you’re a first time parent, don’t panic; it’s mostly normal for poop to come in an array of browns, yellows and even greens. However, if there is any indication of blood in your baby’s stool, definitely seek medical attention. It could be a sign of an allergy or an indication of lactose intolerance in your little one.

Toddler Toots
Two words: potty training. If you’re lucky, your little one will take to it quickly and go #2 with gusto. I’ve potty trained two children thus far and have yet to fall into that “easy” category, particularly when it comes to poop.

My first son held his poop for a week.
Apparently this is a totally normal reaction when transitioning from diaper to toilet. It may be normal, but it did not appear at all comfortable for my little guy. My husband and I were forced to take drastic measures in the form of a liquid suppository. It was rather dramatic for all parties involved. Thankfully we only had to do it once; our son got the not so subtle hint. If you’ve ever had a similar experience, you know exactly what I’m talking about!

My second son would hold his poop until nap time.
Then he would go in his Pull Up. My little stinker – pun intended – would then occasionally take off said Pull Up and decorate the walls and carpeting of his bedroom with his offering. No, I’m not joking. That industrial carpet cleaner that my husband kept in the basement closet became worth its weight in gold. Here’s the culprit, luxuriating in a bubble bath after one such episode:

Those were dark, dark days. I’m so happy that phase is OVER!

How did we get through this poopy phase?
It took an insane amount of:

Patience
An essential parenting quality that I, unfortunately, do not possess in spades. Potty training definitely tested my limits. For those of you who have patience in abundance, I stand in awe and bow before your expertise. It will take you far!
Bribery
Another essential tactic to have in your parenting arsenal. Some may argue that it’s not fair, but in my book: if it produces results, a little incentive is a-OK. ‘You want that ice cream? Sure! Just as soon as you go poop on the potty; You’d like to play with Mommy’s tablet? Great, then you must sit on the potty.’
Trial and Error
Isn’t this always the way? We have to investigate and discover what works and what doesn’t. My hubby and I found that the normal toilet scared the daylights out of our second little guy, even with his special stool and potty seat. We ended up using a small, portable potty. I even put it in the back of my car in the event of an on-the-go stop. I was worried that my son would never attempt to use the big potty, but he eventually became accustomed to it.

Preschool Poop
Whoever invented the automatic flushing toilet definitely didn’t have a little kid. I have yet to meet a child who doesn’t find that huge, unprompted, loud WHOOSHING sound absolutely terrifying! My boys always thought they were about to be whirled right down the toilet bowl. We had encountered these bathroom gems on occasion, but my son’s hand was never forced. Once he started preschool, however, the automatic potty was his only option. He was petrified. Urinals were thankfully available for #1, but going #2 was a nightmare.

Once we finally weathered that storm, the issue of wiping popped up. My son’s teacher pulled me aside one afternoon and said, “You might want to check his bottom, he went potty and I don’t wipe”. What a mess! What three-year-old is an adept wiper? Other parents agreed – one even asked her son not to go #2 at school. I called the director, furious. I soon learned that by law, the school was not licensed to handle children in that manner. Daycare settings are different, but the structure of our particular preschool wouldn’t allow it. Fair enough. I promptly added “practice wiping” to my to-do list!

A final preschool poop topic of note: children who simply can’t go. Constipation is no joke. It effects many kids, from the toddler years and beyond.

For parents with younger children unable to verbalize their discomfort, it’s pretty much a guessing game:

Are they constipated?
If so, what caused the blockage? (if possible, you want to prevent a repeat performance!)
Now what? What will remedy the situation?

I distinctly recall running to the store for pureed prunes and pear juice at midnight to help alleviate a screaming child who ate too many bananas. Prunes and pears work great for this malady. In cases of chronic constipation, a doctor may also recommend a powdered laxative that can be easily mixed into food (*please don’t try this on your own without medical supervision*).

Poopy Tips
My middle child had an absolute poopy disaster right through his lovely, white, starched baptismal outfit . It happened in the car on the way to the ceremony, completely unbeknownst to us! The lovely matching hat and shoes were still intact but the outfit was beyond destroyed, and I didn’t have a second set of clothing. I learned an invaluable lesson that day: always pack spare clothes! Here are a few more tips:

Keep prunes and pears – pureed or in juice form – on hand from the time infant cereal is introduced.
Practice wiping while potty training. Yes, it’s easier and cleaner to do it yourself but it’s a skill that must be mastered.
Hydrogen peroxide mixed with warm water in a spray bottle + baby wipes removes poop stains from carpeting and mattresses
Probiotics (in powdered form) are helpful to restoring a healthy GI tract/eliminating diarrhea, particularly after a round of antiobiotics
Beware of pectin in commercial applesauces and fruit purees, it’s a hidden constipator
Baby wipes aren’t just for babies
Liquid suppositories aren’t fun, but they get the job done. Pediatric brands are readily available.
Fruit = fiber = good flow.
Skid marks are inevitable. Keep your laundry stain remover on hand.
Providing a little incentive for your little one to go on the potty just might help to maintain your sanity.
Poop accident in a car seat? More than likely, the seat is destroyed. Getting the stain & smell out of the foam padding is next to impossible.
Invest in a mattress protector.
Always keep a spare set of clothes in your diaper bag!

Are you a parent weathering the trials and tribulations of poop? What phase are you in: baby, toddler or preschool? Maybe you’re potty training? Share your wit and wisdom with us!

Destination: Detroit Outdoor Adventure Center

By

Kate Bell

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February 25, 2016

Outdoor Adventure Center: Detroit, Michigan.

I have to say, I was never one of the moms who thought about hosting my kids birthday party anywhere but home; I know, crazy right. However, the anxiety I would get going to a bouncy birthday party left me in a state that was not so great. Plus I have a kid who pukes 8 out of 10 times when he attends a party at said bouncy environments. Nothing says fun like a bag of puke, always in the car, after hours of chaos and sugar. If you are one of those parents who can (and does) host parties in these bouncy locations, my props to you – you are way stronger than me.

Enter the year of my kids turning 5 and 8. Turning 5 in our family means a friend birthday party. The 8 year old was just a bonus party…but he doesn’t need to know. Our sons have many friends that overlap – siblings, classmates, etc. so hosting party for their community was the no-brainer. However, WHERE to do so was my next question. (Remember, no bouncy party…)

While on a work assignment, I came across the Outdoor Adventure Center in Downtown Detroit. What?! I could see the Ren Cen as I walked toward the building. I made the mental note to check it out more, as it was closed the day I was there.

After the research, planning, and the actual party – here are my top 10 thoughts:

You have to go. Today. (well, not on Monday or Tuesday, as they are closed: check the hours HERE)
We love being outside, all things Michigan and being Up North – however, hosting a party with that theme, in November, in Michigan was not an easy thing to pull off. Though, that day, the weather was great and we could have totally been REALLY outside. Besides the point – read point 3:
Have the OAC host your next kiddo birthday party
So easy, so fun. So very affordable too! They even make the goodie bags.
The coordinator we worked with was so kind, helpful and accommodating. We were welcomed at the desk, the room was ready; we choose to bring a collection of balloons, and birthday books for table decorations; however the room was rustic and festive enough without anything extra being needed.
There is an Elk in the “lodge room” – very cool was the reply for all who entered.
We brought cupcakes and juice boxes. The party was between meal times, simplifying the set up.
The program that was part of the birthday package was fantastic. The party guide brought a cart in of lots of nature discovery items: pelts, bones, skulls, etc. and engaged the kids for a good 30 minutes of questions, answers and lessons. After the program, she had the kids all gather around the table and created a HUGE collection of foot prints with ink stamps. (would suggest having a pack of baby wipes handy to quickly clean the mess…) My sons have hung this creation in their Lego room.
Then we got to go EXPLORE! The kids (and grownups) were GONE! So much to see, explore, do and learn about on the 3 levels of the renovated building.
Everything is HANDS ON – climbing, riding, building, sorting, all sorts of ways to learn and grow.

Bottom line – GO! Explore. Support. I am looking forward to getting back ‘Up North, Downtown’ this winter. My kids are too!

The OAC has a great video that introduces you to the center:

Best Sledding Hills In + Around the D

By

Elizabeth Lewis

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February 25, 2016

Can you believe the amount of snow we’ve gotten since yesterday morning?! After the mild winter we’ve had it’s a little nice to get some snow before winter disappears. We do live in Michigan so the unpredictable weather that drives us nuts is also what we’ve come to love about Michigan. The fact that we can be in sweatshirts + flip-flops one day and a snowsuit + boots the next is pretty remarkable! Let’s celebrate this snow day with our kids (you know they’ve been planning it from the time they heard Winter Storm Warning) and venture onto one of our great sledding hills. So grab your saucer and get ready to race down one of these hills at record speeds or choose a mellow hill and just take easy. Either way, lets hope the sun is shining (Vitamin D is a must) and memories are made!

Beverly Hills

Beverly Park Sled Hill

18801 Beverly Road, Beverly Hills, Michigan 48025

Birmingham

Booth Park

Southwest intersection of Old Woodward and Harmon

Lincoln Hills Golf

2666 W 14 Mile Rd, Birmingham, MI 48009

Clinton Township

Clinton Township Civic Center Park

40700 Romeo Plank Rd, Clinton Township, Michigan 48038

Farmington Hills

Heritage Park

24915 Farmington Rd. Farmington Hills

Shiawassee Park

32340 Shiawassee St. Shiawassee Park. Farmington, Michigan 48336

Grosse Pointe

Vernier Hill

Lake Orion

Jesse Decker Park

1335 Joslyn Road, Lake Orion, Michigan 48360

Madison Heights

Civic Center Park

300 W 13 Mile Rd, Madison Heights, Michigan, 48071

Milford

Kensington Metro Park

2240 W. Buno Road Milford, MI 48380

New Baltimore

Maynard “Red”Aurand Memorial Park

34900 Huntley Drive and 24 Mile Road,New Baltimore, MI 48051

Northville Twp.

Cass Benton

Edward Hines Drive (Between 6 and 7 mile rd)

Oakland

Lost Lake Nature

846 Lost Lake Trail, Oakland, MI 48363

Oak Park

Hamilton Hill at Shepherd Park

Corner of Oak Park Blvd. and Church

Rochester

Bloomer Park

375 John R. Road, Rochester Hills, Michigan 48309

Borden Park

East side of John R Rd between Hamlin Rd and Auburn Rd, Rochester Hills, MI

Shelby

Stoney Creek Metropark

4300 Main Park Road, Shelby Township, MI 48316

Waterford

Waterford Oaks

1702 Scott Lake Road, Waterford, MI 48328

West Bloomfield

Marshbank Park

2805 Hiller Road, West Bloomfield, MI 48324

White Lake

Indian Spring Metropark

5200 Indian Trail, White Lake, MI 48386

Ypsilanti

Rolling Hills

7660 Stony Creek Rd, Ypsilanti, MI 48197

Did we miss a hill that needs to be on this list? If we did, comment below and we’ll add it in!

Dear Daughter

By

Francina

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February 23, 2016

Dear Daughter

Almost every night after I lay with you to sleep, I sit there and just stare at you. Your beauty is so innocent and so pure. I think of your smile and the way you get happy if you see a brand new box of Apple Jacks in the pantry. Little things mean so much to you, and I just want to hold on to this age forever.

The way you sleep with just a little nightgown on and wake up in the morning with your hair all in tangles and little crusties in your eyes. You wake up an extra hour early almost every morning just to see me before I go to work. Getting you ready every morning is the highlight of my day.

The way you look at yourself with happiness when you finally get the last tangle out of your hair and with not one trace of makeup, you look so beautiful.

I can’t help but worry about the years to come when you start to doubt how beautiful you truly are. When other peoples’ opinions start to matter to you, when you start to ask me to wear makeup and worry if your clothes fit right. I just wish you could always see yourself the way I see you.

The day you were born I couldn’t stop staring at your sweet innocent face and how much you have grown in 7 years amazes me. Watching you play and laugh with your little sister or how much you care and love your grandparents – your genuine beautiful heart takes my breath away.

The truth is that I learn so much from you every single day. I learn that I need to smile a little more like you, love life a little more like you and to be happy all the time – like you. It is so easy to fall into the gloomy days of this world. To be negative and to worry, to cry but if I was just a little bit more like you, my beautiful daughter, I would be able to appreciate and live life a little bit more.

I pray that no matter what life throws your way, or how hard it can get, that you never lose that little sparkle in your eye and the passion and love you have for the world. I hope you always know how beautiful you really are.

Because one day I know you won’t believe me.

Finding the Blessings

By

Kim C.

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February 22, 2016

When you are awoken at 2:30 am by a large “Whoomp” noise that shakes your house, followed by the smell of something burning, it’s hard to see a blessing in it. When you find yourself at an all night super store at 3am buying a carbon monoxide detector so you can sleep peacefully, it seems a rather large inconvenience. When at last you get the furnace folks to tell you that it will cost a few thousand dollars to install a new one just a few short weeks after you have replaced the dishwasher that leaked water, and the microwave that quit, a silver lining seems black.

I freely admit I am not always good at seeing the blessings in things when they happen. For some things I may never see it, but I do believe there is a blessing, a lesson or an opportunity in everything if you look for it. Things go wrong, pretty much daily. Like anyone else my first instinct is to say, “REALLY?!” It’s easy to get mired down in the why me and why now? But when I look through calmer eyes I can see like most things, this was not a tragedy. Tragedy would be being unable to get this fixed, being unable to provide warmth and comfort for my family. I think if you look around you, and I mean right near you, you can see how blessed you are in the heartbreaking things that happen to our loved ones everyday. From the co-worker who just lost her mother; the friend whose son was born with a heart defect and the neighbor who was laid off from their job.

My grandmother used to say, “If all you look for is the bad, that’s all you’ll ever find.” I try to remember that. So, I stop. I slow down. Have a cup of coffee (or wine) reset and calm myself and try to look for the good. What I find is the friend who lost her mother but was able to have a few months of time to share her newborn son before she passed. I watch in awe of the boy with the heart condition who soldiers on through every surgery and teaches everyone around him about strength and hope; and the neighbor who is now pursuing a dream of owning their own business. Some days I am able to see my blessings through the trials of others, some days my trials can serve as a reminder to them. That is the ebb and flow of life.

Whether you believe things happen for a reason or that it’s all just a big crapshoot; if you try to adopt this perspective of looking for some good in anything (and some days are a real challenge to do it) it can really take a bad situation and soften it. It doesn’t solve the issue at hand but it can make it easier to bear.

It allows you to appreciate the 24 hour super store when the furnace installer tells you that these old furnaces are prone to carbon monoxide in these circumstances. It helps you jump for joy when he pulls a corroded and cracked gas line from under your house and tells you that the broken furnace and the broken gas line have nothing to do with each other but that without one you wouldn’t have known about the other until your house exploded. That’s a blessing that was easy to find.

Surviving “Sick Season” as a Working Parent

By

Erin Piper

-

February 21, 2016

The first time my son was sick from daycare, it was a “drop everything” moment to scoop him up, bring him home for a warm drink and cuddling until he fell asleep. Now, when daycare calls with report of a sick kid, there’s a little battle between my husband and me that sounds something like this: “Really? You can’t miss that meeting? Are you suuuure?”

I actually lost count of how many times my kids were sick in January, but I do know that my youngest had pinkeye, an ear infection, upper respiratory infection, random virus that turned into a rash (roseola for the win!), and…maybe something else? I honestly don’t remember. Throw in a virus for my son that kept him home two separate days, and we haven’t had a week all month where both kids were healthy. I actually began writing this piece two sicknesses ago, if that tells you anything about what a shock our first winter in daycare has been!

This “sickness season” during our first winter in daycare has been a huge source of stress. I had heard over and over that “daycare kids are always sick,” but I don’t think you can really understand what this means until you’ve lived it.

I realize that there are parents who deal with far greater health issues in their kids on a daily basis, so I am not trying to be overly dramatic, but hope to give any other parents approaching their first “sick season” some insight.

Thankfully, my husband has a great employer, and I’ve been able to fit much of my client work (I’m self employed) around sicknesses and catch up in the evenings. We certainly don’t have a perfect system for dealing with sickness (and probably never will), but in hindsight, there are a few things you can do to help get through sick season.

When you’re in a situation like I am (you don’t work, you don’t get paid…but you still have to pay for daycare!), it was really important to find the right balance between giving a sick kid the attention they need, and finding a way to work so you can pay the bills and keep your clients. Trust your judgement, and that you’ll be able to figure out when you’re most needed, and when your child is okay to rest in the same room while you plunk out some work!

That said, here are my top tips! If this is your first season in daycare (it was mine!), I hope this helps you plan for those rough winter months!

Work with your partner to schedule your most important meetings on alternate days. Obviously some of this is beyond your control, but to the extent that it is, it will make it a lot easier for one person to stay home.
Add a bit to your budget. Sick season was PRICEY. Not only do I have to pay for daycare even if my kids don’t attend, I bill my clients for the time I work…so if I don’t work, I don’t get paid. Yikes. Add in co-pays, prescription costs, any other costs, and it adds up quickly!
Say “SURE!” any time someone offers to help. Obviously, you’ll enlist any family members who offer to help. Also say “yes, please!” to friends who offer to drive over with a cup of coffee to keep you going, or run through the drive through to keep you fed.
Don’t ever assume it’s over! After every sickness, I assumed “phew, now we can get back to normal!” And seven or more times, I was wrong. I recommend assuming that sicknesses will continue to pop up over the rough winter months and adjusting your work as much as possible to accommodate, rather than keep pushing things back and assume the next week will be better.
Be a good coworker and employee. I’m self-employed so I’m in a slightly different position than many folks, but I do have a few colleagues for some projects, and they have helped me out tremendously. In cases where others have to pick up your slack, try to make it up to them during other times of the year, recognize their work in front of others, and make sure they understand they’re appreciated.
Kiss your clean house goodbye. Aside from trying to maintain a healthy environment, toss any hopes of keeping your house clean out the door. That’s all I can say about that. If everyone is wearing clean underwear, you’re in great shape.
TV is your friend. We have screen time limits at home, but sick children get a free pass. I hate it, but a couch potato resting while watching TV allows me to get in a few extra emails or work done. Thanks, Doc McStuffins!
Plan some low key activities – Keep some extra stickers, dollar store toys, etc. around or do a quick Pinterest search for sick kid activities (some a little ambitious, but others are great!) that will keep your child engaged while you are nearby working. An example in our house is pulling out some previously unused cookie cutters that my son used with his Play-doh, and kept him busy for over an hour while we both “worked” at my kitchen table.

Of course, the best way to survive sick season is to skip it all together. Hand washing, any tried and true preventative measures (DMB contributor Darlene and some other moms swear by Elderberry syrup!), oils, whatever you use to keep your family healthy – go for it. That said, there’s only so much you can do with a one year old who puts everything in their mouth. So, my biggest tip is to be appreciative of any and all help or grace from coworkers, and know that the first year is the worst…or so I’m told!

Meet Me at the Barre {Mom’s Night Out}

By

aubreymoon

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February 21, 2016

We are thrilled to announce our first Meet Me at The Barre event with The Barre Code in Birmingham! Are you ready for a Moms Night Out that will leave you feeling amazing?! Bring your friends or make some new ones! Who doesn’t love a great way to connect with other moms?

I don’t know about you, but with summer right around the corner I am so ready to get back into shape or tone up those trouble spots. I still remember the first time I did Barre and the instant gratification I had from doing it. I felt wonderful and I could tell my body was going to hurt the next day {but in the best way possible}. You don’t have to be a dancer to do barre. You just need two legs, some leggings and a little motivation!

If you {love} barre or you’ve been wanting to try it – this event is for YOU! I promise you’ll leave inspired and ready to take action. The Barre Code gives you the small studio feel and personal attention you deserve. You aren’t just a number! Who needs the gym when you can Meet Me at The Barre!

Barre workouts have become very popular in the Detroit area and for good reason. Lindsay and Janelle, co-owners of The Barre Code in Birmingham, Rochester Hills and Royal Oak, are passionate about bringing this low-impact, full-body workout, designed specifically for women, to as many clients as possible. It’s designed to build lean muscle, stamina and endurance, while working the areas women tend struggle with the most: arms, abs, thighs and of course our “seat.” The Barre Code offers seven classes to choose from; Workouts that combine cardio, strength training, HIIT, and restoration to create a comprehensive workout unlike anything else.

Forget the skinny jeans and ankle booties for this Mom’s Night Out; Think yoga pants and messy buns! Meet Me at The Barre is an event for grown-ups only, but we will be announcing a kid-friendly event very soon!

Leave your insecurities at the door and have fun! Come ready to sweat and laugh with your fellow Detroit mamas! Plus, you’ll have the opportunity to connect with some great local {you know we love local} businesses, take home a swag bag of goodies, and enter to win a TBC-giveaway you’re sure to love.

When: Friday, March 4th from 7:00 to 9:00 pm

Where: The Barre Code – 555 S. Old Woodward, Birmingham, 48009

Cost: $15

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“But I Can’t”: Taking Self-Doubt off the Map.

By

annacenti

-

February 18, 2016

“I can’t.”

“It’s too hard.”

The lack of self-confidence is deafening – intrusive and bossy – taking over the mind, the soul, the spirit. The body paralyzed by fear, the mind crippled by the flood of what can go wrong. It threatens the future, spoils the present and drags the baggage of the past along with it. Past failures are doomed to be a reoccurring theme. The words “you can’t”, “you won’t” and “that’s not for you” carry with them a heavy torrent of expected disappointment and failure – the kind that makes dreams blurry at best, goals wash away and accomplishment seem like it’s in the rear view mirror, becoming more and more distant.

The most devastating part is that these feelings are often in the hearts and minds of young people – children right on the cusp of realizing who they are and who they want to be. How do we fix this before it sets our future on a misguided and tumultuous course?

How do we prevent this negativity from seeping into the minds of our young people? How do we reroute the GPS and send kids north of their own expectations and take self-doubt off the map?

TOUGH LOVE. I have a confession to make. I didn’t go into teaching for the summers off and the sweet 7-3 schedule (yeah…not so much). I went into it because I had a few people who were RELENTLESS in pushing me to my potential, and then some. I went into teaching because I was willing to do the same: to be that annoying voice saying ‘do this again’, ‘this isn’t your best’, ‘what were you thinking’?

I went into teaching to HEAR my students when they need to let it out, guide them when they are lost (even if they don’t know it).

I went into teaching because I know it’s more than the books, more than the homework and assessments, Common Core and data. It’s about being tough when you need to be, so that students will grow and become productive members of this world – not just academically, but in their community, to one another. And you know what? Those 15-hour work days and up-all-nights are ALL.WORTH.IT because of the self-doubt I can erase, the growth I can celebrate and the smiles I get to make happen.

STUBBORNNESS. Be willing to let them try it again, do it again. Don’t GIVE THEM THE OPTION TO DO ANYTHING LESS THAN THEIR ABSOLUTE BEST. Be willing to be hated – and then loved. Be willing to be IGNORED and then wait for it…THEY HEARD YOU. IT SANK IN.

PRESENCE. Be REAL. BE RAW. BE THERE. You would be surprised how making it to a basketball game or coming to hear a science fair presentation changes things. Children see that THEY MATTER. This carries more power than anything else. Because feeling like you don’t matter can stifle, damage, and hinder EVERYTHING ELSE.

REAL CONVERSATIONS. CONNECTIONS. Take the time share stories with kids. They NEED THAT CONNECTION to learn. Often, it is the difference between ENGAGEMENT and “let’s get this over with.”

This is what will get your students to come back to you. The ones who drove you bananas will come back adjusted, and they REMEMBER your stories. They will apply it to new learning. You gave them the GIFT of background, of perspective and of TIME. Take the time to find out what they like, what makes them tick, and for heaven sake – use IT, integrate IT, let them share IT. Get them talking about IT.

Lastly, but most definitely not least – BE EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED, WANTED, DIDN’T HAVE IN A TEACHER. I personally had a teacher in high school tell me I couldn’t become skilled in math. It wasn’t until college that someone saw something. A professor at U of M – Dearborn turned my mindset upside down. She told me that the very reason you MUST pursue mathematics as part of your specializations is because you understand and identify with the struggle. You see, she read my explanations of what I would do to help a struggling student – and she wrote on my final exam…”You Must Do This.” I was fortunate because she challenged me to question one person’s opinion – one opinion that shaped my whole perception of what I was and what I was good at – for YEARS. What if I wasn’t so lucky? See this Professor of mine (gosh I hope she reads this and I hope it fills her heart with joy) MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE in my world – and consequentially in the lives of others – the children I get to teach – whether it is in a math course or an ELA course – with English Language Learners or not.

My professor reset my compass and set me on a new course. I tell this story to my students. I promise them that I will be relentless when they start to slip. I promise to BE THERE, and I am. I share my life with them daily, and that, my friends, may not seem like much, but its impact will be heard and felt in years to come. Thankfully, I am not alone. I work with some seriously unsung heroes – that are more family than friends. They have a combination of skill and heart that is undoubtedly unique unto its own. For this, I and the kids are equally blessed.

Do YOU have a teacher who shaped or guided your education, who pushed you to be ALL that you could be?

Bye Bye Babies: When You’re Done Having Kids

By

Erica B

-

February 18, 2016

I always thought I’d have a big family. After having two children, I never expected that I’d be done having babies. I’d always loved the idea of that mom with four or five kids, happily immersed in chaos and sticky kisses. But even though I met my future husband when I was only 22, we didn’t have our first child until I was almost 30.

And in that hazy, sleepless first year of parenthood, there were MANY times when we looked at each other and said, ‘maybe one is enough’.

Eventually, as our daughter became more independent and we started sleeping in longer stretches, that legendary amnesia happened. We forgot how hard that first part was, as we were so enamored with this amazing and fun little person. Our daughter was that easy breezy baby, who was always happy and surprisingly even tempered. It was her fault that baby fever hit us. Why wouldn’t we want another fun kid like her?

Fast forward a couple of years and I was pregnant again. I was three years older, and pregnancy wasn’t as much fun. It wasn’t all pedicures and shopping trips. My husband had started traveling and my career had advanced too. I had several miscarriage scares during the 1st and 2nd trimesters, and having lost two other pregnancies, I was paranoid. All that being said, I never imagined that this baby would be the last.

But here I am almost three years later, and I’m 99.9% sure that there will be no more beautiful babies. My husband is 110% sure, but I can be quite convincing when I want something badly enough. My son was not the easy infant my daughter was. He was what I call a ‘stage 5 clinger’. He wouldn’t sleep without me and ONLY wanted ME. He couldn’t breastfeed;I pumped for his first year to provide him with my milk, which took a huge amount of time away from my already busy day.

As my son transitioned from my Siamese mini-twin into a mercurial toddler, my husband and I couldn’t help but compare him to his happy-go-lucky big sister who did everything early and easily:

He didn’t say much other than ‘mama’ and shriek in frustration until he was close to two.
He could be fun when he wasn’t frustrated about us not knowing what he wanted, and was always affectionate…
But I frequently compared him to a Sour Patch Kid and often sang to him a song I wrote myself called, ‘Bi-polar Baby’.

When my son was about 15-months-old I went back to school and began to work on starting my own small business. I’m closer to 40 than I am 30 (sigh). I want to give my kids opportunities to find activities they love. I spend about half the time parenting solo due to my husband’s work travel. And I like sleep. Precious sleep. All of these reasons, and more, recently got me to the point where I told my husband it was time for the ‘ol snip snip. I actually said it out loud and to his face. It was shocking to me, but he was ready to make the appointment right then and there.

So here it is. No more babies. Sorry uterus, you can weep all you like at the sight of sweet chubby cherubs, but the shop is closed for baby making business. And I’m finally really good with that.

As I look at my first-grader and almost 3-year-old these days, I may have bittersweet feelings about no more babies. Then I remember how grateful I am for sleeping until eight o’clock on Sundays, and little people who can communicate their wants and needs instead of just screaming at me. They are FUN and smart, and one can wipe her own behind now. It’s magical to get to witness their lives and watch them grow. They tell me stupidly silly jokes and are still little enough to want hugs and give sloppy kisses.

It was an exhaustively beautiful experience parenting my kids through their first years, but I’m ready to move on. So… bye bye babies, so long.

Can YOU relate? Share your stories with us!