When I’m holiday shopping, I like to think out of the box. The gift box, that is. It seems that this time of year so many of us are inundated with a mountain of “stuff” – so much so, that it can be pretty overwhelming come January 1^st. That’s why I’ve been thinking this year about giving “experience” gifts. Classes, tickets, and other fun gifts that will allow the receiver to try something new, make great memories, and have a ton of fun, all without adding any more clutter to their lives.

Thinking about giving someone the gift of a new experience this year? Read on! I’ve put together some suggestions for every type of person on your list!

For the “artsy” type:

For the friend who loves to craft, or an older teenager who is just exploring their artistic side, gift certificates to art classes and workshops will allow them to create their own take-home keepsakes, or give them skills that will last a lifetime.

• AR Workshop or Board & Brush
• The Bees Knees 
• Cake Decorating Classes
• Knitting or crochet lessons at your local yarn shop (I love Have You Any Wool? in Berkley)
• Photography Classes

For the food and drink enthusiast:

From cooking classes for kids to creative cocktails for adults, these gifts are serious palate pleasers.

• Michigan By the Bottle Tasting Room – workshops, wine tastings and other fun events sure to make the biggest wine fan smile!
• Cooking classes – try Sur La Table, Mirepoix Cooking School (at Holiday Market), or Fuel Your Life Cooking School . Check the offerings for each, some children’s classes are available too.
• Winc Wine Club – imagine receiving the gift of wine that arrives on your doorstep every month!
• Saloonbox Cocktail Kit – the budding mixologist on your list will love this one. All the ingredients to make two different craft cocktails, delivered right to their door.

For the couple who already has everything:

If you’ve got a couple on your list, they’d probably love one of these great nights out.

• Gift cards for dinner and a movie.
• Escape the Room
• Theatre tickets from Wayne State University – there are so many great shows to pick from!

For the lifelong learner (or a whole family):

Whether you’re buying for your history-buff uncle, or your sister and her entire family, memberships to the following places will give them countless hours of fun and fascination all year long. And, if a membership is out of your budget, single visit tickets would also make a great gift.

• The Henry Ford 
• Edsel & Eleanor Ford House 
• The Cranbrook Institute of Science 
• The Michigan Science Center 
• The Detroit Zoo

For kids (and kids at heart!):

These gifts are great for kids of all ages, or for grown-ups who would enjoy a little trip back to their childhood. Tuck a couple tickets for one of these gems into a card and you’re sure to make almost anyone happy.

• Trampoline parks like Air Time or Sky Zone 
• Passes to an indoor water park like Zehnders of Frankenmuth would make for a great day trip when the winter blues are in full swing.
• An afternoon of laser tag would be just the ticket to fight holiday break boredom – check out Zap Zone 
• Children’s theater tickets from the Marquis Theatre will introduce kids to a lifelong love of performance art. 

Do you have any favorite “experience” gifts you plan on giving (or hope to get!) this holiday season? I’d love to hear your ideas!

I will be the first one to admit I love babies squishy bums. They are so darn cute! Everything about a naked baby shouts innocence and just plain adorableness. But for some reason whenever I see a picture of one on Facebook or Instagram I feel uneasy. And it took me a while to figure out exactly why. If our number one priority in life as moms (and dads) is to protect our children then why are we putting these pictures out in the world? 

I assume that these pictures are intended for our friends and family to gush over how sweet they are because in all honesty, they are adorable! And, only meant for well-meaning eyes. But with one or two clicks a picture can be saved and spread and you will never get it back for your eyes only. Even if well-meaning parents have profiles set private it is so easy for these sweet innocent pictures to fall into the wrong hands.

I am going to make an educated guess that 99.999% of your ‘friends’ on social media only have good intentions, but what if there is someone in your ‘circle’ that you forgot about? Or they have had a past you didn’t know about? Or even have a few screws loose? I’m just not willing to take that risk. You will never see any of my kid’s adorable butts online.  Their innocence is one thing that I want to hold on to for as long as I can.  

If you know me you know that I post a lot of pictures of my little loves. I love spreading the sweetness of my three kiddos on Detroit Moms Blog, and my own social media and blog. How is that different you might ask? No, I don’t have their permission and, one day if they ask me to stop I will respect that. But for now, it’s a great way for my great aunt in Atlanta to see what they are up to. And my family in Canada to keep up with their school pictures and our adventures to the pumpkin patch. I love that social media has made my connections with family and friends that are far away so simple and easy. Yes, I am aware that someone could also screenshot the picture of my kids in regular clothes and use it for devious purposes, but I just feel like that risk is so much less.

If you do snap bathtub pics of your kids, when do they get too old? When is that baby booty too old to be naked online? Two-years-old? Four-years-old? When does it become inappropriate?

Now, I know that I am going to to get a ton of backlash on this. I am positive that parents have only positive intentions when they do this. I have quite a few friends that post really cute pictures. There is no judgment coming from me. It is only a voice of concern and love.

Am I super jaded? Maybe. Are my mama-bear instincts going into overdrive? Probably. Am I a little overprotective? Absolutely. Am I a little paranoid? Definitely yes. And I’m not going to apologize for it. 

Odds are nothing bad will ever happen to those pictures. Odds are I am totally wrong. And I really hope I am. But this is just one mom doing what I think is best.  

This season, are you spreading holiday cheer and singing loudly for all to hear? Or are you more Green with annoyance at how overly joyful and triumphant all the mall music can be? Maybe, you fall somewhere in the middle on the spectrum. But me? I LOVE the holiday season! Not only am I crazy about Christmas, but I also find enjoyment in the craziness that comes along with it.

Each year I become immensely excited as soon as October hits. Sure, I enjoy Halloween. But, the real reason I get excited for October is simply because we are that much closer to the holiday season. It’s crazy, I know. But, I love it. One of my favorite parts is early planning.

I anxiously await the Toys-R-US, Target, American Girl, and other catalogs to hit my mailbox so I can go through them with my kids. Then, I start my budgeting. Each year, I save what we budgeted the previous year for gifts. This includes grandparents, aunts and uncles, work exchanges, etc. I head to Amazon and start filling up my cart. Crazy . . .  I’m aware.

Most of my gift shopping is done by Thanksgiving with maybe a few odds and ends that need to be grabbed here and there. But, that doesn’t stop us from heading out on Black Friday. We don’t do your normal crazy shopping at 3 am. But, we do try to get great deals on holiday decor from Home Depot and Lowe’s. We come home and decorate that day, rain, snow, or shine. My husband is at his wits end and probably one season away from hiring someone to do it for him.

Although my hubby can be a Grinch at times, I choose to embrace the chaos of the season. My glass is half full and brimming with cheer (and maybe something stronger too). I’m well aware that we will be driving all over the place to see family. But, I’m okay with it. There’s something magical in the air and I love seeing my children feel it too.

To some, the holidays can be very stressful. But for me, I find it so exciting and peaceful. I don’t see people arguing over presents. I see people letting someone cut in front of them in the check-out line. I don’t see a cold and bitterness. I see an opportunity to bundle and cuddle. I don’t see stressful road trips in traffic. I see quality quiet time with family.

I guess it’s all about perspective. This season, you can choose to find stress and annoyance in the holidays or you can choose to enjoy them. It’s just a small reflection on how we can choose to live our lives leading into this new year. We can choose to lead a life that always sees the glass half empty. Or, we can choose a glass that is not just half full, but spilling over with endless opportunity.

While I know I can’t change every green Grinch out there, I will still hold onto hope. I will keep singing loudly (and off tune) for all to hear, spreading my love, positive thinking, and holiday cheer.

We’re drowning in it now. The colors have turned red and green, the lists are made, and we’ve spent a month learning all everyone has to be thankful for. Holiday cheer is everywhere. After all, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. But, while we’re smelling the pumpkin bread bake and hearing the Christmas music play, life is still happening. For us moms, whatever the depth of the reason, it’s impossible to shut it down.

Remember when we were able to just be kids? Remember how alive you felt this time of year — so excited you felt like you could burst? The twinkle of the lights and a trip to visit the man in the red suit were just the prelude to that extraordinary moment of running down the stairs and finding your pile — in your wrapping paper. Do you remember when Christmas truly was magical?

I don’t know about you, but times have changed. I’m exhausted and behind and overwhelmed and dare I admit it, I’m even a little sad. Hearing the lyrics to, “O Come All Ye Faithful,” can make me want to get on my knees and thank God for EVERYTHING, or make me want to curl up in a ball with my blanket and cry in the corner. The holidays are wonderful, but also seem to highlight the hard stuff. I’m not trying to be a downer. I love Christmas. My family and our setting in this dark world can appear Norman Rockwell at times. I aim to never take that for granted.

When I look around though, it’s crystal clear. There’s pain . . . everywhere. Families are planning their big dinner and there’s someone missing from the table, or someone never grew big enough to make it there. Single-moms are working hard day and night to provide the basic necessities, yet have no idea how they will purchase that one toy that will make their child’s smile shine brighter than the sun. The new mom continues to put on a brave face for everyone around her, but cries in the dark because her anxiety is overwhelming. This doesn’t stop in the month of December. This is reality, and real life is hard.

This is the moment in the post where I’m required to list the ways to, “Get through the holidays.” Not me. Not today. I’m here to tell you, I see you. I’m here to remind you that you’re not alone. I’m here to tell you to be where you’re at because that’s OK. Even in December you’re still a person . . . with a giant heart and ever-changing feelings.

I will say, when you’re ready to look for it, there is always gratitude to be found. In your blackest moments, there is something in your life to be thankful for. When those moments come . . . stop. Look around. Ignore the chaos and the hustle and allow yourself the gift of feeling it. Take it in. Be kind to yourself. Get lost in that delicate stretch of time.

This is my second Christmas without my Dad. This is the second time we are making decisions about Christmas dinner. This is another year he isn’t here in his chair next to my mom. This is the second time he won’t sing Away in a Manger with us. And, this is the second year that before the presents are opened, he’s not here to listen to the next grandchild in line read the beloved Christmas Story from The Bible. This breaks my heart.

But, we will still be together. We still have my mom. The violin will play. The kids will laugh. We will have too much to eat. And most importantly, God is still and will always be good. For this, and so much more, I am thankful.

I hope this holiday season you will somehow find the magic, even if it’s just for a little while. Moms are magicians after all. Look at all you do and who you’ve made. You are amazing, mama. Your world IS tough, there’s no denying it.

Good is mixed in. This, I promise you. Without spoiling it for you, I want to remind you of a few things in case you forget to put them on your list: December snowflakes, hot cocoa, all the hugs, warm fires, the bright lights, LOVE, cozy pajamas, family, a child’s anticipation, all the giggles, cookies, online shopping, HOPE, and even, The Grinch. Really, that’s just the beginning.

If none of that intrigues you, try to remember when someone you love is thinking about what they’re thankful for this holiday season, it’s YOU.

What is holding you back from finding the magic this holiday season? What are you thankful for? 

Somewhere along the way, we got sick of sweaters and shoes. Don’t get me wrong, I love both, but all of the sudden they seemed so ordinary. So one Thanksgiving, after a few too many drinks, my three sisters and I decided to do a Pinterest Christmas. The rules were simple: 1) we couldn’t buy gifts, only supplies; 2) we had to make the gifts; and 3) we had to make the same (customized) thing for each sister, and an extra one for our mom.

I logged into my Pinterest account, determined to find the perfect idea. The possibilities were quite literally endless. But also, a bit impossible sounding. Granted, I had four weeks, but I also had two toddlers, a full-time job, and a lot of other Christmas shopping and wrapping to do. For some crazy reason, I decided to make each of them the letters HOME. String wrapped around one, flower-filled for the next and foil decoupage for the youngest. My mom would get a different color of whichever one I liked best. I scurried to JoAnn Fabric and bought all the letters and decorations, so excited with my idea.

Fast forward to December 23. I still hadn’t assembled any letters; in fact, they were still in the shopping bag. I figured it would take an hour per set so I could spend the whole day (besides taking care of the kids) working on them. I either grossly miscalculated the amount of time I spend taking care of my children or vastly underestimated the amount of time it would take to decorate these letters. Armed with a bottle of Captain Morgan, a very grumpy husband and I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning finishing the letters. We were exhausted, but they were PERFECT!

Christmas Eve morning was filled with group text teasers between all of us. Amidst the wrapping and cooking and general child-wrangling, it was clearly evident that we were all so excited to give the gifts we had made. Just like the kids couldn’t wait for Santa to come, I couldn’t wait for my sisters to open their gifts!

When we arrived at my parents’ house, the anticipation was palpable. We continued our teasers throughout dinner and we, the four grown girls, begged my parents to open gifts. Finally, the time had come for the exchange. The creator passed out their gifts for the others to open all at once. Each flurry of unwrapping brought squeals, shrieks and pure, unadulterated joy. The last gift I opened with that much excitement was my original Nintendo in 1986.

We continued the Pinterest Christmas for the next three years. It never lost any anticipation or excitement and I bravely extended it into making cute dinosaur tails for all the kids. Now we’ve each got a collection of homemade home décor, jewelry, Christmas decorations and home essentials. But each comes with a fond memory of silliness, excitement, and smiles, which is better than the physical gift itself.

What non-traditional gifts have you given? Do you hand make any of your gifts?

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, mom’s losing patience by the door. Yuletide carols being screamed by the kids, and folks dressed up like Eskimos . . . only to need to go to the bathroom five minutes later.

Ah, the holiday times! I find there are two camps of people. Those who love the hustle and bustle, and those who hate it. I subscribe to camp one, those who love the holiday times. I’ll start jamming out to Christmas tunes on November 1st and will continue listening until January 1st. If I had anything to say about it, our house would be adorned with Christmas decor October 31st after trick-or-treating, but my husband doesn’t quite share my crazy obsession affinity for the season.

Now, even though I love the holiday season, I still get stressed out. Throughout the years I’ve learned some tips to help me not lose my cool, and thought I’d share them with you! 

One: It’s alright to say no

I have major FOMO. I want to do all.the.things. I want my kids to experience as much as possible. But you know what?  Trying to do everything is way too stressful. And a stressful parent is not a fun parent to be around. Does that cookie decorating play date fall too close to nap time, just say no. Is that holiday party too close to bedtime for the kids? Don’t feel bad if you need to decline. Do you just need a night to Netflix and chill? That is a-O.K. I know that when I overbook myself I get frazzled, my temper is quick to flare up, and I snap too easily. I don’t want my kids’ memories of the holiday times to be those where I am unhappy and angry. 

Two: Social media is only a snapshot

Those adorable family pictures where everyone is laughing in Christmas PJs on the bed or the one of the cute little newborn in a Santa hat with their head in their hands?  That is only one picture of the hundreds taken. I can assure you that many of the other pictures include kids crying, mom giving “the look”, or dad just hanging his head in defeat. Also, more than likely, those amazing pictures were taken by a professional photographer. While I don’t mind sharing the chaos of life on Instagram, I know others work hard to show their best face. And that is totally cool, we just have to remind ourselves that behind every amazing photo, there is a mom(or dad) bribing his or her children.

Three: Ask for help

This can be so hard for me. I am a SAHM, and the family holiday lover, so I often feel I have to do it all. Then I end up staying up all hours of the night decorating cookies, cleaning the house, making a side dish, sewing dresses, the list goes on. That is craziness friends. No one should have to do it alone, and you should not feel bad asking for helping.  Maybe it’s calling your mom and asking her to watch the kids for an hour or so, so you can have a little bit of peace and quiet. Or perhaps it’s asking your significant other to run the vacuum while you put the kids to bed.  Whatever it is, asking for help is not a sign of weakness.  You can only do so much before you burn out. And burn out is no fun.

Four: Things may not go as planned, and that is alright 

So this may be more of a mindset than a tip and, if you ask my husband, this tip would be the pot calling the kettle black. I pretty much live by the plan, so this is a tip I am trying to get better about. I’ve been known to get a tad bent out of shape (and that’s putting it lightly) when things change. You can ask pretty much anyone who knows me, and they will agree, I have a Type A personality. So what do I do when something changes? I start by taking a deep breath, and repeat to myself it’s alright. Then I ask myself if this is something that is life alternating. More than likely no, it is not. Going to bed 30 minutes later is not the end of the world for my two and four year old.  The tree looks like a haphazard mess?  As long as the kids had fun, it will be fine.   

Five: Remember the reason for the season

Sure the hustle and bustle can be fun, but that’s not what it’s all about. Being grateful for what we have, spending quality time with others, spreading joy. That’s what it is all about (at least for me). Maybe that means you invite your neighbors over to visit and have a glass of wine. Perhaps you pay it forward in some way.Or maybe you shut off all social media and watch It’s a Wonderful Life.Whatever is the case for you, be sure to schedule in some time to appreciate each other. 

What about you? Do you have any tips to help you thrive during this busy holiday season?

While we are amid the holiday madness, we are wrapping up our final holiday shopping items. I have a challenging time looking at the crazy posts on social media every year about the craze toy of the season or the undertone competition about what parents are purchasing for their kids. Did we not just say what we are thankful for? Health, happiness, and family?!?! Hey – let’s forget that and start a competition with the highest prized item for our kids.

I learned of a great gift giving trend a few years back that Mike and I have introduced into our family. Instead of the abundance of a million toys, clothes, and, let’s be honest {junk} Vinny doesn’t need, we will get him 4 items: Something to wear, something to read, something he wants, and something he needs. This way all our bases are covered and Christmas gifts don’t go overboard. Our son is blessed by his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and extended family that he will get more than enough from all of them, so Mike and I will keep it tame.

Here are a few examples of the 4 gifts:

1. Something to wear: Is your tot in desperate need of some pants? Is your teen son wearing out his tennis shoes? Now lets not go cray-cray and get a Burberry jacket for your 2yr old or a pair of Gucci shoes for your teen son. Lets reign it in and be realistic. What is a wearable item the child is in need of? We tend to get Vinny items he is low on or growing out of, pants for under the tree and socks in the stocking.  
2. Something to read: This is a wonderful opportunity to add to the book collection! Vinny loves his bedtimes stories. We always are eager to add to the collection. Lets be honest most teens are on their phones reading stories on Facebook, but now is a time to reintroduce reading. You can always purchase their favorite magazine subscription Glamour, Cars/Trucks, GQ (heck we can read them if they don’t).
3. Something they want: This can be the item they are really desiring from the big red-suited guy. However, set limits so that you keep this on a reasonable budget. Christmas is the season of giving but not overextending. Is your teen asking for a new phone because it’s needed or wanted? Does your tot really want that power wheel or do YOU want it to be the cool parent?
4. Something they need: Does your child need a new backpack? This is an item that you know your child needs but didn’t ask for. Now, remember this is NOT an item you THINK they need but more or less an item you KNOW they need. Right now, Mikey and I are relishing in the moment of more reasonable pricing requests. We are adding money to Vinny’s college fund.

The idea to keep things simple is also setting a budget for our holiday shopping. We create a list of people we shop for and then set a budget. We also set a budget for spending on one another. This helps us not get carried away with spending and keeping things within the financial budget. It’s so easy to go overboard if we don’t set a budget before we begin brainstorming ideas for family and friends. The purpose of the holidays is to be surrounded by family and friends and enjoying the company of everyone. Vinny and I love to make cookies, visit target to look at the trees and lights, decorating the house, dancing to Christmas music (hello 100.3 WNIC). We love the holidays!

Let’s remember: the joy on your child’s face seeing lights, trees, and being with their family says more than the money gifts buy!