“…nope, nevermind, definitely still a mom.”
If you had the chance to read a little about my background, you know that my husband and I were one of the first of our friends to have a baby; something we never regretted. I’ve always known I wanted children and knew we were ready at the ripe ages of 25 & 26. People tell you that your life changes when you have a baby and that is 100% true…in the best way possible. You mature. You prioritize. You figure out what is most important to you. But it wasn’t until recently that I’ve felt “left out” of group gatherings. (I say “I” instead of “we” because I’m not sure guys really get that worked up/emotionally concerned about being left out).
We’ve been trying to make plans with friends for fun weekend gatherings, dinners, bachelor(ette) parties, weddings, etc. We try to go out with friends a time or two every month without the baby so we can have a drink and adult conversations. We hire a babysitter and enjoy ourselves. Occasionally we will bring the little man with us if we know we won’t be out super late.
Trust me when I say, I understand children should not be invited to every outing. Hell, our wedding invitations specifically stated that it was an adult-only reception. Most of our friends respect our new role as parents and continue to invite us to fun events even though we may not say yes every time. (P.S. I appreciate that more than they know).
But what happens when you’re purposely left off of the guest list?
Should it be taken personally that they don’t want to hang out anymore or just take it as we’re at two different points in our lives? Or maybe our invitation just got lost in the mail?
Have you been in the same boat with your friends? What was the best way to deal with this issue? I’d love to hear how you’ve dealt with this. For now I’ll just say, “one day they’ll understand.”