Mom Challenges: Single-Married Life

single-married lifeMom Rant.

We’ve all been there. Hopes for something personal, something to put a little spring  back in our step – as this Michigan grey is starting to DRAG ON AND ON…at least snow, please?  

Me personally, I am a mom to 2 boys and wife of a husband who spends his weeks away and weekends playing catch up. I have my own small business which I love! I am a woman who doesn’t spend a great deal of time making the time to have some self-pampering.  Yes, I shower, mostly every day. Yes, I even shave my legs, well, on occasion – but let’s be real, it’s winter and my husband travels for weeks at a time… anyway. I put on makeup, albeit a little lite.  I feel good {enough} about myself when I take that shower, dry my hair, put on a little mascara and a fresh, clean outfit and go out into the world.  And if I’m really on point, I get my nails done! Granted it’s sometimes in the car pick up line and takes a few days to complete. Woah, look out – It’s the simple things for me.

That changed today.

Today, I am sad. I am frustrated. I am disappointed.  It’s one thing not to be listened to when dealing with responsibilities around the house; it’s another when I find the time, save the money, choose who I want to spend that time and money on only to be really let down. And I will be reminded of this moment for the next several MONTHS while I wait for my hair to grow back.

My let down, as petty and insignificant as it seems, was in the form of a haircut. A haircut that was supposed to bring me joy. Bring my self-worth level up just a little. I’ve been feeling low, this single-married mom life is hard. Mom life in general is hard. This haircut, it was supposed to be a step in a direction for taking ‘a more aware care of me’ approach. But no, not today.

I met the woman I chose to spend the aforementioned time and money on when my sons finally agreed to haircuts – we hit it off, her and I.  She seemed to understand my dilemma with my current ‘growing it out from a previous bad cut’ head of hair status. So today, I came armed with photos inspiration, and trusted her talents to help me find that inner hair peace.

I can tell you it went wrong when she asked if I was ready to add in some highlights, this was more or less the first question asked when I sat in her chair – and went downhill from there. I have never colored my hair at the salon. Just once, from a box, a long time ago. I kept my chin up and kindly suggested sticking to just a hair style that allows it to grow back easily. We can discuss hair color at another visit… moving on. {For the record, I really do like my hair color. I’m fortunate that it’s healthy, great tone, and no grays!}

So now what – the hair is cut, swept and thrown away. I’ve re-washed it in hopes of some ability of my own to make it salvageable. At least make it livable.  Let it grow.

I’m still upset to see the silver lining of this experience, but would like to offer a few suggestions in hopes of coming to peace.

  1. I DID get my me time
  2. I DID get an awesome hair wash (by far the best part, right!?)
  3. My sons DID notice – though the comment was ‘Mom, what happened to your hair?’ #honest
  4. It is winter (so I am told), wearing a hat is A-Okay!
  5. It Will Grow.

That last point, it will grow, it resonates. It’s the truth. And not just for hair; it’s also the truth for being a mom.

We grow, we experience intense challenges, we get cut off, and experience many hiccups in our days (and night).  Being a mom brings such joy and heart ache. I am taking this disappointment and aiming to channel it into opportunity to be at peace with challenge.

It’s only hair. It will grow. Let it grow. Let me grow.



PS: of course – this song is stuck in my head! With a catchy tune and great message, my outlook has already changed.  Thanks for reading.

let it grow





Previous articleMom Brain: The Struggle is Real.
Next articleWorkout Confessions of a New Mom
Kate Bell
Hi I’m Kate Bell! I am a mom to two amazing boys; they are my joy, my inspiration and what gets me going each day, whether I am ready or not! Coffee is my friend. I’m a Montessori mom, a mom to a little boy with a unique feeding disorder (, a mom to a super creative and fast paced young man and a wife to a constantly traveling husband. I love to create. I love photography. and people. and kids. and being outside. and running. and details. I love a lot of things in the world around and if I can capture even a little bit of these things to create a visible memory, I think it’s a pretty good day.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.