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From One to Two: Becoming Second String?

By
daniellealexander
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I can’t stop drinking water. My maternity pants are too tight. No matter how much coconut oil I put on, I continuously itch. You’d think that between my swollen ankles and drooping belly (that just so happens to be resting on my thighs while I sit down to write this), I’d be longing for some alone time. Don’t get me wrong: a pedicure or prenatal massage would truly be amazing right now . . .

But, even more than that, when I come home from that hour or two of relaxation, I really just want to be my 2.5-year-old’s go-to, bestie, and “chosen” parent again. It seems I have become the “less desired one” lately, and I’d be lying if I said I am not totally freaking out about it.

“Aww, she’s gonna love her daddy,” many would say when I first shared I was pregnant with a girl, which made complete sense to me. After all, as close as I was and still am with my mom, there was and is always something special about my dad. Up until recently, my daughter has always preferred “Mama” though, even receiving (very early-on) the nickname, “Mommy’s Shadow.” She loves her daddy, but I have always been her “top choice” to sit next to in the back seat, her “favorite” singer, and her “number one” bedtime reader.

But now, out of nowhere, everything is suddenly about him. “Hmmm, where Dada is?” she asks literally every day when I wake her up. Really? Good morning to you, too! “No want Mama! Want Dada come home soon!” she wails when I ask her to remove her wet shoes at the front door. Ha! Don’t even get me started on what I want, Little One. “Mama, Dada make my big girl bed,” she proudly reminds me every night before she sleeps. Oh, yeah? He made your bed? Well, I made you!

OK, OK. I realize I sound completely ridiculous. I blame pregnancy hormones. Her dad really is an amazing guy; I mean, I did, after all, marry the man. But, as exhausting as the role is, being her “first pick” has admittedly, upon a lot of self-reflection, been solidifying (well, in my mind anyway) my life purpose these last couple years.

I’m not a SAHM, but after having my daughter, I found a much more flexible, part-time career, so the majority of our days are spent together, just us. Although I work hard to ensure our time together is packed with quality mommy/daughter moments, it’s difficult to always be solely focused on playing with and teaching her when there is always so much (work-related tasks, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.) that needs to be done. Even when I’m not accomplishing anything on my to-do list, I am unfortunately thinking about it, and I know my daughter, especially the older she gets, recognizes this. My husband, on the other hand, works crazy long hours, yet he is seemingly able to block everything out the moment he pulls into the driveway. And, again, I’m getting the feeling she acknowledges this, too. 

I really can’t blame her though. Who wouldn’t prefer the parent who gives her the most attention? At almost 30, I’m still like that!

As of today, my daughter and I have +/- 3.5 weeks together as the “dynamic duo.” I cannot wait for our little guy to become a part of our family, but, in addition to having major anxiety about experiencing labor again (ugh!), the relationship I have (and will continue to have) with my firstborn seems unable to escape my thoughts lately. And I can’t help but worry that bringing a second child into the mix will only yield more strain.

How did dynamics change between you and your firstborn when the second came along? Share any tips you have to better this transition for both the firstborn and the mama!

“We don’t do mammograms on 24 year olds!”

By
staciecooper
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It has been seven years and I still remember the coldness in her voice. The words were spoken as if I had woken up that morning and thought to myself, well, today seems like a great day to find out what a mammogram feels like. I think I’ll just call up a clinic and see if they can fit me in. Of course, that wasn’t the case. I had discussed the exam with my OB/GYN who had agreed that it was the right time. She had written me a script which led to me making this phone call.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 34. She lost her battle at the age of 36. As with anything in the medical field, when it comes to mammograms, there are different schools of thought when it comes to screening age when you have a family history. After having a conversation with my doctor, we decided to go with the method of subtracting ten years from the age of my mother’s diagnosis for me to start having the exam. I also have a personal history of thyroid cancer, so I thought it wouldn’t hurt to have such a simple test done to start a baseline.

I had no idea it would be such an emotional process to schedule my first mammogram. At the time I was a student in a Radiology program, so I had spent a lot of time in hospital settings and learned a lot about patient care. I’m not sure if my education heightened my awareness of how tactless the receptionist was, but I feel as though anyone else would have felt the same way.

When I called to schedule an appointment, the woman took my name and then asked for my date of birth. There was a pause. A pause that took just long enough for her to do the math. When the words “we don’t do mammograms on 24-year-olds,” spilled out of the phone, I think dumbfounded, astonished, or overwhelmed could have accurately described my reaction. This was not some hole in the wall clinic. This was a leading treatment and research institute. Certainly they had treated patients who were “too young” for a cancer diagnosis.

After an uncomfortable hesitation to gather my thoughts, I had to explain my maternal family history. I was then put on hold, transferred to another person, and then had to go through the entire conversation again. The entire time I just kept thinking, I have a script from my doctor, why is this so difficult? My appointment was finally made. When I showed up for my first mammogram, as expected, I was decades younger than anyone else in the waiting room. Both the receptionist and the mammography tech made comments about my age.

I know my sister and I are not the only women who lost their mother to breast cancer at such a young age. I have also read articles about women in their early twenties who felt something that ended up being cancer. As much as we all wish it wasn’t a reality, it definitely is, and as we all know, early detection is key. I am 31 now and recently had my third mammogram. In my opinion, it isn’t nearly as bad as it’s made out to be. However, I realize I may feel that way because of my history.

With it being the month of October, I know sometimes the pink ribbons and sometimes crude slogans can be a little overwhelming. There are a number of organizations you can donate money to in the name of breast cancer awareness. By all means, do so if you feel obliged. My hope, however, is that you will encourage all the women in your life, who are either old enough or have a strong family history, to get their annual mammogram. If they try to get out of it, offer to make a day out of it. If you need one yourself, make your appointments together, and then reward yourselves with lunch and a massage afterward! If you don’t need one, you can just wait for her in the waiting room. I promise it doesn’t take long at all. 

Do me a favor. When you’re in that waiting room, take a look around. If you see any women who look to be in their twenties or thirties or any who just look nervous or scared, go ask her if she needs a hug. I know I did.

So You’re Having A Boy

By
Lacey Salerno
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I am sure you have heard by now all the stereotypical things regarding how different it is raising a boy than raising a girl, but do you really know what to expect? I was a nanny for both boys and girls of varying ages prior to having kids of my own and thought I knew what was coming my way, but that doesn’t mean that there weren’t a few things that have thrown me for a loop . . .

An early and constant fascination with anatomy:
I think my oldest son found his penis within his first few months of life and hasn’t let go since. Every time I took off his diaper or put him in the bathtub he would seem to have an immediate sense of relief once he had located it and verified that it was still there. As he got older he started to ask questions about it, like “Will it get bigger?” and “Do you have one mommy?” Then came the affirmative statements, like: “I have a hangle in my dangle” and “I don’t have to go to the bathroom mom, I store the pee in my balls.” If you are thinking, “that’s okay, my husband/father/ brother will help in explaining these things” that brings me to my second observation . . .

The other males in your life will unlikely be helpful in discouraging “undesirable” behavior:
I like to classify all of the following as “undesirable” behavior: putting your hand down your pants in public, talking about your privates in mixed company, farting or belching on or at other people (or threatening to do so), talking about or singing about poop, or generally replacing words in songs or phrases with the word poop, telling strangers stories that involve any of the above. I have one brother, one brother-in-law, two nephews, two sons, one God son, and two grandfathers in the mix and NONE of them are helpful in curbing any of this behavior. In fact they all find it endlessly entertaining and generally make it worse. My oldest once tried to fart on me, and my husband‘s attempt at helping was to give him a list of people he is allowed to fart on (see the list of people named above). 


Endless attraction to all things weapons:
EVERYTHING will become a weapon . . . everything. Even if you attempt to limit their exposure to such items, or prevent them from viewing anything that may show these items, it is inevitable so just go with it. They will be inexplicably drawn to all of the following: guns, swords, slingshots, pickaxes, bow and arrows, projectiles of any kind, anything that can be wielded, crafted, or converted into a weapon, anything that looks like a weapon, anything that has a weapon, literally EVERYTHING.

Discussions about things that make absolutely no sense to you:
I try desperately to at least be somewhat knowledgeable about what my kids are into, but after about age 5 they begin to formulate interests that I just can’t understand like Minecraft . . . need I say more?

The unfathomable ability to attract dirt and stains no matter the environment:
If there is dirt, they will find it, if there is an item of food or drink, they will find a way to be covered in it. In addition to being constantly covered in said dirt, and errant food particles, they also sweat in much larger quantities than I had imagined possible. When I give them baths, they continue to smell more like wet little puppy dogs then children. Even once they are fully cleaned and dry they still don’t seem to keep that fresh-kid scent for long before the cycle begins again.
Technical malfunctions:
This past week we had an adventure in what happens when you zip something over your private area and you aren’t wearing underwear (I don’t know why, but boys seldom find the need to wear them). That was definitely not something I had expected, and my husband was no help. Luckily I kept my calm, despite the EPIC freak-out, and was able to unstick the stuck part.

At this point, you may be thinking, “What have I gotten myself into!”, but here is one surprise that has made every second of the above worth it:

The absurd amounts of love and devotion they have for their mommies:

I mean there are times when I literally can’t peel them off of me. They shower me with endless hugs and kisses, pick me flowers wherever they go, and find and collect every treasure under the sun to gift me with. My office is filled with pictures, cards, and scraps of paper with hearts. I hear “I love you mommy” and “you are beautiful” numerous times a day and it melts my heart every time. Even though I am sure they love their dad just as much, you sure wouldn’t know it by their favoring me over him at every turn. So even though life with boys has been filled with surprises, I would not trade a moment of it.

10 Things I Have Learned In 10 Months Of Being A Daddy

By
davelevich
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At times, my life seems to hardly resemble what it was a year ago. Gone are the early morning sales briefings to review quarterly targets or morning workouts with my old gym crew (Side note: Anybody need any slightly used 33″ waist jeans that I doubt I’ll ever fit into again?)

Replacing them are smelly diapers, endless loads of laundry (at times I wonder if half of Oakland county sneaks their dirty clothes into our baskets), learning experiences and more diapers. Here are the Top 10 things I have learned along the way that I would like to pass along to help and encourage other daddies out there:

10. Never yawn while changing a baby boy’s diaper. Actually, never have your mouth open for any period of time for any reason whatsoever. Babies can confuse an open mouth for a bullseye.

9. No, the laundry never ends. Just when you think you’re done, it draws you back in. But be careful not to let laundry back up either! Wearing matching outfits is one thing, but don’t let the laundry inventory get so low that you are running to the laundromat wearing PJ’s and Halloween costumes. No one wants to be mistaken for Hugh Hefner and Casper.

8. One can run errands without a diaper bag, one simply shouldn’t. This is the parenting equivalent of playing Russian Roulette: You may get lucky a once or twice, but the odds will catch up with you eventually and the results will be messy.

7. When picking your baby up from daycare, always check thoroughly that the baby you are packing up is actually your baby. It turns out other parents purchase onesies from the same Carters and Old Navy sales that you do. Try to individualize your baby’s outfits when possible.

6. Sometimes, if you are not very careful, some babies you assumed were boys turn out to be baby girls.

5. Sometimes, even if you are very careful, some babies you assumed were boys turn out to be baby girls.

4. Any day you pick your baby up from daycare and he is in the same onesie that you dropped him off in, is a good day.

3. Remember that 40 week period called “pregnancy” where every syllable that came out of your mouth was the absolute worst thing you could have possibly said to your partner? Well that was actually a prequel to the feature film called “The Rest Of Your Life”

2. Things can escalate from “Bad” to “Worse” very quickly. For example: Forgetting the baby at the restaurant equals “bad”. Not remembering which restaurant you forgot him at equals “worse”

1. No matter how ruggedly tough & masculine you think you are, you will still melt to bubbly ooze every time that cute baby of yours smiles at you and says “Da Da”.

My absolute favorite part of the day is walking into Lil’ G-Man’s room first thing in the morning, seeing the smile of recognition spread ear to ear across his face, hearing that adorable squeak of joy and whisper of “Da Da” escape his mouth.

No sales incentive or personal workout record will ever compete with that. Although, at times, I do miss being able to button those 33″ pants . . .

#metoo … And Probably You Too

By
KatieBeth
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Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve been on Facebook and you’ve seen the swarm of women updating their status with #metoo. Some are sharing personal stories, some are sharing empowering quotes, and some are keeping it short with just the hashtag. But it’s being shared nonetheless. It is outrageous that this even needs to be a movement. But, here we are! The hashtag is being used to show the multitude of women standing together and saying “Me too! I have been the victim of sexual assault and/or harassment. We are not alone!” The number of times I have seen #metoo in the last couple days is haunting. I am included in that group. No, I am one of the lucky ones who has never been raped or sexually abused. But that doesn’t mean I’m not a victim.

#metoo … because you told me I needed to smile less so people would take me seriously.

#metoo … because you walked behind me and told me all the things you wanted to do to my body.

#metoo … because you told me I would be prettier if I lost weight.

#metoo … because we matched on a dating site and you sent me an illicit picture of a body part I won’t mention on this site.

#metoo … because you called me a prude for not sleeping with you on a first date.

#metoo … because you grabbed my breast while we were at the same party.

#metoo … because you told me I wear too much makeup … or not enough makeup.

#metoo … because you offered to give me a “better workout” than the treadmill I was running on.

#metoo … because you asked to speak to the “man of the house, the decision maker.”

#metoo … because you told me I was asking for it by dressing the way I did.

#metoo … because you questioned what I had to do to get that promotion.

#metoo … because you interpreted my kindness as flirting, and refused to take no for an answer

#metoo … because when I finally found the courage to speak up about any of these situations, you told me, “that’s just what guys do” and “that’s what you get.”

#metoo … because of SO many other experiences that myself and a countless amount of other women have suffered through. And that’s the perfect adjective for it … we “suffered” through it. Time and time again. We suffer. But this has got to STOP! Stop justifying and excusing sexual abuse and harassment! Stop blaming the victims. For the love of all that is good, please stop saying “boys will be boys” or “it’s locker room talk.” Just stop.

We have to start believing when women have the courage to voice their injustices. We have to start standing together. We have to start demanding change. Not just for us, but for our children. My female friends have been hesitant to share a #metoo because they didn’t think they’ve ever been a victim. Until they are shown all the different ways that society has just accepted sexual abuse and harassment as the norm. My men friends are in the dark because they don’t think sexual abuse and harassment is prevalent in our society. Until they started seeing all the women in their lives standing up and saying #metoo. A friend of mine said, “women don’t know a world where we aren’t harassed.” I was left speechless by how accurate those words are. But now I say NO MORE! We will be victims no more! It’s time we stand together and fight for society to change what is “normal.”

Moms Night Out:: A Bad Moms Christmas

By
aubreymoon
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Save the date. Book your sitter. Grab your girlfriends.
This is a Moms Night Out you don’t want to miss!

 

 

Start the holiday season with a good laugh:: Join the contributors of Detroit Moms Blog for an exclusive, moms-only screening of A Bad Moms Christmas! If you loved the original 2016 hit, you’re sure to enjoy the sequel with your best girls by your side. You deserve a night out, and what better way than kicking up your feet in Emagine’s luxurious seating? Plus, you can have dinner and drinks delivered right to your seat so you won’t have to miss any of the movie. If you want to make it a full night out, stick around after the show for some bowling at Star Lanes or dinner at The Grille Restaurant. Emagine isn’t your average movie theater but don’t take our word for it; Experience it with us!

 

Who:: Moms in + around Detroit

What:: A Bad Moms Christmas movie party

Where:: Emagine Royal Oak
200 N. Main St, Royal Oak, MI 48067

When:: Saturday, November 4th, 7PM 

Why:: You deserve a night out, trust us!

 

What ticket is calling your name?::

  • “The Good” ($17):: Includes movie ticket
  • “The Bad” ($20):: Includes movie ticket, popcorn & pop
  • “The Ugly” ($26):: Includes movie ticket, popcorn, choice of pop/house wine or beer

 

Tickets are ON SALE now!

 

WANT TO SEE YOUR BUSINESS HIGHLIGHTED AT THIS EVENT?

Email us at [email protected]!

**Ticket sales are final. No refunds will be given; However, tickets may be transferred to another party up until noon on the day of the event. No persons 15 years of age or younger are allowed inside the premises after 6PM unless accompanied by a parent or adult guardian. Additionally, no one is allowed into an auditorium 15 minutes after the show start time.**

 

You Can’t Play With US! Is My Daughter A Mean Girl?

By
Meghan Simonie
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Working full-time outside the house, we have been very fortunate to have family around to help with child care. However, because of that, my children have not had a ton of regular exposure socially to other children. We decided in the Fall of last year to enroll my daughter in nursery school. She would only attend 2 days a week, but full days.

It started out great. After a few weeks, there were some rough drop offs, but she started to make some friends. She made one very close friend in particular. So much so that this one friend and my daughter became almost inseparable. It started off pretty cute. The teachers found it funny that they had the same hair so it was almost impossible to tell who was who from behind.

Later in the school year, my daughter’s teacher mentioned in passing that they had to separate the girls a few times because they wouldn’t let other girls play with them. It caused me to pause.

“Wait. What do you mean they wouldn’t let other girls play with them?” I think I was still in disbelief that my daughter was the mean, excluding, ‘can’t sit with us’ girl.

Her teacher explained that they were playing with dolls and did not want another girl to be included in their play. She told me not to worry too much about it, this can be normal, and they handled it appropriately between the girls. 

I thanked the teacher for mentioning this to me because this was something I wanted to discuss with my daughter. I was never directly the victim of bullying when I was younger, but I saw it happen. I tried to be the person that went out of my way to be nice to the person that was bullied. I felt for them. Sure, I can be outgoing but I reserved that until I felt comfortable. So, I felt so bad for those people that never felt comfortable in any situation.

I would never have thought my sweet, innocent, warm, smiley girl would ever be considered a mean girl. I was busy over here worrying about one day having to wipe her tears away because girls can be so mean. That day will probably still come. But, I never thought I would have to worry about teaching this lesson so soon to my 3 year old.

My daughter and I sat down that night at the dinner table and I asked her about the situation. I could tell from her reaction that she was disappointed I knew about it. The only thing I could think to do instead of scolding her was to make her understand. I wanted her to understand the hurt of bullying.

I asked her if she would have liked to be the one left out and told she couldn’t play with a toy or friends she wanted to play with. She acknowledged that it would have made her sad and she may have cried. I explained to her the importance of not making others feel that way. I explained that no one really wants to be sad and everyone really just wants to feel included and have friends.

Preventing bullying from happening entirely is wishful thinking. I know my daughter will encounter this again. Did I think that I was going to have this conversation with her at just 3-years-old? No. Did I think my daughter was going to be the one being the mean girl? Definitely not. Have I started searching her room for evidence of a Burn Book? Well . . . not yet. But, I’m glad it happened now. It gave me the opportunity to use it as a teaching tool. Everything is a learning experience for her right now. I have the ability as her mother to lead her down the right path to treating people the right way.  

Steps for Choosing a Gender Appropriate Costume

By
Danielle S
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The leaves are changing color, football is on TV, and pumpkin spice is everywhere. That can only mean one thing, fall is here, and with it comes Halloween costumes. I wanted to share steps you can take to make sure it’s gender appropriate.

Step one: Have a child.
Step two: Realize there is no such thing as a gender appropriate costume.
Step three: Let your kid be what they want.

And, you’re done. That’s it. Those are the only steps. Seriously, I can’t believe we are still having conversations like this in 2017. I consider myself conservative in most aspects of life, but I just shake my head at the fact that kids can’t wear what they like in general, especially when it comes time to dress up for Halloween.

As a mom of two girls, I understand that I have it a bit easier if my daughters decide to step outside of gender stereotypical costumes, which hasn’t happened yet. Last year my oldest decided she wanted to be Cinderella, and I was happy to make her a costume.

As Halloween approached my daughter got more and more excited about being Cinderella. I also began seeing articles/blog posts where people talked about not wanting their daughter to be a princess. Trying to convince their daughter to be something “stronger.” As if liking princesses was wrong. Girls who chose to be something else were praised and celebrated. The posts discussed how princesses are dumb, and not real life. Last time I checked, movies with talking animals are fantasy (but then again, so are movies about superheroes that can fly). Just like we shouldn’t be telling a boy he can’t be a princess, why tell a girl she needs to choose something different?

Then there’s the other side of the story. The kids who do step outside gender stereotypes. So your daughter wants to be Spiderman? That’s great! Maybe she loves how he shoots spider webs from his wrists and helps get the bad people. Don’t try to convince them to be the sparkly pink Spidergirl or some other “girl” costume. Share in her excitement and embrace the fun she is having using her imagination.

And then the situation people seem to lose their minds most over. Boys as princesses. Girls are praised for dressing outside of gender norms, but when a boy does it, people get mad. I honestly don’t understand why it’s an issue. What’s so scary about the idea of a boy pretending to be a princess? So your boy wants to be Elsa or Belle? That’s awesome! Perhaps they think Elsa’s ice powers are pretty awesome. Or maybe they love that Belle loves to read. They might love the sparkly the dress and want a chance to wear it and spin in it. It really doesn’t matter the reason. What should matter is that it is the costume that your son choose. Rather than make him feel bad about his choice by convincing him to be something else, buy the princess dress. See the joy he gets wearing it.

Last I checked Halloween was all about fun, pretending and letting children express themselves. If you want to talk about how gender roles are changing, those conversations should be happening all the time throughout the year, and not be confined to Halloween. Let’s stop praising or discouraging our children’s costume choice and just support them.

Seven Unique Gifts for New Moms

By
aubreymoon
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Shortly after my second son was born, family and friends reached out to me asking what we could use since we already had ample baby boy clothes. While it’s a somewhat uncomfortable question to answer (what childbearing-age adult actually *asks* for particular things outside of a registry), it’s appreciated by gift givers.

Buying for a new baby can be a challenge:

What do they actually need?
In what size do you buy it?
Do they already have something similar?

Talk about exhausting, especially for those that aren’t parents themselves. Alas, here I am to help!

Gifting unique items is something that’s fun for me; And although I may not always be the most successful in the unique category (#momlife), I’m hoping this list of super great gifts will earn me some points in helping others do so. In no particular order:

The “Baby Shusher”

There’s nothing more frustrating when you’re in public and can’t soothe your baby or when your mouth is completely dried out from “shushing” for 20 minutes straight. Enter the Baby Shusher. This product, developed by two parents in dire need of relief from their crying baby, features a doctor-approved technique of loud, rhythmic shushing noises that help to soothe baby and “end their crying spell quickly and easily.” 

Seriously, it works. Buy it HERE.

Bitten Mitten Swaddle Blanket and/or Teether

If your friend is a born & raised Michigander, she’s surely got some home state pride. And while she likely registered for receiving blankets, there’s nothing better than a muslin swaddle to keep that new baby all snugged in tight. The Bitten Mitten is a Michigan-made company with cute products that are perfect for any baby boy or girl. Plus: they offer a teether for both Spartan and Wolverine fans alike (Go Green!)

Buy it HERE.

“Boobie Bars”

This is a delicious gift for any breastfeeding mom out there looking to boost her supply with nutritious ingredients. Boobie Bars come in three flavors (blueberry coconut, oatmeal chocolate chip, and gluten-free peanut butter) to please any palate. While it’s a little pricey for six bars, they are proven to work.

Buy it HERE.

Calmoseptine

Every mom will inevitably be faced with diaper rash, but with so many “butt” creams on the market, how do you know which one is right for baby? Calmoseptine has been used by my family for nearly 30 years, with my grandma and mom claiming that it works better than any other baby-specific ointments out there. It’s great because it’s not just made for babies; Calmoseptine can be used on adults with skin irritations from medical conditions, wounds, burns, cuts, ulcers, bites, Poison Ivy, Eczema, and Psoriasis, to name a few. 

Buy it HERE. (Psst… It’s also now available at Costco for just $4.79; Just head to the pharmacy. You’re welcome!)

Dapple Soap

Have you ever tried to clean a bottle only to find yourself frustrated because you can’t get the fatty film off of the sides? This soap wasn’t around for my first son but has been a saving grace so far for number two. Dapple is made from plant-based ingredients and doesn’t contain any harmful chemicals or dyes. Their product line focuses on three important segments for parents: dishes, laundry, and surfaces. It’s another product made by moms for moms.

Buy it HERE.

Milk-Saver

There’s nothing worse than losing any amount of that liquid gold. Fortunately, Milkies is here to save the day (literally) with their Milk-Saver. When your new mom is nursing or pumping from one side, she wears the Milk-Saver on the opposite to catch any leakage from let-down so it doesn’t go to waste in a nursing pad. 

Buy it HERE.

Gift Cards

Still stumped? Gift cards are always appreciated so the new mom can purchase whatever she needs, whenever she needs it. Maybe it’s diapers, maybe it’s a new toy; The options are endless. If you’re looking to spend a little extra ($99), an Amazon Prime membership covers everything she could need for a year and gives her FREE two-day shipping.

Thinking outside the box can be a challenge when deciding on a gift for the new mom in your life. Remember, no gift is too small when she can see the time and effort put into it. When all else fails, give her a coupon that can be redeemed for a free night of babysitting. That’s one she’s sure to enjoy! 

What’s the best gift you’ve received as a new mom?

“But do I look like a MOM?”

By
Nikki Mattison
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Owning a women’s clothing boutique, I’ve heard it all when it comes to women commenting on their bodies. But the one that gets to me most? When ladies emerge from the fitting room, slightly slumped over, make some type of twisted face and ask, ” Does this make me look like a MOM?” Wait.  Like a who? Like me? Like you?  Say what now?

You, me, your neighbors, your doctor, Beyoncé . . . all moms.  All different. All amazing. So why, when it comes to fashion, are we using “look like a mom” as a put-down?  

Maybe we’re picturing the 90’s mom with feathered hair and blue eyeshadow? Maybe we’re referring to the classic 2000-whatever Mom Prototype with her leggings, a dirty top knot, and her Uggs? Maybe we’re even thinking of our own moms and their fashion no-no’s.

It makes me think the same thing each time, what’s a Mom Look and why are so many fitting room renegades using this exact phrase in a real bummer of a way? I know that women, in general, tend to be critical of our appearance (no newsflash here), and even more so of those post-baby curves that some of us struggle to get used to. But of all the common customer musings, this one always strikes a chord with me and makes those little baby hairs I lost from pregnancy (you too?) stand up. 

I know moms who are fashionable, fit in workouts so they can still rock their super skinny jeans, and take the extra minutes in a day getting their look together.  I also know moms who prefer to squeeze in another cup of coffee instead of perusing their closet and can’t remember the last time they wore anything besides a sneaker. I fall somewhere in between these two myself, I get it. That balance of dressed up and dressed period, that’s real life.   

Maybe we’re afraid that by not looking like our pre-mom self, we now look like an old and frumpy version of yourself. That’s fake news! There are so many choices in between what you wore dancing in college and your time-of-the-month sweatpants. Being a mom has changed my style and I’m sure it’s hit yours, too.  No longer just guided by my desire to be fashionable, I now pair that idea with another favorite F word: function (function, what were YOU thinking). Does it make me feel cute and can I chase little people? Yep, then it’s a win. I haven’t given up on style, but I need to wear clothing that fits my new life and I’m still having fun with it. Moms all parent differently, speak differently and for sure dress differently. The expression “looking like a mom” just doesn’t accurately express us.

So, let’s cut that outdated stereotype of looking like a mom right out of our mind. It’s an unfair and untrue generalization. “Looking like a mom” should mean being confident,  a warrior, and a bad mama jama provider of life and goldfish crackers. It doesn’t mean you’re unfashionable, or outdated or (gasp) . . . old! Let’s stop perpetuating this annoying phrase that when broken down translates to “look like a bum”. We all look like moms, we ARE moms, and that’s not a bad thing. We’re loving, funny, successful, sexy hot mamas and if I’m in that category I’m okay with that! Let’s be kind to ourselves, our sisters and friends and think of “looking like a mom” as the highest compliment of all. 

Have you used the phrase, “I look like a mom before”?  What does it mean to you? What’s your favorite classic “Mom Look”?

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