Two things I know for sure:

1) Financial situations require open communication between all involved parties.

2) __(can you guess?)_________  has significantly lowered the amount of gaps in communication with my husband.

As August wrapped up, my husband and I were faced with an increase in our monthly rent and once again were looking at our finances.  For a family of three with both adults working full-time, we certainly are the stereotypical “living paycheck to paycheck” American family.  I seriously don’t know how we were scraping by, especially with the size of our TWO car payments and cell phone bill on top of rent.  Those four bills alone appeared to be consuming close to one-third of our monthly income.  Add car insurance on top of that and I was pretty confident that half of our income was being thrown out the window.

Somehow we needed to figure out a way to change what we were spending money on if we wanted to get out of our 550 sq foot- one-bedroom-apartment.  {Yes, there are two adults, a toddler, a cat and a dog living in a one-bedroom apartment in Westland.  It’s cozy and we call it home. I’m blessed to have a roof over our heads.}  Heck, we needed to figure out a way to have a bit of extra money available for car repairs we are anticipating before the end of the year.  Not to mention that one of our vehicles is a lease and is due to be turned back in to the dealership in early February.  {EEK! Yes, there’s a ton of pressure on my shoulders just putting these thoughts in writing.}

Now, let me be clear.  I knew how to budget from a calendar to figure out which paycheck to pull money from to pay a bill.  And I always made sure bills were paid before money started to be used for eating out or entertainment.  I could very easily write down an expense list and deduct it from our income.  What I was not doing efficiently was budgeting savings.  In my mind, savings meant money for the future.  It didn’t mean money for a specific activity or event that was already predetermined and we could start collecting funds now.

I had to change this cycle.  I had to add in these extra things to our weekly budget.  Things like car repairs, gymnastics class, coffee money, etc.

What would you do in this situation?  Stay tuned to see exactly what we did in our home to make a drastic change.

I LOVE celebrating my kiddos!  Their birthdays are usually full of little extras from mom.  I can go, well, just a little overboard when it comes to their birthdays.  I am a DIY’er but usually leave everything to the last minute, which happens to be a stressful combination.  Luckily every party I plan the process has become easier than the last.  I find myself asking the same questions every time and I usually only take on simple projects anymore!  I guess you could say I am always looking for the easy way out!

I also like to find ways to get the birthday boy involved and excited about his special celebration.  The boys enjoy looking at Pinterest along with me when I am searching for inspiration, we talk about the theme, decorations, and dessert.  We also talk about what their favorite flavor “of the month” is!  This gets them involved and I can then make the final decisions knowing they are going to be thrilled with the details!

I wanted to pass along a Birthday Party Checklist.  I use this list to help me think through EVERYTHING!  I hope you can use it too when you’re are planning your next party.  This list will help with both BIG events at fabulous venues and little celebrations at home!  Believe me, you can rest assure you have thought of it all once you get through this list!

{Here are a few photos of my little guys Rock and Roll Fishing Party!  He LOVES fishing and LOVES music, we asked our guests to bring their fishing poles for a fishing contest!  His Nana turned the mini cupcakes into a guitar and I turned the grapes and chocolate covered pretzels into drum sticks.  His favorite dessert over the summer was a Boston Cooler + Root Beer Float, we used mason jars and made each of our guests a yummy ice cream float!  And he wanted pizza, of course, another one of his favorite things!  A few balloons along with his friends and family made this day perfect and ALL about him!}

Birthday Party Checklist

(2-3 Months Before)

• Set Party Date + Time
• Decide On A Budget
• Create Guest List
• Select Theme
• Book Venue If Not At Home
• Reserve Rental Chairs, Tables, etc.
• Order Invitations, Paper, Photo Booth Props +/or Party Printable’s
• Book Entertainment {bounce house, character, face paint, etc.}
• Order Birthday Cake
• Book Photographer, or ask a friend!

(1 Month Before)

• Send Invitations
• Plan Your Menu + Party Décor
• See What Party Décor + Kitchen Items You Have On Hand, borrow from friends!

(1 Week Before)

• Shop For Supplies + Goodie Bags
• Print + Assemble Party Printable’s/Photo Booth Props
• Purchase Non-Perishable Food
• Confirm Details With Your Vendors
• Write Up A Day of Schedule + Activities
• Test Run Any Specialty Tables {without food!}

(1 Day Before)

• Clean house, Set Out Clean Towels + Extra Toilet paper
• Make Sure Camera Is Charged + Ready
• Stop By ATM For Cash {entertainers, day of errands}
• Package Party Favors
• Pick Up or Bake Birthday Cake
• Place Food Order (pizza, sub, etc.)
• Go Grocery Shopping

(Day of Party)

• Buy Party Ice
• Set Up Balloons, Streamers, Table, Decorations, etc.
• Prepare Last Minute Food
• Chill Drinks
• Set Out Garbages, etc.

(1 Hour Before)

• Put Out All Food + Dessert
• Turn On i-Pod
• Sit Down, Relax + Enjoy!

Laundry week 2

Scent boosters and dryer sheets

 As we continue our venture into penny pinching and becoming more frugal I thought we should continue with my personal favorite {note sarcasm} Laundry. Now that we are spending only pennies a load let’s make sure that its smelling its best!

I have a few different methods of scrimping when it comes to dryer sheets or laundry boosters.

 First Method: Stretch that store bought laundry booster

Now some of us can’t step away from our chemical laden favorite store bought scents! Now I can’t save you from those chemicals {its ok I’m guilty of this too!} Some of these are little wax like pellets while others are “crystals”. After browsing my favorite app {ok I may be a slight addict} Pinterest, I noticed a lot of peeps in the blog world found the crystals are actually Epsom salt! Well my favorite are the wax style but I thought why can’t I just add Epsom salt to my wax boosters?! Off to the laundry room I went and grabbed the trusty bottle of boosters and noticed it’s about 1/3 full, perfect! I added Epsom salt to almost fill it, shut that bad boy and shook it like a polaroid picture…ok maybe not but it sounded good!

Next day when I went to so laundry it was perfect…ALL of the Epsom salt smelled great and I didn’t lose any of its strength! So one bottle of booster was $7.99 and I went big and bought the huge bucket of Epsom salt at Sams club, 10lbs for only $6.98!!

Second Method: Using favorite store bought fabric softener

I personally have never been a fabric softener person {who has time to remember to stop the load to put it in or to toss that ball in}. But on my many hours pursuing, yep you guessed it, Pinterest I found many ways to “make your own” dryer sheets. And it’s so easy! One method is to cut a standard sponge into 4 pieces and then soak in fabric softener, now you can store in airtight container soaking or not. When it’s time just toss one in and dry away! Another method is the same but using rags or “Handiwipes” cut to size and soaked.

Third Method: Make your own laundry boosters

For those of us who want to decrease our family’s exposure to chemicals this is a great way to have fun smelling laundry! Personally I like using Epsom salts here but I’ve also seen mixing essential oils with white distilled vinegar. With the vinegar take about 2 cups and mix 10-12 drops of your fave oils. Then go with the sponge or rag method. For the Epsom salt method take 2 cups of Epsom salts and 20-24 drops of your favorite oils. My personal favorite blend is lavender and lemon or Purification & lemongrass from Young Living.

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Well those are my penny pinching ideas to boost that fresh laundry smell! I am sure I missed a few and would love to hear your methods! Hope this saves you some $$s and we see you next week for another

Frugal Fridays with Brandi!

This fall, let’s walk to the end of cancer by joining The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s Light The Night Walk fundraising campaign, which brings together families and communities to honor blood cancer survivors, as well as those lost to the diseases, and to shine a light on finding cures and providing access to treatments for blood cancer patients.

One group that deserves our attention is children with cancer. Leukemia is the most common cancer in children and adolescents less than 20 years old. While extraordinary progress has been made in blood cancer treatments, the journey back to a healthy life can be a long one. For these kids, returning to school means additional challenges, including maintaining friendships and keeping up with schoolwork.

Here’s how we can do it:

This year, Sylvan Learning is partnering with The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society through Light The Night, with a commitment to raise $250,000 and to donate more than 12,000 hours of free tutoring services in nearly 200 communities nationwide to help young blood cancer patients and their families with the transition back into academics. You can help them to achieve these goals:

There are nearly 200 Light the Night walks nationwide this fall. It’s easy to walk by registering and joining a team.

Learn more about how LLS and Sylvan are helping young cancer patients and their families manage. Light The Night

                Find a walk in your area, and join a Sylvan Learning walk team in supporting this great cause.

I’m going to join Light the Night with my family. Won’t you join us? Let’s all walk to the end of cancer and, at the same time, you can help kids get back into the swing of school, often while they are still undergoing treatment.

Before my mom was diagnosed with colorectal cancer we volunteered for our first cancer walk in 1998  in honor of a family friend’s daughter who was diagnosed as a child with  Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia.   She is a shining star today, she glows with her strength and courage and her amazing smile. She had to overcome so many obstacles as a young child who was sick with a terrible disease.  Seeing a child who has to fight something that is completely out of their control allows you to gain a bold perspective on life and the word strength.  Watching a child suffer is heart wrenching no matter whose child it is.  Tanya shines with her strength and determination to enjoy life and help others in need of support. 

Please check out this Light The Night campaign to end cancer, and read a message from Tanya and my story about where cancer lead me after my mom was diagnosed. 

“No matter how intense your struggle may be, someone is being inspired by your fight. Your story and courage is equipping them to see life though a completely different lens.” -Anonymous. ✨❤️ To all of you fighters out there, keep fighting.  ~Tanya

Today I am sharing some stories that will tug at your heart a little.  We were asked by the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Light the Night Campaign to share personal stories about cancer, and I have a few…  The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society has partnered with Sylvan Learning Society through Light The Night, with a commitment to raise $250,000 and to donate more than 12,000 hours of free tutoring services in nearly 200 communities nationwide to help young blood cancer patients and their families with the transition back into academics.

When thinking about cancer I immediately think about my beautiful friend Tanya.  I walked my first cancer walk in Brighton when she was a little girl fighting this disease.  She brought you all a little message today!   Tanya is truly an inspiration.

We could all use a little reminder sometimes that its important to be kind to others because everyone we meet is battling something….

Hello! My name is Tanya Kottong. I am 22 years old and have been cancer free for 13 years. In May of 1998 I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia. From then on, I was homeschooled until second grade. When I went back to school I was extremely self conscious. I was made fun of for not having hair and looking like a boy. The University of Michigan hospital in Ann Arbor sent in one of the nurses from the pediatric oncology team to my classroom. She gave a presentation explaining to all of the other children what cancer is, and it is not contagious, like kids think everything is. As an 8 year old girl, this presentation changed my life. The kids stopped making fun of me and it allowed me to grow and be confident in myself again. After I finished treatment, I had to continue to attend follow up doctor appointments for 10 additional years. Even though I hated going, these doctor appointments gave me comfort in knowing that I was still okay. A few years ago the doctors officially cleared me and sent me on my way, I was officially a survivor!

Since then, I have used my horrible experience with cancer to benefit the lives of others. The past three years I have volunteered at a summer camp called Camp Quality. Camp Quality is a camp for kids from the ages of four to 18 who are suffering, or have suffered, with cancer. I went to the camp as a volunteer to get paired with a younger child going through the same struggle I experienced at a young age. The camp is one week long and you get to be paired one-on-one with a child for the week. It is an amazing bonding experience. The camp is located on Lake Ann in Traverse City, Michigan and it is incredibly beautiful. There are so many things for the kids to do all week! They provide high ropes courses, a water front with boats and water slides into the lake, arts and crafts, putt-putt, and so much more. The motto of the camp is ‘letting kids with cancer be kids again.’ Although I did not attend as a child going through cancer, the camp helped me just as much as an adult. It is truly amazing the amount of strength and how happy a young child can be in a situation that would terrify anyone.

Whoever is reading this, wherever you are, do not give up. As horrible and scary as cancer is, it can be beat. Having my friends and family by my side, supporting me and treating me as normal as possible is what really helped me through. A simple hand made card can brighten someone’s day a whole lot more than you would think. Whether you are battling personally, or standing by a loved one who is, do not stop fighting.

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Oh, and do not buy a wig! They are hot and itchy, plus your bald head is a beauty mark telling the world just how much of a fighter you are. 🙂

Growing up I always felt like cancer kept a safe distance from my family home. Fortunately for us, cancer wasn’t something we felt plagued with.

As time went on and as I grew up the “C” word started inching its way closer and closer, until one day the words that no one ever wants to hear were spoken to me…your mom has cancer. Cancer made its way in. Into our family home, into our lives, and life as we knew would never be the same.

Life was about to get hard and really kinda depressing.

Her diagnosis was colorectal cancer.

At the time she was diagnosed my husband and I had our first child, he was about 7 months old. I was on cloud 9 being a “new” mom, I had my family and I was taking care of them, I was the “mom”. I also had our happy little nest and a career to tend to. I was a working mom and had the great fortune of my son’s Grandma was not only “Nana” but she was also his “Nanny”. It was what made the decision to work acceptable in my opinion.

Unfortunately this cloud 9 drifted back to reality when I spent my first mother’s day in the hospital with my mom; she had surgery to remove the tumor. It was definitely NOT what I ever imagined my first mother’s day to be. EVER.

This disease “cancer” is flipping scar-ry.

Why is this happening, is this for real?! I did not want to face the reality that my mom, my confidant, the woman who raised me to be the woman I am, the woman whom I loved most in this ENTIRE universe was actually sick, like, really sick! When I heard she had cancer, I felt devastated.

I tried to stay positive…. – We are going to FIGHT this and we are going to WIN. – God only does this kind of thing for a reason. – There will be good in this…..somehow. –

However, she was really sick and going to get even sicker from surgery, chemo and radiation. I wondered if she really was strong enough and if the doctors really could find it ALL. I felt depressed watching her suffer, listening to her fears, seeing her fill with sadness, even watching her tears fall when she was just having a bad day.

I felt hopeless at times. When I would stop to think about how SHE was feeling, I could not even come close to completely understanding. This was really frustrating. I realized a caregiver can only do so much. This was her battle, and I was only there to support her. I was angry, scared and couldn’t come close to imagining the feelings she had. I so badly wanted to blame someone or something…diet, stress, genetics, anxiety, environment, cleaning products, plastic water bottles!!! ANYTHING, just something.

I wanted to be there for her through the entire process. I wanted to go to every doctor appointment, every treatment, every time she was sick I wanted to be there to help her, to lift her when she was weak, and to encourage her so that maybe she wouldn’t have to suffer…..alone. She was my mom! She would have wanted to do the same for me. We rallied the entire family, all of them, my sisters and their families, my dad, my husband, her mom, her sister and brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles and her friends, they all were truly her angels during this entire journey.

The doctors did not always have an answer. They certainly couldn’t tell me why this happened! They couldn’t make a direct link! Or just prescribe something to make it go away. When I would ask about her diet, they didn’t really want to talk about it. During treatment she was told that it didn’t really matter what she ate, veggies and fruit weren’t going to help with chemo therapy anyway and her system won’t be able to handle “raw” fruit and veggies after surgery. We followed the doctors suggested treatment plan, the traditional route of surgery, chemo therapy and radiation.

I immediately found myself diving deep into trying to understand what makes “us” sick. Today I am a strong advocate for cancer prevention and believe we need to “let thy food be thy medicine.” Keep a healthy body and mind, and stay positive. I am becoming more and more mindful of our environment. {Check out this woman’s kickass cancer warrior story, she has truly been an inspiration to me! Kris Carr, Crazy Sexy Cancer and check out Joe Cross, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead his journey to heal his body and use food to prevent disease and get off medication for good}

I started to wonder if the traditional route of treatment was the right choice or if we should look into a natural or holistic route. In my humble opinion after reading many thoughts on modern medicine vs. natural remedies {I now understand cancer cells pretty much do suck and they freak me out! And the scariest part is that cancer is EVERYWHERE, there is NO cure + people are being diagnosed daily around the globe.} I believe the best thing to do when faced with cancer is BOTH, natural remedies + modern medicine, together, holistically. At least until they find a way to make cancer cells magically disappear!

Treatment did bring out all the uglies you hear about. She was incredibly sick, nausea, yes. She was weak, her nerves were affected, and she became sensitive to cold and other things. Her immune system was of course compromised; she would become ill and have to stop or slow down the treatment, and was even hospitalized a few times. It took months to get through this treatment process.

Life continued on, even during the uglies.

While I was watching my mom deal with cancer I was lead to volunteering. I wanted to be part of something bigger than me, something that was involved with helping other people who were suffering from cancer like her.

We participated years prior in a Relay for Life event for a family friend Tanya {read her message here!} she was diagnosed with Leukemia as a child {Very happy to say she won her fight and is finishing her college career this year}. I thought Relay was a great place to start. I went to the first local meeting with my mom’s best friend who also wanted to do something more. That night we both started our team “Sharon’s Angels” and joined the committee. We got really involved!

5 years later and my family and friends are still actively involved with the Farmington/Farmington Hills Relay for Life event. Our team has raised thousands of dollars over the years in effort to help find a cure and help others in need of support. We have gained many friends that have now become like family. We have sadly watched an amazing fellow relayer who worked really REALLY hard to fight her own cancer battle and who wanted to make a difference in the community, lose their battle. And we pray for her and her family to this day, her family walks proudly every year in her honor. My mom is even the co-chair for the event this year! She has decided to keep fighting her fears and is doing something she truly believes in. I am super proud of her and everything she has accomplished. She has really worked on building her strength on the inside and out.

Today I am incredibly thankful my mom is a survivor, 5 years this past mother’s day! Woo-hoo!!! We will continue to walk, raise awareness about cancer and early detection, raise money and join others to fight for a cure. This year I will be joining my mom in the Spring at the Relay for Life Farmington/Farmington Hills, end of Spring at the Race for A Cure in Detroit, and the Light the Night Walk in Wyandotte this October.

One of the greatest lessons I have been able to take away from this experience is to let go. Let go of the negative things I cannot control in my life, my fears, and trust that God has a reason. When life gets hard and the reason has some type of lesson, I will listen and trust, and try to be the best version of me. It truly is about living in the now and letting go of anything that gets in the way of positive thinking and your happiness. {This woman has empowered my thinking and I am so thankful for her giant message on I-75N! Thank you Jodi, let go.be}

Cancer does suck! I hope I have inspired you to get out there and make a difference somehow, join others who are fighting. Even if you walk alone or if you rally your friends and family together.   Get out there and find a cause you believe in, you could even just donate your time if you can’t donate your money, join the planning committee, get involved with fundraising, or find a way to help others and show support, reality is everyone you meet is battling something.

Health + Happiness ~annette