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Tonsillectomy Tales: From an ENT Referral to Surgery + Recovery

Disclaimer: The following post outlines the writer’s family’s personal journey with a tonsillectomy. It is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about your health.

Late last year, I was concerned about my seven-year-old daughter’s bad breath and snoring. She was religiously flossing, brushing her teeth, and using children’s mouthwash, and we were still noticing that her breath was unpleasant. She was becoming self-conscious about it, so I asked our dentist. This prompted our dentist to give us a referral to a pediatric ear, nose, and throat specialist.

Our appointment was pretty basic. The doctor was very patient with my daughter, who was nervous about going. He looked in her mouth and at her tonsils. Then he examined her ears and asked us basic questions about her health history and daily habits. He asked a lot of questions about her activity level and her sleeping. Then he graded her tonsils. We were told her tonsils were a 3 on a 4-point scale. This meant they were enlarged, but not touching. They definitely could be causing her some trouble. 

The doctor told us this could be the cause of her snoring and bad breath. He said her tonsils were cryptic, meaning that they had folds or holes that could cause food and bacteria to get stuck and grow. This can produce an unpleasant smell causing bad breath. After hearing this news, we made the decision to have the tonsils removed. 

With everything I do, I do a lot of research. This is also the case when it comes to my family’s health.

I read a lot about tonsillectomies, recovery, and the pros and cons of having the surgery. I talked to a lot of parents whose children had the surgery and their experiences were vastly different. Overall, most parents said they would have the surgery again because the benefits outweighed the negatives.

My daughter was anxious about having surgery, as most kids (and adults) would be. I did my best to make sure she was feeling at ease as the procedure got closer. I answered questions the best I could using kid-friendly language. Our focus was on how much better she would feel once her tonsils were removed.

The weekend before her surgery, we went to the grocery store and stocked up on all the after-surgery things we thought she might like: popsicles, mashed potatoes, soup, and all other soft foods. We were told to avoid ice cream because dairy can create mucus, which can impede the healing process and irritate the throat. We also got her some new pajamas, a new book, and some quiet activities she could do while she was recovering.

On the day of the tonsillectomy surgery, she was scheduled early.

Our surgery center encouraged us to bring her in her pajamas. They also told us to bring a favorite stuffed animal for her to cuddle with after surgery. They also warned us that she might be scared and unpleasant upon waking up from surgery; every kid responds to anesthesia differently, so it’s hard to know what to expect. 

When we were called back, they allowed both myself and her dad to go back in the pre-op room to sit with her until it was her turn. At this time, our doctor and anesthesiologist came back and went over the procedure and any other concerns we had. 

Finally, it was our turn to head to the operating room.

Our surgery center allowed one of us to go back with her into the operating room. After talking to other parents, I have found that this isn’t the case everywhere. Some places allow it, some don’t. I had to put on a hospital gown and a surgical cap to go back with her but I think it made her more at ease heading into the operating room with me.

Once we got into the operating room, she laid on the table, they had her count backwards, and they put on the mask to give her the anesthetic. Before I knew it, she was out and I left to go to the waiting room. The procedure took about a half hour. We could monitor her progress on a board so we knew when she was out of surgery. By the time we got back to the recovery room, about an hour and a half had passed.

When she woke up, she was very scared and very sleepy.

She was crying and just wanted to be held. After a few minutes, she drank a little bit of water and tried to eat a popsicle. After about another half hour, they gave us the go-ahead to head home. All in all, we were at the surgery center for about three hours. 

Once we got home, all she wanted to do was lay around. She eventually fell back asleep and slept for a few hours. When she woke up, it was time for her to take her medicine. For the rest of the day, she watched TV, ate very little, drank a little bit of fluids, and was pretty comfortable. 

Over the next few days she was feeling pretty yucky but it was manageable. We thought we were out of the woods and she was on the mend, but day five hit and she was in a terrible amount of pain. After talking to our doctor and other parents, it seems that days 5-8 are the worst because the incision is healing. We found if we stayed on top of her medication and dosed it per doctor’s orders, she was much more comfortable. If we missed a dose or if she was late taking it, she was in pain. 

While it took nearly two weeks before we were back to normal, I am glad we went through with the surgery.

My daughter is sleeping better, which I think is impacting her behaviorally. She is more focused and her demeanor is more pleasant, which I think is because of better sleep. As we head into “sick season” with the weather changing and being back in school, I am hopeful we will see fewer illnesses running through our house, such as strep throat–these illnesses tend to decrease if children get their tonsils removed. Only time will tell!

Motherhood is all about trusting our instincts. China is sharing about her daughter’s journey to a sleep apnea diagnosis.

Detroit Mom’s Local Love Spotlight: Avalon Village

Detroit Mom’s Local Love series highlights local women and the businesses they have built. We love supporting small business! Today’s Local Love Spotlight belongs to Mama Shu, owner of Avalon Village.

To start, we asked Mama Shu to share a few fun facts about herself with us.

  • She can manifest her desires because she is focused, committed, and disciplined.
  • She can create catchy names and slogans for businesses and events with ease.
  • Her thinking is broad but she is able to work on the nuances of things and make it whole.

We asked her to share a little bit more about her business with us, too. Get to know Mama Shu and her business, Avalon Village, below!

How did you come up with the idea of your business, and how did you start?

“I live in a broken neighborhood and I wanted to help restore and revive where I live to make things better. I bought my first property for Avalon Village in 2009 and made that our “headquarters.” From that space we provided services [and] programs and held events for the community.”

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting out?

“No. I am organically and spiritually guided. I am exactly where I am supposed to be.”

What is the best business advice you’ve ever been given?

“Stay consistent.”

Have you faced adversity in business due to being a woman? How did you navigate that?

“Yes. Being a mother specifically. I have had three of my children killed. Being brokenhearted, forever, has its wear and tear, emotionally, however through the pain I have managed to transfer that pain into power as much as I can. Also, being a “lady” Land Developer has its ups and downs too as it has been a male dominated field for so long. 😅

How do you persevere in challenging times?

“First, I slow down to look at what the challenge is. If it’s something I can do or fix at that present moment, I’ll work on it. If not, I’ll wait until the right timing to deal with it. I don’t force anything.”

What impact do you want your business to have?

“I want people to know that they can transform their community just as we did at Avalon Village. I want them to know and believe that everyone deserves a clean, safe, and prosperous environment to live, play, work, and grow in.”

What are the pros and cons of being a woman business owner in 2024?

“I am a Land Developer. This field is male dominated for the most part. I feel that sometimes men think that we don’t know our stuff and they take us lightly or even are a little jealous. 🤷🏾‍♀️

What knowledge would you share with someone who wants to become an entrepreneur?

“Be consistent, stay focused, and don’t worry about the money. It will come if you do the first two things.”

What do you do for personal and professional development?

“I join boards and attend workshops and learning sessions that enhance my goals.”

What mantra or quote do you live by?

“Have no fear.”

What’s your favorite place in Detroit or Michigan?

“Avalon Village.”

Where can our readers find you on social media?

You can follow Avalon Village on Facebook, Instagram, and on their website!

We hope you loved getting to know more about Mama Shu + Avalon Village. Be sure to check out our previous Local Love Spotlight featuring Katie Jones + The Jonesy Co., Michigan With Kids, and Lansing Mom!

I’m A Therapist Mom With My Own Therapist

October can be an exciting month full of cider mills, Halloween costumes, homecoming, and falling leaves. In October we also celebrate World Mental Health Day (on October 10), a day dedicated to raising awareness of what mental health truly is and how we can stay mentally and emotionally healthy. One of the best ways to prioritize your mental health is to work with a licensed therapist. There are so many reasons why therapy can help; in fact, your therapist may very well have a therapist of their own! 

Therapy is not only a valuable tool during a crisis–a therapist can support you through it all. Mental health IS health. Just like we go to our primary care doctors, dentists, gynecologists, and other specialists, we can continue to have mental health check-ups with a licensed mental health provider.

I became a therapist in part because I had seen firsthand the impact therapy can make on someone’s well-being through my therapy sessions. 

Is therapy really for me?

There are many reasons why therapy can help you or a loved one. One of the main roles of therapists is to treat those with mental illnesses ranging from the more common disorders (such as anxiety and depression) to rare diagnoses (such as schizophrenia). However, this is not the only area in which therapists help to support their communities.

Many people without mental health disorder diagnoses also benefit from engaging in therapy. Some therapists specialize in times of transition or family strain. Other therapists specialize in grief counseling. An area of growth in therapy are those who have specialized training to support those with neurodevelopmental disorders such as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or Autism. 

No matter your age or what life phase you are currently in, therapy can support you through challenging times. We currently live in a stressful world, still recovering from a global pandemic, increased discrimination, and division. Therefore, we all may benefit from someone trained in listening. 

How long does therapy last?

Some clients will work with therapists for many years, while others have a specific short-term goal and discontinue therapy after a few months. How long a person needs to commit to traditional therapy is dependent on each individual’s needs. 

On the other hand, many therapists specialize in short-term therapeutic approaches and therefore can give you a clearer expectation of how many sessions will be recommended. Even a handful of therapy sessions can help you during a tough time. 

Why do I prioritize regular therapy sessions?

There’s quite a few reasons why I, a therapist mom, prioritize regular therapy sessions with my own therapist:

  • To support me during big life changes.
  • To keep fresh tools in my repertoire for when my anxiety gets loud!
  • To support me as a parent whether I just need to vent, need a fresh perspective and advice, or need expertise on emotional challenges my children are going through. (Yes, I’m a therapist who has worked with kids/teens, and I still NEED support. I can’t always “see” what is right in front of my face with my own children, I’m simply too close to the situation.)
  • To help me strategize when I feel like my ADHD deficits are getting in the way of me meeting a goal. And . . . to celebrate when one of my ADHD strengths helps me conquer a goal! 
  • To help me recognize when I am using negative self-talk. Sometimes my anxious brain can be a bully and I may be stuck in a cycle of “catastrophizing” a situation by thinking the absolute worst could happen.
  • Therapy is the ultimate “me time!” Therapy is my time. I can talk as much as I want to without having to worry that I am monopolizing the conversation. And if I’m not feeling talkative, I know that my therapist will take the reins and ask me the right questions or even have a new skill ready to teach me. 
  • I go because I know therapy can help!

Did I pique your interest? It’s so important to prioritize mental health and time with a therapist.

Looking for personally-recommended + local mental health professionals? Check out our Detroit Mom-Approved Guide to Therapists.

Where to Find Pumpkins In + Around Detroit

*last updated 9/16/2024

Nothing says fall and Halloween quite like pumpkins. Whether you’re carving with the kids, decorating your front porch, or looking to cook something delicious with them, pumpkins are an absolute must this season. We know you’re planning out your weekends, and if you’re wondering where to find pumpkins in and around Detroit, we have you covered!

We found as many fun places to get pumpkins as we could, and we made sure they are all open this season. From u-pick farms with activities galore, to closer-to-home stands with great variety, you’re sure to find a fun pumpkin activity at one of these local gems.

Our list is organized in alphabetical order, based on county. Be sure to call ahead or click the links provided to explore what they are offering and hours of operation. Happy pumpkin-ing!

Genesee County Pumpkins

Flushing Farms | Flushing

Montrose Orchards | Montrose

Porter’s Orchard | Goodrich

Starrs Lakeview Farms | Linden

Thread Creek Farm | Grand Blanc

Livingston County Pumpkins

Chambers Family Farm | Pinckney

Fawcett Farms | Howell

Munsell Farms | Fowlerville

Schell Family Farm | Pinckney

Macomb County Pumpkins

Blake Farms | Almont, Armada, + South Lyon

Stony Creek Orchard and Cider Mill | Romeo

Verellen Orchards | Washington

Westview Orchards | Washington

Monroe County Pumpkins

Gust Brother’s Pumpkin Farm | Ottawa Lake

Harnica Kids’ Pumpkin Farm | Dundee

Kackleberry Farms | Monroe

Trabbic Family Pumpkin Farm | Erie

Oakland County Pumpkins

Bonadeo Farms | Highland Township

Cook’s Farm Dairy | Ortonville

Diehl’s Orchard & Cider Mill | Holly

Long Family Orchard & Farm | Commerce

Mitchell Farm | Holly

St. Clair County Pumpkins

Corn Fun | Casco *weekends in October

Washtenaw County Pumpkins

Coleman’s Farm Market | Ypsilanti

Lesser Farm and Orchards | Dexter

Nixon Farms | Dexter

Slow Farm | Ann Arbor

Wasem Fruit Farm | Milan

Wiard’s Cider Mill and Apple Orchard | Ypsilanti

Wing Farms | Ann Arbor

Wayne County Pumpkins

Bird’s Big Pumpkins | Romulus

DeBuck’s Family Farm | Belleville

Kurtzhals’ Farm | Romulus

Three Cedars Farm | Northville

Did we miss any great places to find pumpkins in and around Detroit? Be sure to let us know and we will add it to our list. Many of the above options are also cider mills. Where will you be heading this fall?

*This post was originally written by Jessica Lukenbill, and was updated by Dana Abraham in 2024.

My Precious Child, There Is Beauty In Being Highly Sensitive

My precious child,

When I first discovered I was a highly sensitive person, I didn’t quite understand what it meant. At first, it felt like a burden–a label that came with overwhelming emotions and a sense of being “too much” for the world. But with time, I realized that being highly sensitive is not a flaw; it’s a profound gift. It’s a part of who we are, a lens through which we experience the world more deeply, more vividly, and more empathetically.

If I could go back in time, I would tell my younger self this: Your sensitivity is your superpower. Being a highly sensitive child allows you to feel the depth of joy and love with an intensity that others may never know. Your heightened awareness of the world’s beauty, the subtle shifts in energy, and the unspoken emotions around you are what make you unique. These qualities are not something to be ashamed of or hidden away. They are your strength.

To my highly sensitive child, know that your sensitivity is a beautiful part of you.

It might feel like a heavy weight at times–when the world seems too loud, too chaotic, or too harsh. But it is also a source of incredible power. You are more attuned to the needs of others, more compassionate, and more deeply connected to the world around you. Never let anyone convince you that being sensitive is a weakness. It is your unique gift to the world.

There will be moments when this sensitivity feels like a burden. You might feel overwhelmed by the weight of the emotions you carry. That’s okay. Feel it all. Let yourself experience the fullness of your emotions because it is through this process that you will find your true self. Remember, it’s okay to take a step back when the world feels too much–to retreat, to rest, to recharge. Your worth is not determined by how much you do or how much you can handle; it’s in who you are.

As you navigate this journey, you may encounter people who do not understand your sensitivity.

They might say you are “too emotional” or “too sensitive,” but those words are not a reflection of you–they are a reflection of their own discomfort with emotions. Stand firm in your truth and know that there is nothing wrong with you. In fact, there is something beautifully right about you.

I promise you, there will be people who love you for exactly who you are, who see the beauty in your tears and the strength in your softness. And I will always be one of those people. You are not too much; you are perfect as you are.

My beautiful child, I hope you embrace your sensitivity.

Being a highly sensitive child is what makes you empathetic, intuitive, and profoundly connected to the world. Know that being sensitive is not just about feeling more–it’s about feeling deeply, loving wholeheartedly, and living authentically. You are allowed to take up space in this world as you are, without apology.

The world needs people like us–people who feel deeply, who care immensely, and who bring light to the darkness. So, go out there with your sensitive heart and be proud of who you are. You are more than enough just as you are, and your sensitivity is a blessing in a world that could be so harsh.

With love and compassion,

Mom

We can empower our children in so many different ways. Albiona shares how to navigate your child’s fears and help them to feel brave.

October is Blindness Awareness Month

Did you know that an estimated 2.2 billion people around the world suffer from some sort of vison impairment or blindness? My daughter is one out of the many 2.2 billion people in this world that has been diagnosed with a vision impairment. She has a vision impairment called Stargardt disease.

Stargardt disease is an inherited form of macular degeneration causing central vision loss. The progression of her vision could either stay where it is, or gradually get to the point where she could go blind.

My daughter was diagnosed when she was 10 years old. However, leading up to her diagnosis was such a long, frustrating road.

I took my daughter to get a physical when she was six years old for cheerleading.

She failed her eye exam and we were told to make an appointment with the eye doctor. At the appointment with the eye doctor, we were told that her eyes measured perfectly, that she was so young, and maybe she was just having a hard time reading the alphabet since she was just in kindergarten. So, we left.

A year went by and it was time for another physical. Another failed eye exam, so we were back to square one at the eye doctor again. Now mind you, my daughter was young. She loved dressing up, she loved fashionable things, and a lot of her friends had glasses. So, she did express a few times that she wanted to have glasses, too.

While at this appointment, I remember my daughter dragging out absolutely everything during her eye exam. She would say things like, “I think that is a lower case E,” or, ” I think that is a big I.” She did this with EVERY letter unless it was one of the extra big letters. At that point, the doctor looked at me and said, “Is there a chance your daughter could be lying because she just wants glasses?”

I remember telling her that she did express wanting glasses so she could be lying, but I just wasn’t sure, but maybe the doctor was right because she once again told me that my daughter’s eyes were measuring perfectly. She ended up prescribing her a very low prescription pair of glasses in the hopes that maybe my daughter would stop “lying.”

Leaving that appointment, I remember feeling really frustrated. I even continuously asked my daughter why she was lying. I begged her to tell me the truth. She kept telling me, “Mommy, I’m not lying, I really couldn’t see.”

Looking back now, I wish I wouldn’t have been so frustrated with her.

However, I didn’t know. I was being told by doctors that my daughter’s eyes measured perfectly and she shouldn’t be having any issues. Later on that year, my daughter’s teacher addressed my daughter’s vision and informed me that she was having a hard time seeing the board, and kids were now making comments to my daughter. We yet again went back to the doctor and once again, her eyes measured perfectly.

Throughout the next couple of years I was told that her eyes measured perfectly, and maybe she has anxiety and gets nervous when she does eye exams, so that was why she jumbled the letters. I was told to take my daughter to get an MRI and EEG to see another specialist. Everything I was being told to do, I did. I was pretty much being told that at this point this wasn’t a vision issue, this was a her issue, and there must be something else going on.

Finally when my daughter was 10, we went in for yet another appointment.

The second the doctor walked in, I expressed my frustration. I told him my daughter cannot see, she cannot see the board, her phone is up to her face, her books are up to her face, and children are now making comments about her vision. Not to mention,
she was getting headaches and everything was blurry.

The doctor did his eye exam and again her eyes measured perfectly. I left there just feeling defeated. What was I supposed to do now?! A half hour later, I got a phone call from the eye doctor asking if I could bring my daughter back in for further testing.

Finally after four or five years, we had answers! My daughter was being diagnosed with Stargardts and we began to get our retinal specialist appointments in order. I went into the retinal specialist appointment with very little knowledge of Stargardts. All I had read on google was that my daughter could go blind. That was enough for me to read.

At the specialist they did some testing, and it was confirmed my daughter did in fact have Stargardts.

At that time, there wasn’t really anything that could be done other than monitoring her progression. I left that appointment relieved that we finally had an answer, yet insanely sad and just worried. In the back of my mind all I kept thinking was, “My daughter could go blind.” I wasn’t thinking of anything else.

Since my daughter’s diagnosis, we have come to the realization that these are the cards that we have been dealt. So, it is up to us how we play these cards. This past year my daughter became the youth chair for the Foundation Fighting Blindness, and I am the Vice President of Foundation Fighting Blindness Michigan’s East Chapter. Our main goal is to provide access and local resources to help those fighting a blinding retinal disease. We also fight and raise money to end blinding diseases.

Additionally, we participate in the vision walk and host multiple speaker series and webinars throughout the year, as well as different fundraising events. We decided to be a voice for Stargardts and our main goal is to help at least one person. I would never want a mother, or father, or anyone for that matter, to have to go through the struggle we had to go through just to get a diagnosis.

Our school district was and has been absolutely amazing with providing her with tools and resources, and just help in general.

My daughter does have an IEP. She also has a magnetic key for her locker at school (I wish I had one in high school). Her teachers prepare all of her assignments on enlarged sheets. She can utilize a tablet, magnifiers, and even a CTV to see the board. The use of laptops and technology throughout schools now has been really helpful as well. There is an endless amount of tools that are available for anyone with a vision impairment.

We have been so blessed with such a wonderful community providing so much support and willingness to educate and be on this journey with us. October is Blindness Awareness Month. Please celebrate this month and help us fight for a cure.

Awareness is so important! Read how Antonette is bringing awareness to Filipino American History Month.

Detroit Mom’s Local Love Spotlight: Katie Jones

Detroit Mom’s Local Love series highlights local women and the businesses they have built. We love supporting small business! Today’s Local Love Spotlight belongs to Katie Jones, owner of The Jonesy Company, Michigan With Kids, and Lansing Mom.

To start, we asked Katie to share a few fun facts about herself with us!

  • She loves capturing stories in photographs and video that make people feel something.
  • She wanted to be a writer from a very young age but lost herself somewhere along the way and is finally coming back to that dream.
  • She has her Masters in Education and although she left teaching, she uses it frequently when working with small business owners.

We asked her to share a little bit more about her business with us, too. Get to know Katie and her businesses The Jonesy Company, Michigan With Kids, and Lansing Mom, below!

How did you come up with the idea of your business, and how did you start?

“Honestly, I have multiple businesses and just continued to follow what I love. I know that sounds a little cliché but my business changes and adapts all the time based on what I love and am passionate about. I don’t believe that we have to continue to fit a box or a mold.

“For family photography and brand photography, I want it to feel REAL. I started off just taking photos but quickly found that I don’t care for styled sessions and prefer families at home, real life, real days, real love. The same thing applies to brands; while we all need a head shot I’d rather you show me what you do and capture your brand that way. For Michigan With Kids I just let my kids lead me wherever they want to go and we share our very real life exploring. Lansing Mom started as a branch of Detroit Mom but has grown into so much more as a place for moms to connect and feel seen.

“The Jonesy Co. I fell into because I wanted to capture authentic photos and video content for mothers and women who own businesses while providing mentor support for women heading into entrepreneurship. I had been in the entrepreneurship world for a couple years and just felt there was a huge gap in the industries for capturing mothers in ALL that they do; I don’t like to compartmentalize life because it’s messy. The Jonesy Co. is here to support the mother in all that she is.

“Michigan With Kids was a pipeline dream that started in 2021 and has just recently taken off after a lot of hard work on social media. Lansing Mom was a sort of franchise opportunity that was honestly started by women asking for it.”

Knowing what you know now, is there anything you would have done differently when you were first starting out?

“I would have set my services at a higher price. I realize now that what I offer is invaluable and that by not valuing my time, experience, and work I began to burn myself out.”

What is the best business advice you’ve ever been given?

“Community. Plain and simple, you’ve got to be a part of it if you want things to happen for you. Being a part of a community is going to get you ten times further.”

Photo by The Jones Photo Co.

Have you faced adversity in business due to being a woman? How did you navigate that?

“Up to this point I haven’t faced adversity due to being a woman. I think my business models are built to serve mothers and that many women can relate to them.”

How do you persevere in challenging times?

“Quitting, for me, is not an option. I always believe that there is something out there that is right for me, and that I have to keep pushing, even on the hardest days.”

What impact do you want your business to have?

“I want mothers to feel something when they see my businesses at work. Whether it’s a cool spot to take your kids, a moment in time frozen, help with your own business, or a place where you feel seen.”

Photo by Ellie Frances Photography

What are the pros and cons of being a woman business owner in 2024?

“Pros: I can make my own schedule, I make my work fit into my life and not the other way around, and I have the opportunity to make an impact by working with organizations that are pushing for change.

“Cons: people still underestimate women-owned businesses or think that it’s a side hustle, or ask about my “little job.” I think many people don’t realize the work women are doing every day in entrepreneurship and the value that my job holds for our family.”

What knowledge would you share with someone who wants to become an entrepreneur?

“Get a mentor. If you want to start out in entrepreneurship find a mentor who can help you. It will get you where you want to go ten times faster and save you from a few headaches as well! Plus the bonus of having someone to talk to as you navigate entrepreneurship is priceless.”

What do you do for personal and professional development?

“I am currently part of a mastermind group with six other amazing women, all in the same industry as me. I have had mentors, I love to read books for entrepreneurs. And most importantly I like to show up in the community. I learn so much by surrounding myself with other women in entrepreneurship.”

Photo by The Jones Photo Co.

What mantra or quote do you live by?

“I love the quote that reads, “It’s all art.” There are several different variations of it but it is a constant reminder to me that it’s all beautiful, even your mess: “It’s all art. The way you laugh. Your smile. Your wardrobe. The way you decorate your house. The way you dance. Your energy. Your collection of books and the way you write. Your playlists. Your grocery lists. Your friendships. It’s all art. Your whole life is art.””

What’s your favorite place in Detroit or Michigan?

“In all of Michigan: Marquette, it’s just stunning in the Upper Peninsula and it’s our favorite Michigan Town. In Detroit: the river walk at all times, it’s gorgeous, there’s always something going on and [it’s] perfect for the kids.”

Where can our readers find you on social media?

You can follow Katie Jones a few ways: The Jonesy Company, Lansing Mom, The Jones Photo Co., and Michigan With Kids.

We hope you loved getting to know more about Katie + The Jonesy Company, Michigan With Kids, and Lansing Mom. Be sure to check out our previous Local Love Spotlight featuring Sara + Go Grow Playrooms!

The Parenting Post | How Do I Help My Kids Show Respect For Their Things?

Do you cringe a bit when you peek inside your child’s closet or bedroom and see things out of place? If you’re part of the generation that grew up with this idea that a clean room was the highest honor, then yes, it probably drives you a little crazy to see a bit of a mess. And, you might have even thought that you need to lecture your kids about showing more respect for their things. But, does it have to be this way? Can we help our kids show respect for their things without it being a giant argument?

Albiona from The Parenting Post is here with some advice on just this idea: that our children can show respect for what they have–in their own way–and we don’t need to lose our cool when it seems like they’re not. Sometimes, it’s actually a little bit more about us . . . and less about them.

How do we help our kids show respect for their things–and what should we do when they don’t?

First, we should always start with ourselves. We can carry a lot of rigidity around what our expectations are in terms of what kids should and shouldn’t do and how they should care for their things.

Let’s say you grew up in a home where was a lot of emphasis on the way your room needed to look–neat, orderly, clean. There were a lot of rules and expectations around it. And you so you kept it neat, orderly, and clean. You did it whether you understood why, or because you were afraid to not do it. There are a lot of reasons why we follow those types of rules. I’m not saying that they’re bad; you just want to really consider your own upbringing when it comes to this.

Now fast forward to today. It’s a different generation of kids, and we’re a different generation of parents. We want our children to take care of something that we know is valuable or important. And when they don’t, we immediately get triggered. Because for us, that was such an important part of the way we grew up and it was so emphasized to us that if you didn’t take good care of your things, it meant you were bad, disorganized, or irresponsible. There were a lot of names attached to people who didn’t take care of their things. So we see that and we get immediately triggered.

Our response to our child tends to be at a ten rather than at a two. But here’s the thing: our child doesn’t see things the way we see them, from how we grew up. They haven’t lived enough of an experience to really understand what it means to appreciate their things. We certainly want to teach them; we want to guide them and help them to get to that point where they are truly appreciating what they have. But we can’t go at it right away at a ten. We can’t come at them so triggered about it.

So look at your rigidity around what you’re holding on to about this particular topic.

How is it showing up in the way you’re trying to connect with your child when you’re looking to shape or change their behavior? Once you see your trigger, you will almost always respond to them in a much healthier way. Now instead of being at a ten, maybe you bring it down to a two and you just bring them over and say something like this:

“You know what? Let’s connect on this for a second. Here’s what I’m seeing and here’s what it feels like to me. I worked really hard. I wanted to make sure that you had ______. I know this means a lot to you, and maybe you don’t see it this way. But part of our job when we have the opportunity to have something is to really care for it and take care of it. So tell me some things you can do to show me that you can take care of ______. Because I want to really make sure, and I know you can do it. I know you’re responsible enough to take care of your things.”

Put it back on them to tell you how they plan to take care of their things.

Instead of just giving a directive and getting annoyed and being really frustrated and then attaching names that aren’t even true (ungrateful, unappreciative, etc.), work together on this but let them take the lead. The truth is, we want to really dial it down. We want to look at what’s coming up for ourselves. We want to make sure we’re responding from a neutral place.

And connect–you always want to connect. As Dr. Siggie says, “Then, we look to correct.” Then, come up with the plan. But give them the autonomy and the agency to be able to come up with a way to show you that they can take care of their things, that your kids can show respect for their things, while you’re really empowering them with your words and saying, “Hey, I know you got this, and I know you can do this. I really think there’s a way we can come together.”

Parenting can feel, well, overwhelming at times. Our previous Parenting Post offers tips for how to feel less overstimulated while parenting.

The Second Decade of Motherhood

I’m passionate about bringing awareness to the second decade of motherhood because, while millions of moms are experiencing it daily, no one is talking about it. That’s about to change!

Four years ago, a book started pouring out of me. I couldn’t NOT write. It consumed my every waking thought for months. I wrote while I ate, while in my car waiting to pick up carpool, from the sidelines of little league games, and in the stands at swim meets. 

What bubbled up and out of me came from a place deep inside myself that I hadn’t realized I’d silenced. Out came my truths from a voice that had never spoken them aloud; had never acknowledged them as true nor my own. 

Shaking My Identity

This sudden and volatile self-awareness challenged my beliefs, my values, my expectations, and my core identity as a partner, as a mother, and as a whole person. For context, it was May 2019. I was three months away from my 43rd birthday, and five months away from my 13th wedding anniversary. My children were 11-and-a-half and 10 years old. 

When the hypnotic state lifted in the fall of that year, I’d typed 47 pages. The underlying theme of it was clear: I had lost myself. I’d lost sight of the woman I was before I became a mom. And it was imperative that I find her. Or better yet–reinvent her.

Sound the Alarm

“Is this a midlife crisis?” I wondered. Do other women feel this way? Are they harboring a voice that ought to be freed? What if I can help them?

My curiosity quickly transitioned from my own self-awareness to a desperate, save-the-world yearning. I needed to find a way to help them! So I donned my cape along with my elastic-waist pants, a sensible bra (the one without the wire), and my most practical shoes, and I set out to help “them.”

Who are they? They are busy moms, that’s who! I was determined to save ALL of the busy moms. I would need a megaphone, a billboard, a set of those sticks they use to direct airplanes, a whistle, some duct tape, ooh, and some purse snacks. Beyond that, I didn’t really have a plan.

Taking the Leap

Hearing my call, the universe swiftly delivered me into a scenario that would yield a budding partnership in a passion project “to help busy moms coordinate their chaos.” Our intention was to host live workshops and offer tools to help moms give themselves grace on this crazy ride called motherhood. 

We’d help them organize and prioritize the brain clutter that consistently resulted in decision fatigue, overwhelm, exhaustion, and dwindling patience. We even came up with an app-based system to take all of the busy work out of it. A personal assistant in your pocket! What mom doesn’t need that? (cue the superhero music)

We launched our business on February 29, 2020 (literally Leap Day). Thirteen days later, the pandemic ensued. It took about a year for the pandemic to pull the final thread that was holding me together and land me on anxiety medication.

When I got through the guilt and shame of needing help, I added to my to-do list: “teach moms how to overcome feeling guilt and shame when they need help.” I was badly bruised, but not broken. The business would endure a major pivot.

Something’s Gotta Give

As the meds kicked in and we started to come out of the pandemic, I knew I couldn’t go back to life as I’d known it–the mad pace, being everything to everyone else in every moment, the martyr level disregard for self-care, etc. Enough was enough.

I committed to working on myself, setting boundaries, giving myself permission to abide by those boundaries, and communicating those boundaries to my spouse and kids. It felt selfish at first, but it eventually opened my eyes to the realization that when moms take care of themselves, their ability to care for everyone else increases exponentially. 

Time, Wisdom, + Perspective 

All that writing I mentioned at the start of this post was my authentic self breaking through the hard exterior of a life molded by the first decade of motherhood. You’re a mom, so I don’t need to tell you about the unabashed sacrifices of parenting newborns, infants, toddlers, and young children–and how said sacrifices creep in and slowly obliterate the identity of the woman who became the mom.  

The first decade of motherhood is hard in a way that is difficult to put into words; it’s like a saying in another language that doesn’t have a direct English translation. I refer to it with mixed emotions as the hardest and most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

The Undeniable Shift of the Second Decade

My unraveling (er, awakening? . . . it was both) back in 2019 occurred as I rounded the corner from the first decade of motherhood into the second decade. Curious about what this transition had in store for me, I googled, “What is the second decade of motherhood called?” and found nothing. Now, if you’ve searched the internet once or twice, you know there’s always something. I’m telling you–there was nothing.

Third-decade parents are empty nesters, first-decade parents are overwhelmed and, okay there isn’t a name for it, but there is undoubtedly a vibe. If I tell you I have two kids under three, you want to give me a hug ‘cause, ya know. If I tell you I have two kids under 16, you smile and nod, ‘cause well, it doesn’t elicit a vibe. A second-decade mom is the neglected middle child of the bunch.

So I ask you, how is it possible that EVERY mother in the history of the world who has parented a 10- to 20-year-old has gone through this phase and no one has come up with a name for it, let alone a multi-step process through it?

Hold My Kombucha

I set out to get to the bottom of this mystery. Here’s what I found–in the second decade of motherhood, a mom comes up for air long enough to look around and realize the following:

  1. She has indeed lost her identity.
  2. Her kids are gaining independence and need less constant attention.
  3. Her parents are aging and/or ailing and need her support like never before.
  4. Her body is changing and self-maintenance requires a whole new toolkit.
  5. She is at the peak of her career and/or considering going back into the workforce (which can be both empowering and terrifying).
  6. Her relationship with her partner is entering a new phase that can feel like a chapter from a choose-your-own-adventure book.
  7. Inklings of becoming an empty nester start sneaking into everyday thoughts and conversations . . . college, retirement, kids’ romantic relationships . . .

Does any of this resonate with you? I am passionate about exposing this phase of motherhood, building a bridge to it, creating a road map through it, and walking alongside every mom experiencing the shift.

Who’s with me? I’ll be taking a deep dive into each of these seven findings over the next several months. Follow along as I share with you the insights and resources to navigate the second decade.

A number of you are already in it or on the other side of it. What has your experience been? What shifted for you? How did you navigate it? What hurdles did you face and what got easier in the second decade? 

Asking for a friend.

Looking for more inspiring content? Antonette shares the good and bad of being 40, an age that is very much aligned with the second decade of motherhood.

Detroit Mom-Approved Guide to Therapists In + Around Detroit

therapists in and around detroit

*last updated 11/14/2024

Mental health awareness is so important. Here at Detroit Mom, we want to support you however we can. So, we’ve put together a guide to therapists in and around Detroit, with the help of the readers in our community. These therapists are personally recommended by our readers, some of whom have also shared why they recommend seeing the specific provider. If you need support, and are looking for a therapist, please know that you aren’t alone. We are here for you, and so are the readers in our community.

In addition to our guide, we also have a Mental Health Community Group on Facebook that you can request to join. In the group, you’ll find local mothers who are walking similar paths as you. You’ll find support, encouragement, and maybe even a few new friends. On our main website, you’ll also find personal posts from some of our contributors about their journeys with mental health.

a graphic which states detroit mom approved guide to therapists in and around detroit, with an outline of a head, a scribbled line in the brain area and a person standing off to the side holding the end of the line

We hope this guide to therapists in and around Detroit will be beneficial to you. If you know of therapists that we can add to our list, please let us know. Bookmark this post; we will update it periodically. And of course, feel free to share with a friend who may be looking for support.

Guide to Therapists In + Around Detroit

Ann Arbor DBT Center, PLLC | Ann Arbor + Online

Specializes in: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
Recommended provider: Josephine Zolynsky, LLMSW

Our DM reader likes that they offer telehealth appointments. She also likes that they don’t have an issue if you want to ask the director for a therapist change.

Anne C. Di Iorio-Fitzpatrick, LLMSW | Online

Specializes in: depression, anxiety, school/work issues, and more

Our DM reader likes that Anne has a sliding fee scale, as this helps ensure that more people can access mental health resources.

Claire Hogan Counseling | Commerce Township + Warren

Specializes in: women’s wellbeing, grief, infertility, miscarriage and stillbirth, donor conception, perinatal and postpartum adjustment
Recommended provider: Claire Hogan, MA, LPC, NCC

Claire loves to support the full experience of women in a caring and accessible way.

Clear Innervision Counseling | Detroit + Online

Specializes in: individual, couples, and family counseling; depression, grief counseling, LGBTQ-related issues, stress management, and more
Recommended provider: Rhonda Miller

Our DM reader likes that she was able to be supported through her miscarraige and now her pregnancy.

Cultivating Connections Counseling | Online + In-Person

Specializes in: perinatal mental health, EMDR, individual and couples therapy, trauma, anxiety/depression, and OCD
Recommended provider: Rachel Brejcha, PhD, LPC, NCC

Deeper Roots Wellness | Farmington Hills + Online

Specializes in: perinatal, infant, and early childhood mental health

Detroit Counseling Collective | Online + (Limited) In-Person

Specializes in: grief, trauma, EMDR, miscarriage, stillbirth, postpartum, adoption, and foster care
Recommended provider: Brooke Stone ([email protected])

Embodied Wellness, PLLC | Online

Specializes in: working with teens and adults with anxiety, depression, OCD, and trauma

Erica Carulli, PLLC | Online

Specializes in: attachment trauma therapist working with adults navigating trauma, dv/sa, CPTSD, anxiety, and other emotional stressors
Recommended providers: Erica Carulli

Erin Berry Therapy | Ferndale

Specializes in: parenting support, postpartum, women’s issues, anxiety and depression, strengthening personal relationships, stress management, trauma, and spirituality/religion

Franki Bagdade Therapy | West Bloomfield + Online (in-person coming soon)

Specializes in: anxiety, ADHD, autism, parenting support, LGBTQIA allies, and Neurodiversity affirming; individual and group therapy for preschoolers, kids, teens, and adults

Great Lakes Psychology Group | Multiple Locations + Online

Specializes in: anxiety, grief, depression, PTSD, individual therapy, marriage, family, eating disorders, and more
Recommended providers: Heather Milewski (Roseville, online), Lindsay Voorheis (Livonia, online), Christina Tindal (online), Alexandra Lepsetz (Troy, online)

Our DM reader likes that when you call them, they can help match you with the perfect therapist for your specific situation.

Grosse Pointe Psychiatric Services | Grosse Pointe

Specializes in: Cognitive Therapy
Recommended provider: Melissa Altamore

Our DM reader likes that she has great options for resources, from books, to YouTube channels, to handouts. Our reader also likes that Melissa can provide a religious aspect to her therapy (if you’d like).

Happy Mama Counseling | Southfield + Online

Specializes in: Pregnancy, prenatal, postpartum, women’s issues, stress. They see new moms, experienced moms, and moms-to-be.
Recommended provider: Tina Gutman, LMSW

Healing Home Counseling Group | Bloomfield Hills + Online

Specializes in: Perinatal, Family, and Youth Therapy

Heart and Soul Therapy | Online

Specializes in: individual therapy, pregnancy + postpartum, and infertility + loss support
Recommended provider: Brandi Thomas

Insightful Therapy Services | Online

Specializes in: all things motherhood including pregnancy, postpartum, miscarriage/loss, and infertility, as well as other mental health therapists and women’s issues in general such as anxiety, depression, trauma, grief/loss, and eating/body image concerns
Recommended provider: Lauren Haas Kleinow, LMSW

Jordie Smith Counseling | Canton

Specializes in: marriage and family therapist
Recommended provider: Jordie Smith, MS, LMFT

Karen DeKett Counseling Services, PLLC | St. Clair Shores + Online

Specializes in: working with adults in caregiving, helping, and leadership roles; provides a safe space to those who are used to being the “go-to” person for everyone else
Recommended provider: Karen DeKett, MA, LPC

Katherine Kezelian, LMSW | Online

Specializes in: mood, anxiety, and addiction; adolescents and young adults

Our DM reader shares that she is excellent!

Kendal Clinic | Bloomfield Hills + Online

Specializes in: individual psychotherapy (all ages), EMDR, art-based and sand tray-based therapy, parenting support, adult therapy, and more

Lesley Farrell | Ann Arbor

Specializes in: Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LMSW, EMDR, infertility, grief, anxiety

Our DM reader likes that Lesley surpasses all of her expectations for a therapist. Our reader shares that she’s gentle with her feelings, yet makes her assess and reflect appropriately. She also likes that Lesley is positively helping her work through her trauma and helping her grow. Our DM reader shares that Lesley is “just an incredible help and person.”

LifeStance Health | Brighton, Lansing, Highland, Fenton, and New Hudson

Our DM reader likes that they have a therapy dog. She also shares that they are caring and compassionate, and that the facilities are warm and welcoming. Our reader says that she doesn’t feel like she’s talking to a doctor, but rather, to a friend who truly cares about her well-being.

Lotus Psychology Group | Livonia

Specializes in: individual, family, and couples counseling; LGBTQ+ therapy; anxiety, depression, and trauma; multicultural therapy; therapy for Black men and women; services for children and teens

Marissa Johnson, LLMSW | Detroit

Specializes in: Clinical Social Worker/Therapist

Metta & Moxie | Pleasant Ridge

Specializes in: therapy for individual, groups, and couples; yoga classes and retreats

Michigan Medicine | Ann Arbor

Division of Gastroenterology & Hepatology, Department of Internal Medicine

Recommended provider: Christina Jagielski, Ph.D., M.P.H.

Our DM reader likes that this provider was able to get to the root of the digestive issues she was having, and also taught her how to manage her anxiety so that the digestive issues would no longer be a problem.

Mom Power

Specializes in: helps teach how to learn what your child/baby needs in the moments of specific behaviors

Perinatal Adjustment

Specializes in: for women experiencing milder symptoms but still needing support going through the transitions into motherhood

Recommended provider: Natalie Burns

Perinatal Clinic

Recommended provider: Dr. Maria Muzik

Our DM reader likes that she is highly knowledgeable about pregnancy and which medications are okay, and which should be avoided.

Perinatal Dialectical Behavior Therapy Group

Specializes in: for pregnant/new moms struggling with PPD/PPA
Recommended provider: Katie Bresky

Rachel Upjohn Building

Specializes in: weekly group therapy session for mothers who have experienced trauma. Women are screened immediately at first call (takes 15 minutes or so, so plan accordingly when you call the first time) to see what services they can offer.

Mikki Gardner | Birmingham + Online

Specializes in: all things co-parenting including individual parent coaching and coaching for co-parenting parents; focussed on effective communication, conflict resolution, differing parenting styles, and healing post-separation/divorce.

My Time to Heal Counseling | Online

Specializes in: maternal mental health and grief counseling
Recommended provider: Dr. Nikki Scott

Nature’s Playhouse | Ferndale + Online

Specializes in: maternal mental health; babies-in-arms welcome

Niyama Center | Southfield + Online

Specializes in: anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, and more for teens, adults, and couples

Peace of Mind Therapy | Berkley + Online

Specializes in: anxiety and depression in adults using a strengths-based, client-focused approach
Recommended provider: Ronit Szczotka

Perspectives Counseling | Clarkston, Novi, Plymouth, Sterling Heights, Troy, and Rochester

Specializes in: anger management, bipolar treatment, anxiety treatment, couples counseling, depression treatment, group treatment, and more
Recommended provider: Dr. Thompson (Troy location)

Our DM reader likes that Dr. Thompson is an amazing listener, is unbiased, and was able to respectfully challenge our perspectives (when attending for marriage counseling). She also shared that Dr. Thompson gave us insightful homework and problem solving formulas that we now use everyday. Our DM reader also shared that Dr. Thompson is Black, saying, “That may not matter to most but it was a gift for me.”

Radiant You Counseling + Consulting | Farmington

Specializes in: mental health for all ages

Reset Brain and Body | Ann Arbor, Northville, Plymouth, + Online

Specializes in: adults, teens, couples and groups/teams on stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, postpartum mood disorders, social emotional learning, relationships, and chronic pain using trauma-informed and mindfulness-based somatic tools
Recommended providers: Lisa Mcintyre (Northville), Kerry Biskelonis (Ann Arbor + Plymouth), and the team working with parenting or perinatal and postpartum

Our DM reader likes that Lisa is a mom, local to metro Detroit, who has really helped her through some of the darkest moments of her life. She also shares that she likes that Lisa can relate to the struggles of being a working mother.

Rise Psychiatric Services | Online

Specializes in: depression, anxiety, PTSD, grief, post partum depression, parenting struggles, and more

Samantha Gumul, LMSW-C | Bingham Farms + Online

Specializes in: perinatal mental health with Healing Home Counseling Group

Sarah Watson, LPC | Online

Specializes in: licensed professional counseler and certified sex therapist

Start My Wellness | Ferndale

Specializes in: anxiety, depression, Autism, ADHD, grief, trauma, and everything in between.

They are able to see patients within a couple days of contacting their office, and they’re always accepting new patients.

Therapyology | West Bloomfield + Online

Specializes in: children and teen therapy, family sessions, grief and loss

Theresa M. Bateman, LMSW | Troy + Online

Specializes in: Clinical Social Work

The Wright Counseling | Portage + Troy

Specializes in: therapy, testing and assessment (adults and children), and couples workshops

It is our hope that this guide to Metro Detroit therapists will be helpful to you or someone you know. Please remember that if you are struggling with your mental health, we are here for you, and you are not alone.

If you’re looking for a guide to Metro Detroit therapists for your child, check out our list of therapists here.

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In + Around Detroit

The Best Holiday Lights In + Around Detroit: Free + Ticketed...

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*updated 11/14/2024 It's time to bundle up the kids and set out in search of the Detroit area's best holiday lights! There's something magical about...