Recently, I remembered something my Dad said to me when I was in my early 20’s, “I might be old, but I’m not dead yet!”
Admittedly, this took place while I was at the neighborhood bar having a beer and a burger with him, and gave him a hard time for flirting with an attractive woman who was sitting nearby. He was single, and in his early 60’s and has always been a bit of a cad. I was probably 21, and of the mindset that my parents were (hopefully) no longer sexually active after my (immaculate) conception.
As a mom of two young kids living the crazy dichotomy of adulthood, this memory – which came to me out of nowhere – really hit home. It reminded me that being a mom doesn’t mean I have to give up everything. That I don’t need to be a martyr to be a good mom, and that it’s so good for kids to learn that the world doesn’t revolve solely around them. That I can be a living example to them of setting and achieving goals and demonstrating how to maintain relationships as I nurture my marriage and friendships.
Now, there are women who are truly completed by motherhood and want only that – I think that is wonderful for them! But as my babies become less and less baby-ish by the second and need me just a little less every day, for me it feels like the sun is slowly rising again!
As much as I adore the beautiful little people that my husband and I made together, I’m not dead yet – and I still have a lot to do in this lifetime for my kids and myself!
For the past 6 months or so I’ve been hemming and hawing over how to balance the possibility of starting my own business while still keeping up with my responsibilities at home. My husband travels frequently, so many times I’m without a partner when it comes to parental and household duties. I’ve been loathe to give up time with my almost 3 year old, but also not wanting to wait another 2-3 years to start my own business.
This memory of my Dad flashed through my head at what feels to be exactly when I needed it. It triggered discussions with my husband and mentors about how to make things work, got me thinking about creative solutions, and inspired me to do more than just daydream about what I want. I realized that I feel good about spending the last 3 years at home with my kids, and although I might entrust a bit more of their care to others in the near future, it doesn’t mean that I’m not an involved and present parent. In fact, I think it will make me a better mom by showing them that’s you don’t get what you want unless you try!
Not only did the memory inspire me to push past my comfort zone in regards to pursuing dreams, but it also was a good reminder that I might be a mom… but I’m also an INTROVERT who needs quiet time with a book. I’m a WIFE who loves having fun and feeling sexy with my husband. I’m a FRIEND to amazing people who I love to connect with.
Mom will forever be a title that I treasure, even if I do dream of other things too!
Who are you? What are your dreams?