It’s no secret that kids add a whole new level of complexity to your relationship and finding ways to maintain it. Throw in one or two working parents and maintaining any semblance of cleanliness inside the home, and by bedtime, energy levels are probably depleted. The chaos of the day-to-day makes it difficult to prioritize yourself, let alone your partner.
Keep on reading for tips on what’s worked in our family to keep the love alive between us, too!
Simple Ways To Maintain Your Relationship
Communicate openly.
There’s never such a thing as over-communicating. One of our key mistakes as young parents was letting all the exhaustion and overwhelm build up. Once my partner and I started checking in with each other daily, things got easier, and I got less overwhelmed.
Create + share calendars.
We just started to use a chore calendar. Additionally, every time a kid has an appointment, I send my partner a calendar invite. We include who’s scheduled where, and which parent needs to take them.
Learn each other’s love languages.
The quiz is five minutes long, is taken online, and helps you understand how your partner best receives love. My love language is acts of service–when my partner does the dishes or the grocery shopping, or makes me coffee, it means much more than it does when he buys me a little gift!
Prioritize a date night every week.
This isn’t always realistic–especially leaving the house. My partner and I love to do at-home date nights once our kids are in bed. Some of our favorites have been making our own sushi, building poke bowls, grilling and sitting at the fire pit in the back yard, and doing a paint-by-number together. When we really have no energy, we typically find ourselves folding laundry with our phones on silent or binging a TV show together.
Remember the evening check-ins.
After our kids are in bed, we take five minutes to check in with each other. We find out what tomorrow looks like, ask how the other is feeling, and figure out if either of us need more support. If we do, we make a plan to make that happen.
And finally . . . ask for what you need.
Lastly, it sounds silly, but so many people (myself included) forget that this other person living in your home is your partner. They want to help you! They want to help their kids! If they don’t, there’s some sort of support they likely need from you, too. Asking for what you need makes it much more likely that you’ll get it. And, it will make you much more appreciative of your partner.
So, implement these changes to help maintain your relationship after you’ve had kids. The wisest piece of advice I have heard thus far is to remember why it is you loved your partner in the first place, and continue to foster that. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day life of raising a family. There have been times that my partner and I went almost a full week without even hugging! Since implementing these six steps above, it’s so much easier to appreciate him, our life, and how far we’ve grown together. Let us know if any of them work for your family!
