As moms, I think we all fall prey to the (false) idea that we have to take on everything by ourselves. Even when our husbands and partners, bless them, need an obvious ask, we are committed to doing it ourselves! This is absurd, but the obviousness of it all doesn’t always hit us until we’ve hit a wall. The same goes for when another mom, family member, or friend offers to help out if we’re having a tough time—illness, stress, partner traveling. Why can’t we say yes? We should say yes to help more often.
When I made the decision to get childcare for my son 3 days days a week, I cried. There was a piece of me that felt like a failure. Why can’t I do it all? Why can’t I grow my small business WHILE I spend time with my son? But now that I have that in place, I feel like a more balanced mom and a better business owner. It allows me to stop trying to do it all at the same time and focus on my business when I have that time, and on my son when I’m with him.
I went through the same internal battle when I realized I needed help keeping up with the house. But when I allowed myself to ask and receive help, my life felt so much more balanced. My hours at work are more efficient and I spend more quality time with my family now that I don’t worry about keeping up with cleaning the toilets and scrubbing the floors. And every other week when I come home after my house-cleaning angel has paid her visit, I am so happy I made the decision to ask and receive help.
Not everyone can afford to pay someone to clean for them, or maybe it’s not regular child care that you want. There are lots of ways to give and receive help.
Whatever makes you feel more supported—don’t be afraid to ask for it! It’s not a sign of weakness, in fact the strongest women know how to ask for and receive help.
So the next time your spouse looks at you with a blank face like he didn’t notice the sink was full of dishes, just ask him to please take care of it. Or if your girlfriend knows you have a bad cold and asks if you need anything, say yes! Ask for her to bring you hot tea or to come relieve you of your kid(s) for just an hour so you can take a nap. It is okay, you aren’t a failure. You’re human.