I always had a dream of writing a book. To me it represents discipline, a marathon of sorts for someone who enjoys writing. I decided five years ago that I would pursue my dream and write the book. I’m passionate about my topic because I see the need for it daily in my pediatric practice. Writing this book has given me the opportunity to dig deeper and learn more. I want my book to be more than just an accomplishment; I want it to change lives.
When I started the process five years ago, I sat down and let the words flow. It was just my husband and I at the time, so finding time to write wasn’t too difficult. When he was working or busy with another project, I would write. I read, researched, and wrote with passion. The process was hard and yet exciting. I was making progress, and it was all coming together.
My book was close to 85% finished when my little guy was born four years ago. My world changed in the most incredible and beautiful way! He stole my heart. And I say, jokingly, a bit of my mind, too. The challenges of working a full-time job as a doctor and caring for an infant and now a preschooler have been both tough but enjoyable. Nothing compares to his smiles, hugs, and kisses over the past four years.
In Search of Balance
I love every part of parenting although I could do without the 3 a.m. feeds and temper tantrums! Motherhood has been a dream of mine but deferred for 40+ years, so I have immersed myself fully. Finding balance between mothering, being a wife, and working a full time job is crazy! My focus is on trying to make tomorrow better than today. Instead of praying for more hours in a day, the prayer is for the strength to do the best I can with the hours given. Sleep is valuable, so being efficient during awake hours is a must. I’m not looking for perfection; I just need progress.
I stopped writing for about a year and a half while in search of balance. Ha! Doesn’t exist! I thought about the book but found it nearly impossible to get back to it and become immersed in it like before. Everyone had advice: block time every week to write, get up earlier and write before the baby gets up, or hire a babysitter, so you can escape for a few hours. All good suggestions, but they didn’t work. Well, at least at the time. I just felt overwhelmed.
There was a point I thought the dream was going to die. How can you do it all? Motherhood alone is a full time job, then you add being a wife and doctoring; my plate is full. I accepted the fact one can’t do it all. Well, at least not all at the same time. But I still believed there was a way.
Revive the Dream
Finally my dream started coming back to life a year ago. I thought about writing a lot and how to make it a part of my new life. My son just turned three years old then. Caring for him was no less demanding, nor was being a wife or a doctor
, but I began seeing things differently. My dream was a part of me that couldn’t be left to die. The subject of the book actually paralleled my own life. So instead of regretting I didn’t make further progress, I used my experiences to make the book even better.
I looked at every week in anticipation of the time I would have to write and perfect my dream. Early mornings, weekend nap times (which we kept in place), and having a girlfriend watch my son for 2-3 hours on the weekends were the main ways time was created. There will always be excuses not to do it. But, instead, I have to look for reasons to do it: there is someone who really needs this information; instead of talking so much about it, I can now encourage someone to read about it, and most importantly, it is my dream to complete a book.
Today the book is even closer to being finished. In a recent conversation with a literary agent, I received some helpful suggestions and talked about next steps. My dream is alive and well.
I’ve decided my dream won’t die, and yours can’t either. Every season has its demands, some more than others. Embrace where we are and look for ways your dream can become a part of your current state. Sow into your dreams whenever possible, even in the smallest way. And then when you’re able, dig deeper. Dreams do come true but not always when and how we think they should.
Whatever you do, don’t let your dream die.