{Down With Detroit}

I’ve got kind of a weird thing going on with my living situation. I live in Beverly Hills for part of the year and then, during the summer, I live up north. My husband owns an overnight camp for kids and it‘s located in Kalkaska, Michigan which is not far from Traverse City, Boyne, Petoskey and Charlevoix. I love being up there in the summer. I love it. But I always love coming home too.

I went to college and lived in Columbus, Ohio for 8 years, (Go Buckeyes!–Sorry.) but other than that, I have always lived in Michigan—and I have always been happy here. I especially love that our city is making a comeback because there are no better days than the days we spend with our kids downtown. Plus, Eminem is here and even though he doesn’t know or care that I’m here too, I still like to be where he is, and so do my kids.

{My Life}

I am a parent, above all else, but that is funny to me because I probably have no business being in charge of anyone. It’s not unusual for me to tell my kids to do something and then start cracking up because, as far as they’re concerned, I’m their parent so they have to do what I say.

Besides the whole parent thing (seriously, though, that is enough) I have a job in promotional marketing and I have my camp life.

Outside of the kids and counselors, camp was not a natural fit for me; I am ANYTHING but earthy. I still get teased about the first time I went up for a visit and I asked if someone was going to come get my bags. I have no idea how I ended up there, in that life, but I show up every summer with wedge flip flops and tiaras for my kids and I love it. We all do.

I write a blog called Dim Sum and Doughnuts. I wrote another one before that one called FuLan-Mania: A Blog of Chinese Adoption and Clueless Parents. The blogs, they are for my girls, so they have them one day. That way, they will not only have some preserved memories, but they will also know that their mommy was totally off-the-wall crazy while she loved them with every fiber of her being.

Also, (side note) I love cake (like sheet cake, not fancy cake), “Miami Vice” (the first 2 seasons) and Henri Bendel. In case you were wondering.

{Babies and Beyond}

I have a husband, Mark Coden (Cody).We met in 2002 (I was 31 years old) when I wasn’t paying attention. I had on a baseball cap and work-out clothes but he fell for me anyway. I thought Cody was the coolest guy ever, and I still do.

Cody and I have a daughter, Frankie, whom (I think it’s “whom”) we adopted from Chongqing, China in March of 2008. She was 11 months old when we got her. We had absolutely no idea what the hell we were doing as parents, especially to a kid who was adopted. I made a lot of mistakes and there were days that I second guessed why anyone would give me a child, but Frankie seems to be adjusting JUST FINE. She is 1/4 an amazing big sister, 1/4 the sweetest kid, 1/4 the most fun, and 1/4 “OMG, you are driving me crazy!” (Wait…can we make that last one a little more than 1/4?)

Cody and I have a daughter, Frankie, whom (I think it’s “whom”) we adopted from Chongqing, China in March of 2008. She was 11 months old when we got her. We had absolutely no idea what the hell we were doing as parents, especially to a kid who was adopted. I made a lot of mistakes and there were days that I second guessed why anyone would give me a child, but Frankie seems to be adjusting JUST FINE. She is 1/4 an amazing big sister, 1/4 the sweetest kid, 1/4 the most fun, and 1/4 “OMG, you are driving me crazy!” (Wait…can we make that last one a little more than 1/4?)

Our life and our family is pretty unconventional, but we make it work.

(At least I think we do. I really have no idea…I’m just happy that I made it through another day and both of my kids are home, in their beds and alive.)

I hope you come check us out…

{Facebook}

{Twitter}  (Come find me! I’m finally getting the hang of it!!)

And I’m on {Instagram} too, but I don’t really understand it.

June is not only MY birthday (so what if I celebrate it the whole month) but it is also Father’s Day! I guess I can give up one of my days to honor and celebrate and thank all those DAD’s out there!

Since my husband Dan is a new dad, it is only fitting that he contribute to the blog to tell his side of the story on pregnancy and new babies. He refused and said I can interview instead – in exchange for him going out for a game of golf. OK – this is going to be fun!

I set up my phone to record it. I swear – what you are going to read really happened and was really said (minus a few swear words here and there). For those who know Dan, he has a very dry humor. He likes to remind me that I have zero sense of humor and can’t understand sarcasm. And I am gullible. HAHA

ME:         Dan, these are the rules if you want to play. I am going to ask you some questions and you have to answer HONESTLY and seriously.

DAN:       Uhhh ok.

ME:         How does it feel to be a dad?

DAN:       I need more of a deeper question to answer. Too broad.

ME:         Ok, let’s start over. When you found out I was pregnant with Alexandra, what was your first reaction?

DAN:       Well, if you remember Lauren, you were out who knows where with your sister. I came home and as I am in the bathroom, I see a positive pregnancy test stick in the window sill. My first thought was: ummm… how old is this? Was I supposed to see this and where the hell is Lauren?

ME:         OH YEA! You ruined my surprise. I was too much in shock and forgot to hide it.

DAN:       But inside I was happy and all I could think was “oh shit – I’m going to be a DAD!!”

ME:         Awww! How about when I told you I was pregnant the second time? (Readers: I put a “BIG SISTER” t-shirt on Alexandra and sat her in the kitchen waiting for Dan to get home from work).

DAN:       At first, I didn’t comprehend her shirt. Then it sunk in – ANOTHER BABY! Then when I found out you already knew for a week I was pissed!

ME:         I had to go find the right t-shirt first! I was going to wait 2 more weeks and tell you on your birthday! You’re lucky I didn’t wait that long!

ME:         Ok, how was it dealing with me pregnant these past few months?

DAN:       You were a MONSTER. The first time, you were much more normal and nice and human. You were more relaxed. This time. NOT SO MUCH. I was counting down the months until the baby was born.

ME:         DUH. We didn’t have kids yet. We had a toddler this time. WITH CASTS ON HER LEGS. In the middle of the most freezing and snowiest winter ever. MISERY.

DAN:       This time, I wanted to disappear and come back when Vinnie was born. You had the bed covered in pillows, a body pillow, other pillows. So many pillows there was no room for me.

ME:         That was my point. I wanted the whole bed to myself.

DAN:       You snored. You made weird noses. You used so much toilet paper – who uses so much toilet paper?? I don’t understand why there were always 20 packs of Quilted Northern in the closet. You were up most of the night. I got no sleep.

ME:         YOUR SON was pressing on my bladder and I had pregnancy insomnia. Now that the baby is here, can you sleep better?

DAN:       You really want me to answer that? How about WAAAAAAA. That kid doesn’t just wake up slowly and lays there. He gets up and screams his head off until you feed him. How can something so little scream so loud? Then you have to talk to him to be quiet at 2am? He can’t understand a word you are saying. Remember my rules? No talking until I have a shower and coffee.

ME:         Next time, I will put his screaming mouth right next to your ear. I am not sure how you lay there, snoring and I’m up every time.

DAN:       I’m not sleeping. I’m up. I just pretend to sleep.

ME:         You’re an ass.

DAN:       You know I love you.

ME:         What are you plans, as a Dad, for our kids? This is a serious question now. No screwing around.

DAN:       I think we each need to take our kids, one at a time, and do something with them. I want to take Alexandra camping one day – Daddy Daughter camping. And no, not at a Holiday Inn. Real camping, in a tent and build a fire.

ME:         HAVE FUN. I’m not going.

DAN:       You are not invited. But that means, you and Vinnie will have to do Mommy Son things. Shopping does not count.

ME:         Ok, we will go to California and go on a whale watching cruise!!! Or explore Detroit and look at Architecture! Or… go to a Tigers game!

DAN:       Our kids are the greatest. I love Alexandra at this age. She is learning to put sentences together, she asks the silliest questions and says the cutest things. And Vinnie takes after his Dad – super handsome!

ME:         Teaching her to say “change my butt!” is not cute.

DAN:       Hell yes it is.

ME:         You’re a goof ball. I love you.

DAN:       I love you too.

Well hello there! My name is Jennifer and I write a little blog over at Mommy Life After Ph.D. where I share all about our life with the Crazies, aka Mr. A, C Puddins, BabyGirl, and the magnificent Mr. M. These four babies are all under the age of five…which means I was pregnant or nursing for the better part of six years. At the same time, I studied and earned my Master’s and Ph.D. degrees.

It takes a special kind of crazy for that mess. And an amazing hubby. But I’m all done with the books (at least from the student perspective) and have moved on to other roles in academia plus the title of blog-writing mommy. It has a certain ring to it, right? Or is that a ring around it? Where’s my scrub brush! Before I get back to cleaning, I’d like to share the DMBs of ME with YOU! So here goes nothing…

{Down with Detroit}

We moved to the metro Detroit area for my husband’s job and have LOVED every minute of our time here. What a beautiful (albeit a little snowy) part of the country. But we do love seasons and you cannot beat the outdoor living here. We’ve really enjoyed camping and exploring this state.

{My Life}

As I mentioned, I’m a bit of a nerd and love to learn and read and teach. For the moment I’m a SAHM/WAHM hybrid and it’s the perfect match for our family in this season of life. I love that I can cart the Crazies to and from school and spend all day with them, but still get do my own work during nap time or after they’ve gone to bed for the night. Perfect combo, I tell ya. My hubby and I have been married for 10 years and I could not be happier with the little life we’ve made for ourselves.

{Babies and Beyond}

My big guy Mr. A loves to laugh, play any kind of sport, and is the quintessential older brother and first child. Our sweet BabyGirl has a certain person wrapped around her little finger, is a total goofball, and might just be the next writer in our family. C Puddins is also known as “the sweetest fing” by any kid who can’t make the ‘th’ sound yet. He’s a snuggle bug, and while the terrible 3s have hit, he’s still my little guy.  And last, but certainly not least (um, ’cause he weight 10 lbs., 5 oz. at birth), is the marvelous Mr. M. At just 19 months old, he talks up a storm and has mastered the art of charming the ladies with his big blue eyes.

As a group we decided to pick out just one of those silly moments we have had as a mom, but I racked my brain and couldn’t think of anything outrageous enough to share. Yes, my kids say the darndest things and I have those moments where I think to myself “is this really happening?” But to me it feels normal. A “normal” life of having two kids who are 22 months apart.

Instead of feeling like the “Boring Mom,” I figured I wasn’t alone. Our lives are fun and full of those kind of moments. I mean the other day I had both kids helping me bake and my son turns on our Kitchenaid mixer at full speed and the flour goes everywhere. And I truly mean everywhere {it was almost impressive!}. But, that is our norm. Messes, crying, laughter, and well the unexpected.

As a mom, I have found myself comparing myself, experiences and kids to other families. It’s not healthy. I was given these kids. I have my own personality and for all of that I’m grateful. I share my boring mom moment to share this. Here at Detroit Mom’s Blog, it’s not a competition. We are here to collaborate, share, and just be real. My hope is that you never read an article and experience mom guilt. Let’s be real, we are all in our own phases of life and we all have different skills we can utilize.

For example, you won’t see me sitting with my kids creating amazing arts and craft projects. At least we haven’t yet! We like our simple coloring, painting, cutting and gluing paper together. That is just us! I use to think I was the world’s worst mom because my kids weren’t completing numerous projects each week. And the reality is, it’s a complete lie.

We love to bake together, play, build, and snuggle. We go to the library often and when it’s finally warm out we are definitely outside!

Let’s all ditch the mom guilt and embrace ourselves as the Mom we were created to be!

{Down with Detroit}

Growing up in metro Detroit as a young child was always an adventure. It was around my second birthday that my parents “bought me a backyard”. We moved into a quaint cape cod on a dead end street in Royal Oak. Soon thereafter, my love for the area and all it had to offer began. On Saturday mornings you could find us at the Royal Oak farmers market or Eastern Market. We knew it was a special day if we brought home one of Kathy’s homemade New York style Cheesecakes. Saturday afternoons in Metro Detroit held many opportunities; bleacher creatures at Tigers Stadium, shopping Trappers Alley, Greektown (pre casino), Xochimilco’s in Mexician town for delish authentic Mexican food or a local fave of young and old the mini train rides at Starr Jaycee park. One of my fondest childhood memories of the city were going to pick up grandparents from Michigan Central train Station. Still to this day it is my favorite Detroit landmark. I hope one day it will be restored to it’s former glory!

{Down with Detroit}

Born and raised in the suburbs, I had very little exposure or experience with “The City”. I ended up going to college in Detroit (Wayne State University & University of Detroit Mercy) where I studied Architecture & Design. I fell in love with the sights and sounds. Whether it was new build construction of Detroit’s present, crumbling old buildings showing Detroit’s past or construction sites of the future, I loved exploring all that the city offered. I loved to explore and spent a few years in Las Vegas, Nevada and Newport Beach, California.  I was always proud to say I was from Detroit. Because Detroit was always my home. My roots. I feel grounded and wholesome here. I moved back a few years ago, fell in love with an amazing man, got married and started a family. Even though I am still in the suburbs, Metro Detroit has no comparison to the other cities I have lived in. We have the best schools, best bars, best food (Yum Greektown), best sports (Go Wings!), best music (always have been + always will be a Madonna fan) and the best part – my friends and family are here. I’m one of the few people who loves beautiful winter days when the sun is shining off the newly fallen snow, the smell of color leafs in the fall and the burst of green when spring makes its grand entrance. Don’t get me wrong, I do miss the smell of the salty ocean and palm trees swaying in the air. But they don’t have the Detroit spirit that we have here!

{My Life}

I’ve always considered myself to be a workaholic, career driven, “moving up the ladder” type of woman. Then I got married and now I am the mother of two beautiful children. My 10-12 hour work days in the office are far forgotten. Working in Facility Management for one of the Big 3, I am surrounded by men…and tools…and putting out fires. These days, I’m juggling sharing daycare drop off/pick up duty with my husband, driving to work with nursery rhymes on the radio (sans no kids in the car), sitting in a meeting and realizing there are stickers on my clothes, and trying to get as much work done in an 8 hour work day so I can get home to my family. The days of traveling, exploring and new adventures have skewed slightly. Instead of hopping on a plane to check out San Francisco for the weekend, I am checking out the latest things to do around town with a toddler. I still depend 100% on coffee (I heart Starbys), love high heels, will not leave the house without makeup on and look forward to my “Me” days to get my nails and hair done. I have no problem having a complete conversation via text messages with multiple people at the same time (can we say multi-tasking!!). With two kids, a husband and a full-time job, I have a long bucket list of Pinterest crafts, scrapbooking, and recipes to attempt at. And the list keeps getting longer the more kids I have! In the meantime, I’m putting my design background to the test and have been working on updating our home. Room by room when the kids are sleeping and I can finally settle on a color scheme. Hopefully, some of my ideas and accomplishments will make it into the blog! And a few rooms are already going to get repainted – again! I can’t seem to settle on the right color for more than a few months!

{Babies & Beyond}

Alexandra Marie – 23 months

Two years ago we were blessed with Alexandra Marie. From day one, she stole my heart. And she became a “Daddy’s Girl”. Watching my husband interact with her made me fall in love with him all over again and even more. Now as a toddler, she amazes me every day. The way she says things, the excitement when she can hear the train in the background as we are going to bed. How much she loves dogs, but won’t go within 10 feet of them. And the dancing! Alexandra also loves her mommy. When I am putting makeup on, she wants to put some on too! Then gets so excited when I tell her how pretty she is! But pretty and smart isn’t all she is! She’s also so tough! I never thought I would fight with a 2-year-old and lose, but she wins! Being strong at heart, mind and physical strength is just the characteristics she needs to grow up to be a smart independent strong woman.

Vincent Thomas – 5 weeks

When I found out I was having a boy, I burst into tears. For two reasons: 1) I had my “pair” of a boy and a girl and was officially done having kids and 2) I was petrified at the thought of having to change the diaper of a boy and getting peed on. But when he entered the world, I had no worries. Arriving exactly one month early on Easter Sunday, he is my angel. At 5 weeks, he already has the cutest personality. So relaxed, so chill (unlike his type A personality sister). The thick dark hair and most beautiful skin – I could just hold him for hours. I was so afraid that Alexandra would be resentful or jealous when we brought him home. Instead, she loves him so much. Wants to help feed him, change him and play with him. It melts my heart when I see her go up to him on her own and kiss his cheeks. Give me about 2 years and this paragraph will be completely different. Hopefully, he will learn to stand on his own and protect his sister!!