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50 Signs You’re a Detroit Parent

If you’re a parent in the metro-Detroit area, you might find yourself doing things a bit differently than your mommy friends from around the country. Our contributors had a lot of fun putting together this list and brainstorming what makes parenting in Detroit so unique.  We’re excited to bring you with…

50 Signs You’re a Detroit Parent

      1. Your child owned at least one onesie with an old-english D on it, before they were even born.
      2. You know the only true kid-friendly restaurant is a Coney Island.
      3. Speaking of Coney Islands, coney dogs are your biggest pregnancy craving.
      4. You go “Up North” for family vacations.  And by “Up North,” you mean anywhere 60 miles outside of the metro-Detroit area (even if it’s not north).
      5. You buy Halloween costumes a size bigger, so they can accommodate a snowsuit.
      6. You know that Vernors is the only cure for a bellyache.
      7. Your babies were born bleeding either green+white or maize+blue.
      8. Your family only buys cars from the Big 3 (and you always find a way to get the employee discount!)
      9. Your kids order “pop” when you go out to eat. And you would be horrified if they called it “soda.”
      10. Fat Tuesday is a real holiday and the only way to celebrate is with Paczkis.
      11. “Hot ‘n’ Ready” only has one meaning to your kids: pizza!
      12. You make sure birthday parties are stocked with the essentials: Faygo, Better Made chips, and Sander’s Bumpy Cake.
      13. Your kids can pronounce Mackinac, Hamtramck, and Schoenherr perfectly.
      14. You don’t know what’s worse: being pregnant for a Michigan winter or being pregnant for a Michigan summer.
      15. You buy your kids “tennis shoes”. . . never sneakers. Whether they play tennis or not.
      16. You wish your kids had a chance to go to a game at “old” Tiger Stadium.
      17. You worry about how much of Eminem’s rapping your child has been exposed to (I mean, c’mon 95.5, there are other artists out there!)
      18. It’s no big deal to take your kids to Canada for the day.
      19. Your kids grow up referring to distance as measures of time, never miles. They’ll also learn that anywhere you want to go is “just 30 minutes away.”
      20. You’ve had a swimsuit and snowsuit in your diaper bag at the same time.
      21. You know there are realistically about 3 months throughout the whole year when you can pack away the boots and snow pants.
      22. Allowance is earned by returning bottles and cans.
      23. You have a favorite city on the Lake Michigan shore to visit.
      24. The best day trips are to Cedar Point and Frankenmuth.
      25. You say “it’s not even cold” if the temperature is anywhere above 40 degrees.
      26. It is totally normal for your kids to show out-of-towners where they live by pointing to their hand.
      27. You did a happy dance when Comerica Park announced it officially had a nursing/toddler room.
      28. Your kid’s first teddy was a Lion or a Tiger . . . not a bear.
      29. Your kids can’t go to Meijer without riding Sandy.
      30. You complain every year when stores begin selling swimsuits in January.
      31. While on road trips to other cities, you’ve had to explain to your kids that there aren’t Tim Hortons everywhere.
      32. Your kids are obsessed with everything construction, because “construction season” in Detroit never ends!
      33. You’ve been to birthday parties at Jungle Java and Detroit Kid City.
      34. You’re guilty of taking your baby into a craft brewery.
      35. You take your kids to Olga’s and Big Boy because those were your favorite childhood restaurants. 
      36. You have a favorite apple orchard that you return to every September.
      37. You allow your kids to wear shorts to school once it hits 50 degrees.
      38. When you pack away the winter clothes for summer, you keep some fleece jackets and pajamas out just in case

You have a picture of your child…

39. fist bumping Joe Lewis

40. standing next to Paws

41. eating a coney dog

42. wearing a Tigers jersey

43. at Eastern Market

44. peeking out of the prairie dog hole at the zoo

45. in front of the Weinermobile at Henry Ford Museum

46. swimming in Lake Michigan

47. drinking a Biggby coffee

48. riding Sandy at Meijer

49. eating square pizza

50. in front of the Diego Rivera mural at the DIA

Detroit Parents

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, It’s Back to Work I Go!

This morning, I kissed my husband and son goodbye at 7:45 a.m. I checked my phone for a bit with no guilt and ate breakfast in a clean, quiet house. Then I leisurely got into my car (with a shoulder bag in place of a diaper bag and no fiddling with the car seat), turned up the music, and drove across town to my favorite coffee shop. “Are you heading to work?” the barista asked, to which I excitedly responded, “I AM!” Who could be that excited to go to a meeting (especially before caffeine)? A former stay-at-home mom recently turned part-time-working mom, that’s who.

I’m only a month into this new gig, and I know it won’t always feel so exciting and idyllic. I cried the first morning my son left for school. That clean, quiet house I mentioned earlier felt sterile and lonely. I think of him often while I’m away and wonder what he’s doing. I had a real moment of doubt as I was driving in on my first day back. “Why am I doing this?” I asked myself, as the new-job anxiety started to surface. Starting something new is hard. Being away from your child is hard. But so many hard things are worth it.

To answer my own question, I’m doing this because I’m passionate about my job. Being a social worker is part of my identity – a part that hasn’t been as salient over these past few years, but a part that makes me me. There are moments in my work that are sad and stressful and draining, but there is also so much hope and a sense of purpose. It feels good to be connected to that again and to play a role in the world outside my family.

Before I go further, let me acknowledge that my situation is unique and I feel incredibly lucky that my circumstances have worked out this way. I was able to stay home with my son for the first year and a half of his life, and now I’m able to work part-time in a job that I love. I chose to go back, and I was ready. I didn’t deal with having to be presentable after weeks (months) of sleepless newborn nights, or have to develop an intimate relationship with my breast pump. I know this isn’t true of everyone’s experience and that there aren’t enough supports in place for most parents, particularly early on in their children’s lives. I could go on, but that’s a post for another day.

Not only was the timing right for me, but my son was ready for this step, too. I think of the quote framed in his bedroom: “There are two gifts we give our children; one is roots, and the other is wings.” I’m good at the roots part. The nurturing and the closeness come easily to me. But my sweet, chubby baby is transforming before my eyes into an increasingly independent and determined toddler who is only beginning to stretch his wings. Last week when I went into his classroom to pick him up, I paused for a minute in the doorway unannounced to watch how he was doing. There he was, sitting quietly in Circle Time with the other children, attentively listening to a story, and it hit me: he’s ready for this. I love seeing the art projects he brings home and hearing his teachers tell me about a new skill he has developed or how interested he is in learning. Aside from the ego boost (because let’s be real, don’t we all love to hear about how wonderful our children are?), it’s reassuring to know that there are more people who care for him and that he’s beginning to care for, too.

And lastly, it brings me a lot of pride to know my son will grow up watching me do what I love and have something that is my own. Remember the roots and wings quote? After eighteen months of strengthening roots, now my son can see his mama working on her wings. 

Introducing Nikki Mattison: A Plymouth Mom

Introducing Nikki!

:: Down with Detroit ::

I like to say I live, work and play in downtown Plymouth. My town is a big piece of my heart. Growing up here, there was no doubt this is where I would eventually raise a family. A walkable downtown with Friday Night Concerts, plenty of patios for happy hours with friends, and cool independent shops are what makes our small town experience complete. I love that if I’m running into Westborne Market or sweating through a Pilates class with my friends at Core Sport Pilates Fitness Studio, I’ll run into someone I know. That sense of community makes me happy.

We also love heading to Detroit to enjoy what the bigger city can offer. It seems like there’s a new “must eat” spot every week and we’re trying to keep up and visit them all. I’m a big theater fan so I lure my husband to a show at the Fisher Theatre or the Fox Theatre a few times a year. I also pretend to like baseball at Comerica Park when I’m clearly just there for the nachos and beer. We really enjoy the varied experiences that Detroit can offer and it’s exciting to see it changing so much in the last few years. I’m proud to spend my time and money downtown helping the city grow and embarking on new adventures.

:: My Life ::

My incredible husband of 7 years is my biggest cheerleader and the anchor that keeps me on the ground. We met at the bar (yep) on St. Patrick’s Day just as I was graduating college, and I knew right then and there that he was the one. There was just something really familiar and steady about this stranger standing in front of me and I was hooked. This whole scenario could have also been influenced by the green beer and bumping music, but all these years later and we’re still going strong. We’re really different in the best ways, and I firmly believe that opposites attract and it takes our personal strengths to make it all work.

 

I’ve owned Madison Boutique in downtown Plymouth for just over 4 years. I get really excited about helping women select clothing that makes them feel confident. Clothes that fit well and speak to your personal style can completely change our outlook. As moms, style can often take a back seat (to oh I don’t know, trying to keep these tiny humans alive), but I know that we can do our best job as moms and still feel and look put-together. Through my writing for the Detroit Mom Bloggers, I’ll expand on topics just like this and share my tips and experiences . . . stay tuned!

I love to get lost in a good story whether from a book, a movie or a TV show. When I find a little free time I like to read anything by Jane Green or Jennifer Weiner. Give me a cheesy small town girl in the city who finds unexpected love any day. I also watch all the odd series on TLC (Sister Wives is my favorite guilty pleasure) and my Comcast bill bleeds from all the movies I purchase on demand. Living a life through someone else’s eyes for a few hours is my most favorite thing to do.

:: Babies and Beyond ::

We have a fun and spirited almost two year old daughter, Mackenzie. She’s a Minnie Mouse nut, Gogurt enthusiast and makes us laugh every single day. At not even two, she’s already calling me “Nikki” so yeah, we’re in for a crazy ride. She’s the biggest joy in my life, and the piece I never knew I was missing.  It’s so hard to put into words what I would have missed out on without her.  

I’m really thrilled to join the Detroit Mom Blog as a contributor. I’m excited to share my experience and relate to readers and fellow moms with this collection of writers. Being a mom is the toughest job I’ve ever had, and I know we’d all say it’s worth it. From the second I found out we were pregnant (planned, but for some reason I was still totally shocked), I’ve been pushed outside of my comfort zone and challenged in the most beautiful ways.   I really strive to find my own way to navigate this adventure, and I hope I can be helpful to others along the way.

I look forward to connecting with you! 

Swimsuit Shopping for a Mom Bod

I’m not going to lie to you . . .  I can’t say I’ve ever really loved swimsuit shopping. Unless you count the hours I’ve spent scrolling through swimsuits “oohing” and “ahing” at all the cute suits out there, and thinking to myself, “maybe this would look good.” That’s until your dreams are crushed during try-on time, and it looks nothing like what you imagined or saw in the pictures. I can’t be the only one that thinks to myself after a try-on fest, “I really thought this one was going to work out.”

Can’t we all feel this cute and sassy in our suit?

Let’s be real. I’ve never really had the perfect bod. I’ve always been a “smidge” over that god awful BMI number, and yes, ladies, I was built with curves and junk in the trunk. Two babies later and an extra pound here, and some mom bod there, I can’t say shopping for a swimsuit has brought me any more joy or luck. SWIMSUIT SHOPPING SUCKS!

Mom life at the lake – always covered in sand and kids!

This year, I decided to get a head start on the process because well, I don’t have a ton of time without little munchkins, and I had some events coming up, and a good swimsuit was necessary. I decided to test out my options before I ran out of time, and like usual, was running to the nearest store to find something that made me feel less than great.

Flash forward to a few mail returns and one shopping trip later, and I finally found a swimsuit I really liked. It got me thinking: I can’t be the only woman that feels completely at a loss when searching for a good suit. I’m no expert, but I thought I’d share what finally worked for me, and gave me the confidence and excitement to go on my girls’ trip, and wear a suit that doesn’t make me feel like a “mom.” So here are my tips for swimsuit shopping for a mom bod:

  • Do your homework: There’s tons of information out there on what looks good for your body type – look at them. Take some screen shots, or pin to your private Pinterest board styles you like for your body type.
  • Shop online: Most moms don’t have time to go to stores, especially for suit shopping. Let’s also be real, I hate the mirrors anywhere, but at least at home, you can serve yourself a glass of wine to ease the frustration. There’s a lot of stores that offer free shipping. Yes, you must pony up some coin to get a few options sent, but YOU CAN RETURN ALL OF THEM.
  • Try a personal shopping service: I tried Trunk Club and although, I didn’t get my final swimsuit from them, they sent a ton of swimsuits options based on my preferences and body. You can even tell them how much you’re comfortable buying.
  • Grab a bigger size: Most of us want to be a size smaller than we are, but mama, who really cares what the tag says if it fits you better. If ordering online, find a style you really like and order it in two sizes.
  • Go by yourself: If you have to run out to a store, go without your kids. We all know they don’t care what you look like in a suit (because they love you no matter what), and they’ll prove it by having less patience than usual, and will open the changing room door on you twenty times.
  • Go to the experts: I finally went to the swim suit store, Everything But Water. I told them what I was looking for, some of the “issues” I was having, and they zoomed through the store, pulling different styles and colors for me to try. I never even had to leave the changing room!
  • Go with your gut (ha, pun no intended, I think!) If you’ve never worn one pieces, and you feel worse in one, stick to what you like. I’ve never looked good in a one piece – EVER. Not even on swim team in high school. So why did I think just because I’m a mom, I should have to wear one?
  • BE NICE TO YOURSELF! We all have flaws that we want to hide, but you’re your biggest critic. We all want to resemble the swimsuit model we saw online, but most of us don’t and THAT’S OKAY. What really matters is that you’re splashing around with your kids at the pool, and enjoying yourself. And if you’re not with your kids, and enjoying a kid-less weekend, know you’ll be on a beach chair that’s in lounge mode, and we all know that does wonders for the mom tummy!
Your kids love you no matter what! They just love playing with you.

So there you have it! Like I said, I’m not an expert by any means, but hopefully, this lets you know you aren’t alone. We all put on a good face in front of our daughters (and sons) – “It’s what’s inside that matters” etc., etc. But sometimes we’re also human and we have mom moment where we just don’t feel great about how we look in the mirror. You aren’t alone, but treat yourself how you’d treat your daughter. Give yourself a little pep talk before you wiggle into your swimsuit. AND DON’T FORGET THE GLASS OF WINE – everything is a little easier to tolerate with a glass of your ol’ buddy next to you.

Introducing Lindsey: A Huntington Woods Mom

Introducing Lindsey!

:: Down with Detroit ::

Hi everyone! I’m Lindsey and I am new to Detroit. I moved here in August from Nashville with my husband, daughter Eleanor (16 months) and our two rescue cats Millie and Marty (our other babies!) We live in Huntington Woods and love the neighborhood. I’m from Denver originally but went to college in NYC where I met my husband, who grew up here. Over the past ten years I’ve spent time in Michigan, but am really getting a chance to know Detroit now that we live here. Although we’ve only lived here a relatively short time, we already have a few favorite hangs, and they mostly involve eating (we love food).

If it’s Friday night, we’re probably ordering Amici’s pizza in Berkley, or if we are feeling brave we will take our daughter there for an Early Bird dinner, they’re super kid-friendly. I’m vegan and Phil and Eleanor are vegetarian and Amici’s has delicious options for us all. As former New Yorkers we take pizza pretty seriously, and Amici’s meets our strict pizza guidelines. We also love Anita’s Kitchen and Green Space Cafe, great date night space, in Ferndale.

If we’re feeling stir crazy during the Michigan winter we love Detroit Kid City. My daughter can play to her heart’s content, and I can enjoy a vegan-friendly latte and cookie. We also love the library for rainy days where we play and take home a good book to enjoy before bedtime. If we’re feeling up for it, we love exploring downtown, grabbing a meal at Seva and desert at Avalon bakery, while also browsing the shops in Midtown. We’re looking forward to warmer weather and getting to know our new city even better

:: My Life ::

I am mostly home with Eleanor these days, but teach family yoga and music and do some early childhood consulting for parents and schools on occasion. I have taught pre-k through first grade and am certified to teach yoga as well. I love teaching and all things education related. It’s been really fun having my own little one and seeing her learn and grow every day.

Our sweet little skunk!

I love cooking and baking, but have had to adapt to simpler recipes now that I have a toddler assisting me. I also love to read and take in a yoga class when I can. My Bachelor’s degree is in Musical Theater, and I still secretly dream of starring on Broadway and am constantly singing and listening to show tunes. Having the Fisher Theatre nearby is a tremendous perk.

Being a crazy cat lady is another huge part of who I am and I am passionate about advocating for rescuing and adopting. It’s so important to me that my child develop a love and respect for animals and be part of their care taking. Our lives would not be nearly as full without our beloved indoor kitties, they provide our family with so much love and entertainment.

Marty and Millie!

:: Babies & Beyond ::

We noticed shortly after our daughter’s birth in the fall of 2015 that she had FOMO (Fear of Missing Out, aka Colic) which first presented itself as a refusal to sleep or be put down the first three months of her life. I’ve always been a yogi and decided to try a Mama Baby yoga class when she was three months old and was immediately hooked. Being in yoga class was the only time other than nursing that she and I were both at peace, and it quickly became our favorite outing together.

Must have tools for a colicky baby: the Boba Wrap, the sound of the vacuum and WINE

We found a great routine and community at our yoga studio in Nashville, and when we decided to move to Detroit I was so sad to leave it behind. As you can imagine, we were at Honey for class as soon as their Ferndale location opened. Honey and its owner and founder, Brooke, welcomed us with open arms from our very first day and has been an amazing space for us. Full disclosure: I love it so much I am now a teacher there!

Our experiences at Honey and at our local story-time and music class as well as having wonderful neighbors have helped us create a community and routine in our new home town, and we’ve made some amazing friends in our short time in Michigan

Today, my daughter is the friendliest toddler on the block, and gives a huge smile and says “HI!” to everyone she meets, everywhere. She’s chatty and precocious and constantly makes my “teacher heart” proud with her love of reading and books as well as her overall eagerness to learn and discover the world around her. Parenting isn’t always easy and we have our challenging moments, but she truly delights my husband and I every day. We couldn’t ask for a better little person to complete our family, and I’m excited to share our experiences as a parent, as well as my perspective and knowledge as an Early Childhood Educator with you on Detroit Mom’s Blog.

Coming to Terms with My C-Section

April is Cesarean Section Awareness Month, Danielle is sharing her perspective as a mom who has had two c-section births. 

As most of us know, the Mommy Wars are a real thing, and start way before you even hold your bundle of joy in your arms. From how you conceive your child, to what you eat or drink during pregnancy, more than likely someone is judging you. Another way we judge each other is how we bring our children into the world. It seems that people don’t even try to understand why you birthed a certain way. They would rather call you out for being “wrong” than take the time to listen to your situation. It’s a sad fact, but unfortunately it is true.

Both of my daughters were born via a c-section. I was going to give a brief birth story for each of my daughters, explaining how we ended up with c-sections, but decided against it. The whole point of this post is about me coming to terms with having c-section, and perhaps trying to lessen the stigma of it. I am tired of hearing that a c-section isn’t a “real birth” or that it’s the “easy way out.” I have often felt the need to justify why my c-section occurred, or state whether it was planned or unplanned. As if  having a c-section is something to be embarrassed about. Newsflash, it isn’t!  While I don’t mind sharing either of my daughters’ birth stories, it should not be something that I have to do.

Although a c-section isn’t something to be embarrassed about, I was (and still am) disappointed about the need for two of them. I had a grand idea of how labor and delivery would go. I had a plan, and if you know me, when things don’t go according to “the plan” I can get a bit . . . stressed. One of the main things I was looking forward to was to hold my daughters immediately after they were born. I wanted to initiate skin-to-skin contact ASAP. With my c-sections that wasn’t a possibility. I was not the first person to hold my daughters, and I didn’t get to hold either of them until I was in the recovery room. To some that may seem like an insignificant thing to be upset about, but for me, that was one of the main reasons a c-section made me so emotional. I also felt like my body let me down, like I was a failure, for not being able to have them vaginally. Over a year a later I am still disappointed that I didn’t get the opportunity to have my baby placed on my chest, but I am learning ways to help me cope.

1. Things don’t always go according to plan.

Not going to lie, this one is tricky for me. I love my plans, and can get bent out of shape if things deviate from the plan. But, as the saying goes “Man plans, God laughs” and the same is true for birth. You can plan all you want, but things can change, and your plan goes out the window. It wasn’t anything you did wrong.

2. You still gave birth.

Babies can be born in all sorts of ways. Home births, hospitals births, in the water or via a c-section. While each one is different, they all get the same result. You bring your baby into the world.

3. Haters gonna hate.

There will always be someone who will disapprove of how you are doing things (aka Mommy Wars). There is always a person who pretty much thinks c-sections are unnecessary and will share with you all sorts of stats. Rather than engaging in an argument, simply change the subject, or better yet avoid the subject. I’m not saying this because you should be ashamed, but because no matter what you say, you probably won’t change their mind.

4. Your baby is what’s important.

In the end, your baby’s health and safety is what it boils down to. In the end, you became a mother.

Introducing Annelyse Miller: A Troy Mom

Introducing Annelyse!

Down with Detroit

I grew up in Rosedale Park, a neighborhood in Northwest Detroit. Rosedale Park is filled with gorgeous old homes, passionately loyal neighbors and a true sense of community. Along with my incredibly giving and driven parents and my three siblings, the city and this neighborhood in particular, helped to shape my spunky and scrappy personality. It is by far my favorite place in the city.

My husband Jon grew up on Grosse Ile, so we shared a desire to find a place that felt homey and valued education. We feel quite fortunate to have found our neighborhood in Troy that not only boasts great neighbors and schools but feels like going up north without ever leaving home.

Sharing my favorite Metro area places would not be complete without mentioning the Planet Ant Theatre in Hamtramck. Not only is it a great theatre to see scripted productions but it is also home to Detroit’s longest running improv show and where Jon and I studied improv. Improv has had a dramatic (pun intended) impact on our lives. Along with filling much of our free time performing around the metro-area, it has also gifted us with an amazing life lens as well as cherished friends and mentors. The theatre has now expanded to a space across the street called the Ant Hall and the Ghost Light bar. All three venues are cool without being pretentious.

Jon and I performing with our troupe Jalopy at the Planet Ant.

I consulted my family for inspiration on favorite Detroit places and Jon suggested Vivios down in the Eastern Market. This iconic bar/restaurant is home to the best Bloody Marys I have ever had and also marks a special time in my life. I lived in a wonky little row house in Corktown and was incredibly busy teaching while finishing my masters. It was at this time that I met my awesome husband and my life truly filled with laughter. We met playing soccer in a pick up soccer league that met in Lafayette park behind the Atlas building. This time before children was one in which we played soccer for hours on end every Saturday, a feat I can hardly remember let alone fathom now.

Within the metro area I have also lived in Hamtramck and Clawson, so I hold each of these little hamlets near and dear to my heart. Life with kids means that I also love Greenfield Village and The Henry Ford, the Detroit Zoo, the Detroit Historical Museum, Rochester Play, and Troy Gymnastics. According to my entire family the only place for real pizza is Tomatoes Apizza in Farmington Hills and the best arcade and video game playing happens in our basement, thanks to the hubby’s ridiculous Nintendo collection. I am a passionate Detroiter at heart but I’ve embraced suburban living and want to share both with my children.

Photo Credit: Cybelle Codish

:: My Life ::

I am an English and Spanish teacher by training but have spent the last seven years as a S/WAHM. My original career goal was to hide away in a cave and write but learned quite by accident that I had an affinity for teaching. As much as I loved teaching, I realized I was one of those people that was absolutely miserable doing it while I had a little baby at home away from me. My selfless husband took the plunge to be a single income provider. It was a huge sacrifice that I will be thankful for forever.

I still try to work time in to write and have found writing for the theatre is my best fit. I also, as it turns out, enjoy writing reviews and interviewing people and do so by contributing to DetroitLaughsLouder.

Now that my youngest is a very mature almost four year old, I have started teaching very part time and prepping to return to working full time. I teach improv to middle, high school and adult ESL students in Detroit as part of the Detroit Creativity Project. It is a dream job for me. This teaching job also gives me the opportunity to work with some of the most talented local improvisers. I also teach drama to elementary students though our church, which sort of melds my love of teaching, drama and spirituality.

Although I often appear to be a hot-mess, I love organizing. I became really passionate about having an organized house out of pure necessity when we lived in a tiny shoebox with zero storage space. I spend an inordinate amount of time, trying to make our household and lives more organized. It is one of those unfeasible tasks I continue to work on. I am also a total paper planner geek, so much so that I started making planner stickers on Etsy about a year ago. 

::Babies And Beyond ::

After being together for a bit over four years, Jon and I got married in 2007. Our oldest Julian was a honeymoon baby. Jon describes him as the most logical person in our family. At a very young age he aspired to be a police officer. This goal seems fitting considering his strong sense of right and wrong. He loves football and has an insatiable love for football stats that I pretend to understand. These traits do not come from my genetic line. What he did inherit from me is a passion for reading. If allowed, he would stay up all night reading Rick Riordan novels or non-fiction books to better understand the mythology of Rick Riordan novels. I marvel at the smarts my tender hearted oldest has, he is amazing. We have yet to find a team sport he is passionate about playing but he seems to love his golf lessons.

My bookworm hiding in his room with a favorite book.

Our second, Desmond, arrived a year and a half after Julian. His complete disregard for rules and order has helped to balance his brother’s love for them. Desi keeps us on our toes and in stitches. He would like to create graphic novels like his hero Dav Pilkey or design video games when he grows up. He creates detailed drawings of Skylander characters complete with tag lines and packaging instructions. He has what we believe is a photographic memory and loves geography. Both Jon and I are baffled by his unique genius. He is also a total ham and loves singing, dancing and acting.

My artist/illustrator at work.

Our grand finale is Magdalena and I am still coming to grips with the fact that she is not a baby anymore. She loves cheating at cards, Frozen and planning her birthday parties. On a typical day you can find her in our backyard wearing a tutu, wielding a nerf-gun and shouting at the top of her lungs. My dad has great hopes that she is his future engineer. She loves trying to figure out how things work, including how to drive. She loves telling jokes like her daddy and has her mommy’s spit fire temper. She looks forward to dance class, doing gymnastics and learning to read. I feel so very blessed and lucky to have such amazing kiddos in my life and truly enjoy spending time with them.

My little engineer making sense of automobiles at Greenfield Village.

I was interested in joining Detroit Moms Blog because finding my way into a moms club helped me meet some of my best friends to date. I think it is incredibly important to have other amazing mommies in our lives. We need good people to commiserate and celebrate with on this parenting journey. I was a baby wearing, breast feeding, cloth diapering momma, but I feel very strongly that each parent needs to parent in their own way. With each addition to our family, I found I needed to change every preconceived notion I had about parenting best practices. If our goal is to raise happy, giving and talented adults at the end of this parenting gig, it doesn’t really matter which route we each take to get there. I look forward to learning from and sharing with all the parents in this amazing community.

Enjoying one of our favorite beaches on Australia’s central coast. Did I mention my Dad was Australian?

Parenting a Toddler is Like Raising Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

My oldest son, Charlie, is four and a half years old. He is both a challenge and a blessing. He makes me laugh and cringe all within a two minute span. He is rough and tough and then a minute later he is my sweet little boy who lets me cuddle and kiss him. How does this happen?  Why is he like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? He seems to be in the ‘In Between’ stage. Not a toddler and not a big boy. He does not nap, but is exhausted by the end of the day. He will eat three pieces of toast and peanut butter for breakfast in two minutes flat, but thinks actual peanuts alone are ‘disgusting’. 

I constantly shake my head at his antics and laugh. Then I get frustrated a second later. Sometimes I wonder what is going on in his head. This is the only kind of relationship that it is accepted and really expected that women go back time after time. It is an emotional roller coaster and I often don’t know what to make of it.

Here is what I think: he wants total independence. He wants to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and I don’t blame him. I know I hate it when someone tries to boss me around. At the end of the day he still needs his mama. And I realize that everyday. I have learned to try to pick my battles with him and let him choose as much as I can.

I am a type A mom . . . I am the first to admit it. I like things just ‘so’. But to make our life easier and run a little smother I have loosened my grip on a few things. For example I let him choose what he wears (within reason) and I let him choose vegetable he eats at dinner (this one is sneaky . . . green beans? Sure!!  Broccoli? You can have as much as you want!)

So what do I do when I feel like I’m about to lose it? There are a couple of things that have worked for me:

First, if he is having a ‘moment’ I just let him have it. In my opinion he has every right to feel the way he feels. I don’t care if I am at home or the checkout line at Target. As long as he’s not hurting anyone the stares don’t bother me. But, I also don’t give into him. I will give him a hug if he wants, but if I said no to something, he’s not getting it.

Second, I follow through with consequences. If he’s had his warning and still was out of line I will follow through with the punishment. He needs to know l mean business.

Third, I try to take a moment for myself. A mommy time-out of sorts. I get upset too, but, I don’t want him to feel like I am angry at him. It is more of the situation. Three minutes in my bedroom with the door closed can work wonders. I can put the baby in the crib, Charlie in his room and take my moment to cool down.  

Do I really keep my cool every time it happens? Heck no! I’ve lost it many times. But, I am trying to learn from my mistakes too.  I have to keep reminding myself that while being a mommy is hard, being a little kid is hard too. At the end of the day when I put him to bed I often hear these words: “Mommy, I love you.  You are my best princess ever.” My. Heart. In. A. Million. Pieces. And that is why we do this day after day.  We love, we forgive and know that at least something we are doing is going right.

Tax Savings {Another Reason to Save for College}

We have partnered with Michigan Education Trust to bring relevant and important information to DMB readers through this sponsored post.

As we begin to prepare our daughter for college I can’t help but wonder how we could have better prepared ourselves financially. I currently sit with a tremendous amount of college debt and we don’t want that for her. I want her to go to college and celebrate what’s ahead of her and not dread what will be once she graduates. Thankfully for our daughter we’ve learned quite a bit about this through years of student loans but things are constantly changing making it hard for our youth to come out of college without any debt. To top it off parents are being forced to consider whether they want to save for their child’s college or their own retirement. 

As my husband and I sat down to do our taxes this year we learned we could start saving for not only her college but the two little ones that haven’t entered the school stage yet. That it’s never too late to make a plan for our children. We began reviewing every single milestone and expense from the past year. My husband entering a graduate program. I left my full time job to start my own business. My husband started a new job. We had another baby. These were just a few of the things we had to consider.  

Doing your taxes, or having someone else do your taxes, forces you to think about your personal finances. But did you know that your retirement plans, flex care accounts, child care expenses and even college savings programs can have an effect on the outcome of your taxes each year? We didn’t. We didn’t realize that investing in college savings plans could benefit us when it comes to filing. 

If you haven’t taken advantage of these tax breaks in the past, you are essentially missing out on the potential savings. If you’re anything like us you want to take full advantage of every little thing. If we can claim it, we want to know about it. Don’t you wish there was a list of potential tax breaks in an infograph plastered all over the Internet? 

Here’s something we wish we would have known about. If you have invested in a college savings plan through the Michigan Education Trust (MET), Michigan’s 529 prepaid tuition program, you are able to deduct the amount paid in 2016 on your state income tax return this year. If you purchased your contract as a lump sum, monthly purchase or payroll deduction, the entire contract amount contributed may be deducted. In addition to annual income tax savings, disbursements from MET for qualified higher education expenses are tax-free. Not a MET contract holder? If you purchase a contract this year, you will save on your 2017 state income taxes. Doesn’t this sound amazing?!

A few things to keep in mind as you begin to think about investing in Michigan Education Trust. This year’s enrollment period is open now through Sept. 30, 2017. If you’re strongly considering MET make sure you do it before May 1 when prices increase. For more information, visit SETwithMET.com. 

Now that you have the information on Michigan Education Trust and what it can do for your income taxes. What are you going to do? 

“Saving for college is a great example of a situation where you receive a tax break for something you should already be doing,” said Robin Lott, executive director of the Michigan Education Trust and the Michigan Education Savings Program.

 

 

Introducing Sara Ruhland: A Livonia Mom

Introducing Sara!

:: Down with Detroit ::

I grew up in the small town of Garden City.  Everything from kindergarten to graduation day was with mostly the same group of people; some of whom I am still friends with today. Growing up in small city has its perks; we all still have roots to the town no matter how far away we have gotten. Social media allows us to keep up with one another and so many friendships have been rekindled thanks to Facebook. Even my marriage! My husband was born and raised there as well. 

I was raised a Michigan fan with no tolerance for any other team; especially that team from Ohio. We attend Michigan games regularly and can’t wait to share that love with our daughter. I attended Tiger games growing up and still remember walking down the cobblestone to get to Trumbull Ave. Comerica Park is one of my favorite places to be in the summer. I am in love with the comeback the city is making and love spending time downtown as much as I can. Sunday Funday is a great time to explore! For a night on the town you can usually find me in downtown Plymouth. We love the small city feel yet busy nightlife.

:: My Life ::

I attended college at Eastern Michigan University with a  major in Communication. I lived in Ypsi for all of my undergrad years and am so grateful for my time and friendships made there. My husband and I wouldn’t cross paths again until after our college years. He attended Wayne State with major in Graphic Design. If you ask us each separately how we met you will hear a different story (there is some truth to both versions.)

We dated for 3 years before getting engaged. We were married in 2013 and boy has life given us a run for our money. Wedding plans, home purchases, job changes, dog(s), illnesses, and a baby that came two months early have tested our marriage. I knew Rick was for me many years ago; and all of these challenges have only reinforced that truth. 

I am a proclaimed self help book addict. I have an imaginary squad made up of Oprah, Brene Brown, Liz Gilbert, Rob Bell, Robin Roberts, Glennon Doyle Melton, and the many many speakers and creators of the podcasts I  listen to on the regular. Music heals my soul and speaks to my heart. I love a good song and the feeling you get when lyrics hit you hard. I can be transported back in time with just a few chords on a a guitar.

Dogs, dogs, dogs. Animals in general actually. I would have a farm if I could. I love all animals and always have. I adopted a whale after ‘Free Willy’ was released (true story), and wanted to be a zoologist (until I discovered animals all die at some point), or a marine biologist (until a high school trip made me realize otherwise.) So today I have two dogs who I adore and am always on the lookout for strays I can bring home and try and convince Rick to let us keep. 

I work in media delivery at Valassis. You probably know us best from the Red Plum wrap you get delivered in your mailbox once a week. I like putting together puzzles; so I look at the puzzle pieces of our business and work with some of the most talented people I know to put the pieces back together in the most efficient way possible. I really love my job. Some days it is not easy being a working mom but most days I would not have it any other way.

My friends are some of the best people on the planet. I am very lucky to have my tribe, my people. Some of whom I have been friends with for over 30 years. I do not know what I would do without them. I am also a yoga junkie. Yoga completely transformed my life a few years back. I find my mat as much as possible these days but sometimes that means down dog with my toddler running underneath me. 

:: Babies and Beyond ::

Olivia came into the world 8 weeks early with very little warning. On November 13th 2014 we welcomed our sweet 5lb baby girl into the world. She was luckily a healthy baby who just needed a couple weeks in the NICU before coming home. Our lives were turned upside down when we had Olivia in so many ways. My heart was opened like I have never realized; my patience tested unlike ever before; and the joy I feel watching her grow is the greatest gift of my life. She is one of the kindest, funniest, and strongest people I know. At the age of 2 she has so much empathy for others; so much happiness. The world has not yet given her second thoughts on being herself; and that is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever witnessed. 

Being a mom has definitely been a challenge. The mom guilt never goes away and I am  constantly trying to find balance; although I am told that never really happens. I work full time and being a working mama is both fulfilling and incredibly difficult; even on the hardest days I am not sure I would have it any other way. 

I am so grateful to be a mom; I can’t wait to see how my role as mom evolves while watching my daughter discover her world. 

 

 

 

 

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