Holiday Season Stress: 3 Things To Let Go Of

November 30, 2024

Here’s something I wish someone had told me when my littles were still in diapers, sticky fingers grasping at my legs while I attempted to make one more perfectly magical holiday memory, and ended up yelling in a fit of frustration instead: You don’t have to do it all.

In fact, you don’t have to do even half of what is on your Magical To-Do List right now. And I guarantee your kids will still think this season is the absolute best and look forward to it year after year. The bonus is that you’ll be less stressed, which will actually increase the magic that your children enjoy.

If you’re Type A like me and need some specifics (that can be made into a list, of course!), I’ll break it down for you. Here are three important things you can let go of this holiday season.

1. Anything that you simply don’t have time for.

Need to take a treat to preschool and short on time? Buy it instead of making it homemade! See beautifully curated advent calendars on social media but can’t find the time in the day to take a shower, let alone make those? Skip ‘em! Don’t have time to address a bunch of envelopes and get to the post office? It’s okay not to mail holiday cards. No one has time to do every single possible tradition. So go ahead and let something fall off your list that you don’t have time for.

For me, it’s porch pots. I would love to have the time to craft sparkling porch pots with foraged greens and birch logs . . . but I just do not have the time. So, I crossed it off my list years ago and have never looked back. My neighbors may have nicely decorated porches for the holidays. However, it’s just not something I have time for–and I’ve made peace with that.

2. Anything that will make more of a mess than it’s worth.

If the concept of handing your little one a bottle of sprinkles makes your blood pressure rise infinitely, or if the idea of painting your baby’s toes to get that adorable footprint ornament makes you cringe, then this is your permission to cross those items off your list. Homemade items are awesome. But if the stress of making them and then cleaning up makes the experience less than enjoyable, they’re not worth it.

An option that takes the middle ground here is to outsource. Go somewhere like The Painted Pot for those footprint keepsakes, or take a cookie decorating class with Toots Sweets Cookies. Let them handle the set up and clean up for you!

3. Anything not in line with your values for this season.

This is broad, but this is important. Take a moment (which I know is very hard when you’re mothering little ones) and think about what you value most. Now name something you do during the holidays that doesn’t line up with those values. Cross it off your list! This could be as simple as you don’t want to force your child to sit on a stranger’s lap for a photo opportunity because it’s not in line with your value of bodily autonomy and consent.

Here’s an example from my life: I greatly value minimalism and sustainability. I’ve let go of the pressure to create a giant pile of gifts under the Christmas tree. Instead, I have embraced the idea of experiences as gifts. This simplifies both gift buying and wrapping greatly for me, and makes me feel more authentic celebrating the holidays.

And a note on Elf on the Shelf here: if it brings you joy, then by all means do it. If for any reason it does not line up with your values for the season (for example, you don’t want to focus on good behavior being required for presents), then take my permission to skip it. We don’t need to bend to social pressures. And in fact, it’s good to teach our children that different families have different traditions and ways of celebrating. A Google search will give you a variety of ideas for explaining why some families have elves and others don’t. And, it can even give you some crafty ways to “retire” your elf if you have one but don’t want to continue the tradition.

The bottom line is this: you can put in a fraction of the effort that the internet makes you think you need to, and your little ones will still love you and this season with all their beautiful hearts. They will still see the sparkles and brightness of the holidays and feel wrapped in the warmth of love and know that this truly is the most wonderful time of the year. It’s okay to let go of unreasonable holiday expectations and focus on what truly matters most to you.

Hold your little ones extra close, sing them your favorite songs, and kiss those precious faces. Now, that’s true magic.

Mama, feel free to also let go of family drama this holiday season. Jennifer shares three ways to avoid the drama as you gather with family and friends.

Detroit Mom-Approved Local Giving Guide

Jessica Lukenbill

November 28, 2024

As we approach the end of 2024, we recognize the resilience our communities have shown as well as the hardships they’ve faced. We continue to face challenges many of us have never seen before. Charitable and non-profit organizations are overwhelmed by demand. As many Detroit-area families are struggling to meet basic needs this year, community organizations are stepping up efforts to lend a hand. This Giving Tuesday, they need our support.

2024 is the year to open our hearts and lend a hand. Giving Tuesday is the perfect time to do so. We all have something to give. Detroit Mom has found many, many worthwhile organizations that would gladly accept whatever we have to offer.

Maybe it’s an hour a week reading online with kids, or maybe it’s needed supplies. Perhaps it’s a cash donation. Anything we can give will help make Giving Tuesday 2024 an impactful one for charities that rely on donors like us.

Click the photos below to browse some of the local organizations that would love your donation this year!

Managing Grief + Loss As a Family

Amber Armstead

November 27, 2024

Managing grief is hard. As a widow with a young child, I know firsthand some of the difficulties that come with navigating grief and dealing with the loss of a loved one. I lost my husband to cancer when I was 35 and our son was almost two.

I watched our son go down the hall to the room my late husband slept in and look around, confused and not fully understanding that his daddy wasn’t coming back. I had to figure out how to help my son while dealing with my own grief and trying to navigate through life as a widow with a young child. And because grief, loss, and healing are a lifelong process, we are still on this journey.

It has gotten more manageable, but it will never be easy. Below are some things that have helped us along the way.

Professional Help

First, therapy. Therapy. Therapy. I cannot stress the importance of seeking the help of a certified mental health professional. Yes, you have friends and family you can talk to. Yes, you have your faith. Yes, you have books on grief and loss. A therapist is still one of the best investments you can make for the mental and emotional health of you and your family.

A professional therapist can help identify and guide you in ways that others may not be able to. If you end up needing additional support (antidepressants, a psychologist, a social worker, etc.), they can assist with that as well. There are a variety of therapies available for individuals, couples, families, and for children as young as two.

Support Systems

Secondly, when managing grief and loss, learn to let people help you. This one is big, and it was especially hard for me. I was not used to allowing people to help me with anything, even during the 21 months my husband fought cancer while I was caring for our infant son. So when he died, I assumed I would continue on the way I always had, doing things myself.

People would offer to help with groceries, childcare, laundry, and more; I would politely decline. I knew their hearts were in the right place. But even as I was dealing with so much, I found it very difficult to accept help. Then one day, not long after my husband passed (and also shortly after I started therapy), a friend asked if she could do anything for me and I said, “Actually, it’d be great if you could…” And she was happy to help!

Since then, I’ve learned to allow the people that love me to help me. I’ve come to realize that they’re trying to show their love for me by helping. It helps me and them, because oftentimes the people we love feel helpless watching us deal with grief and are unsure of what to do to provide support.

Additional Support

Lastly, find a support group. Or two. Grief and loss are a part of life, because whether it’s a parent, spouse, sibling, child, grandparent, pet, or other family member that dies, we all have, or will one day, deal with death.

Knowing that there are other people dealing with the same pain and loss you are can serve as a reminder that you aren’t alone in how you’re feeling while managing grief. Leaning on others, sharing your story, and hearing the stories of others can be extremely helpful for learning to navigate through grief.

Today you can find a variety of grief support groups for moms, families, young children, and more. There are virtual and in-person support groups available to meet almost any need and schedule.

Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions you’re experiencing while dealing with loss and know that your children may be experiencing some of the same emotions, too. Show yourself, and them, some grace. It sounds simple, but listen to your body. Rest when you need to. Remember to eat and stay hydrated. Those three things are key but so often get overlooked when we’re struggling.

Most importantly, take it one day at a time. And remember: grief is a journey that you don’t have to navigate alone.

Death can be a really complicated thing to explain to children. Kailyn shares tips for talking to children about grief, death, and dying.

The Best Holiday Lights In + Around Detroit: Free + Ticketed Events

LaurenDalton

November 24, 2024

*updated 11/14/2024

It’s time to bundle up the kids and set out in search of the Detroit area’s best holiday lights! There’s something magical about seeing everything all lit up for the upcoming holiday season. With so many options from drive-thru to walking trails, you won’t run out of opportunities to see our wonderful city light up the night!

Please note: events are subject to changes or cancellations. Please contact the event host for more information.

Holiday Lights In + Around Detroit:

Big Bright Light Show | Downtown Rochester

Lights are on every night from 5:00 p.m. to midnight from November 25 to January 19.

Canterbury Village Holiday Stroll | Lake Orion

Walk the grounds of Canterbury Village and take in the gorgeous sights and lights. Buy tickets online before you go! Open select nights from November 15 to December 22.

Detroit Zoo Wild Lights | Royal Oak

Walk through the zoo and see the lights! Tickets purchased in advance are recommended due to number restrictions; there are numerous ticket packages available on their website. Open select evenings from November 23 to January 5.

Glenlore Trails | Commerce

Step into the immersive forest filled with lights, sounds, and interactive elements. Runs from November 15 to December 29.

Holiday Lights at the Farm | Ray

Enjoy a tractor ride around the farm to take in all the dazzling lights. Plus, enjoy the holiday music and visit Santa! Runs Friday through Sunday, from December 6 to December 21.

Home for the Holidays at Ford House | Grosse Pointe

Come home for the holidays and explore the beautiful grounds of the Edsel and Eleanor Ford Home as they are decorated with lights. Then, warm up with a complimentary hot chocolate and tour the main residence. Runs Friday through Sunday, from November 30 to December 22.

Eiffel Avenue | Warren

Watch a residential street transform into a winter wonderland! Many of the homes are decorated with such care and offer many photo op locations.

Magic of Lights | DTE Music Theatre

Drive-thru light display. Tickets on sale online only! Open nightly from November 22 to December 30.

MI Bright Lights | Westland

Musical drive-up light show. Lights are on from November 22 to January 5.

Northern Lights at Beacon Park | Detroit

Stroll along 125,000 dazzling lights and under a walk-through snow globe and larger-than-life snowflake! Runs from November 17 to January 16.

Taylor Winterfest Stroll | Taylor

Walk-thru light displays. Tickets required for entry and purchasing ahead of time is highly recommended. This event will take place from December 19 to December 23.

Trail of Lights | Davison

Walk or take a tractor wagon ride through lighted trails. Pre-registration required for wagon rides. Dogs are welcome on walking nights! Open select nights from December 7 to December 22.

Tunnel of Lights | St. Clair Shores

Visit Blossom Health Park from December 7 to January 12 to walk under the dazzling lights. Food trucks will be there weekends in December!

Winter Wonder Lights | Meadowbrook Hall

Walk the Meadowbrook property lit up for winter! Tickets are required for entry and must be reserved ahead of time. Open from November 29 to December 30.

Wayne County Lightfest | Hines Park

Drive-thru light display. Open Wednesday through Sunday from November 21 to December 24.

After you’ve seen the best holiday lights in the Detroit area, grab some ingredients to make a delicious hot chocolate charcuterie board!

11 Romantic Michigan Getaways to Book ASAP

AntonetteSlobodian

November 23, 2024

The fresh, crisp air, the leaves falling off the trees, the aroma of peppermint lattes, and the feel of cozy, chunky knit blankets by an outdoor or indoor fire—fall and winter in Michigan is the best feeling, especially when it’s the time of year when you celebrate your love. (But really, any time is the perfect time for looking into romantic Michigan getaways with your partner!)

This year, we turned 16–my husband and I celebrated being married for 16 years! Every year (if possible) we love to go on a Michigan fall dream getaway. We love a good road trip with just the two of us: reconnecting, laughing, challenging each other with a Q&A, and getting to know each other on a deeper level.

Check out our top 11 romantic dream getaways in Michigan below that we’ve explored and added to our wish list. Plus, discover six tips for keeping the spark alive!

Our Favorite Spots for Romantic Michigan Getaways

The Colonial Inn | Harbor Springs

A perfect place for a peaceful escape. Harbor Springs offers small-town charm and scenic drives along the Tunnel of Trees. This 130-year-old historical inn will take you back in time and will have you feeling like you’re part of Gone with the Wind! You’ll want to take a nice walk together around the grounds and the heart of Harbor Springs. We usually visit in the summer, but fall is such a great season to explore the city and grab some pumpkin spiced lattes!

Dune Climb Inn | Sleeping Bear Dunes

The former Duneswood Resort has a brand-new name with the same cozy charm! Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore provides a peaceful and unforgettable getaway. Mountain biking or hiking, wine tasting or trail walking, whatever you love to do . . . do it together!

Grand Hotel | Mackinac Island

Famous for its historic charm, horse-drawn carriages, and no cars allowed, doesn’t it sound like a romantic movie? We have yet to stay at this iconic hotel and can’t wait to experience it. Enjoy the stunning Michigan sunsets, long bike rides around the island, and beautiful scenic views together! This is a great way to spend your anniversary or even just for a fun getaway!

The Hotel Saugatuck | Saugatuck

For a romantic and intimate vibe, this luxury bed & breakfast would be a perfect weekend for love! Saugatuck offers boutique shops, great dining, and beautiful beaches for a warm fall day. Adding this one to our list right away–you should too!

Huron House | Oscoda

In Oscoda–along beautiful Lake Huron–this bed & breakfast will have you feeling like young love. An award-winning adult getaway, enjoy the lakeside fire pits while dreaming about your future together. Manifest your dreams of becoming the best partner for your babe!

The Inn on Ferry Street | Detroit

For a mix of city-feel and relaxation, combine historical architecture and the feeling of being part of Bridgerton or a holiday Hallmark movie and it’s the perfect spot for a romantic urban escape. Detroit is a hot spot for all of the modern and trendy restaurants, too! Plan a cozy night with your boo here and the next day check out the museums, all within walking distance from the Inn.

Spillway Lodges | Bellaire

Bellaire has a charming country vibe that invites you to relax on the porch of one of its beautiful dollhouses, sipping tea and enjoying a good book! This lodge is a perfect luxury getaway for couples looking to escape into nature. Nestled near Torch Lake and the Chain of Lakes, couples can indulge in outdoor adventures, cozy evenings by the rooftop fire, and calming moments in the hot tub–or, if you dare, invigorating experiences in the cold plunge! We were so happy to spend our anniversary here this year!

Stafford’s Bay View Inn | Petoskey

With its charming downtown, Victorian architecture, and breathtaking views of Lake Michigan, Petoskey is perfect for couples! Your romantic stay at the Inn will take you on a “Bridgerton-like” getaway. Talk about a steamy romance! A historic and romantic atmosphere will provide you with unforgettable memories!

Stillwater Stables & Stays | Ortonville

Stillwater Stables offers the perfect blend of rustic charm and romantic serenity for couples seeking a getaway! Nestled in a picturesque countryside, this enchanting retreat invites you to reconnect with nature and each other. Enjoy peaceful horseback rides through scenic trails, cozy evenings by the fire, and the A Walk to Remember kind of starry nights. Whether you’re celebrating an anniversary or simply escaping the hustle of everyday life, Stillwater Stables is the ideal destination to create unforgettable memories with the one you love the most!

The Village at Grand Traverse Commons | Traverse City

This historic former asylum turned modern-chic village offers unique charm with cute shops, fancy restaurants, and beautiful trails. Stay in a renovated suite at The Village and enjoy wine tasting up the peninsula (one of our favorite places is Bonobo Winery!). Recommended by a good friend, we stayed here multiple times because each room is different, and the gorgeous grounds are perfect for a romantic, relaxing experience.

Weathervane Terrace Inn & Suites | Charlevoix

The quaint town of Charlevoix on the shores of Lake Michigan has stunning views, unique architecture, and beautiful beaches. My boys and I have only passed through Charlevoix and enjoyed the downtown area . . . next time, we would love to stay here and relax in the hot tub!

Six Ways to Keep the Fire Strong in Your Marriage

After 16 years of marriage, we’ve come to appreciate that it’s no longer that shiny, young (stupid) love it once was–and that’s a beautiful thing! Our relationship has evolved, and we are grown adults now (individually, and as a couple!). We continue to rediscover each other year after year and support one another no matter what. Here are some hot tips for keeping the spark alive and staying strong together:

Laugh a lot.

Remember, you didn’t just marry your spouse; you married your best friend. You do everything together—eat, sleep, brush your teeth, go on trips—and laughing until one of you nearly pees your pants should always be at the top of the list!

Touch a lot.

There’s something so simple yet sensual about holding hands. It takes you back to those first dating days when everything felt new and exciting. Whether it’s holding hands or any other kind of touch, every little bit of human connection strengthens your bond.

Talk it out.

If you’re anything like me, when I’m heated, I love to go silent! But I’m still learning the art of talking through disagreements. Baby steps and compromise, right? Luckily, my husband is the opposite.

Be passionate.

What is love without passion? With each other, with each other’s passions, with life! Show your partner how much you care by being passionate about their passions.

Surprise each other.

Shake things up! Book a quick getaway, cook something new and exciting, or plan a fun night out like a murder mystery dinner or holiday in the city. Little surprises keep things fresh and fun!

Grow together.

The key word is together. You married to build a life as a team, so every new chapter is a chance to level up as a couple. Celebrate each other’s wins and growth along the way!

We have been together for more than 20 years. We’ve learned that whenever we get into an argument, we always come back to the “WHY” behind our love. Is what we’re fighting about really worth the stress? It’s that simple question that keeps us grounded and focused on what truly matters: our family, our legacy, us.

Michigan has so many unique spots to check out! Our travel series explores all that our great state has to offer.

Where to Find Mental Health Support for Children: A Resource Guide

Detroit Mom

November 22, 2024

This was a heavy week for our community in Oxford. As mothers, we can’t even begin to imagine what the families, teachers, students, and everyone involved are going through. There are no words that could convey how heartbroken we are, but we are here for you. When having conversations with your children about these traumatic events, you may be feeling like you still need more support. Below, you will find links to resources that are providing mental health support specifically for children.

We hope these resources will be beneficial to you and your family. If you know of resources that we can add to our list, please let us know. Plan to bookmark this post; we will update as more resources come in.

Where to Find Support for Children

The Crisis Text Line

This resource is available 24/7. You can text HOME to 741741, reach out through their website, or send a message through Facebook.

Community Mental Health

There are a variety of resources available, depending on the county you live in. Please click the name of your county for more information on what is available in your specific area.

Genesee County | You can call 24/7 at (810) 257-3740; additionally, you can reach someone at (810) 232-6310 (TTY) and (877) 346-3648 (toll-free). They also work with the Crisis Text Line; just text FLINT to 741741 at anytime.

Lapeer County | For support at the family or individual level, you can call a few different phone numbers: Lapeer CMH at (810) 667-0500; their Access Center at (888) 225-4447; the Michigan Crisis and Action Line at 1 (844) 446-4225.

Livingston County | You can reach them in an emergency at two different phone numbers: (517) 546-4126 or (800) 615-1245 (toll-free number).

Macomb County | Call to schedule an appointment. You may be able to have an appointment the same day you call. For immediate help, you can call their Crisis Line 24/7 at (586) 307-9100.

Oakland County | In addition to providing services to the local community, they are offering two phone numbers for additional support. The Oakland County 24-Hour Crisis Helpline can be reached at (800) 231-1127. The Michigan Crisis and Access Line can be reached at 1 (844) 446-4225; you can call or text.

St. Clair County | The CMH Mobile Crisis Unit will respond to any location in St. Clair 24/7 and can be reached at (810) 966-2575. The Access Center can be reached at (888) 225-4447. They also have a First Responder Hotline available 24/7, and the phone number is (810) 363-9005.

Washtenaw County | For 24/7 crisis services, you can call (734) 544-3050.

Wayne County | You can reach their 24-hour helpline at 1 (800) 241-4949. DWIHN is offering grief counselors to those affected by the events at Oxford High School. They are extending this service to first responders, families, students, and teachers.

Common Ground

Help is available 24/7 by calling 1 (800) 231-1127. You can also chat right on their website, as well as find a crisis center and send a text with your phone 24/7.

Macomb Family Services

They are providing telehealth services primarily, but in-person sessions are available if necessary.

New Oakland Family Centers

They are offering in-person and telehealth support. You can call (800) 395-3223 to get an update on their services.

Oakland Family Services

They have a contact form right on the website that you can fill out so that they can contact you regarding the services you may need. They specialize in prevention, education, and treatment.

Starfish Family Services

There are four in-person locations currently using telehealth. For more information, you can call (888) 355-5433. They have many locations focused on early childhood education and behavioral health.

Where to Find In-Person Support for Children

Bright Pine Behavioral Health | West Bloomfield + Clarkston

There are two convenient locations in West Bloomfield and Clarkston. Bright Pine Behavioral Health specializes in serving children, adolescents, and families. They are also offering two free neuropsychological evaluations to two people who do not have the financial means to afford one; you can reach them by calling or texting (248) 455-6619.

Child & Family Solutions Center | Bingham Farms

They serve children, teenagers, adults, and families. When you request an appointment, they offer a free, confidential phone consultation. Their news and articles page has a lot of valuable information regarding your child and what they may be experiencing.

Franki Bagdade Therapy | West Bloomfield + Online (in-person coming soon)

Franki specializes in anxiety, ADHD, autism, parenting support, LGBTQIA allies, and Neurodiversity affirming. Individual and group therapy is offered for preschoolers, kids, teens, and adults.

KaraLee & Associates | Plymouth; 3 locations

They are supporting children, adolescents, and adults. Their resources page has a long list of available resources, on a wide variety of topics.

Mala Child & Family Institute| Plymouth

Their services are available in-person and online. A pre-therapy appointment will ensure that your child/family are paired with the exact clinician to best meet your needs.

Nature’s Playhouse | Ferndale

Nature’s Playhouse supports the entire family. They want to help each family find their “village”. They offer in-person and virtual services. While more focused on the parents, they want to help the entire family. Helping your children can start with helping yourself as well.

Reflections Child and Family Therapeutic Group | Bloomfield Hills

Their therapists specialize in many areas, including trauma. They support children, teenagers, adults, and families. You can fill out a contact form on their website or call to get more information.

The Children’s Center | Detroit

The Children’s Center works with children who may have experienced trauma, and aim to treat the whole child. They also have a crisis care center located in Detroit.

Resources for Support with Grief

Arbor Hospice | Saline

They offer a grief journey program that helps children and teens to express how they are feeling. Arbor Hospice offers in-person and virtual support groups for this program. They also offer support programs all year long.

Compassionate Friends | Various chapter locations

On their website, you’ll find a map to locate your local chapter. This organization supports family members and friends who have experienced the loss of a child.

Ele’s Place | Ann Arbor, Grand Rapids, Flint, and Lansing

Ele’s Place wants to support children and families who are grieving. Their website has information on grief for children, teenagers, parents, teachers, and medical professionals.

GrieveWell | Ann Arbor

While focusing on the grieving adult, GrieveWell also wants to support those who surround the adult. You can click here for their young adult resources. They offer a variety of apps, podcasts, and videos, as well as articles and free virtual support.

New Hope Center for Grief Support | Northville

For those who are grieving the death of a loved one, this organization wants to support you. They offer a wide range of programs to support you on your grief journey.

It is our hope that these resources will be beneficial if you are wondering where to find mental health support for children. If there are any other resources you feel should be included in this resource guide, please let us know. We will update this post periodically.

Reclaim Your Time + Sanity: A Guide to Outsourcing

Kelly Gianotti

November 21, 2024

Let’s face it: as moms, we have a never-ending list of things to do. No matter how hard we work, something is left undone. There simply just aren’t enough hours in the day. Fortunately, there’s help–outsourcing! Outsourcing tasks is the idea of having someone else do a particular task for you. Sometimes you pay for these jobs to be done; other times, it’s more like a favor or a division of labor.

If you’re overwhelmed by all that needs to get done in a day, keep reading for some outsourcing ideas and real-life tips from some of Detroit Mom’s contributors.

Childcare

Raising kids takes a village. With varying work, school, and activity schedules, it’s nearly impossible to get by without childcare help. Whether you have someone to help with the kids sporadically or routinely, having an extra person to rely on is so relieving.

School and activity drop-offs and pick-ups can also be a source of major concern. Outsourcing tasks like this might mean you enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member! Perhaps they can do the drop-off and pick-up for a specific activity, or commit to a certain day of the week. It’s a simple favor that goes a long way!

If you are the parent of a special needs, disabled, or neurodivergent child, there are often extra help and resources available to you! Check with your local county for recommendations for respite care or other caregiving services.

“I’m a big fan of outsourcing childcare. We have always had a full-time or part-time nanny or au pair but also have a roster of babysitters. I like to have a list of at least six people I can call because their availability is all different.” -Jennifer Dewey

Cleaning

For many of us, a messy house causes great anxiety. Not having the time or energy to keep it spick and span causes even more anxiety. It’s a vicious cycle. If you can afford it, try outsourcing tasks related to cleaning by having a house cleaner. It’s a great way to maintain a livable, organized space. You can even get help with decluttering and organizing.

“To keep a balance on expenses versus sanity, we have a housecleaner clean just the ‘wet’ areas of our home every other week. She cleans the bathrooms and the kitchen and it is such a big help!” -Karli McNeill

“…I finally found an independent cleaner who comes only when I need. She only does the kitchen and/or bathrooms, and it’s been life-changing. I’ve found the cost is more manageable with an independent cleaner compared to a cleaning service, and they are open to coming on an as-needed basis.” -Kaitlin Lochner

Groceries

If there was one good thing to come out of the pandemic, it was grocery pick-up and delivery. Most major grocery retailers (Aldi, Amazon, Kroger, Meijer, Walmart, etc.) have grocery pick-up for free with a certain amount spent, or grocery delivery for a minimal fee. Instacart and Shipt are also great services that give you back some time!

You can take this a step further by using eMeals. Their slogan is, “less stress, more dinners.” The premise is that you choose from their premade meal plans and then send the shopping list to your local grocery store. You get the groceries and make dinner!

“Instacart was a game changer for me! It takes off so much of the mental load from grocery shopping, packing, unpacking, and even narrowing down choices.” -Faten S.

“Instacart has changed my life! No I’m not being overdramatic! I have benefited so much from taking grocery shopping off [the] to-do list. I love the convenience of being able to order groceries from my phone in between meetings or even while taxiing to the gate in an airplane when I have landed on a business trip.” -Franki Lynn

“The main thing I outsource is grocery shopping. I use Walmart+ or Aldi curbside. It is a huge time saver for me. I also use eMeals for meal planning. You pick your meals and it gets added to a shopping list; I use Walmart and you can add groceries.” -Allyson Dunn

Meals

Getting groceries is only half the battle! Then you need to find time to cook and figure out what to make that everyone will eat. Oh, and don’t forget about lunches for everybody, too. There’s a meme out there that says: “Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life until you die?” It’s funny because it’s true!

Luckily, there are many services available to help ease this burden and make outsourcing tasks like this easier. Some of the most well-known meal plans are from Blue Apron, EveryPlate, Hello Fresh and, Purple Carrot (a vegan option!). Each subscription is unique in its recipes and prices.

There are also local options that offer freshly prepared meals ready to go. Clean Plates Detroit, based out of Ferndale, delivers ready-to-eat meals in Metro Detroit. Simply Good Kitchen in Birmingham has a vending machine/kiosk for to-go meals. And, Full Circle Meals in the city of Washington offers weekly pre-ordering or grab-and-go meals that are fresh and ready to eat!

“My husband surprised me with four meals this week from Hello Fresh because he thought I could use some help with dinner time as I have been struggling lately. We order it randomly when we need dinner inspiration.” -Amanda Nihem

“We used to use Blue Apron for meal delivery! Everything came in one box, and the directions were easy to follow. We enjoyed cooking the meals together and liked that it got us to try different meals that we otherwise probably wouldn’t have tried.” -Whitney Cornelli

Outdoor Maintenance

Cut the grass. Pull the weeds. Plant the flowers. Rake the leaves. Plow the snow. No matter the season, there’s always some outdoor job waiting to get crossed off your to-do list. Consider outsourcing tasks for things like lawn maintenance, especially if it isn’t something you enjoy doing! Coyro Landscaping in Grosse Pointe or Majestic Lawn & Landscape in Macomb County are two recommendations. You could also see if there is a high school or college student in your neighborhood looking to make a little extra money!

“My husband and I would always share our lawn maintenance chores, based on his work-travel schedule. Recently, we outsourced that task. It has been nice to not have one more item added to my list when I am solo-parenting.” -Jessica Johnson

Miscellaneous Ideas

You don’t have to do it all, especially not alone. If you have a partner at home, enlist his/her help. If you’re the one doing the meal planning and grocery shopping, perhaps your partner can do the cooking. Eve Rodsky created a program called “Fair Play,” which outlines a system for how to divide up household tasks fairly, based on your needs. Have a discussion with your partner about how you can work together to accomplish all that needs to be done.

When it comes to shopping for yourself, try out a clothing rental or subscription service. These can be used for special events or just everyday clothing. Subscriptions like Stitch Fix are a great option to take the guesswork out of your daily wardrobe. Other services, such as Rent the Runway, can help you save time, money, and energy when looking for an outfit for a special event.

For your laundry needs, utilize a local laundromat or dry cleaner. Some areas even have companies that will pick up/drop off your clothing for you!

As for your pets? Hire a dog walker! Check out your local community for teenagers or others who are looking to help out.

If you’re trying to decide if outsourcing a task is right for you, here is a tip from mom Karli McNeill: “I set my own ‘internal household labor rate’ to $50 per hour. It’s different than my salary; basically a financial number for what I see my time is worth for labor at home. If it’s a task I do not enjoy and someone else can do it better or cheaper than my rate, then I will look to outsource it. The amount we choose to outsource depends on our financial goals at the time. Are we trying to pay down debt? Lower stress? Save for a trip? We adjust outsourcing based on that!”

Take back some of your precious time by outsourcing tasks from that never-ending chore list. You deserve it!

Have a listen to the Unfiltered Mom Podcast episode titled, “Working Moms: Exhaustion, Burnout, and Guilt” to hear more ideas for outsourcing tasks and reclaiming your sanity.

Navigating Secondary Infertility As You Grow Your Family

Detroit Mom

November 17, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The following post is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about secondary infertility.

The thing about infertility is that it can happen whether you’re trying to grow your family for the first time or for the third. If you were able to conceive without reproductive support and now, as you try to grow your family again, you’re having difficulty, secondary infertility may be the reason why.

Our friends from Michigan Center for Fertility and Women’s Health are here to support you on your fertility journey. You might have caught their Fertility Friday series on our IG page–quick videos to answer common fertility questions. Below, they’re sharing about secondary infertility and what you might be able to expect if you’re navigating this journey.

What is secondary infertility?

Secondary infertility refers to those experiencing infertility issues after they’ve already previously conceived and given birth without the assistance of reproductive treatment or technologies.

How long do I need to wait before seeking support?

We use similar guidelines for primary infertility when diagnosing secondary infertility: if you are over 35 and have been trying to conceive for six months, or if you are under 35 and have been trying to conceive for one year. Of course, changes in your health status may impact these criteria.

For example, did your cycles change, or are they absent? Do you have a new medical diagnosis? Certain factors may indicate a reason for a consult sooner than the standard infertility definitions.

Why does secondary infertility occur?

Similarly to primary infertility, there are a variety of reasons why secondary infertility may occur. A common reason may be age. If you were younger, especially younger than 35 when conceiving your first child, it may be more challenging to conceive for the second time (especially if you are now over the age of 35). This can occur due to the natural decline in the number of eggs we have and the quality of those eggs.

Other possible causes may include anatomical changes, sperm changes, or new medical diagnoses, to name a few.

“I conceived before, so I definitely don’t need to go in to be seen…”

It can be a misconception that if you were able to conceive previously without reproductive support, you won’t need intervention the next time around. However, that’s not necessarily the case. Secondary infertility is not uncommon and certainly if you are meeting the criteria listed above, it may be worth making an appointment and getting a workup started. Determining if there is a cause for secondary infertility and treating it appropriately will help to achieve the goal of growing your family in a timely and efficient manner.

What can I expect at an appointment for secondary infertility?

An appointment for secondary infertility will look similar to an appointment for those experiencing infertility for the first time. A detailed history, including your prior conceptions and details associated with getting pregnant in the past, will be included. Based on the history, a work-up will be ordered followed by a follow-up to determine what options are best. This will allow us to establish a plan ideally suited for you.

Navigating a new diagnosis? Check out our previous post sharing what you should know about PCOS.

What I’d Do Differently as a Preemie Mama

Whitney Cornelli

November 17, 2024

November is Prematurity Awareness Month. It is an opportunity to celebrate, honor, and remember our children who were born too soon. According to the March of Dimes, an infant is considered premature if they are born before 37 weeks of pregnancy. In 2022, the state of Michigan had a preterm birth rate of 10.4%. This equates to roughly one in 10 babies being born prematurely. Think about your circle of friends and their children. You may find yourself in the midst of a preemie.

My oldest daughter is one in 10. She was born at 34 weeks, a little over 24 hours after I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. She is now a sweet and spunky seven-and-a-half-year-old who has come a LONG way from that little four pound baby. And November is always a month for us to celebrate how far she’s come and remember where she started.

When I gave birth at 34 weeks, I had no idea what to expect. The thoughts that ran through my mind were scary. Conversations with doctors sounded more like Charlie Brown’s teacher than anything I could make sense of. My husband and I were first-time parents of a baby who we had to scrub in from fingertip to elbow just to stand next to.

I think about our experience with prematurity quite a bit. The helpful bits of advice we were given from people we didn’t realize were familiar with prematurity were greatly appreciated. However, looking back, there are definitely a few things I would have done differently when I had a premature baby.

I would have listened to the stories of people who had been there before me.

I was confident that nobody else could possibly know what I was going through. One night, I remember crying in the NICU when we had to complete yet another feeding via NG tube (a small tube that runs through the nose straight into the stomach). Our daughter had fallen asleep while drinking from a bottle (suck-swallow-breathe is VERY tiring for a preemie). My mom told me of a friend whose daughter was born prematurely and how one day feeding just “clicked.” I shrugged it off and thought there was no way that would happen with us.

A few days later we were taking our preemie home because she no longer needed her NG tube (among other goals she had achieved). Rather than really listening to what my mom’s friend had to say, I shrugged it off and thought I was alone. Oh, how I wasn’t. Take in what those who have been there before you have to say, and take it to heart.

I would have quit Googling things late at night.

While pumping in the middle of the night in my hospital room, I would google the same preemie-related things: respiratory distress, pneumothorax, length of NICU stay for a 34-weeker, etc. I would read the same few articles each night, thinking that perhaps this time, it would make me feel better. It didn’t. No matter how many times I read the same article, it was always scary.

Talking to the medical team during rounds and asking questions made me feel better (which, we were told to do. It was the “don’t google” advice that we were never given!). The medical team is there for you. Go to them with the questions you were debating googling. Then rest assured when they provide you with information that is tailored exactly to your little fighter.

I would have reached out to that person who told me they were there if I needed anything.

Someone reached out and told me that they had recently had a premature baby. She said if I needed to talk, I could send her a message. I definitely needed to talk, but I never sent her a message. I wondered how she could know what I was experiencing. Every preemie baby and experience is so different. However, moms need to support one another and take up offers of support, too. So if someone reaches out to you, don’t dismiss their offer.

Take a few days or a few weeks, and when you’re feeling ready, type out your message and hit send. Prematurity is LONELY. I felt alone. Someone reached out to me, but I didn’t feel like I could reach back. If I had, I would have found someone in a similar situation. It would have been close enough to make me feel less alone during a very scary time.

I would have written it all down.

The NICU gifted us a journal to keep track of our days while we were there. It was part of our welcome bag, which I stubbornly didn’t even look inside until the week our daughter was discharged. I only wrote two entries in her journal. I really wish I would have started with how I was feeling on day one. Having a preemie is full of ups and downs, good days and bad days. By the end of her NICU stay, we were feeling pretty confident and proud. In the beginning, though? Not so much.

Pictures are wonderful, but your concrete thoughts and feelings can also last forever. So write it out. Maybe it’s once a day or once every few days. Writing about how you’re feeling can be helpful in remembering how far you and your child have come.

Prematurity is scary. It can feel lonely, but it doesn’t have to be. This Prematurity Awareness Month, celebrate your little fighter. Remember where they started, and marvel at how far they’ve come since then. But don’t forget about yourself: you’ve come a long way, too, and you’ve learned so much along the way.

What pieces of advice do you wish you would have been given during your prematurity journey? Moms in our community shared their best advice for parents of preemies.

Metro Detroit Winter Activities from A to Z

LaurenDalton

November 15, 2024

Detroit Mom partnered with the amazing people at Blake Farms to bring you this post. All opinions are our own.

There is a chill in the air and the snowflakes will be falling soon. Before we know it, the kids will be off school for holiday break, and we will all be scrambling to fill those cold winter days.

Our team here at Detroit Mom is here to help fill up your winter calendar and keep the festivities planned all winter long! Our list of metro Detroit winter activities from A to Z is sure to keep your family busy these next few months.

Whatever you choose to do, remember to have FUN and share with us on social media. We can’t wait to see all the fun things you do this winter!

Metro Detroit Winter Activities from A to Z: Winter Bucket List

B is for Blake Farms! This winter, make it A Season to Remember at Blake’s—your ultimate family destination for festive fun and memory-making! Spend the day picking out the perfect Christmas tree with u-cut and pre-cut options, visit with Santa to capture the magic, and drop off letters straight to the North Pole. Enjoy a cozy dinner in our Tasting Room, with the choice to dine inside or in a charming igloo. And don’t forget to stop by the Cider Mill for fresh donuts, cider, and holiday treats to make this season truly unforgettable.

Head to our website to learn more about what we have planned this winter!

A: Arctic Coliseum | Chelsea

Bring the ice skating indoors at the Arctic Coliseum. They offer DJ ice skating with disco lights on Saturdays as well as a variety of open skate options throughout the week.

Bonus: Be part of the Ann Arbor Polar Plunge to help support the Special Olympics of Michigan.

B: Big, Bright Light Show | Rochester

Take a stroll down Main Street and check out one of the best light displays in the area. With over 1.5 million lights, downtown Rochester is sure to light up this winter season. Main Street will also be home to a variety of events including window painting contests, cookie strolls, winter markets, and so much more.

Bonus: Enjoy Breakfast with Santa at the Grosse Pointe War Memorial on December 15th or Bedtime with Santa on December 8th-12th.

C: Canterbury Village | Lake Orion

Canterbury Village offers events year round, but is sure to help fill the calendar up these next few months. Stroll through the village that has been transformed with over one million lights, listen to carolers sing, and enjoy meeting many of your favorite holiday characters.

Bonus: Hop on a Christmas Light Trolley Tour with friends from either Troy or Grosse Pointe!

D: Dodge Park Ice Rink | Sterling Heights

The Dodge Park Ice Rink will be open for the season on December 1st. The ice rink is free for residents and $5 for non-residents. They also offer skate rentals and sharpening.

Bonus: Check out indoor ice skating at Detroit Skating Club in Bloomfield Hills.

E: Edsel and Eleanor Ford House | Grosse Pointe Shores

Take a step back in time and immerse yourself in the Ford House’s beauty in one of their nighttime Ford House Christmas tours. They also offer holiday events for both kids and adults throughout the next few months. Be sure to also check out their story times on Tuesdays, too! And, this year the glittering lights are back to illuminate the beautiful grounds.

Bonus: Visit the last Holiday Market of the season on December 1st at Eastern Market.

F: Fox Theatre | Detroit

The holiday season would not be complete without a trip downtown to visit the Fox or Fisher Theater. From How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Nutcracker, Cirque Du Soleil, and many more all winter long . . . there is a show for everyone!

Bonus: Enjoy a family movie day with $5 MJR rewind classics.

G: Glenlore Trails | Commerce Township

Enjoy the immersive winter experience as you stroll through the one mile pathway of live performances and interactive light features.

Bonus: Head on over to Greenfield Village for Holiday Nights!

H: Huckleberry Railroad | Flint

All aboard! Time to board the Huckleberry Railroad train and take in thousands of dazzling lights. When your ride is over, browse the shops and finish that Christmas shopping for everyone on your list.

Bonus: Get in the spirit in check out the Holiday Bar at the Royal Park Hotel.

I: Igloo Dining | Various Locations

As the weather cools down it’s time to bring the dining indoors–kind of–and dine inside the many igloo dining locations around Metro Detroit. From Blake’s in Armada, to Watermark in St. Clair Shores, to Detroit Fleat in Ferndale, you will be sure to see igloos popping up all over town as the temperatures begin to drop.

Bonus: Go sledding at Indian Springs Metropark in White Lake.

J: Jingle Bell Run | Shelby Township

Just because the weather is getting cooler and the snow is beginning to fall doesn’t mean our fitness is put on the back burner completely. Dust off those running shoes (or snow boots, maybe) and head over to the Jingle Bell Run for a 5k benefiting several charities around metro Detroit. The run takes place on Sunday, December 15th.

Bonus: Head over to the Jingle Mingle in St. Clair Shores on December 7th.

K: Kensington Metropark | Milford

There may be some snow on the ground soon, but that doesn’t mean we can’t go hiking. Bundle up and head out to one of the many trails at Kensington Park. Throughout the month of December, they also offer an event called “Chow Time at the Farm,” where children can help the staff feed the animals!

Bonus: Take a Chunky Knit Blanket class at one of the various AR Workshop locations in Metro Detroit to stay cozy all winter long.

L: Light the Village | Rochester

Head over to the village of Rochester Hills to watch it glow in lights on November 22nd. There will be food trucks, Santa visits, and and evening ends with winter fireworks.

Bonus: Try out indoor ice skating at Livonia Civic Arena.

M: Meadow Brook Hall and Theater | Rochester

With over 50 trees and live greenery throughout the historic landmark home, this self-guided holiday tour is not one to miss. You can then head outside to the dazzling light display and purchase many tasty treats. Lastly, grab your tickets for the 40th anniversary of the Christmas Carol put on at Meadow Brook Theater, right on the Oakland University Campus.

Bonus: Check out Magic of Lights at Pine Knob, and/or go skiing at Mt. Holly!

N: Nature Walk | Detroit

The newly renovated Belle Isle Nature Center is host to many nature walks and a variety of programs for the nature enthusiast of all ages.

Bonus: Head out for some indoor ice skating at the Novi Ice Arena.

O: Opera House | Detroit

Head downtown to enjoy a night at the Opera House to see a variety of performances of all genres. The Opera House also offer tours as well as dance classes.

Bonus: Get outside and enjoy the fresh winter air at Orion Oaks.

P: Plymouth Historical Museum | Plymouth

Step back in time at the Plymouth Historical Museum and enjoy a taste of what it may have been like in the late 19th century. Be sure to visit their enchanted winter wonderland and the many other events they have in the month of December.

Bonus: Check out Pine Knob Ski Resort in Clarkston or the various events in Plymouth, like Plymouth Ice Fest and Main Street Tree Lighting.

Q: QLine | Detroit

What better way to explore downtown Detroit than to hop on the QLine? Park near the Riverwalk and enjoy a stroll along the Detroit River. Get off the QLine at Campus Martius for a stop at Cadillac Lodge and some ice skating. Hop off at Grand Circus to grab a bite at many of the great local eateries. Make a stop at Fox Theater for a show or the arena district to catch a Red Wings or Pistons game. And last up . . . make your way up to the museum district before you end in the North End neighborhoods and make your way back.

Be sure to check the Qline website for their Ride, Scan, Save program to see discounts with partnering businesses on the Qline track!

R: Rolling Hills Sledding Hill | Ypsilanti

Rolling Hills Sledding Hill is a 275-foot long hill that offers inner tube rentals. The top of the hill is 70 feet wide, which allows families to spread out for safe sledding.

Bonus: Head on over to the Riley Park Outdoor Ice Rink in Farmington.

S: Snowfest | Frankenmuth

Head up to Frankenmuth to see over 100 ice sculptures, snow sculpting competitions, fireworks, and so much more! With a variety of shops and dining options, Snowfest is sure to be a fun outing for everyone in the family. Snowfest takes place January 29-Feb 2nd!

Bonus: Have fun sledding at Snowy Ridge Sledding Hill in Commerce.

T: Tunnel of Lights | St. Clair Shores

The Tunnel of Lights held at Blossom Heath Park transforms an everyday park into a holiday light wonderland on December 8th. Throughout the month of December, the park also hosts holiday events and will bring in many food trucks and special performance groups.

Bonus: Celebrate New Year’s Eve in Detroit with The Drop, or check out Troy Historic Village!

U: Under the Lights Tubing | Bloomfield Hills

Light up the night with some tubing under the stars. Not only does Bowers Farm offer tubing, you will also find an ice rink with skate rentals, bonfires, and the farm store. The fun starts January 5th!

Bonus: Take part in the Ugly Sweater Skate at United Skates Lincoln Park on December 6th.

V: Van Hoosen Farm and Museum | Rochester Hills

The historic Van Hoosen Farm comes alive at the holidays and allows visitors to take candlelight walking tours, as well daytime holiday house tours with a stop to view the interactive railroad exhibit.

Bonus: Have fun with the firepits, curling, and sledding at Valade Park in Detroit.

W: Wayne County Lightfest | Westland

Load the family up in the car and take a four mile drive through Hines Park to view 50 animated displayed and over 100,000 lights.

Bonus: Celebrate Black History Month in February at The Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History. Also, go sledding at Waterford Oaks in Waterford!

X: X-Country Skiing | Huron-Clinton Metroparks

Visit nine of the 13 Huron-Clinton Metroparks during the winter months that offer x-country skiing!

Y: YMCA | Metro Detroit

As they say . . . it’s fun to stay at the YMCA. With seven locations in the metro Detroit area, the YMCA has enrichment activities for all ages. You’ll find youth sports, various holiday programming, family enrichment, and indoor swimming.

Bonus: Visit one of the winter farmers market in Ypsilanti.

Z: Zoo Wild Lights | Royal Oak

Visit the zoo after hours to view millions of twinkling lights and see the zoo in a whole new way. With walk-through light tunnels, enchanted forests, and ending the night with a viewing of the Polar Express in the 4D theater . . . this surely will be a night to remember!

Bonus: Plan an overnight trip to Zehnder’s Splash Village.

Looking for more metro Detroit winter activities? Check out our complete list of holiday lights to see this winter!

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