I remember before my daughter was born I would be doing little things like folding laundry, daydreaming what it would be like holding little onesies instead of our clothes. I couldn’t help but imagine our living room floor cluttered with toys. I had all sorts of free time, but honestly, I was tired of free time!
Like many couples, my husband and I were experiencing the frustrations of infertility, a journey that felt painfully long, but in reality lasted around 5 years.
Fast forward to 2014, I should be doing laundry right now. I would be hard pressed to find a room in my house that isn’t cluttered with toys, and what was that free time thing again?!
Loose translation, this is the happiest I’ve ever been in my life.
I have the most amazing, funny, bright, energetic, lovable, and captivating little 2 year old creating havoc and lighting up my life every day.
Thank you, God for adoption.
thank you.
We started looking into adoption while we were still seeking infertility treatment, curious about what the process looked like and the timelines involved. I started reading books about it and we went to a seminar at Bethany Christian Services. When our predetermined last try at infertility treatment didn’t take and I wasn’t devastated about it, I knew why. My heart had already moved on. I wanted a baby through adoption.
The day after Christmas, 2011 we submitted our initial request for a formal application. There were months of completing paperwork, creating “the perfect” family profile book, and a series of 3 home studies.
We waited for the call about our home study approval. “She said 4 – 6 weeks” I thought at week 6, being completely impatient and worked up about nothing!
And then the phone call came while I was sitting at my desk at work.
“Hi Annie, are you sitting down?”
Yes
“Congratulations, your home study’s been approved…”
Hooray
“You’ve been matched …”
“And the birth mother is in labor…”
Oh!
I was shaking visibly, trying to scribble down the details she was giving me.
“We’ll need to know what you decide…quickly”
I called my husband and recited the same lines that had been delivered to me a few minutes ago. How could we say no, we decided. Did it really matter that our nursery at the time consisted of a glider and dresser?
We called our moms, and then I called the social worker with an emphatic YES!
Just six hours later after taking care of some paperwork with the hospital social worker and adoption specialist we were able to see her for the very first time.
She looked so calm stretched out under the heat lamp in her bassinet. It was so surreal, feeling as though we were visitors but internally trying to recognize that we were here to meet the baby who would become our daughter. She was born at 35 weeks and was tiny; just under 5 lbs. There we were holding this beautiful newborn, cautiously falling in love, trying to do our best remembering that she wasn’t ours.
We stayed 5 days in the hospital with her before we were able to bring her home.
I think back how eager I was to take her home, breaking down in tears when the pediatrician said one more day. The stress, excitement, lack of sleep, and enormity of everything was starting to wear me down.
I felt so prepared to be this sweet baby’s mom. I joked with our pediatrician several weeks later at our following well baby visits that at every consecutive visit I felt less and less prepared! He assured me this was a good sign of bonding!
Some things they can’t prepare you for in training and books. I wasn’t prepared for the awkward feeling of staying on a post-partum floor without having just given birth. Or the nagging insecurity buried deep down telling you that the reason she’s still crying is because she wants her mom. I was grateful that she was so easily soothed those first few days in the hospital, for her sake and for mine!
We met her wonderful, sweet, and shy birth mom and were able to spend some time getting to know one another.
There were so many little things that just fell into place. I think back in wonderment about it all. Too many to mention here, but these are some of my favorites.
Sending in our family profile book weeks before they needed it, because why not? (Because it made it to exactly where it was supposed to be, just in time)
Coincidentally, our daughter’s birth mom was in labor at the hospital where I work. (One of my favorite stories to tell is when a RN friend walked into the room we were in at the hospital to do a vitals check, she saw me and did a double take wondering why dietary had been requested. When she realized we were the adoptive parents she was in tears of joy.)
We went out and got the essentials on our way home from the hospital that night. (For two indecisive people who’d been dragging their feet, being forced to shop for baby supplies in Meijer at midnight was a blessing in disguise.)
We had family, friends, and neighbors who gave us a tremendous amount of support and baby essentials those first few weeks. We felt so blessed.
(Including my shocked neighbor who didn’t even know we were adopting when we called her from the hospital asking her to take out our dog. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for telling me that I needed to use your day care provider…ever.)
We met her birth mom and family and had a really nice connection at the hospital.
(Extra special was that someone from pastoral care just happened to come in during the short time we were visiting together and prayed for our families.)
We feel fortunate to have had such a smooth adoption process, as is not always the case, and for such a short wait, also something that’s not typical. I am amazed and impressed by families who wait years and years to meet their children and of the resilience and faith of families who experience adoption disruption.
At night I rock my daughter to sleep, hold her tight, and know confidently that things are exactly as they were meant to be.
So as my sweet little thing sleeps, and I’m taking care of little things around the house; I’m thankful. I’m thankful for my family, my friends, and for the little things.
Thank you, God for adoption.
About me: I am a full time working mom of one. My husband and I have been enjoying this crazy ride together for 11 years! We recently relocated from the Metro Detroit area to Grand Rapids to be closer to family. Our family’s favorite activities include singing at the dinner table, dancing in the living room, and taking walks to the neighborhood playgrounds.
