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Tell me it’s not just my kid…

DAMJON - SCHOOL

 

If you have ever met my son you know he is so funny, full of love and life. His imagination is WILD and he is so super crazy! Well… I guess he was all of these things but ever since school ended I have seen a BIG difference in my son. His outlook on everything is SO NEGATIVE and he is BORED all day long. I will say let’s go on a bike ride and he instantly complains that it is ‘so boring’ I feel like he has become more aggressive and mean toward other kids. Especially when they don’t agree on what game they will be playing next.

There have been so many nights where I just lay with him and cry thinking ‘where did my sweet boy go?” I’m not sure if it’s because there is not much of a routine now that school is out OR if this is the way he will be from now on but I can’t help but worry.

I have been noticing that I yell at him a lot more often, it seems like that is the ONLY way to get through to him these days. So I have been trying to change my attitude towards things too but with a full time job and a baby my stress level and patience has been VERY SHORT. Before bed I try to say things like “Damjon, I know today wasn’t a good day but what do you think we can do to make tomorrow better?” Some days that works but some days not so much. I try to encourage him daily and tell him how much I love him but the second things don’t go his way he snaps back with “you don’t love me” or “I don’t like you anymore Mommy”

Breaks my heart because I am only trying my best and I know he is just a kid …

So now I am reaching out to all you mamas who may have dealt with or are currently dealing with this situation today. It’s hard for me to believe that at only five years old a kid can just be so negative about everything. I mean what kid doesn’t like to ride his bike to the nearest dairy queen?

I am looking forward to a new school year – hoping a normal routine every day will bring back my sweet, funny boy!

 

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Can’t we all just get along??

Why exactly do we “mom bash” each other? I believe I am correct in assuming that a good 95% of us will cite one of the best days in our lives as the day we became moms. So why is it that we find the need to criticize how other moms choose to fulfill that dream? Being a mom is hard work, and I’ve only been a mom for 19 months. We are bound to make mistakes on our paths to figuring it all out but it only makes it harder on ourselves when another mom is right there ready to judge.

 

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In the days of social media all the time, and the ability for everyone to put their two senses in on anything they feel like, we need to not only grow thicker skin, but we have this higher standard of perfection as a mom. Not one week goes by that I don’t see an article being shared on Facebook, an opinion or question on a mom blog, or hear a story on the radio or news talking about how one parent handled a situation with their child and inviting anyone to weigh in on whether or not they did the right thing. Why is this anyone’s business? More importantly, why is this news? With the constant complaint that women are still not equal to men, isn’t it about time that we support each other instead of pointing out each other’s weaknesses?

 

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I breastfed my child and formula fed my child. I used disposable diapers. I tried making her baby food but gave in to the easier alternative of buying it. I only buy organic milk for her. I only wash her clothes in baby detergent. I let her watch Sesame Street. I only let her sleep in our bed when she wakes up from a nightmare. I let other people watch her during the day. I discipline her when she does something wrong. These are the ways I have chosen to be a mom. Each decision was made for whatever reason it was made. It’s no one else’s business but my own and my husband’s. I know I probably already have and will make more mistakes in this journey called motherhood but they are my mistakes to make and learn from. Why don’t we give all other mothers the same courtesy?

 

Confessions of an Overworked Mom

 It really doesn’t matter if you are mom working inside or outside the home. Let’s face it – either way you are working and trying your best to make time to fit it all in. For our kids, our partners, our chores, our health, our hobbies, our families and whatever else and it’s not easy.

I wondered if there were things in my day I could do to make more time. See if I was being wasteful or worse, selfish. I decided to write out my day to see where I could do better. Following is my confessional. Turns out I am neither wasteful nor selfish; I just need a housekeeper, cook, driver, personal trainer and babysitter. In other words, I need a wife!

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5:00 am – Wake up at the butt-crack of dark. Curse my sleeping husband. Stub toe on something I can’t see in the dark on my way to the bathroom.

5:15 am – Leave for gym. Talk myself down from the irrational fear that I’ll be mugged in my driveway this early while everyone sleeps.

6:15 am – Get home from gym and get ready for day. No leisurely shower for you my friend. Fast and furious before anyone wakes up and interrupts that “Me” time.

7:00 am – Wake the toddler and dress her. Give 2 options for outfit which won’t matter because they are not a tutu and super girl cape. Debate ponytail or barrette.

7:10 am – Breakfast for Toddler. This one is easy; Gogurt, strawberries and …. Not so fast. She’s not feeling that today.

7:20 am – Brush teeth. We do this together as a game of Ready? Set. Go! It’s a flurry of brushing and blue foam and spitting and it’s SO fun.

7:25 am – Make coffee in to-go cup and load car with all our bags. Thank you Keurig. I am forever in your debt for making ONE THING in my life that can be started and completed in under a minute.

7:30 am – Leave for daycare. Miracle of miracles we might be on time today.

7:40 am – Drop off/leave for work. Call mom for daily chat while I’m alone and Dad is sleeping. Hear all about doctor appointments and tell her about potty training. Who are we?

8:30 am – Arrive at office. It’s quiet. Is it Saturday? Check phone. No. OK.

8:35 am – Eat a yogurt and granola bar while sorting emails and prepping for day. Check Facebook.

12:00 pm – Lunch at my desk. Nicely packed and healthy (or bought from the food truck) scarf it down before someone needs something. Pray no one looks in the window as you have dressing on your chin and crumbs on your shirt.

5:00 pm – Leave for home. Traffic. SO. MUCH. TRAFFIC.

5:45 pm – Arrive home/start dinner. (Except the exceptionally blessed, glorious days when husband makes dinner. These fall fairly frequently from January – July. Then football practice and hunting start. Forget getting a meal; wonder if you still have a husband.) If he’s cooking, make all sides, set table. He still gets credit.

5:48 pm – Handle tantrum from toddler that wants to help. No, only you, not Elmo. Didn’t we learn that in the whole Elmo loses a foot fiasco?

6:30 pm – Sit down to dinner. Pray. Take bites in between grabbing what I forgot from the fridge and coaxing toddler to “just try it.”

7:00 pm – Bath; tub crayons, boats, duckies, butterflies in nets. OR skip bath and do puzzles, read books, paint pictures. Hands down, best part of the day.

7:30 pm – Lay in Mama and Daddy’s bed. Watch Wizard of Oz from where we left off yesterday. Finally, 15 minutes of uninterrupted relaxing. Toddler in my face saying “Open you eyes Mama!”

7:45 pm – 8:00 pm – Toddler to bed. Ritual of prayers, kisses, 2 books, 1 song and “daddy hit the lights!”

8:05 pm – Make lunch for tomorrow. Clean up dishes, put out gym clothes, throw in a load of wash, pick up toys and pack the bags for tomorrow…..

8:45 pm – Sit down for time with husband. Debate what to watch on TV. Finally agree.

9:00 pm – Promptly fall asleep until bed time.

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Outdoor Family Fun – Herb Walk!

My kids and I are always on the go, searching for fun! Lately we have been enjoying scoping out the local plant life. Kids are naturally curious… about EVERYTHING! Learning to identify plants and their uses is a valuable skill, and makes a walk around the neighborhood or the local nature trails a little more interesting! It’s also a free activity that doesn’t require any prep or planning.

You can take it even further and use the opportunity to learn and teach the parts of the plants and flowers and even press samples of the plants to make a book. It’s also a good idea to teach kids to identify and avoid plants like poison ivy, and to never eat wild berries or other fruits from plants that you haven’t grown in your garden.

Please do not eat anything that you can’t identify with 100% surety, and never plants growing near roadsides or in areas that have been sprayed with pesticides. The Peterson series of field guides are excellent resources to have on hand! There are also amazing plant identification groups on Facebook, where you can post photos of the plant in question and folks will help identify for you.

 

Here are a few cool “weeds” that you’re likely to find growing

in and around your yard in the metro Detroit area!

Dandelion – They are bright, pretty, and surprisingly useful! The plants are edible, and the flower heads are a natural source of vitamin D and carotenoids (which the body uses to make vitamin A). The roots and leaves are rich in potassium, and a few leaves in a green smoothie or mixed in with salad greens give you a little extra nutrition oomph.  And every kid loves to rub the sunny blossoms under their chin, on their nose (or yours!), or back of the hand and add a little color!

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Dandelion

Red Clover – These pretty purple-ish flowers are edible as are their leaves. Historically, red clover leaves were used to help support the circulatory system.

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Red Clover

Plantain – This low key little weed is a good friend to know. A chewed up plantain leaf, applied as a poultice to a mosquito bite or other bug bite or sting can help soothe and relieve itching and pain.  

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Plantain (Broad Leaf variety)

Daisy Fleabane – This cute little flowering plant is thought to help keep fleas at bay.

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Daisy Fleabane

Yarrow – The feathery leaves of the yarrow plant have a styptic effect, helping to stop bleeding.

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Yarrow (look for the distinctive feathery leaves)

St. John’s Wort – This pretty yellow flower is well known for helping to support mental health, and may be helpful for mild cases of the blues.

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Saint John’s Wort (Hypericum)

Ox-Eye Daisy – Everyone loves these pretty, classic blooms – tuck one behind your ear!

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Ox -Eye Daisy

Chicory – A delicate blue flower is the signature of this roadside staple, the roots can be roasted and then tea brewed as a coffee substitute for those trying to kick the caffeine!

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Chicory

Mullein – Tall and graceful with beautiful yellow blooms, mullein has been used to help coughs and lung problems, as well as ear aches.

Bull Thistle – Those darn prickly weeds get really, really, big. They may be thorny, but her blooms are quite striking!

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Bull Thistle (Left) & Mullein (Right)

 

 

DMB Moms’ Tips – Going Back To Work!

After a long maternity leave with baby number two, I’m preparing to head back to work. This time, I’m heading into a new job with a new company. I’m excited to start working with an awesome new team, but thinking about having to navigate a new childcare arrangement, figure out a pumping spot, etc. all has me a bit frazzled. As I’ve been mentally preparing to return, I turned to some other contributors to hear more about their top tips for making the transition back to work a bit easier! Here’s what we think can make for a smoother return, both emotionally and logistically! 

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Go back on a half day, midweek, or both! Even as I start a new job,I haven’t had a problem arranging to start back in the middle of the week, and on a half day. With my first child,  I found that the first day was mostly about meeting with my manager, learning more about changes to the company in the last few months, and using our company Mother’s Room. I had the normal tears when leaving my son, but aside from that, found that I was really happy to be back to work part time. I was lucky enough to have a lot of mom friends at work, but even if you don’t, finding a network of other moms is one of the best things you can do to feel both supported and inspired. As long as you don’t make the same dumb mistake I did, and take someone else’s breast pump home (yes, I did that, and yes, I almost died when she called me), you’ll do great! – Erin

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1. I took a little baby cap in my purse to smell the baby smell. I know that’s weird 😉
2. If you can, leave the baby with a trusted family member the first couple of days. It eases the transition before leaving them with people you may not know at daycare. Plus you can call and check in without guilt!
3. Pictures and videos on your smart phone. The more the better.
4. Pep talks with your co-workers or other mom friends throughout the day help! They understand what you are going through.                        -Kimberly

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Talk to your boss about adjusting your schedule to better meet your needs, I was able to go back to 3 10- hour days in the office and 2 5-hour days working from home for the first few months. No one in my company had ever done that, but I’m glad I asked! -Jessica

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If you are breastfeeding and planning on pumping at work purchase extra pumping supplies so you don’t have to stress about cleaning them every night. I also had two pumps and left one at my desk so I didn’t need to haul it back and forth daily Or worry about forgetting it. -Danielle

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It helped me to practice my morning routine at least a week out. That way I wasn’t running around my first day back like a crazy person. – Rebecca

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Invest in a hands free pumping bra (if pumping). Look into whether your employer will allow for a transitional period before you go back full time (I’m working 3 days a week for a little over a month before I have to be back full time, this has been a great transitional time for both my baby and me). I also took advantage of a visit day at her day care and sent her for 4 hours a day before she was to actually start. I did errands and actually went in to the office to check emails and preempt my first day back jitters. It really helped because the next morning it didn’t feel as new and scary. – Sarah

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I can definitely agree with a lot of what the other moms said, especially bringing pictures, and also keeping extra pumping parts if you’re breastfeeding (the day you forget to bring a second shield will be your last, because you’ll never make that mistake again!).

The last thing I’d add is BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF! If the first day goes great – excellent! If not, it will probably get better. Being honest with yourself and your work about your capacity and goals will help you avoid burnout and added stress in those early days. If you’re heading back to work – good luck, and feel free to share your own tips in the comments!

 

Capturing those Kodak Moments and Photography Tips for you Mama!

Can you imagine going back to using Kodak Film and only having a roll of 24 pictures to take!?! I remember taking my film in and ordering doubles so I could give some away.    Today I just share my pictures on Google Plus or Facebook.  I can also take unlimited shots of my little ones and pick my favorite one to share instantly. Times have changed.  It is definitely a digital world!  

I am constantly taking pictures  of my sweet babies. Oh look at how cute Little Miss looks sleeping, I better get a picture! The other day my son was painting and I had taken WAY too many photos of basically the same thing…him with paint all over. But why not!?! Its not like I need to worry about film.  

We also have tons of resources when it comes to photography. While One Hour Photography is still a fast and easy way to print, we can also order through Shutterfly and Tiny Prints and have it delivered right to our front door. I love making photo books. Its my digital way of scrap booking.

Recently we hired Katie Grana to do newborn photos for our baby girl. She does an amazing job!  While we take tons of photos on a daily basis, it is nice to hire someone to take pictures of the entire family.  After our session, I started drilling her with questions on how to take decent photos at home.  After all, it is up to us to capture those raw daily moments.  I decided to ask her if I could interview her for Detroit Moms Blog so other moms can benefit from her great tips.  I know how important it is for all of us to capture those adorable smiles and priceless moments.  Here is what she had to say.  

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Photography by Katie Grana

Summers in Metro Detroit provide many outdoor photo opportunities.  We know from your work that you love outdoor photography.  What are your favorite places to take photos?  

I love using natural lighting to illuminate my subjects and outdoor photography is the best way to do that.  My favorite outdoor places are local state and city parks.  I’ve found that most local parks are great places for outdoor photography because they offer lots of different backgrounds without having to travel too far. They also make for a great location because you can turn a photo session into a fun family outing.    

I want to take monthly photos of my little one to capture her growth.  How can I create a professional looking setting at home? I want to avoid those awkward photos where my child looks over sized and the photo looks very unnatural. 

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Photography by Katie Grana

It’s all about the angle and the lighting!  Try to get down to your child’s level before taking the shot, if you stand tall and shoot down on your child that position can often look distorted.  That said, playing with different angles can also give you some cool different perspectives.  So I say get that shot at their level but then play around with different angles as well and see what comes of it!  You might surprise yourself!  Also consider the lighting in your home.  Look for rooms with lots of natural light from windows.  If your camera allows, turn off the indoor lights because they often cast yellow shadows on faces.  Try to turn your child towards the window so the light falls on them.  

I never know how to dress my family for a photo session.  What colors or patterns do you find work best or should be avoided?

As far as dressing for photo sessions, I always want my clients to represent who they are!  I have some clients who are very vibrant people and love color and I have clients who like to keep a more natural palette.  You should wear what you feel comfortable in and what makes you feel best!  If you are trying to coordinate outfits I always tell my clients to stay away from loud patterns and prints and choose a color palette you like and then make sure your outfits all coordinate.   

I’m definitely no professional but sometimes I capture some amazing pictures of my little ones. Do you have any suggestions on free editing software to use?  

I know GIMP is a free software that is most similar to Adobe Photoshop.  It has a packed toolbox offering the clone tool, healing tool and much more!  The interface is a bit complex, so I suggest starting with simple effects such as changing exposure and contrast.  If you are looking for something a bit simpler Picasa allows you to apply different pre-made image effects to your pictures with one simple click.  

Once I’m done editing my pictures, I would like to have prints made.  Can you suggest a good online source for printing?  

I regularly use and recommend Mpix.com.  They deliver a wonderful quality print that is very affordable

Any suggestions on a good camera and lens to invest in? My iPhone is great for uploading to Facebook but not those monthly shots I’d like to shoot.

I think any entry level DSLR camera body that either Canon or Nikon offers is a great start! A few options are the Nikon d5200,d3200 or the Canon T4i or T3i.  They attach some pretty great kit lenses these days too.  But if you are looking to step up your game I highly suggest the 35mm / f1.4 or 50mm / f 1.8 lens.  These lenses produce amazing images with top notch bokeh (blur).  They also do very well in low light and are rather affordable high-quality options.

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Photography by Katie Grana

Any other tips for us mamma’s out there trying to capture our children’s childhood through photography?

Enjoy taking pictures of your little ones and have fun with it!  Don’t stress about getting that technically perfect shot or a shot where everyone is looking and smiling at the camera.  My favorite shots are often ones that capture those candid moments you don’t want to forget where your kids are just being themselves. Lastly, don’t forget that you, mama, need to be in some of those pictures too!  

Making “Mom Friends”

I feel like I’m in college all over again.

If you went away to a school where you didn’t know a single soul, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about here.  That feeling of making new friends that is beyond nerve-racking. 

I’m 32, college is just a few years behind me (ha), and I have a husband and an almost-one-and-a-half-year-old daughter now.  Oh yeah, and I have a ton of incredibly wonderful friends.

But at this point in my life, it’s time to make … MOM FRIENDS.

at this point in my life, it's time to make mom friends shannon murphy
 
And new moms: It’s a scary world out there. 
 

As I start slowly putting Lucy into activities with other toddlers, I’m putting myself into situations where I don’t know a lot of the women who are also doing the same thing.  Mind you, I have several friends and two sisters-in-law with kids, so I definitely already have a group of women in my life with whom I can share parenting experiences.  But I’m finding that making NEW friends, mommy friends, is becoming a part of my weekly routine.  And it’s really tough!

Lucy is in a swim class at Goldfish Swim School.  She’s been there since she was 4-months-old, and she’s obsessed with the water now, which is amazing.  There are about five other moms in the class as well, and every week I’m faced with the same anxieties running through my head:

Do they like me? 

Are my boobs fully-covered in my swimsuit? (Don’t laugh. One time they made an appearance accidentally. Mortifying.)

Please Lord don’t let Lucy bite someone else’s kid. 

Oh, my daughter splashed you and now your hair is soaking wet even though I know you wanted to keep it dry because you have plans after this?  Eeek. So sorry!

Should I ask them out to lunch to talk about … mommy stuff?  What if they say no?  I’ll feel ridiculous! 

I know I should just put on my big-girl pants and start an actual conversation with these women.  They’re all probably thinking the same things.  I’ve actually struck up a friendship with one of them recently, and we’re getting together next weekend.  I’m pretty excited about it. And all it took was a little courage to just … be myself.  Wow, imagine that! 

Another great example: My husband, Andrew, recently got together with his collegiate lacrosse teammates to play a few games for a big tournament.  He was having a field day catching up with old friends.  I, on the other hand, was hyperventilating trying to figure out how to fit in with all of the players’ wives.  They all had kids Lucy’s age running around, so it was a natural segway into striking up a convo with these women.  But I froze, and started second-guessing every word that came out of my mouth, and every move that I made. I did this to the point where I contemplated paying one mom a compliment on her hair because I didn’t want to make it seem like I was trying too hard. 

IT’S SO SILLY!

Why do we do this to ourselves?  I’m laughing about it as I’m writing it. 

My point: If you see another mom, especially a new/ newer mom, looking a little desperate for a “mom friend,” just say “hi.”  It could be the beginning of a lifelong friendship : )
 
 

Bring a Mom a Meal – 5 Tips to Help a New Mom

This March I had my first baby. I was living far from all of my family, in Missouri where my husband was going to medical school. Luckily I was involved in a Student Advocate Association. The club advocated not only for the students but the partners who were, like me, stuck in a rural town away from everything ‘normal.’ The long hours of classes and studying meant that my husband wasn’t able to help as much as he would have liked, but the amazing group I was a part of stepped up to the plate and made sure that I was supported.  I learned the great impact that a small gesture, like bringing a new mom a meal, can have.

Here are a few gifts of food that made a big difference in those first weeks of motherhood:

Multitasking
Multitasking

Tip 1: A lot of people immediately think of bringing a new mom a casserole. My Nana’s go-to recipe is either called “death and disaster casserole” or “joy and celebration” depending on the occasion.  Slow cooker meals are another great option for a meal in one dish. Pre-measure the ingredients in a freezer bag and write directions with sharpie on the bag (as simple as high/low for how many hours) for a simple hot meal.

Tip 2 : If the new mom is a foodie like me, she will light up at the sight of some soft cheese, wine, iced coffee or any other foods she was abstaining from for the past 9 months.

Tip 3 : Fresh and ready-made food can be easier for you and for the recipient. While a hearty stick-to-your-bones dish is welcome for a nursing mom, sometimes something to clean the palate is a welcome change. Think about fresh ready-to-eat staples like muffins or scones, pre-cut fruit, or veggies and a pack of hummus, sliced cheese and lunch meat, or all-in-one bagged salad with croutons and dressing.

Tip 4 : Remember the deep pangs of hunger during those late night feedings? Snacks are just as helpful as a full meal. My favorite was chocolate chip Teddy Grahams. 

Tip 5 : Think of nutrient rich foods (especially iron, calcium, vitamin D and folic acid) but don’t forget dessert!  
Other tips:

Pack the food in disposable containers so yours don’t get lost and mom doesn’t need to worry about getting it back to you. This could be leftover containers from lunch meat or tomato sauce all cleaned out and filled with meal fixin’s or a disposable aluminum pan. These days you can even purchase a pan with a clear plastic lid which will help the new parents to identify what is available in their fridge.

Websites that help organize– prevent doubling up on the same casserole, timing may mean that you bring the meal 2 weeks later, when parents or in-laws have left.

I was gifted the cook book, “Parents need to eat too,” by Debbie Koenig. It has great ideas for one-hand meals, nap-friendly cooking (where recipes are split up into small chunks that can be completed throughout the day), recipes for Work at Home Moms, recipes to support breastfeeding, and more.

My well worn copy
My well worn copy

Of course, you will want to take into consideration the family’s particular food allergies or religious exemptions of certain foods. This is easier than ever with websites that help you to organize with other meal-givers. The new parent can share the link on their Facebook page or with anyone who shows interest. Special features allow the parent to indicate what dates they could use a meal and what time would be good for drop-off.

Have you used a site like takethemameal.com ? What worked well for you as a meal giver or receiver?

The ‘Week of Glory’

A few years ago, shortly after I met my friend Jen McGuire, she mentioned something about her “Week of Glory” (WOG) which turned out to be a kid-free week at home.  Over the next week I watched as she updated her Facebook status with before and after shots of some pretty major accomplishments in her home – the kinds of things I could just never seem to get done after having kids.

Steam Cleaned carpets
Steam Cleaned carpets

The next year, around the same time, posts came about another WOG with even more amazing results complete with photographic evidence.  She was taking care of things around the house that had been on my to-do list for literally years that I just could not find the time needed to attack them, at least not since my oldest was about 18-months old (4 1/2 years ago!). 

I do remember thinking when my husband and I made the decision that I would stay home with our daughter full time that one advantage would be all the projects around the house that I could finally complete.  After all, she would be napping 2-3 hours a day right?  Look at all that free time I would have!  Well, as any mom knows, what little kid-free time there is in a day whether it be during an afternoon nap or after bedtime, is quickly sucked up by the daily chores and upkeep tasks that have the highest priority.  There is rarely extra time for me to do much of anything else after dishes, laundry, picking up and meal planning.  In fact I’m lucky to get all of the essentials taken care of before I just mentally, and physically, check out.

 

Perfectly organized closets
Perfectly organized closets

 

This year when Jen hinted her WOG was around the corner, I realized the value of extended kid-free time more than ever.  In fact, I was pretty jealous that I didn’t have more than a few kid free hours in a row.  The truth is, I thought that leaving my kids for an extended period of time when I didn’t have to felt a little selfish, but I was starting to see that it was actually somewhat the opposite.  Jen has a 4-year old and 3-year old twins, she told me that in sending her oldest to one grandparents house and the twins to the other grandparents for a week it actually gives the kids some valuable time apart and her older son gets some ‘only child’ time again.  She also plans her WOG around her husbands vacation time every year so that they have plenty of quality time at home together while knocking out their to-do list of major projects.

Around the same time as Jen’s WOG this year, we were all up north at my parents cottage.  My husband had to come back home for a work meeting and the original idea was for me and the kids to stay at the cottage with my parents and he would go home to work for a few days and come back up for Fourth of July.  I had a little light bulb moment and only hesitated briefly before seizing the opportunity, after clearing it with my parents I decided to go home with my husband and leave my kids up north with Grandma and Grandpa!  I knew my kids would be a lot for them to manage – a 2-year old on a lake is pretty constant anxiety (and full disclosure, my husband and I are going out of town for a week without kids in August so I didn’t want to push it too much!), so my husband agreed to only going home for 2 full days but now, having done it, I have every intention on working my way up to a full week in the future. 

 

Office BEFORE
Office BEFORE

 

Jen's office after
Office after

 

I have to tell you – It. Was. Wonderful! And not just the ‘checking-things-off-the-to-do-list’ way.  My husband and I went to dinner and actually talked to each other, without interruption.  I slept in a little and went to the grocery store alone.  Sure, any of those things could happen at any other time depending on our schedules and date nights, but when they all accumulate in a 48 hour period in addition to steam cleaning carpets, organizing kids outgrown and next season clothes and about 10 loads of laundry it is amazing.  I actually feel like I got something major accomplished for the first time in a very long time.  And rather than feeling ‘wiped out’, I actually felt energized from completing my projects.  The break from the daily grind (that yes, still follows us when we go places like Up North) was so worth it!  Of course our kids had a great time apart from us but we were all happy to be reunited. 

I encourage all parents out there to consider installing a Week of Glory, or even just a Few Days of Glory, at least to start.  I don’t think many people consider a vacation of staying home alone but it is totally worth it and can be just as restorative as a spa visit (and much less expensive!). Even if you don’t have grandparents or relatives close by for your kids to stay with, it would even work with some carefully coordinated overnights at friends houses or exchanges with friends who want to experience a Few Days of Glory themselves.  Once you become a parent little breaks like this do tend to feel selfish, but in reality taking time for yourself can only make things better for everyone in the long run.

 

jen to do list

Photos courtesy Jennifer McGuire

 

Time to Make Mom a Priority

“I am in charge of how I feel and today I am choosing happiness.”

 

I know what you’re thinking: you’ve already put in a full day at the office, made dinner for your family, and you still have an hour’s worth of work to finish before heading to bed. You don’t even have the energy to think about going to the gym. I don’t blame you. Being a mom is a full time job on top of the one that pays the bills. But did you know that taking just one hour to workout will take up less than 4 percent of your day?

Too often women/moms/wives put others before themselves. Why? Why should everyone else’s happiness rank more important than ours?

 

Well, I’m here to say it… it’s time to make MOM priority NUMBER ONE.

 

legally-blonde-memeIt’s not selfish to reward our body and mind with one hour completely dedicated to improving our self worth. That hour, though it may be away from the home, will undoubtedly give back to your family in ways you may not have thought were even connected. Remember that scene in Legally Blonde:”Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands, they just don’t.” While your life is probably not that dramatic; I’m sure if you’re like me, you’ve snapped because the dishes weren’t put away when you got home or the laundry wasn’t folded. Could that hour at your barre class have made the situation better? Surround yourself with other happy, positive people that can help you achieve your personal goals and make you an even greater asset to your family. 

 

If you’re thinking that you don’t have an hour a day to dedicate to a gym or fitness studio, there are certainly things you can do at home to improve your well-being. Take 10 minutes of deep stretching or meditation before getting into bed for the night. Allow your mind to clear and let go of anything that no longer serves you. You’ll never know how this repetition can positively influence your sense of self unless you start trying. 

 

nrm_1406054457-ep_18_bed_yoga_turbo_tara_clean_0025306

 

In addition to giving yourself one hour of “me” time, start setting (realistic) goals for things you’d like to accomplish in the coming days, weeks, months or maybe even this year. Goal setting allows us to hold ourselves accountable for what we want in our lives. I’ve found that when I state my intentions and give myself a respectable time-frame, I’m able to appreciate the hard work I put into mine and my family’s lives. 

Most importantly, don’t forget to thank your body for everything it has accomplished (including the fact that you brought life into this world!). The 4 percent of the day that you’ve dedicated to yourself will help lay the foundation for your family’s needs tomorrow and your mind will be prepared to take on whatever life throws at you. Besides, the work will still be there when you wake up in the morning.

 

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