Confessions From a Yoga Class

By

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June 26, 2017

I have been practicing yoga now for about 6 years. Before having Olivia I was on my mat almost every day and since I am lucky to get there once a week. My mat is always there for me. It catches me if I fall or even if I need to spend the entire class laying on my back. However, even with this relationship I have with my mat; I still struggle to keep my mind on my breath. Some classes I am so present. Some days I make it the whole class and realize my mind was in control the entire class; thinking about everything under the sun. We all have moments or even weeks where we leave class and wonder how it ended so fast. Our mind took over the whole class. In case you think you’re alone, here’s my internal dialog from a recent class:

I just spent 20 min trying to find a place to park and finally make it into class JUST in time.

Walking in I see the room is full; I am afraid to ask anyone to move and no one will make eye contact. I finally decided to ask someone to move over and I can sense their irritation. I don’t care- I have not been on my mat in a week and need the stillness. I lay on my back to catch a few moments of silence before class starts.

The thoughts start to flow. I forgot to shave my legs; I am actually not sure when the last time I shaved them was. I hope the teacher does not come anywhere near my feet as I also do not remember the last time I got a pedicure. When was the last time I washed my mat? Did I remember to tell Rick Olivia needed diapers for school tomorrow? I wonder what meetings I have tomorrow- I should check my calendar when I get out of here. Oh- the teacher is here.

She tells us to start in a seated position. SEATED?! I came here to lay on my mat. Fine. I will sit. I cross my legs and sit up tall. Does my back always hurt like this when I am sitting up tall? I have the worst posture. I thought yoga was supposed to help with this. Is the heat on in here? I wish it was hotter. Twist-Oh man- I probably should not have eaten so close to class. Breathe in and out through my nose- belly rises and falls- one breathe- two breaths. Is it possible to sit up tall for this long?

Plank. I am quite certain I need to lower my knees. Do I really? Can I hold it longer? My arms are shaking. My whole body is shaking. Who invented this pose? I wonder what song this is. Remember to ask the teacher who sings this. Speaking of singing- Don’t forget that those concert tickets go on sale tomorrow. Need babysitter- remember to ask Rick to schedule a sitter. I hope she is not booked. Did I remember to check in when I got here? I want to make sure everyone knows I came to class. Remember to check that before you leave.

Warrior 2- my favorite pose. Breathing deep- arms extended. Have my arms always felt like lead? Oh- this song is good too. I like this playlist. Lunging deep into my front leg- I am strong. One more breath- I feel strong. The guy in front of me is dripping sweat- I wish I sweat like that. TURN UP THE HEAT! Maybe I am not breathing deep enough.

Airplane. Fly. Balance. Breathe. You can do this. Add apples to the grocery list. Olivia has been eating a ton of apples lately. AH! I just touched the person next to me. How are they so sweaty??!?!

Childs Pose. Relief. Breathe. I think my mat smells. The teacher is handing out gentle massages. She is rubbing the person next to me. I am sure to be next. SHE PASSED OVER ME!!! I knew my mat smelled. SERIOUSLY- Can we turn up the heat?

Pigeon. My hips are screaming to be opened. Breathe. How did they get so tight? I used to be so flexible. I missed my mat. Breathe. Peace. I like this song too- this teacher has good music. Breathe.

Don’t forget Jens birthday; Call Amber back- I miss Amber. How did we get 2,000 miles away? Gratitude. How did I get so lucky? Breathe. Tears. I missed my mat. I love it here.

Savasana. I am exhausted. Did I even focus on breathing in this class? The teacher is handing out massages again. I feel closer to the earth. I feel peace. I like this song. I feel lighter. Breathe.

Namaste’

The Ultimate Guide to Free Summer Fun: Play Areas

By

taylorcapps

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June 26, 2017

Looking for a new place for your little ones to test their climbing and jumping and crawling skills? Maybe one where you can have a cup of coffee even? Check out one of these free locations this summer!

Climb and slide at The Commons at 242 Community Church. They have an impressive cafe in the same building if you work up an appetite and need lunch or a snack!

The Mall at Partridge Creek has a great kids area and fountains!

See the fish at the Bass Pro shop inside Great Lakes Crossing, then head toward their massive play place in the center of the mall!

Fill up on the fun at Fuel Cafe and Playscape at Ignition Church. Fuel features a four-story playscape, as well as snacks and specialty drinks w/beans from Great Lakes coffee.

Head over to Ward Church Playscape, and grab a coffee at their cafe while the kids play!

Drop into Backyard Playroom for a morning of fun on Tuesdays and Fridays. This volunteer run playroom is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen and will be lots of fun for toddlers and preschoolers.

The Ultimate Guide to Free Summer Fun: Water Fun

By

taylorcapps

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June 26, 2017

Nothing says summer better than dipping your toys in the water. Splash your way to a cool, free, summer experience at one of these local water holes.

Check out free splash pads at: Heritage Park in Farmington Hills (also be sure to visit their nature center while you are there!), McClumpha in Plymouth, and so many more! You can also see our Guide to Splash Pads, Water Parks, and Pools here!

Bring your own tube and float for free down the Argo Cascades, a series of mini-rapids on the Huron River in Ann Arbor! (Argo livery also has tubes for rent by the hour)

Find yourself downtown Detroit for the day? Enjoy some fun and cooling down in the fountains on the Riverwalk. Be sure to bring a change of clothes! 🙂

And if you are downtown, head further down the Detroit River a bit to explore Mt. Elliott Park with a pirate themed splash pad!

Head out to the Rochester Hills Museum for Wet and Wild Wednesdays with a giant slip and slide and more! (Every Wednesday in July from 12 – 2 PM)

Love the beach? Kensington has two beaches with plenty of room for swimming and sand castles! (A Metroparks Vehicle Entry Permit is required to visit) For minimal fees, you can also rent kayaks, paddleboats, or ride their water slides and enjoy their splash pad!

Live further North of Detroit? Stoney Creek Metro Park has an amazing beach as well! (A Metroparks Vehicle Entry Permit is required to visit)

Believe it or not, you can also go swimming in the Detroit River if you head to the beach on Belle Isle!

The Ultimate Guide to Free Summer Fun: Kids Classes and Events

By

taylorcapps

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June 26, 2017

School may be out but that doesn’t mean that a free class on something fun won’t entertain the kiddos! Keep their learning skills alive with one of these opportunities.

Both Home Depot and Lowe’s offer hands-on building classes for kids.

Punt, Pass and Kick offer kids 8+ the chance to hone their football skills in various contests on August 9.

Michael’s offers $2 Kids Club craft classes on Saturdays!

English Gardens offers a lot of cool FREE gardening workshops with lots of make and take projects!

The Ultimate Guide to Free Summer Fun: Local Museums

By

taylorcapps

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June 26, 2017

We are fortunate to have many local museums that offer a plethora of different options for free fun for kids young and old. Whether you need shelter from the sun, a space to burn off some energy on a rainy day, or just want to enrich your kid’s minds, you’re sure to develop a favorite this summer.

Travel back in time through the streets of old Detroit at the Detroit Historical Museum. Personal favorites include: watching a car assembly, creating your own music in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and viewing the impressive Glancy toy train collection.

Detroit Institute of Arts has a world-renowned art collection and a Family Sunday program designed with kids in mind.

Can’t get enough art? Head to MOCAD (Museum of Contemporary Art and Design) in Detroit to check out the latest exhibit. While a donation is suggested, admission is free.

After the DIA, you can head to the International Institute nearby. They have extensive collections of dolls, model ships, and more. They also have a great cafe in the basement.

Take a trip to Belle Isle and visit one of the oldest aquariums in the US. The architecture is even more amazing than the aquatic life inside.

Then head next door to the Anna Scripps Whitcomb Conservatory and check out each of its five sections: The Palm House, The Showroom, The Fernery, The Cactus Room, and The Tropical House.

Hop aboard a simulated speedboat, head inside an old pilot house, and learn about Detroit’s role in maritime history at Dossin Great Lakes Museum.

Visit Cranbrook Institute of Science in Bloomfield Hills, on the first Friday of the month between 5 and 10:00 PM for free admission.

Want to see a Picasso live, in person? You can, at The University of Michigan Museum of Art!

While you’re on campus, check out dinosaurs at The University of Michigan Museum of Natural History.

Visit Kelsey Museum of Archaeology, where you can see tons of ancient artifacts, including a mummy!

Michigan Science Center offers free admission several times throughout the year- keep an eye out for dates!

Check out The Henry Ford Museum on a free day, sponsored by Target. dates are listed on their website.

Check out the tiny art gallery behind the DIA called the Scarab Club to see the latest art installation!

Explore the Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History which features a series of exhibits, lectures, concerts, cultural celebrations, festivals and programs designed especially for children.

What My Graduating Senior Has Taught Me About Parental Control

By

chelguild

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June 25, 2017

If you’re the parent of a graduating senior, this is probably a bittersweet time for you, and you may be wondering how this person you’ve raised, who is now officially an adult, is going to make it “out there” when he or she is still a child in so many ways. I mean, what are they thinking with some of the stuff they post online, #amiright? Then again, what were we thinking with some of the choices we made at their age . . . and how can we stop them from doing the same?! Here’s the thing: we can’t. And no one knows the struggle of giving up parental control more than I do, friend.

I met my daughter when she was five years old. I was dating her father, and her biological mother wasn’t in the picture. Just a kid myself, at 20, I naively thought that all of the complexities that usually go along with blended families wouldn’t apply to us since there wasn’t an “ex” to contend with. I didn’t take into account that children often suffer from attachment disorder if they don’t properly bond with their mothers before the age of two, which makes it incredibly challenging to establish relationships with anyone, let alone a step-parent.

After her father and I were married, we thought maybe her fears would be put to rest if I legally adopted her, so I did just that. I was tested relentlessly, however, and nothing I did seemed to be right (to my daughter, to her father, or to anyone else with an opinion . . . and there were lots of them). Thorough research on the topic and years of counseling taught me that kids with attachment issues ultimately need one thing from you, and that’s for you to never give up on them. While my relationship with her father has long since dissolved, I have continued to be this girl’s mother, even when it hasn’t been easy.

When I left my ex-husband, I decided that the best thing for our daughter was for her to continue to live with him and to have regular visitation with me. While I disapproved of the way she was being raised, I also knew that she needed consistency and that uprooting her from the one person she had always been with would likely cause more problems. (She wasn’t in a dangerous or abusive situation, so I had to remind myself of the healthiest living arrangement for everyone involved. With me in the mix daily, there was a lot of fighting, admittedly.)

Reader, the constant internal struggle of this decision was real! I tortured myself asking, what kind of mother doesn’t take custody of her own child? I may technically be her step-mother, but legally I made that child my own, and I am my harshest critic. Imagine watching your daughter venture into her teen years from a distance, and not being able to regulate a single thing she does. You have no say, no ability to provide consequences when she breaks the rules, and your best hope for influencing her lies in pep talks and leading by example. I’m not her aunt, her godmother, or her friend. I’m her mother, the single biggest influencer in a human being’s life, in my humble opinion. If I haven’t liked something along the way, shouldn’t I have taken control? The short answer is no. What “control” does any mother really have over a teenager anyway?

Sure, had she been with me all this time she would have been involved with a church, been volunteering right alongside me, had a driver’s license and a job by now, as these are all things we value in my home. Perhaps, you’ve done all of the “right” things with your own teen, but is there value in forcing kids into these character-building activities? I don’t mean to be a hover-parent, but often my answer is yes! (Though at one point, I realized calling her school all the time wasn’t actually helping.) In my case, had my daughter been under my roof, there also would have been a lot of tension and drama. In the nature versus nurture game, I can’t contend with her genetics. Her biological parents are very different from me, so it’s hard for me to relate to why my daughter might make the choices she does.

Despite my best efforts as the non-custodial parent, my teenage daughter does what she wants, and maybe yours does, too, even if you have custody. As she turns 18 and graduates high school, I have to let go. I have to let go of what I should or shouldn’t have done. I have to become OK with letting her go off into the world and fail a few times. I have to remind myself that I can’t control what happens from this point on and that maybe I never had control to begin with.

I also have to remember all of the hope and excitement I had for her when I walked her into her first day of Kindergarten. (I suddenly have something in my eye . . .) Commencement means beginning, after all.

2019 Metro Detroit Splash Pads & Pools

By

dianaabdallah

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June 25, 2017

The summer heat has made its entrance and we know you’re looking for some fun places to cool down! Luckily for us, metro Detroit is filled with splash pads and water parks! Better yet, many of them are free! Check out our exclusive list of water fun throughout metro-Detroit. Scroll down to your county ( the list is organized by county in alphabetical order) to find out what’s in your area!

*CLICK on the park name to visit their website for more information!*

Macomb County

Brandenburg Park Splash Pad {Chesterfield Twp}

50050 Jefferson Avenue, Chesterfield Twp, MI

Open: 11am-7pm daily

Cost: $5/vehicle

City Square Park {Warren}

One City Square, Warren, MI 48093

Open: 11am-7pm Monday – Saturday

9am – 7pm Sundays

Cost: FREE

Lake St. Clair Metropark Squirt Zone {Harrison Township}

31300 Metro Parkway, Harrison Township, MI 48045

Open: 11am – 7pm daily

Cost: $10/daily park permit

Dodge Park Splash Pad {Sterling Heights}

40620 Utica Road, Sterling Heights, MI 48310

Open: Noon-8pm Mondays

10am – 8pm Tuesdays – Sundays

Cost: Residents/Free $5/Non-Residents

Pop Jet Fountains at Partridge Creek {Clinton Township}

17420 Hall Rd, Clinton Township, MI 48038

Open: 10am-9pm Monday-Saturday, 11am-6pm Sunday

Cost: FREE

Chief Gene Sheperd Splash Pad {Shelby Twp.}

2452 23 Mile Road, Shelby Twp., MI 48316

Open: 11am-7pm.

Cost: $2/child. Must be Shelby Twp. or Utica resident or guest of a resident.

Veterans Memorial Park {St. Clair Shores}

32400 Jefferson Avenue, St Clair Shores, MI 48082

Open: 10am-8pm Daily

Cost: Seasonal park pass required. Must be St. Clair resident or guest of a resident.

Oakland County

Heritage Park Splash Pad {Farmington Hills}

24915 Farmington Rd, Farmington Hills, MI 48336

Open: 10am-8pm

Cost: FREE

Indian Springs Metropark’s Spray ‘n’ Play {White Lake}

5200 Indian Trail, White Lake, MI 48386.

Open: 11am-7pm daily.

Along with the splash pad enjoy rock-climbing wall, cargo net, a fenced maze, a painted labyrinth, spinning buckets, and a hillside slide

Cost: $10/daily park admission or $35/annual vehicle permit

Oak Park Pool {Oak Park}

14300 Oak Park Blvd, Oak Park, MI 48237

Open: 2-7pm Monday-Thursday; 1-8pm Friday; 1-6pm Saturday-Sunday.

Cost: $3/4-54 $2/55+ Free/3 and under Add $2 for Non-Residents.

Kensington Splash n’ Blast {Milford}

2240 Buno Road, Milford MI 48380.

Open: 11am-7pm Daily

Enjoy the beach, splash pad, and water slides.

Cost: $10 Kensington Park admission. Splash n’ Blast Pass: $6/adults, $5/children, children under 2 free.

$35/annual vehicle permit

Seymour Lake Park- KLR Splash Pad Pavillion {Oxford}

2795 Seymour Lake Road, Oxford, MI 48371

Open: 11am-6pm.

Cost: Free for Oxford Twp resident under 2 and adults. $1/Oxford resident age 2-17, $4/non -resident.

Red Oaks Waterpark {Madison Heights}

1455 East 13 Mile Road Madison Heights, MI 48071

Open: M-F 11am-7pm, Sat.-Sun. 10am-7pm.

Includes water playground with 68 features, a Spray & Play, and toddler water play area.

Cost: $17/Monday – Friday $20/weekend and holiday. Discounts for residents, seniors, and twilight

Southfield Sports Arena Outdoor Pool & Kids Spray Poo l {Southfield}

26000 Evergreen Rd, Southfield MI 48076

Open: 12:30pm – 6pm, Monday – Wednesday

12:30pm – 5pm Thursday

12:30pm – 6pm Friday – Saturday

12:30pm – 3:30pm Sunday

Cost: $4/children above 2, $5/adults. Add $1 if non-resident.

Troy Family Aquatics Center {Troy}

3425 Civic Center Drive, Troy MI 48084.

Open: 11am-7:30pm. Includes a pool, sand volleyball, sand play and waterslides.

Cost: $10/resident daily pass, $15/ non-resident day pass. Season, yearly, and family pass also available.

Renee Przybylski Memorial Spray Park {Clarkston}

6000 Clarkston Road, Clarkston, MI 48348

Open: 10am-7pm daily

Cost: $2/resident, $4/non-resident

Kennedy Aquatic Center {Trenton}

3101 West Road, Trenton, MI 48183

Open: 12-7pm Monday; 12pm-5pm Tuesday; 12pm – 7pm Wednesday -Thursday

12-9pm Friday; 11am-7pm Saturday-Sunday.

Cost: $5/resident, $7/non-resident; Free/4 under

Waterford Oaks Waterpark {Waterford}

1702 Scott Lake Road, Waterford, MI 48328

Open: 11am – 3pm Daily

Cost: $8/weekdays, $13/weekends. Discounts for residents.

Washtenaw County

Blue Heron Bay Spray Zone {Whitmore Lake}

3200 Jennings Road, Whitmore Lake, MI 48189

Open: 11am-7pm daily

Cost: $6/vehicle daily admission for residents; $10/non residents.

Water park entrance fee: $4/ resident $5/non-resident

Fuller Park Pool & Waterslide {Ann Arbor}

1519 Fuller Road, Ann Arbor, MI 48105

Open: 10:30pm-8pm open to public. Weekends: 1pm-8pm

Cost: $4/seniors and youths, $5/adults, FREE for children 3 and under.

Rolling Hills Water Park {Ypsilanti}

7660 Stony Creek Road, Ypsilanti, MI 48197

Open: 11am-7pm/Weekdays; 11am-8pm/Weekends and Holidays

Cost: $8/Over 42″, $6/36″-42″ , FREE for 36″ and under Add $3 for Weekends

Add $2 for Non-Washtenaw Residents

Vehicle Parking $6 (Washtenaw County residents)

*Splash Pad currently under construction*

Veterans Memorial Park Outdoor Pool {Ann Arbor}

2150 Jackson Avenue, Ann Arbor, MI 48103

Open: 1-8pm Monday – Friday Noon – 8pm Saturday & Sunday

Tot Splash 7 &under 12-1pm Monday-Friday

Cost: $4/seniors, $5/adults, $4/youth, FREE/3 and under.

Wayne County

Foldin Park Splash Pad {Canton}

Saltz Road and Morton Taylor, Canton, MI 48188

Open: 6am-10pm daily.

Cost: FREE

Handy Park {Redford}

26650 Capitol Ave, Redford Charter Twp, MI 48240

Open: noon-7pm Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

Cost: FREE

H20 Zone Spray Ground {Westland}

36601 Ford Road, Westland, MI 48185

Open: 11am-8pm, daily.

Cost: Daily passes- $3/resident, $10/non-resident.

Lyle C. VanHouten Park Spray Park {Dearborn Heights}

6044 Silvery Lane, Dearborn Heights, MI 48127

Open: noon-6pm weekends.

Cost: FREE

Lake Erie Metropark Wave Pool {Brownstown}

32481 W Jefferson Ave, Brownstown Charter Twp, MI 48173

Open: 10am-6pm weekdays, 11am-8pm weekends and holidays.

Cost: $8/adults, $6/children and seniors, FREE/children under 30”. Discounted Twilight prices.

Mt. Elliot Park {Detroit}

110 Mt. Elliot Street, Detroit, MI 48207

Open: 10am-9pm

Cost: FREE

Mt. Elliott Park

Wayne County Family Aquatic Center {Detroit}

12600 Chandler Park Detroit, MI 48213

Open: 11am-7pm

Cost: $7/13yrs+; $5/3-12yrs; $2/2years and under

Add $1 for Non-Wayne Country Resident

Romulus Aquatic Center {Romulus}

35765 Northline Road, Romulus, MI 48174

Open: 12-8pm daily

Cost: $8/Residents $10/Non-Residents

Palmer Park {Detroit}

910 Merrill Plaisance, Detroit, MI 48203

Open: 10am-8pm daily

Cost: FREE

Willow Pool {New Boston}

23200 S. Huron Road New Boston, MI 48164

Open: 11am-7pm Monday-Friday; 11am-8pm Weekends

Cost: $4/pool charge $10/vehicle daily permit

Thorn Park Splash Pad {Brownstown}

21311 Telegraph Rd, Trenton MI 48183

Open: Three sessions: 11am-1pm, 1:30pm-3:30pm, and 4pm-6pm (residents only session).

Cost: $2/session

Turtle Cove Family Aquatic Center {Belleville}

17845 Savage Road, Belleville, MI 48111

Open: 11am-7pm weekdays; 11am-8pm weekends and holidays.

Cost: Adult 48′ and above/$10, Children under 48″/$8, Children under 30″/FREE

$10/vehicle daily permit.

The Sprayscape {Plymouth}

46640 Ann Arbor Trail, Plymouth, MI 48170

Open: 10am-7:30pm daily

Cost: FREE

Genesee County

Blue Bell Beach & Splash Pad {Flint}

5500 Bray Road, Flint, MI 48505.

Open: 8am-8pm.

Cost: FREE splash pad admission.

Buttercup Beach {Columbiaville}

7698 N. Baxter Road, Columbiaville, MI 48423.

Open: 8am-8pm.

Cost: FREE admission.

Torzewski County Park & Wetlands Water Play {Lapeer}

2051 Pero Lake Rd, Lapeer, MI 48446.

Open: 11am-6pm.

Cost: $6 all access pool and slides; $5/pool only; children under 2 are free. *cash only

DIY Preschool: Tips to Support Your Little Reader!

By

Lindsey

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June 23, 2017

You are your child’s first and most important teacher, and your most important assignment to prepare them for school is read, read and read some more! As I mentioned in my first DIY Preschool post, if you do nothing else to incorporate preschool into your days at home, read! I can truly say as a former Kindergarten and First Grade teacher reading at home has a tremendous impact on your child’s readiness to learn to read. DMB has had some great posts in the past about reading, including this one on tips to encourage reading at home. The good news is there is nothing fancy or complicated you need to do together, all you need to do is cuddle up and enjoy a story with your little one, and incorporate a few of the following tips.

Use the Pictures

From an early age, you can ask your child to point to things in the book you’re reading together, for example, “point to the dog on this page.” As children get older, you can ask them more advanced questions, “can you find the page where Max gets in the boat?” or “what on this page shows us it’s about to rain?” Using the pictures in a book is a very important skill once children start reading, and teaching them to notice and reference illustrations early is a great tool to have in their reader’s toolkit!

Ask Questions

It’s easy to go into autopilot when reading, but asking your child questions about the story is a great way to build their comprehension skills. Yes, reading the actual words is important, but understanding and interpreting what you have read is equally important, and something that will be assessed on a regular basis in elementary school. Frequently ask your child what they think will happen next in a story, what they think characters are feeling, and what they think about what is happening. When you’re done reading, ask them to retell the story to you, or what their favorite part was.

Read Familiar Books

It may be maddening to read the same story for the hundredth time in a row, but showing a desire to read a favorite story over and over is a sign of a growing reader! Reading familiar and favorite books helps children understand patterns and story concepts in books, a very important concept for learning to read! Switch things up when you can by encouraging your child to “read” their favorite book to you, using the pictures to tell the story, and offer lots of praise when they do! Embrace and enjoy the reading of favorite books, while also throwing new ones into the mix when you can.

Extend the Story

Take that favorite story one step further, and strengthen your child’s reading skills even more! Ask them to draw a picture of their favorite part or character in the story. Make puppets of characters and use a cardboard box to make the scenery and put on a puppet show. Cook something yummy the characters were eating in the story. A quick Pinterest search of most popular children’s books results in lots of fun ideas for activities to take the story further, all while strengthening your child’s comprehension skills and love of reading!

Storytime at the Library

Sometimes it’s nice to let someone else take over, and your local librarian is the perfect person to help support your child’s developing literacy skills! Your local library likely has a storytime just right for your child’s age, and it’s free! If your local library’s story time doesn’t work for your schedule, see if another neighborhood nearby has a story time that will. Some storytimes require registering, but many do not, and it’s possible to hop in and join when you can. While you’re at the library don’t forget to check out a few books to enjoy at home, and include your child in the selection process.

What if my kid HATES to read?

Some children would rather do just about anything else than sit down and read a book, and that’s OK. For these kids, try finding books about one of their interests and see if that helps motivate them to read with you, or explore books independently. Your local bookstore or librarian can help you find great books for your little princess, dinosaur or truck enthusiast. Books that feature different textures and lift and peek flaps can also be enticing, and reading books in your silliest voice may also draw in a reluctant reader. Giving books a try at times other than bedtime may help, snack and meal times and long rainy afternoons are good opportunities to try. And if nothing seems to be working, have faith and try again another day in another way. The fact that you’re trying sends the message to your child that reading is important and valuable, which is a great lesson.

Fan Section: Population One

By

allysondunn

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June 23, 2017

That chair. Fan section: population one.

My son’s fan section at any given sporting event or activity, ninety-nine percent of the time consistents of one person. Me.

Sure, sometimes, the other kids at baseball and soccer have one parent or person cheering them on. Reminding them to keep their eye on the ball, keep their focus. For my son, it is usually just me. Just me, the single mom.

Not to say I am literally the only single mom in the fan stand, but it definitely feels that way at times. There I sit in my big green chair, slightly offset from the others, careful not to impend on any other family’s space. With that being said, it can be difficult to navigate these family events and situations as a singleton, (Bridget Jones reference).

When placed in situations with all coupled up families, it can be totally nerve-wracking to start a conversation or keep the conversation going. (#awkawrdsmalltalk) Especially once the “what does your husband do?”, or the “where is your husband?” questions pop up. If you are like me, I stumble and scatter over this response. “Er. Um…” Is usually my response, then it feels like they are looking at me like I am a unicorn. Sometimes, the conversation dies out after this. Why is that? Or, alternatively, this question doesn’t phase you. If attending these family-based activities alone does add an element of awkward for you, keep these things in mind:

No one probably cares, or truly notices. (Truly, most people don’t care. You are really are not sticking out like a sore thumb.)
You did show up! You are the one in the cheering section. (Yay, mama!)
Get out of your own head. (Easier said than done, and can be super hard for me to do.) Try to engage the other parents in some conversation, even a quick hello, or how are you. Break up that isolated feeling, and space.

What I am truly trying to say is, you are there. YOU. ARE. THERE. Single mama, fan section of one, your son or daughter will not remember that you were there alone. They are going to remember that you were there, supporting them. Although, sometimes easier said than done, don’t let being the only solo parent there take you away from your purpose on that soccer field, very early on a Saturday, possibly in the rain. You are there to champion and support your child! Cheer on, mama!

Victory! Watching my son master his skills at karate.

Single mama’s, have you experienced that awkward feeling on the sports field or other family events? How do you handle it?

Dealing with Age Gaps and Bridging the Great Divide

By

bettydannewitz

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June 22, 2017

I have two daughters. Two lovely angels sent directly from above. They are great girls. They get along well, most of the time. But lately, I find myself struggling when it comes time to have some fun together. See – my daughters are 5 years apart. When Lucy was 7 and Sally was 2, activities were simple.

Wanna go to the play place at the mall? YES! Wanna go to the zoo and see the monkeys? YES! No worries. They had a great time together.

As they grew, more of the same. When Lucy was 10 and Sally was 5, sometimes it got a little sticky but finding something we could do together was still relatively easy.

Wanna go to the park? YES! Wanna go to the Petting Farm? YES! Easy. Fun was easy.

Nowadays, not so much. Lucy is almost 15 and Sally is 9. Suddenly the not so great divide has become the Grand Canyon of space between ages. Recently, I took a day off work and wanted to just do something fun with my gals. Figuring I will just do as I always do and ask them what they wanna do. It was not that easy.

Wanna go to the movies and see the latest animated flick? Sally says YES! Lucy says EH. Wanna go play Putt-Putt at Midway? Lucy says YES! Sally says NAH.

Deep breaths. What do you want to do girls?

Lucy says go to the DIA (Detroit Institute of Arts). Sally looks horrified at this idea. Sally says go to Skyzone. Lucy says HARD PASS. Deep long sigh.

This age difference thing – I always knew there was potential for it to be an issue. I am thankful that so far the only thing affected is the fun factor. But this is tough. I want to provide opportunities and activities that both girls love to do – things that bring us closer together. As they get older that seems more difficult.

Do I split the time between them? Do I make the younger do what the older wants or the older do what the younger wants? What is the right approach? Why is this suddenly so hard? I found the answer in the question. It’s hard because they ARE different ages. So how do I bridge that great divide?

I find myself going back to the basics. We read books and host board game nights. We play cards and ride scooters and take walks. We serve together at the church and in the community. We try new restaurants. We go window shopping (when Sally is in the mood). We go grocery shopping (I have to teach them how to do these things) and visit grandparents. We go to the beach and we just do life together.

I found I was putting too much pressure on myself to entertain them, and that at this stage I have a great opportunity to teach them that life is not only about entertainment. This is the time to really teach them about relationships – how important they are to create, build and maintain. I am teaching them that life doesn’t just happen for you – you make life happen. You have to cook your food and do your dishes and fold your laundry. And there can be great satisfaction in doing those things for yourself. Is it entertaining? Not always. But it is necessary. And doing these things makes the time you have for entertainment more rewarding.

My job as a parent is to raise well-rounded, self-sufficient, functioning and contributing members of society. To do that, they have to know balance. Entertainment is part of that, but only a small part.

Detroit Mom

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