It has been over a month since school started and hopefully you have had a minute to settle into the routine of the school year. It seems to be love or hate, and I for one love the hustle and bustle of the school year. I enjoy that stack of papers that kids bring home that first week of school outlining the year. I sit with my planner and my colored pens, making notes of all the important dates and events.
Reading over the social calendar from the PTO, however, has always been a favorite. I look forward to mother-son date night and the daddy daughter dance. After a two-year run on the board, my appreciation for that list is immeasurable…
In the current model, it’s exhausting to be on the PTO. Gone are the days of the “it moms” and their little clique effortlessly running the bake sale stand. Currently running the PTO is dealing with how to help teachers in the middle of some of the worst budget cuts where even paper is a hot commodity. Being on the PTO is similar to running a small business, managing funds and marketing on social media. The PTO has to make sure they are reaching families who, without fail, will call the day after an event and say, “I had no idea that was even happening!” All of this is, of course, after three flyers were sent home, daily Facebook reminders were posted, and even text messages from the teacher were sent.
My introduction to school volunteering
Three years ago I walked into my daughter’s school, finally as the parent of a kindergartener. I wanted to be involved; I wanted to be a part of her school just as much as she was. That is just my nature. I’ve always been a joiner. So, when there were PTO meetings, I went. Meeting after meeting for a school of over 500 students, the majority of parents never came. At the meetings there were always the same rotation of five parents in addition to the five board members. I volunteered where I could since I was a stay-at-home mom to a four-year-old and a newborn in addition to my daughter. Even when it wasn’t always the most convenient, I made it a priority to be visible.
The end of that year came and I happily joined the board for the following year. I had no idea what I was doing, but it was OK; I was there and happy to help. As the year went on though, I started to really notice the lack of parent involvement. The end of the year came, and I was approached to be the president. I was currently Secretary #2, so there were already many people ahead of me on the board, all of which had admittedly put in so much of their time and effort, but they were ready to step down. I was approached and told, “If you aren’t president, we don’t have anyone else.” So began an endeavor that changed how I view school involvement.
Changing the way we look at volunteering
We have to change how we approach volunteering in our schools. We have to find ways to break through to parents how absolutely necessary it is. I’m not saying you need to be there for every event, every time. If we took a step back and said all you need to do is commit three hours once a year, we would be covered in every aspect, and you would be showing your kids you want to be there.
It might sound harsh, but the reality is you don’t want to. It’s not that you can’t, or you don’t have time, because I see you at the event. You want to just walk around and enjoy; you don’t want to contribute to the organizing and planning. Parents need to stop complaining and giving suggestions with no intention of helping see those ideas through. It is amazing how many people don’t follow directions and then complain that things aren’t organized.
As I enter this year I finally understand how the board that went before me felt. The mental exhaustion from wondering if the bagel sales are covered is enough to make your head spin. Knowing how many car spots are available for Trunk-or-Treat or whether or not we have the contract for Santa Land filled out and submitted starts to take its toll. This year I will help at an event or two, and that’s what I will give. Last month I attended our school’s Open House with my husband, and as the list for Room Mom sat with no signatures, he leaned over and asked if I was going to sign up. I laughed and said, “This year I will let someone else, and when they need help, I will be first in line.”
So, as president of a grade school PTO, I feel this. We want to build community, support the school’s needs and have some fun. I know some school’s have opted for a ‘send money and we’ll leave you alone’ alternative to volunteering. But at the end of the day, you still need hands to make the machine turn. We have the usual suspects who can always be counted on to fill in empty spots last minute. As PTO/School ambassadors, we need to do a better job of engaging the fringes. There are a lot of good people out there who want to help, but maybe don’t know how.
Communication is key. Across as many platforms as possible. And keep it simple. Instead of saying we need a superhero to head up our huge annual fundraiser – which sound overwhelming and awful – let’s break it down into bite size chunks. We need team members to mail donation letters. You can even do it from home. We need someone to pick up sodas at the local supermarket for the picnic. Etc. Doing so makes these jobs much more digestible and easier to incorporate into our busy lives.
We also need to do a better job of recapping and showing gratitude. Broadcast them in the news letters and on social media. Thank you to Sally, Joe and Mary for mailing 200 donation letters last week. Thanks Mike for picking up those sodas. When people feel appreciated they do more. It also lets everyone else know how many different jobs are happening behind the scenes to make everything come together. 😉