That’s a wrap for 2017! Now we get a break, right?! Good one!

A mama’s life is crazy. That’s a fact. Responsibility, multi-tasking, stress, and anxiety are some elements that easily encompass the daily life of every mom. It’s a thankless job that often can be overwhelming. So very worth it, but still hard.

We here at Detroit Moms Blog want to get 2018 off to a great start. We ALL know firsthand life is demanding and complicated and challenging. We also know it can be wonderful and rewarding and amazing. Although we all come from our own perspective and our stories are in different chapters, we as a group, have come to the conclusion that we must continue to be a positive force in your non-stop beautiful lives. It is one part of our mission.

Now that 2018 is in full-swing, for myself and for you, I’m thinking about how to approach the day, the month, or even the year (that reminds me of a certain theme song). My eyes always open in the morning with the best of intentions. But, oh my, how quickly it can change. Just ask my husband.

As the New Year begins and we are being pulled from here to there and back again I’d like to give you, the lovely and loyal readers of DMB, five suggestions on how to stay positive in 2018. I am no expert. I have no great psychology sources to cite for you today. I can only speak from my experience, and some of this you may even construe as common sense. But still, we can all benefit from heartfelt reminders.

These are the top 5 ways I believe will encourage you to lead a more positive life this coming year.

Take a break from social media. It’s always there waiting for us. I love it, but it can be a huge distraction and temptation from the good stuff in our own life. For so many reasons (no need to even explain them), there comes a point where you have to shut it down. Social media can suck life and time from you. Like ants at a picnic, we are curiously drawn to what will show up when our screens are refreshed. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always leave us with that warm fuzzy feeling. When you’ve reached the point where you’re ready to start twitching, do yourself a favor and just stop swiping.

Be Kind. You know what does leave you with the warm fuzzy feeling? Kindness. It seems like such a simple concept, but without fail, it feels good. In this world of head-down-chaos, simple acts go far. Make your day, or just a moment, mean something to someone. It doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. Pay it forward. Make that phone call. Offer to reach the top shelf. Say please, thank you, and have a good day. Go out of your way. Be thoughtful.

Search for something to be thankful for. You know that quote, “There is always something to be thankful for.” It’s true. You don’t have to be sitting down ready to eat turkey and mashed potatoes to count your blessings, as you know deep down they really are abundant. Your life could be a complete and utter disaster, but no matter how small, you can always find a diamond in the rough.

Get to your own idea of being organized. For me, this is an important one. I am not saying you need to get out the label maker or hire Molly Maid. But, in theory, your home should not add to the weight of the day. It’s your refuge; your safe place. It should be somewhere you want to settle in, rather than another place you dread. Allowing yourself to decompress in an inviting and comfortable space does wonder for your attitude, your mind, and your heart.

Surround yourself with those that build you up, and do the same for them. This is where common sense comes in. Life is too short. Seek out and embrace the people who nourish, rather than a cloud of toxins. You know who they are. Hold on to them. Appreciate them. Love them. Their instincts are to enhance your life, not break it down. With them in your corner, the idea of focusing on the good might be just a little easier. And of course, return the sentiment.

We desperately need more positivity in our lives. Should we invite it in, it is possible to choose joy, even when everything around us screams not to. Let’s combat this year together mamas and make this world shine a little brighter.

Do you have any thoughts, plans, or suggestions on how to stay positive in 2018?

Natural. It is a buzzword these days. Our food is plastered with ‘All Natural’ labels, our cleaning products, cosmetics, and even our clothing. It is no wonder as moms we can feel pulled in a million directions. Our worth as women when it comes to “natural” childbearing seems to be measured even before conception:

How long did it take us to become pregnant?

Did we need the help of modern medicine?

Were we eating the “right” foods?

Once we get pregnant (if that is the route we take) we are expected to have a natural glow and go on to have a perfectly natural birth; because that is what our bodies are “designed” to do. We then need to breastfeed with no issues; because that’s what our bodies are “supposed” to do. We do all of this without sleep and somehow magically lose the baby weight within weeks. There have been hundreds of articles written on this very topic and brilliant movies made (think ‘Bad Moms’) yet we are still putting an insane amount of pressure on ourselves as women. 

We all have our own personal choices to make when it comes to having and raising children; however, some of those choices come from the pressure that society is putting on us every day. Take the idea that our kids will be harmed in some way if they don’t eat organic homemade baby food. I am all for making baby food if that is what you really want to do. However, if your style is to pick up a Gerber jar off the shelf, the end result is still the same: a fed child.

Or take my friend who is struggling with the decision to either try for a VBAC or schedule her C-Section. She even went as far to label her reasons for wanting to schedule a C-section to be “selfish.” When did it become considered selfish to make a decision that benefits us? When did we start believing that choosing formula over breastfeeding for no reason other than convenience was the worst thing ever? When did we start judging each other for our choices rather than lifting each other up?

Listen, I am not here to argue about scientific benefits of breastfeeding vs. formula, organic vs nonorganic, VBAC vs C-Section. That research is out there and for each person to decide. What I am here to shout from the rooftops is that I hope we can take some pressure off of ourselves. I hope we can realize that decisions that benefit us or make our lives easier are ultimately going to better the lives of our children. The right decisions for us are not the right decisions for everyone. I stopped breastfeeding after 3 months simply because I did not like it. I 100% believe in the benefits of breastmilk but I was miserable. When I stopped it felt like a 100-pound weight was lifted off my shoulders. There is no question this benefited my child and my family. Olivia went on to drink formula for the next 9 months and she is healthy and thriving today. My very dear friend breastfed her daughter until she was 2. It was beautiful and amazing and I am so proud of her for making that decision.

There is no guidebook. Outside of the obvious there really is no “right” way to fumble through this parenting gig. It is a daily game of craps where I am just hoping the dice roll in my favor most of the time.

My body delivered a beautiful baby 8 weeks early. I am not broken.

I struggle with secondary infertility. I am still whole.

I feed Olivia chicken nuggets 50% of the week. It’s called balance.

I work to believe this every day because society wants to tell me something different.

Mamas, we have to be in this together. We can change the world if we join hands and embrace our differences and celebrate when the dice roll in our favor. Whether you delivered by c-section, with or without an epidural, or maybe you adopted, that child still calls you mama. Whether you lost the baby weight or are still holding on to those last 5 pounds, you are beautiful. Whether or not you love every moment of parenting or you lock yourself in the bathroom for some peace, you are doing a good job.

We can reclaim with word natural and redefine it to mean what comes naturally to us, not to someone else.