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I Never Wanted To Be A Mom

By
dianaabdallah
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Growing up with a sister was the greatest – I had a live-in permanent friend to play with, and she did as well. We loved being together, sharing toys, dance lessons (and dance parties), playing barbies, and My Little Pony. It was everything a parent could dream of having multiple children of the same sex. Until I got a bit older, around 5, when I became a tomboy. I loved fire trucks, race cars, sports, watching WWE with my dad, playing with Ken, not Barbie. I played soccer (I was the goalie), but also took dance classes. I was mistaken in public for a boy several times. I had super short hair, just like a boy, mushroom cut and all. I was the boy that my dad never had, as I like to say. 

6th Grade Soccer Photo.

As I got older many of my friends talked about getting married and having children. I never thought of my life going in that direction. I never dreamed of having children – or becoming a mom. Did I want to get married? Of course. Did I want to have a family? No.  If you asked me even in my early twenties if I wanted children my answer would have been “NO”. A very firm one at that. I love babies. They are cute and squishy, but I could always pass them off if they started to cry, spit-up, or take a poop. Once they got past the squishy phase I never paid any attention to kids. They just bugged me. I can’t even tell you why or what reason, I was just never a kid person. I was always that person that would say “seriously shut your kid up” or “shouldn’t that kid be in bed.” I had friends that had kids, but I wanted nothing to do with them. I just never had that motherly gene passed down to me. 

It wasn’t until I hit my late 20’s and found my handsome prince that I became “interested” in having a family. I would always tell people I wanted ONE child and for it to be a boy because I could never imagine having a girl like me. HA – a strong, outspoken, loud, strong-willed, and selfish girl. Since much of my childhood I was labeled as a tomboy it was my comfort zone to want a boy. I related to boys better, sports, dirt, rambunctiousness, and all the other “boy” things. In my head it just made sense.

After Mikey and I were married for a few years, we started to dabble with the idea of starting our family, and yes, I was still firm with the idea of only having one child. We ended up pregnant just after our 3rd wedding anniversary and found out it was a BOY! I was beyond elated. I never knew the type of love that you could have for a child that you haven’t even laid eyes on yet, but I did, and it was amazing. Vincent is everything to me. He’s a ball to the wall Momma’s boy, and I love everything about that. He’s my world, the part that I didn’t know I was missing. He is messy, sporty, high-strung, smart, sassy, and anti-crafty just like his Momma. I love him, but just can’t swing loving other kids.

Christmas 2016 – Mommy and Vincent

I thought after having a child I would change my tune and I would be in “love” with kids and be this mushy hearted lady who just scoops up kids, loves on them, and wants to take them home. Well, apparently I am still missing the aforementioned motherly gene. I love my son dearly, but I’m still definitely not a kid type of person. Yes, I have empathy for the mom in Target with her child having a tantrum or the mom who is trying to get her kid in their car seat while they are screaming like they are being beaten. I have been there and understand you – I feel you! Let’s chat and vent together over coffee! 

I hate arts and crafts. If my child did an art project one million percent – it was more than likely done at daycare. I am not a DIY mom, or a Pinterest mom, or a mom who will sit and color with their child. I am just not that mom. I will do things that will make me happy and in return make Vinny happy. I will host playgroups so I can have some adult conversation while Vinny plays with his friends. I will be at my son’s games with snacks in tow so I can be that crazy bleacher mom and still be involved with my child’s activities. I will do all the motherly things I need and LIKE to do. I am not the mom who will babysit other kids, get down and carry on conversations with other children, color with other children, or play games with kids. I am not a kid’s mom – I’m a mom’s mom! 

Benefits of Saving for College Outweigh the Costs

By
Elizabeth Lewis
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Benefits of Saving for College Outweigh the Costs

I was grabbing coffee with one of my girlfriends last week getting the scoop on all things baby. I was shocked when the discussion of college savings was brought to the forefront. I hadn’t yet thought about saving for college, I was thinking about birth and nurseries, breastfeeding vs. bottles.

After all, my baby doesn’t even have a name yet let alone college aspirations. My friend, who is the mother of two, explained that if she could go back, she would have started saving for college when her children were infants. Now they are 3 and 5, and she recently opened a Pay-As-You-Go limited-benefits contract with the Michigan Education Trust (MET). She explained that had she started saving earlier, she could have gotten even further ahead of rising college tuition costs.

I had her send me the information so I could google it later on. I was surprised to learn that MET is pretty simple. It is the state’s 529 prepaid tuition plan that allows for the prepurchase of undergraduate tuition for any child residing in Michigan. The tuition is bought at today’s rates and then paid out at whatever the cost is when your kid is ready for college. With tuition costs continuing to rise, you can’t afford not to consider this 529 college savings plan (the “529” comes from the section of the federal Internal Revenue Code that allowed for MET and similar plans’ creation).

 

The best part is there are many payment options are available to parents and guardians, but the key benefit of Pay-As-You-Go is that it allows purchasers to buy MET contracts by credit hours rather than in semester increments. With so many new expenses being crunched into our budget while planning for this baby I didn’t think we could afford to start saving for college, but this makes it a great option for those who don’t have a big chunk of cash to apply toward a contract purchase. As the name implies, it allows you to “pay as you go” by making future contributions of as low as $25. One of the best aspects of this option, I learned, is that once a contract has been purchased, friends and family can also make contributions to the contract, meaning my parents or other family members or friends could help fund my child’s future education–a great way to prevent clutter come every holiday and birthday party!

 

MET does not restrict a student’s choice in school – he or she can direct tuition payments to any eligible university in the nation, including both private and public schools, good news since we don’t know what this little bundle will want for themselves 18 years for now.

 

And we benefit now as both the initial contract purchase and any additional contributions are tax deductible on purchasers’ Michigan income tax returns for the year the purchases were made.

 

There’s a great promotion going on right now too, the MET 529 Awareness Week Sweepstakes. The grand prize is $1,529 toward a new or existing Pay-As-You-Go limited-benefits MET contract. Those interested can enter the sweepstakes online at www.SETwithMET.com or by mail. Keep in mind that this sweepstake ends May 31, 2017, with the winner being drawn randomly on or about June 2. I have already entered, but even if I don’t win, I still plan to open my 529 savings plan with MET once my child is born.

 

For more information about MET plans, visit www.SETwithMET.com.

Disclaimer :: Detroit Moms Blog received compensation in exchange for this post, however all opinions are our own and 100% genuine!

Mom Bod Monday: Loving My Body After Baby

By
Meghan Simonie
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From the very beginning of our marriage, my husband and I had always promised each other that we would continue to make our anniversary special each year. We stuck to the traditional themes for gifts at each passing year and made sure to take a trip away, even if it was just somewhere local. It was important to us to remove ourselves from our crazy busy lives and spend time focusing on us and our hopes and dreams for our future. Sure, the logistics of it all became a little harder once kids were introduced into the mix, but we made it work (along with our village of support).

My parents were always huge supporters when it came to focusing on celebrating your anniversary and making sure you spend time with each other, even when kids came into the picture. They were also always very open with me growing up (and when I say open, I mean red in the face, embarrassing conversations have nothing on you, open – ask any of my friends). As embarrassed as I felt during those conversations, it has helped me become a very open person with the people that I trust in my life, most importantly, my husband. It has helped us have a great line of communication. It’s probably also the reason why I am so open to sharing my life on Facebook and through this moms blog, especially when it comes to this particular post.

Last September, my husband and I celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. Leading up to our anniversary, I was struggling with what to get for him. We were already planning on taking a big trip with just the two of us to Key West but I still wanted to get him something special. I ended up ordering him a ManCrate (wood for five years) filled with some of his favorite barbecue items. But, it just didn’t seem like enough. Then I remembered him joking about me doing a Boudoir shoot for him. I had laughed it off at the time because I literally just had our second baby that past January and the thought of taking photos of how this body looked now seemed exactly that: laughable.

I had always been the type that was a very strong personality, so that came off as a very confident person. But, what a lot of people didn’t know was that I always struggled with my body image. Even before pregnancy, I was never really happy with the way my body looked, which is ironic because now I look back at those pictures and think how crazy I was to think otherwise. My husband has always loved the way I looked, no matter what, but he has also always been a huge proponent of me loving the way I look too. I knew if I kept putting off taking these photos until I thought I looked ideal, I would never get the photos done, because unfortunately, I’m probably my worst critic. 

I let the idea simmer in my brain for a bit and after few days, I decided to pull the trigger. I found a Groupon for a place that had great reviews online. It included hair and make-up. I quickly started researching outfits that were classy and timeless – I was NOT going to reveal too much . . . just had Baby #2 in January, remember? When it was time for the photos I was super nervous. I didn’t want to look stupid and never felt like the exotic, sexy type more like the smiley, bubbly one. Much to my surprise, the experience went completely opposite of how I ever thought it would.

The woman who did my make-up made sure it wasn’t more than what I would usually wear but just enough to show up in pictures. Then, when it was time for the actual pictures, the photographer made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman there ever lived. I have never felt so confident in my life, especially at a time when I felt my body was probably at its worst having carried and produced two humans within the last two and a half years. She joked around with me and made me feel very relaxed and comfortable. I actually had so much fun, I wish it could have lasted longer.

When I got the pictures, I was astonished. They were not airbrushed; I was not edited in any way. It was me – 100%. But, because of the way that photographer made me feel, that I could be truly beautiful and love my body after babies, I could see the happiness glowing from my face in the pictures. I was in love with the photos (my husband obviously was too). More than anything, I loved that it made me feel proud of not just who I am inside but who I am on the outside too.

So, I’ve bared it all and I hope some of you will take the plunge too and learn to love your body after baby.

My husband always did but now, I do too.  

Dear Momma, Thank You for Being You

By
Jesi FG
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Dear Momma-

It’s  Mother’s Day and  I wanted to take some time to tell you just how much I appreciate you and all that you do. I don’t think I stop enough to tell you what an amazing mother and grandmother you are. Thank you for being YOU!

Looking back on my childhood, I have so many great memories of our time together. I remember when I joined the junior cheerleaders, and you handmade my very own uniform so that I could look like the real cheerleaders. I was the envy of Saturday morning practice in the cafeteria. I also remember when you hunted all over for specific teal blue baseball hat for me to wear for softball because I thought our team hats were just ‘too girly.’

I also remember all of the times that you were there to support me. The times that I was frustrated that my big brothers didn’t want a pesky little sister around, you made sure I had something extra special to do. Or when I was dealing with a group of Regina George-type bullies in middle school, you were there to wipe away my tears and remind me to stand my ground. 

You taught me to be the strong, confident woman I am today. I remember when a local reporter was interviewing me for a pageant I had won and questioned why I was so focused on my career future and not a family. You were quick to shut him down. You always taught me to stand on my own two feet and to never give up.

Watching you as a mother has taught me so much as I continue to navigate the world of motherhood. You always made me feel like I was the most important person in your world, which was a heck of a balancing act as a mother of three. You showed me what unconditional love is, and that love knows no boundaries. 

As I get older, I have come to have a new appreciation for you. You are not just Momma, not just Grammie. You are Pat, an HR professional, a community advocate, a loving wife, to name just a few things. Without you and your guidance, I wouldn’t be the woman, mother, wife or leader that I am today.

I am so thankful that we having such an amazing bond that continues to grow. I love that we can look at each other without saying a word, and laugh uncontrollably. I love that we have inside jokes that no one else understands. I love the one-on-one time we have while cooking for family dinners. I love the chance to see you as a grandmother to my son, and how much you love him. 

I am so blessed to be able to call you my Mother and honored to call you my best friend. 

Happy Mother’s Day! Love always,

Your daughter 

Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven

By
staciecooper
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Feelings always get a little raw for me as the month of May rolls around. Stores are full of cards and flowers, brunches are advertised and reservations are made. Unfortunately though, there is a large group of women who are not buying gifts or making plans. We are motherless daughters, and I feel it is safe to say that Mother’s Day is hard on all of us.

I was seven when I lost my mother to breast cancer. This will be my twenty-third Mother’s Day without the amazing woman who brought me into the world. Unfortunately, I have few memories. But what I do know from my dad and other family members is that she loved my sister and I with every single ounce of her being. She was the type of woman whose whole existence centered around her children.

Being a motherless daughter meant a lot of milestones that were missed. Everything from middle school, high school, proms, graduations, college, etc. and all of the less significant, yet character-building experiences in between. While I had some amazingly strong women in my life, nothing compares to the woman who brought you into the world.

Mother’s Day changed for me almost 4 years ago when I became a mother myself. I’m a sucker for the handmade cards and gifts from my daughters. While it stings a little less in recent years because I can reflect on my beautiful daughters, it has also made me think about the transition from motherless daughter to motherless mother.

            My mother, age 28, holding me.

 

Me, age 26, holding my first born daughter.

One would think the transition could be smooth, especially for someone who was so young and doesn’t really remember a life with their mother in it. Of course, I thought of her when I found out I was expecting for the first time, as I have with every other major event in my life. As my belly and my anxiety grew, I wanted nothing more than to know how her pregnancies went. How did she find out? How did she tell my dad? What possessed her to wallpaper the nursery with Smurfs? How did she know when she was going into labor, and what were her deliveries like? Maybe she wouldn’t have remembered a lot of the details, but I have a feeling she would have calmed all of my nerves somehow.

I was so blessed that my first born was such a great newborn. There were still moments though when I could really have used her wisdom. Especially in recent months when this now threenager has developed quite a sassy attitude. When my youngest daughter arrived a couple years later, of course, I thought I was a pro and wouldn’t need any help. I couldn’t have been more wrong. There were moments when I would have given just about anything to be able to call up my mom, have a meltdown, suck it up and move on. I want to know if I was like this at my daughter’s age. I want to know what my mother’s greatest challenges were with my sister and me when we were young. She was an amazing mother and she would have been overjoyed to be a grandmother.

As my daughters grow up they will hear about their Grandma Jill. They will know how much we all wish they could have met her and witnessed her infectious laugh. While Mother’s Day has gotten better in recent years, it will always be hard on those of us without one. If you have the opportunity to pick up the phone at any given moment and call your mother, and if she is a regular part of your children’s lives, please take a moment and be thankful for such a wonderful gift.

When You Become a Mom

By
taylorcapps
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As I watch you play as two little girls it often crosses my mind that one day you will become a mom. It’s hard to fathom that when I watch one of you crawl around in a diaper while the other is practicing writing her name, but it’s a reality.

I write down things you do, things you say, and moments we have together. I also often write things I want you to remember when you become a mom. Some funny and some sentimental, but they are all important because you’ll quickly learn that being a mom is one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs you’ll ever have. When you do become a mom there are a few things I want you to remember. 

Cut yourself some slack. At least half of the week I make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. I often think how I should be offering you something else. When I look across the table though all I see is happiness. Your feet are swinging and you’re enjoying every bite. I beat myself up over not making other choices for you when really you are just as happy as can be with the one I made. Don’t do this to yourself. If they are smiling and happy then you are doing a fine job; no need to imagine the what-ifs. 

Don’t rush. We often are on the verge being late everywhere we go. You see me scrambling to shove diapers in the diaper bag and tell you for the billionth time to please get your shoes on. But then you spell your name or pull up on the couch for the first time. It’s in moments like this that I am reminded not to rush. There’s no reason to rush somewhere when the most important moments are the ones right in front of me. When you rush, you miss the most precious moments. 

Embrace the good and bad. I will openly admit that there are some days where finding the good seems near impossible. Embracing the chaos can be so hard. The last thing you want to do is smile when someone is throwing a fit on the floor or refuses to nap, but I promise you that those moments won’t last forever. Don’t let them ruin the good. Embrace the bad and turn them into learning moments. You can learn something from every situation, even the simplest ones. 

Just go with it. Control is something that I’m still learning to let go of, but when I do I can feel the weight lifting off my shoulders. Kids are so unpredictable so just go with it. I pull out art supplies to create a well-thought through project just to discover that you would rather glue everything on one piece of paper or create your own project. When I sit back and put you in control I get to see you shine. You’ll learn that going with the flow is in the best interest of everyone. 

At the end of the day remember that the simplest moments matter the most. Sing songs, act silly and embrace all of it. I know one day you will become wonderful mothers, but until then we will take baths until your wrinkly, use up the entire bottle of bubbles, and laugh until it hurts. 

When the Miracle Becomes a Miracle Worker

By
daniellealexander
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To the one who made me a mother,

The one I made a mother said to me during a recent phone conversation, “You used to care what people think of you.” She was right; I did. And I also “used to” view everything negatively, talk poorly of others, and doubt my ability to accomplish goals.

Now, before I go any further, I want to be clear that I do not believe, even for a second, that I have magically transformed into a flawless person; in fact, every single day I experience weak moments where my “old self” visits, at times only staying for a couple minutes but, on the really tough days, up to several hours. So, what changed? I’m going to have to rewind backward four years to explain this one . . .

It was spring break. I made it. I collapsed on the couch while the Keurig warmed up and signed into Facebook. (Man, did it feel good to not have to grade papers that Friday!). I am still unsure if it was fate or sheer luck, but my thumb paused its counter-clockwise circles directly on an image that a former student of mine had shared:

A seemingly simple concept but completely impossible to achieve without making it a priority.

Prior to learning of this word, you were, of course, always a possibility but never a thought. And this remained the same for a few more days until I finally forced myself to take some time away from schoolwork and go on a walk to process its definition. A wave of disappointment overcame me as I failed to find a reason why I had become so self-absorbed over the years, thinking my life and my career was the hardest, and did not once take the time to really even consider others, including our closest family members and friends− your father included. Through even deeper reflection, I realized that sonder was actually only a fragment of the self-improvement I needed to do but also that no personal growth could be made if I maintained my same 65-hour, work-obsessed lifestyle.

So, on that cool yet sunny afternoon at the park− the same park at which I push you on the swings now− it dawned on me that I needed a change, a change in preparation for you. If you have taken after your engineer dad, you probably already figured out that you made your debut in my mind two years before you were even born. No, and I thank God every day for this, it did not take us long to get pregnant. But until I could be the mother I wanted you to have, I could not be in any less of a hurry.

At first I thought that if I could remove the most stressful elements from my job (the long drive, the heavy course load, and the time-consuming yearbook), I could remain a teacher and still be a good mom. I mean, many teachers are moms, so why couldn’t I make it work? That summer, I interviewed and landed a position at a school closer to home with fewer courses on my plate, including no longer having to advise the yearbook class. I recall temporarily feeling elated, daydreaming about all the time I would have for others and maybe even the occasional trip to the gym during the school week now? Over time, however, it became more apparent to me that no matter how much I would try to make bettering myself a priority, I would be defeated by the stresses of the career.

Two years later, when I was creating a quiz on semicolons at 3 a.m. after my water broke, it became clearer than ever that I needed to leave teaching not only for you but also your father, future sibling, and, ultimately, me. I have always been a big believer in once you make something a priority, it becomes a reality; however, when I changed career paths and prioritized becoming the mother I knew I could be, a miracle honestly occurred. And you, my little one, are the reason for that.

There’s no doubt that becoming a mother changes our lives forever, but often this phrase is said with such a negative tone. It’s true that I’ll never have the same body or free time I used to, but this Mother’s Day and every day, I’m instead choosing to focus on the person I’ve become− and will continue to shape into− since having you.

Love you, always,

Mama

All I Want for Mother’s Day is for You to Leave Me Alone

By
christinawincek
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Jewelry!

Fancy brunch!

Spa treatments!

It’s the stuff Mother’s Day dreams are made of!

Except when you’re pretty sure your piercings are closing from lack of wear, believe champagne is best drunk in the comfort of bare feet, and have a 2-year-old massage gift card that’s probably, you think, maybe in the bottom of a purse? Then perhaps you like to do Mother’s Day my way – solo.

I’ve only been married for 5 years, but my husband and I have mastered the art of ASKING each other what we want to do on special days, instead of getting pissed when the other person can’t read our mind. Since he’s been asking, I’ve been answering: I just want to be left alone. I want to have no agenda, no responsibility, and nobody pestering me about squat. If I want to hang out with you, I’ll come say “hi”, or plop down for the 53rd reading of Chicka Chicka ABC. But in the meantime, I’m gonna be outside with my book and my bubbly, so shhhhhhh. . . 

Mother’s Day 2015: Seriously. Don’t touch that.

Perhaps the tradition lingers from my own mother (a genius), who preferred to garden on that day in May. Booooo! What kid wants to hang out and do that? We didn’t. But did Sherrie care? Goodness no! She went about her merry way in the dirt while we got into trouble elsewhere and were never made to feel guilty about it. My dad, known for his big ideas and bigger treats, made her feel loved without a big to-do. We likely handed over something handmade from school, and before you knew it, it was Monday. Fin. Present day, we live thousands of miles away from each other, so there is always a card, and sometimes flowers, but I prefer to tell her on the regular why she’s the best in the whole wide world.

Mother’s Day 2009: She treated herself to a Palm Springs weekend and let me tag along. Probably so I could take the pictures.

Needless to say, my husband is a fan of my Mother’s Day request too. He gets off the hook from hearing restaurant employees cackle on the other end of the phone when he tries to make reservations the Friday before (What? Yours thinks of it sooner? Lucky duck.) He doesn’t have to break into a sweat at the Nordstrom counter, wondering if this, THIS will be the year it doesn’t get exchanged. And he doesn’t even have to cook for me, because, well, let’s just say he has numerous incredible skills, but there was a poached egg incident I don’t think either of us will ever come back from. I don’t even ask for the house to be cleaned, or dishes to be done, or children to be taken on some educational excursion while I bask in my freedom. Just keep them alive and don’t break anything. It’s that simple.

Mother’s Day 2016: Still scarred from the Eggs Benny massacre. Look away.

I know, I know, I am #blessed to be around my children for so many hours in the day. But on any given Sunday, they have certainly had enough of me too. So often my “free time” is spent on errands, a work project, or physical maintenance. But as can be reinforced by the aforementioned 2-year-old spa gift card, even mani/pedis feel like work to me. When I get TRUE free time, everybody wins. I become a better mother, better wife, and better human when I can have that short escape. Time is the greatest gift of all, so why not be the one I ask for?

Mother’s Day 2016: As dressed as I wanna get.

So on May 14th, maybe you’ll find me at the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 matinee. Maybe I’ll be saddled up to the bar at Griffin Claw, watching the French Open. Maybe I’ll be sweating it out at that new Area45 place that sounds like a heart attack waiting to happen, who knows. While these activities may seem highly unlikely, the point is – it doesn’t matter. Because it’s Mother’s Day, and I’ll do as I please.

That about sums it up. #donotdisturb

Introducing Jasmine: A Farmington Hills Mom

By
jasminepatton
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Introducing Jasmine!

 :: Down with Detroit ::

I grew up on the east side of Detroit, Michigan born and raised until the age of 8 years old. I enjoyed frequent trips to Belle Isle, Sunday treats of Faygo Root beer Floats, and Saturday visits to the Better Made potato factory just around the corner from our modest home during the mid-80’s. My grandparents were married 1 month shy of 50 years raising 18 biological children all born and raised in Detroit. Coming from a huge family my childhood memories consisted of cookouts, listening to clean music, games, and regular laughter. Detroit laid the foundation for my grandparents and parents to instill the value of tradition, family, and community in me. For a little girl whose father emphasized the importance of dreaming larger than what your eyes can see, Detroit was magical to me.

At 8 years old I learned my mother, a NICU & Special Care Nursery coordinator for a local Detroit Hospital, was expecting a set of twins. Our family expanded from two to four and we needed more room and almost overnight I went from a city girl to a suburbanite spending the rest of my upbringing in West Bloomfield, MI. The cultural differences were night and day. I went from an environment of seeing and being around others that looked just like me to become fully aware that “I was different.” There were highlights and growing pains as to be expected with this type of drastic transition but the roots of who I was never wavered. I loved knowing my neighbors and the local business owners by name in the city. I learned to bring that love my neighbor, local business supporter, girl next door vibe everywhere I went in any zip code I lived. It’s a Midwest girl thing sure but there is no doubt in my mind that it is because of the spirit of community and family that was cultivated in Detroit, the D will always feel like home. 

:: My Life ::

The oldest of my parent’s children, I always felt this responsibility to take care of everyone. Partially because of the generic role we play in our family dynamics but mainly because my parents are givers. My father, an entrepreneur of 40+ years, encouraged buying from people that we knew and had relationships with. It was important to him that we understood the meaning of supporting our own and giving back. My mother a “baby whisperer” in her own right spent her personal and professional time (30+ years) as a caregiver for infants & seniors. I found myself somewhere in the middle finding my happy place in volunteering. Connecting with community in non-profit work and in my personal time refilled my cup. At the time I thought this type of work would always keep me balanced. After working for a non-profit for 7 years and looking at the life I created for myself I felt reassured that I was a good person but to be honest I didn’t feel necessarily happy. I felt worn down, unappreciated (intentional or unintentional), and that I spent so much time giving back and focusing on being there for everyone else that I left myself behind.

My health quickly took a downward spiral and an internal alarm went off telling me it was time to make a change. After several doctors visits and specialists appointments I was left with a stack of medical bills and no definitive diagnosis. I was determined to learn as much as I could about my health to alleviate my symptoms. What I knew for certain, I was not taking care of myself and I had to make a change. I studied a lot on my own and followed what I felt was right for my body. After making the decision to just “try” doing the opposite of what I had been doing I saw results. I learned my body was overloaded with toxins and after collaborating with a functional medicine doctor I was able to get to the root cause. This began my health & wellness journey through creating TRUE balance for myself. I live a simple lifestyle, with natural approaches to my self-care and well-being. This path has worked best for me in losing 120 pounds and finding my best self. During this shift in my life I transitioned from a helper to a healer as a health coach for women. I desire this level of self-care and discovery for every mom based on her individual needs, lifestyle, and her own rules.

:: Babies & Beyond ::

Two weeks after I ended an unbalanced relationship with my ex that was no longer serving both of us, I learned I was pregnant. I was terrified and embarrassed to become a single mom. Fast forward 9 months into an emergency c-section and a two-week stay in the NICU I was more than terrified to lose my son. Medical professionals prepared and warned me that I would have to watch for signs of autism and the high probability of a host of medical conditions my son would face. I learned the value of having faith when I became a mother for the first time. Since that day, my son and I together have created a story of doing things our way. He is a healthy 4 year old who understands the life lesson that it is ok to be different.

My hope is that my story of self-care, health, child food allergies, co-parenting with compassion (even when it is not returned), and dating as a single mom will reach the heart of other mamas who can relate. I am a mother who simply made a decision that what I was doing wasn’t working and now I get to consciously choose to try a different approach . . . new mistakes and all. 

What to Give Any Mother This Mother’s Day

By
KatieBeth
-

Acknowledgement.

Let me back this up for you. Take a minute. Think of a mother you know. Any mother. Whether it is your mother, wife, grandmother, girlfriend, friend, sister, cousin, niece, daughter, or (for whatever reason you are not with her) your child’s mother. Now the next time you are around this woman, look at her. Put your phone down, put the controller down, turn the TV off. Actually LOOK at this mother. What is she doing? Maybe she is cooking dinner, or picking up toys. Giving the kids a bath, or getting herself ready. Getting some work done, or sitting on the couch next to you. Look at her. Do you see what she is doing? Now think about why she is doing what she is doing and what led to her deciding to do this.

She is cooking dinner (possibly even a couple different dinners for any picky eaters in the family) for her family, making sure they are fed, probably even losing a battle of trying to get the kids to eat veggies. Now watch as she eats her dinner last, when it’s already gotten cold. Watch how she gives away what’s on her plate because the kids or the dog wants it. She puts her own physical need for food behind because making sure everyone else is taken care of first is her priority.

Look at this working woman. She is working a job outside of the home (whether it is full-time or part-time) for whatever reason. She excels at her job, all while making sure she is still a constant, positive, and present part of her children’s lives. She tirelessly works around the clock to provide the best life she can for her children.

Is she picking up toys or giving the kids a bath? Notice how she has stains on her clothes and her hair has been pulled up off her face. Notice how she does not hesitate to pick up something disgusting that has spilled on the floor. Or how the kids will drench her with water while splashing in the tub. Now think about how many times you have seen her do this same activity in the last week, month, year. These everyday tasks that she performs over and over again. She is exhausted and a mess, overwhelmed and frazzled. And not only does she do these things before she sits down and relaxes for herself. But she does these things with a smile on her face. Because she knows that these everyday tasks are the moments that become memories in her eyes and in the eyes of her children.

The moment a woman becomes a mom, it becomes instinctual that she is no longer living her life for herself. She is in charge of not only keeping a tiny human alive, but teaching that tiny human how to survive and thrive in this crazy world. This reflex of putting these tiny humans ahead of ourselves, is often overlooked and underappreciated by people who are not mothers. So do the mothers in your life a favor, and ACKNOWLEDGE what she does. Thank her and show genuine appreciation for how strong, resilient, generous, loving, thoughtful, nonstop, and incredible she is.

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