No, I Don’t Need a Daughter to Complete Our Family

Oh wow, three boys! So are you going to try for a fourth to get a daughter?

Strangers make statements like this to me on a regular basis. It always makes me stop and ask myself why people assume this. Why do we need a daughter to complete our family? Aren’t our three boys enough? Are boys somehow less desirable than girls?

Well, the short answer is – no. I don’t need a daughter to feel like our family is complete.

I’m not saying that because I think one gender is better than the other. They are equal in my eyes. I just know that our family feels complete with the three kids we have, regardless of their gender. I’m sure those of you that have all daughters get asked the same thing. “Are you going to try for a son, so your husband can have his boy?”

Please don’t assume.

I think our society assumes that all women have this innate need to have a daughter {or men to have a son} to look and act just like them. Don’t get me wrong; I’m sure that would have been fun. If you knew me growing up, you would know that I was a stereotypical girly girl. I was a dancer, on the varsity pom-pon team, into fashion, and completely boy-obsessed. So, I always imagined I would have a daughter. However, when we were in the hospital getting our 20-week sonogram, hoping for a baby girl was honestly the last thing on my mind. I was just praying for a healthy and happy BABY.

Surprise! It’s two more BOYS!

If you know my history with pregnancy, you’ll know we’ve been through more than most to get where we are today. I could not be more blessed to have not one but three amazing sons.

I knew when I married my husband that there would be a good chance I would become a boy mom. On my husband’s side of the family, there is a long line of men having boys. My father-in-law had two boys, his brother also had two boys, and my brother-in-law has three boys. I’m telling you, these Marshall men must only carry the Y chromosome.  

Photo Credit: Kristin Greenwald Photography

Some may think I may be missing out on typical mommy and daughter outings like manicures, trips to the American Girl store, and picking out the perfect prom dress. I know I’ll never be the mother of the bride. And my husband will never walk his daughter down the aisle. However, I can assure you, I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. I’ll be the loudest cheerleader on the sidelines at my son’s baseball games. I’ll take them on trips to LEGO store and help them pick out the perfect tuxedo for their wedding. And on their wedding day, I’ll beam with pride knowing that I taught them how to be the most loving and supportive husband {and father} one could ask for.

I love being a boy mom.

My days are filled with tripping over Matchbox cars, breaking up wrestling matches, searching for big sticks, laughing at poop jokes, and talking about sports. Being a mom of all boys has been more fun than I could’ve ever imagined. Who knew that I would be their favorite person on planet earth? My boys love me fiercely. I am their favorite cuddle partner, boo-boo kisser, hand holder, and tear-wiper. They look at me like the sun rises and sets in my eyes.  

Photo Credit: Kristin Greenwald Photography

I know there are some women {and men} out there who really do have a burning desire to have a specific gender child. And that is completely fine. But I know, without a doubt, my three sons are enough for me. I’m happy with the cards I’ve been dealt, and I wouldn’t change a thing.

On most days I feel like our family is complete. Just the five of us {well, six, including our fur baby}. But on those days when I dream of being pregnant again and holding another baby in my arms, I don’t picture a daughter. I picture a BABY.

If you have multiple children of the same gender, do you get the same comments?
Do you feel like you need one more child of the opposite gender to complete your family?

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Steffanie married her college sweetheart and now resides in Northville. She is a graduate of Michigan State University (go green!) and worked in advertising & marketing until she became a stay-at-home mom when she had three boys under 3 years old. She loves photography, crafting with the kids and making digital photo books. When she isn’t busy cleaning up Legos or kissing boo boos you will find her practicing yoga or curled up on the couch with some ice cream catching up on her favorite reality shows.


  1. I am a mom of six boys, currently expecting #7. After we found out the gender of #5, I got so tired of the condolences when people found out we were having, “ANOTHER” boy that I decided not to find out the gender anymore. I am perfectly happy to be a mom of all boys, and I get really tired of the assumption that the only reason we are having another is because we haven’t gotten a girl yet.

    • Meggan – First of all, congratulations on baby #7! That is amazing. You are extremely blessed. Thank you for sharing your comments about my post.

  2. I have two girls and everyone asked as soon as #2 was born- are you going to try for a boy? Um, no, we’re fine with the two children we have, thanks. Then life had other plans and I’m pregnant again (due next week, #2 will be 1 next month), and as soon as anyone hears it’s a boy, they comment that our family is now complete. We actually thought it was complete before so this unexpected surprise is a bonus, and we’re happy with either gender, thanks!

    • Sarah – I can only imagine how absolutely frustrating that is. Like you said, your family was complete with the 2 girls you had – now you just get to enjoy a bonus baby. Best of luck to you as you become a family of 5! How exciting.


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