You Can’t Always Get What You Want: My C-Section Story

DISCLAIMER: The following post outlines the writer’s personal experience having a C-section. It is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about having a C-section.

C-sections are considered major surgery and although they are relatively safe, there can be risk to both baby and mother. The Mayo Clinic describes risks to mother including infection, blood loss, clots, and increased risk of complications in future pregnancies. Risks to baby include breathing issues and surgical injury. In recent years, they have raised in popularity. The CDC reported that as of 2021, C-section births had raised to about 32% of all births in the U.S.

My experience with C-sections is best described by the Rolling Stones when they sang, “you can’t always get what you want.” When I found out I was pregnant, what I wanted was to have a natural birth. Further, what I didn’t want was to have a C-section because I had heard a lot of negative things about them.

The Plan

My mother had delivered me and my two sisters without any pain medicine and spoke positively about the experiences. I was young, healthy, and active, so assumed I would similarly have an easy experience giving birth. Since I didn’t like to leave things to chance, I made a plan.

My husband and I attended birthing class and toured the hospital. I wrote out a birth plan and packed it in my hospital bag next to my nursing bra. The plan stated that I wanted to deliver vaginally, preferably without any pain medicine. A C-section was not even an option I considered. With a clear plan in place, I turned my sights to preparation.

The Preparation

I have always been very physically active. When I got pregnant, I was teaching barre classes and working out around five days a week. I started seeing a trainer that specialized in pregnant women and together we put together a program that would help me prepare for delivery and recovery.

My Spotify account contained several delivery room music playlists. Some had calm music for early labor and others had pump up music for the later stages. Friends and family had even written encouraging messages for me in a notebook I brought to the hospital. I was fully prepared.

On my due date, my water broke (right on schedule) and I headed to the hospital. Sure, I was nervous about motherhood, but I was fully prepared to push that baby out and recover in record time.

The Problem

Almost 8 hours after my water broke, I sat in the hospital with monitors keeping track of both me and the baby. But nothing was happening. I was in a lot of pain but was not dilating or progressing towards actual delivery. All of a sudden, the waiting turned quickly into action. The monitor tracking the baby’s heart started to beep rapidly and the doctor said the baby was in distress and needed to be delivered immediately.

The Pivot

Everything changed from a slow-motion waiting game to rapid action. A team of medical professionals appeared out of nowhere changing my gown and putting a hairnet over my head. I tried to protest and remind the doctor that this wasn’t what I wanted, but she said there really wasn’t any choice. This scared me and as I looked at my family members around the room, it was clear: the feeling was mutual.

I was wheeled into an operating room and the surgery started almost immediately. My husband appeared, magically wearing a gown from the hospital. Within moments, I was holding my son. A C-section was not what I wanted, but it had gotten my child safely to the world, and that was what mattered.

The New Plan

During my second pregnancy, we talked to the doctor about delivery. I was a good candidate for a VBAC (vaginal birth after Cesarian section) so we came up with a flexible plan. If I went into labor before my due date, we would try for a vaginal birth. If not, I would have a scheduled C-section on my due date.

I never went into labor, and ended up having the scheduled C-section. The second C-section was a completely different experience. I went into the hospital at a prearranged time, just like I was heading to an appointment. Everything was calm and felt orderly. The baby arrived and my recovery was fine.

The Rolling Stones were right: “you can’t always get what you want,” but hopefully, one way or another, “you get what you need.” As it turns out, what I needed were C-sections. They were not in my original plan but after having two C-sections, one emergency and one scheduled, I believe that the best birth plan is the plan to be flexible.

There are definitely risks associated with C-sections but there are risks involved in vaginal delivery as well. It doesn’t matter how a baby gets here or whether it was according to plan. What matters most is that the baby and mother are healthy after delivery.

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