One in eight women today encounter issues getting pregnant. You most likely know (at least) one of them. Maybe it’s a co-worker or neighbor, maybe a sister or best friend. Maybe it’s you.
Given the sensitive nature of infertility, it’s common to want to show support but also feel like you don’t know how or what might be an appropriate way to say “I’m here.”
As an #infertilitywarrior and also a self-proclaimed “gifter,” I have found myself on both the giving and receiving ends of gifts and care packages related to infertility and pregnancy loss. Whether you’re looking for a meaningful option for a friend or loved one, or perhaps something for yourself as you power down the treacherous road of infertility, the following list offers thoughtful selections for anyone struggling to become a mom:
1.) Mindful Jewelry
Sure, diamonds might be a girl’s best friend, but when it comes to fertility, other jewels reign supreme. A good friend gifted me a handmade bracelet of moonstone and rose quartz (pictured below)– both gemstones that are known to enhance fertility– and it was one of the most heartwarming items I’ve ever received.
Don’t personally know a jewelry maker? No worries! Etsy has an incredible array of beautiful pieces at affordable prices, like this bracelet featuring remarkable gems with special meanings and energies. Locally, maker Twistful Thinking of Grosse Pointe sells jewelry as well as handpicked crystals and stones, all one-of-a-kind ideas.
For those who have experienced a pregnancy loss, many Etsy shops and independent jewelers offer customizable pieces that can help bring closure. A necklace like this is a simplistic yet personal way to keep the memory of a lost child close to the heart.
Finally, these elegantly delicate bracelets by MantraBand (mine are pictured below) offer mantras of optimism, positivity, and inspiration. I have purchased several for myself throughout my journey with infertility with uplifting mantras including Always In My Heart, Warrior, Choose Joy, and Nevertheless She Persisted. You can find them locally at Nordstrom or shop the whole collection online.
Many people don’t know this, but the pineapple has quickly become the symbol and even mascot, if you will, of infertility. An old wives tale says that eating pineapple core can help with the embryo implantation process, and things kind of took off from there.
A pineapple-themed gift is fun but also shows that you’ve taken the time to learn about what your loved one is going through– something that means more than any tangible present ever could. Some creative pineapple-esque ideas include:
- A pretty notebook or journal– found everywhere from Target to local boutiques and even Erin Condren!
- An organic soy candle
- A coffee mug or tumbler– many are customizable on Etsy, too!
- A canvas tote
- …and so many more!
3.) Socks, Socks, Socks!
OK, this may sound weird, but socks have multiple meanings when it comes to infertility. First, socks, in general, evoke feelings of warmth and coziness, perfect for gifting someone who needs some extra comfort in their life.
Secondly, after IVF transfers, it is said that women should keep their feet warm to help with implantation. Enter: socks! I bought myself this super cute pair (pictured above) from local online shop 9:16 Designs to wear during my IVF transfers. (Side note: an FET is a Frozen Embryo Transfer for those unfamiliar with the lingo).
Many Etsy sellers create IVF-related socks, and tons of local small businesses carry cutesy socks for all occasions. Sum Girls Boutique in Berkley and The Dailey Method barre studio in Birmingham are two of my local sock-shopping faves.
4.) The Gift of Self Care
All natural products are becoming more ubiquitous everywhere, but probably even more so in the infertility community where women are even more aware of the effects that chemicals and toxins can have on their bodies and reproductive systems. Thus, gifting responsible self-care products is always a good decision. And thankfully, there are many local options to choose from!
Dirty Girl Farm– available weekly at the Royal Oak Farmer’s Market– is an all-natural line of skin, body, home care, and apothecary with products perfect for pampering. An organic “diamond” face mask? Yes, please!
Or, why not gift a stress-relieving experience? Beach House Day Spa in Birmingham offers the Gua Sha Sculpting Facial– a.k.a. “Holistic Botox.” Rejuvenation and relaxation in a healthy and natural way is always a winning idea.
5.) A Children’s Book
This doesn’t sound like an obvious go-to, but hear me out. There are two books in particular that I have received several personal recommendations for from friends struggling to start or grow a family. For these women, the stories below symbolize the hope of what could one day be.
First, metro-Detroit author Kimberly Wyman’s You Are My Baby, I Am Your Mommy (pictured above) explores the many questions that run through a woman’s mind about how a child will come into her life, be it in her belly or in her heart. With bright illustrations and powerful words, this book has taken many hopeful moms from the trying phase and into motherhood, helping them keep their faith along the way.
Similarly, in Wish, an elephant couple falls in love and eventually desires to start a family when they encounter unexpected challenges. In the end, their wishes prevail– a message of hope that transcends age.
Of course, any gift that comes from a place of compassion and the heart is sure to be well-received. When in doubt, sending a handwritten note letting your friend know that you are there– as simple as that– is the most significant gesture you can make. Even if you don’t know what to say, tell them that! It’s not about what you say or do, but the fact that you truly care that matters most of all.