Whose Plate Is Fuller? The Parenting Balance


Married with kids brings with it a whole lot of stress! Like a TON of stress, and even moreso when you’re sleep deprived. Going without sleep for years makes one a little mad. Mad at simple things like, when you spill juice while pouring it into your kid’s sippy cup. Mad at the load of laundry that keeps building and you know dang well it won’t get touched until the weekend. Mad because the school sends a gazillion emails about things that don’t pertain to you, yet you need to read EVERYTHING because you may need to know what’s up.

Parenthood is maddening. Being an adult can be overwhelming. So, guess what? Someone is going to get the brunt of things. Someone meaning your spouse. After all, we usually marry our best friend, right? Our spouse is the one who is going to hear, experience, and feel all of our highs and lows.

Sometimes we will wonder … who has it worse? Me or my husband?

Whose plate is fuller? His or mine?

If we are being completely honest we will even say we get mad because WE feel like WE do it all. Even though that’s obviously not true. If you’re feeling me with this, ladies, then read on …

I think there is a reason for these emotions. I think women tend to take on too much and are often times scared to ask for help. We as mothers feel it is our duty to do ALL the things. We feel it, we stress about it, we cry about it. And usually our husbands look at us like we are crazy.

In my own home, I get WAY more stressed than my husband. Sure, we both work. He actually works two jobs and does the bulk of the cooking. I work part-time, run my blog, and handle all administrative tasks of the household, as well as the majority of the housework. Is it balanced?

It is. Shhh! Just don’t tell him I said that. Because usually when we get into fights it’s about me not having enough time to do ALL the things I have on my plate to do. I complain way more than he does. And I just feel a huge weight of mental strain, at all times.

And while he doesn’t get as stressed as I do, he has a ton on his plate, too. And oh boy, when it’s that time of the month – I blame the hormones, ladies. I do. I really do. It makes a busy life that much more stressful when your estrogen levels change. And I know I’m not the only one. According to Medical Daily, “a woman’s menstrual cycle affects her brain in a number of ways, for better or for worse. Estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone fluctuate during a woman’s menstrual cycle. The hippocampus, hypothalamus, and the amygdala tend to be affected the most by the estrogen-progesterone surges and drops. The surges of these hormones can influence a woman’s mood, self-esteem, and how she connects to others.”

It’s not just the fluctuating hormones. When I am running late (again) for work, I remind him how lucky that he’s a man. He doesn’t have to apply as much junk to his hair or face as I do. He wears a uniform – I have to pick something from my closet each day and iron it. IRON it!

He works fifteen minutes away, I have a one hour commute .

I make sure the kids always have clean clothes in their drawers, are dressed, and groomed each morning. He always makes sure the kids are to school on time and picks them up most days.

He cooks dinner most nights because he beats me home. I usually work on my blog at the dinner table.

I always get up at night with my toddler, because only Mama will do … he is usually at work when she wakes.

He always cuts the grass and shovels the snow. I always dust, clean the bathrooms, change the bedding, mop the floors, vacuum, etc.

He does …

I do …

The bottom line is, the division is pretty equal. We both put our heart and soul into our children and our home. Sure, we could do a tally to see who actually does more. But, in the end it doesn’t really matter, does it? We are working towards the same goal.

And while at times it may seem I do more, I am sure he feels the same. I will say I do get more sleep than him. But, he also naps frequently … so, and so … there I go again.

Whose Plate Is Fuller? Parenting Balance

Whose Plate Is Fuller? The Parenting Balance


  1. Having thoughts about this just means that you are parenting well. It is never easy but always worth it. Thabk you for sharing your thoughts.


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