ARTHRITIS?? Seriously? How can my 11 year old son possibly have a disease that affects the elderly?

We were given this diagnosis for my son, Logan, just 1  1/2 years ago. Logan was a regular active kid who loved sports and school. Day one of our  family vacation and he complained his ankle hurt. Within 1 hour the pain was so bad, I had to piggy back him back to the hotel. This pain kept up the entire vacation. When we got home,  he was treated for a sprained ankle. Soon, his feet started hurting. He nicknamed it “sensitive foot syndrome.” We could not go near his feet. We laughed about it at the time. Now,  the doctor treated him for low arches. He said buying arch supports should help the pain. It didn’t go away, but there wasn’t much else the podiatrist could do. One month or so later, the pediatrician discovered a huge, swollen knee. Logan had never even complained of this. It was on the same side of his body as the sore ankle. We started seeing an orthopedic surgeon. He drained Logan’s knee a few times. However, the swelling would come right back. We mentioned the sore ankle and feet. He said it was due to the sore knee. So, he soon recommended knee surgery. It was an “easy procedure” to clean the knee out and he would be playing again “in a few days!” Well, 8 weeks later, he was still walking on crutches and his knee was still swollen. The doctor actually recommended going back to draining or a compression stocking! Seriously?? Nice try buddy! We decided to find answers somewhere else!

We got in at U of M 2 weeks later. The doctors knew right away he had arthritis. The Rheumatologist could feel every joint and tell if there was arthritis and how severe it was! He was diagnosed with juvenile polyarticular arthritis. This type spreads to 5 or more joints in a 6 month period. It was 6 months since the day on the beach! So, by now it was in his hands, feet, ankles, toes, fingers and knees!  Ok, we can deal with that. At least we have the diagnosis now. We felt better. Well, until word of the medicines he had to take set in. At one point I think he was on about 15 pills a day. The high doses of steroids caused him to balloon up right in the fall of 6th grade! The side effects are scary! The emotional roller coaster they have put my child on is crazy!

So, enter multi-personality mommy!

*Guilty Mommy: The part of me that wonders everyday what I could have done to prevent my child from getting this. They say it is an autoimmune disease. Kids that have these diseases are born with a clink in their immune system. So, it’s just a matter of time until that clink gets rattled and it sets the disease off. Could I have prevented it? Was it his food, microwave, stress, activities? What did I do wrong? How did I fail my son?

Guilty mommy always feels bad for my other child who watches Logan get all the special treatment.

*Angry Mommy: I’m so mad at the disease and everything that goes with it! I get so mad about people’s responses. When he isn’t having a flare up, he can play sports. Everyone assumes he is fine. They don’t see perhaps the bad morning where he couldn’t even walk down the stairs or tie his shoe without any pain. They have no idea of all the meds he takes in order to feel good. When he is having a flare up and in a wheelchair, people stare as he still looks like a normal kid. I know people want to help, but don’t tell me “it’s going to be ok.” Nobody knows if he will be ok. There is NO CURE for this disease!

*Sad Mommy: I cry a lot. I cried almost every day the first year. I watch my child struggle to run and catch up with his friends. Let’s be honest, boys are boys. They don’t understand and can’t slow down. So, I often watched my child just sit on the side or lag behind. Logan has to get a shot of methotrexate every week. I have to give it to him. He begs me every week not to do it. He throws up just at the sight or talk of it! I have to stand there with that syringe and wait for him to stop throwing up to give him his injection. It is heartbreaking!

*Scared Mommy: THE MEDS!! The meds are so scary! Am I doing the right thing by putting all these drugs in him? If I don’t, he may eventually need joint replacement surgery! So, let’s talk about the side effects of his meds. One could cause severe liver damage. So, he gets blood work every 2-4 weeks to make sure his liver is still functioning. Not to mention as he is getting older, the disaster alcohol could cause his liver if mixed with this drug. Then, his eyes. Arthritis and one of his pills can affect the eyes. A double whammy! So, he has to get eye tests every few months and go to a retinal specialist to make sure his eyes stay free of disease.  Then there is the methotrexate. Basically, a low dose of chemotherapy. So, over time, it has made him so sick he can’t even stand the sight of the needle or bottle of medicine. So, he sees a therapist to try and retrain his brain to his diversion to this medicine. Oh, I forgot to mention that we also had to have “the talk.” While taking this medication, if he was to get a girl pregnant, the baby would basically be guaranteed to have birth defects. And that is what is going into my baby every week!

*Organized Mommy: He has a 3″ binder filled with paperwork from all his doctor appointments. Juggling appointments with school is very difficult as most offices are only open during school hours. He doesn’t like to miss school. Therefore, almost every day off is spent at one of his doctors. Refills! I have to stay up on his meds. If he misses a couple days in a row, we risk a flare up.

*Happy Mommy: I know, right now you are thinking what could possibly make you happy about this disease. The disease doesn’t make me happy. But every once in a while, we get a glimmer of hope; a moment of pure joy! I had one today at his doctor appointment. Watching the doctor’s face as she felt his joints. She had the look of pure joy and happiness in her eyes! His joints have no signs of active arthritis right now! That is a feeling of pure joy! Tears that came down my face because maybe my son will be that kid who goes in remission and stays in remission! The way is he trying to handle this disease makes me happy as well. He was asked to be the honoree at the Walk for a Cure at the Detroit Zoo on May 10th.  Last year it was the largest arthritis walk in the country with over 3,000 people. This year, Logan shared his story at the walk. He has been raising money to find a cure . I am proud of him as he steps out of his comfort zone among adults and his peers.  If you would like to learn more about the walk or donate to our team, or participate next year. Click on his link below: here.

If you’re a mom or dad then you’ve been there! That moment at the grocery store when your usually insanely good toddler screams at the top of her lungs “look mommy a truck” (except instead she yelled a 4 letter word rhyming with truck) and you’re left standing there beet faced promising she really ISN’T cursing out the elderly woman at the end if the aisle.

Or when your chunky monkey and best babywearing baby on the block has “butt popped” yet again in the “R2D2” back carry you worked hours to perfect in the middle of Ikea and now you have to run across the store with toddler in those “easy-to-stear-but-they-go-every-which-way” shopping carts all while hanging on to your back dangling baby. Or that moment you are in circle time at playgroup and your text alert goes off revealing you (err Siri) sent an offensive message to a customer, thank goodness it was also a very good friend!

We’ve all had THOSE moments as parents we wish we were an ostrich and could just hide our head in the sand! But you know what, we’ve all been there!! And actually each one of my “examples” are true, and are among the endless list of embarrassing parent moments in my short 5 years as a mom!

When asked to open with a funny/sad/happy/embarrassing/emotional parenting moment for me it HAD to be embarrassing!! I have SOO many! I am kinda “that” mom! I try, really hard, sometimes TOO hard, but my intentions are there! I am conservative in most aspects but super Crunchy when it comes to my kiddos! So I’ve had to learn from my mistakes and take the path less taken.  It’s been a very bumpy ride, but it’s been fun thus far!

I have 2 wonderful kiddos and I really believe my daughter, Babycakes, was placed in this earth to teach me lesson after lesson after lesson!  Little miss BC is the best, and worst, parts of both my hubby and I and that’s an unstable mix!! She’s adventurous, determined, persistent and passionate! So when she makes up her mind… Watch out world!

She had to be only 2 1/2 when this happened and my little man, Laddie, just a baby maybe 6 months old. It was a beautiful summer morning and she was bound and determined to play outside. I told her after lunch and naps it was outside time. She was not having it… One bit! Well it was almost lunch time so I put on Disney Jr. And Mickey Mouse Clubhouse was on so I was free for a good 20 minutes!! Or so I thought.

Off to the potty I went! 5 minutes of peace… Ya right! It was quiet… You know that TOO QUIET sound! I jumped up pulling my pants up yelling for her… Nothing. I looked around and mini man rolled himself in a corner, so into the bouncer he went as my search continued.

Now we live in an upper unit condo that’s only about 1200 sq/ft… She couldn’t be far, or so I thought! Speeding thru the house yelling her name, I froze as I got to the top of the stairs… There were all her clothes and the front door was open… I HAVE A STREAKER :0/

Now I live in the Ann Arbor area so the naked mile is a known phenomenon around town. But that’s college students, not 2 1/2 year old little girls!

I ran down stairs and out the front door my head spinning as if it were a teacup at Disney world. Then I spotted her… Picking flowers at the far end of our building in the commons area. Just as happy as a pig in poop she was singing and twirling with her flowers wearing nothing but a smile and a Tiara! That’s my girl! Skinned knees and dirty face all while wearing a tutu and tiara! She’s such a wild child, but with the innocence of an angel.

At the end of the day I looked back at what this taught me… And I came up with 2 (main) things.

I am a last minute mom, always.  Better late than never is my motto!  Besides, I work harder and faster under pressure.  I spent a little time looking at Pinterest boards.  There were many cute Father’s Day gift ideas.  I went through my supplies and came up with this idea, handprints and a poem for Dad’s office!

It is cute, it is simple and I got it done in no time!  Just grab an old or new frame, some scrap paper, print a poem {use my 8.5 x 11 print! Fathers day printable}, some paint, double sided tape or glue, and scissors!

Cut the paper to fit the frame, print the poem + trim the paper, tape it down.

Next step is a little messy, but easy clean up!  Use a paper plate or any old plate, spread the paint around and help the kiddos make a hand print!

I added a little quote the boys gave me, I just asked them what do they love about dad? Nothing fancy, it is just handwritten by me.

Once it is dry, assemble.

I found some cute chip board pieces and ribbon to add a little more but it’s perfect even without the little details!

That’s it!  You have a great Father’s Day gift your kids will LOVE giving.  And he will be able to proudly display it on his desk at work!

“You know I am leaving for a few days next week.  You boys better be good for your mom while I am gone.  Don’t give her a hard time.”  Dad reminds the boys that another work trip is quickly approaching.  They usually respond with a sincere look and understanding, and they give him a simple little nod, “we will be good.”  But we BOTH know the boys will be good and things will remain semi normal for about…well, a day.  Then we await the inevitable, the moment when their emotions run a little bit higher and they start to say, “I miss dad, do you miss dad?!” On top of missing dad, the boys start to become annoyed with mom’s stress levels…{if I’m not managing it properly, which is about 90% of the time, yep, I can be quite annoying!}.

Once the conversation begins, it is a reminder to start preparing myself for the days that lie ahead.  When dad leaves for a work trip, it’s usually a bittersweet occasion.  On one hand, a little distance never hurts, and on the other hand, I have to deal with “everything” on my own.  I don’t get any breaks.  My day job  soon becomes my morning, my day, and my night job….24 hours of kids {constantly} demanding my love and attention!  I literally become a single mom. I praise you ladies who rock at this!  When it’s just me I have to become the fearless optimistic mom who can handle anything thrown my way.  I am the leader. If I’m scared, they are scared. If I’m stressed, they are stressed. If I am sad, they are sad.  I have to stay positive and upbeat to keep everyone uplifted.

When I think back to when I was working outside of the home, I am still amazed at what I could accomplish. It’s even exhausting to think about! I have a wonderful family.  My mom took care of our kids. Almost every day after pick up, I would wish for dinner plans at mom’s. Often times, I would give them a bath before we headed home. This was to help make bedtime easier so I could get ready for the next day and catch some zzzzz ‘s!

As dad’s return is near, we anxiously wait. He has, on occasion, surprised us. Only to appear out of nowhere unexpectedly-the kids dig that move! Finally when he does walk through the door we feel full of LOVE + happiness knowing he’s back home! Every trip we miss him dearly and realize what an important role he plays in our family.  He helps make our life enjoyable and he makes my life…well, easier and I am so grateful for everything he does do as their dad and my husband.

I have compiled a little list of things that I do to help us survive while he is away!

1. CATCH UP ON WEEKLY CHORES::I like to catch up on the mundane weekly tasks before he leaves so that I don’t have to worry too much about falling behind on them. Especially the laundry, because I have learned the hard way that I am just not going to be able to get everything done.

2. LOTS OF EXTRA HUGS AND KISSES::I try to hug and squeeze and kiss them a million times in dad’s absence because I know dad’s hugs are greatly missed.

3. DANCE PARTY IN OUR LIVING ROOM::De-stress. Yes, I LOVE dancing foolishly around the house.  It does help us decompress the built up emotions, stress and anxiety, PLUS we have a ton of fun letting loose!  The boys also love being the DJ.  Long walks or visits to the park also help.

4. A LITTLE YOGA AND MEDITATION::If the stress level is just too high, we sometimes have to try a little yoga and some breathing exercises.  I turn on some calming music and ask them to sit with me, breathe and talk about what is bothering them.

5. DESSERT FOR BREAKFAST {not really}::I do like to add a few extra treats like chocolate chips and marshmallows somewhere in the mix! They love little surprises. I hide certain snacks away just for this occasion.

6. LEARN TO SAY “NO”::I try to keep our schedule simple. Over booking us just leads to unnecessary stress.  Learning to let go in life is something I work on every day, especially when I am playing the single mom role.

7. BE HAPPY + OPTIMISTIC::I aim to teach them through example; I have to be happy and optimistic so that they are also happy and optimistic.  There is always sadness built around dad’s work trips, as well as a little optimism…  Let me explain.  I love my family unit.  We are a team!  The 4 of us work together to create a life full of love, trust and compassion for one another.  When something is off, it affects the whole unit, but a little distance is not going to hurt us-it will only help us grow and be stronger!

8. AVOID TALKING TO DAD ON THE PHONE::It is so easy for me to make him feel guilty for not being at home..helping! He knows, he really does, he gets it, and it is COMPLETELY out of his control and there really isn’t anything he can do from a distance. What is the point of starting a text message war or ending a conversation on a bad note? It also makes the kids even more sad when they talk to dad.

9. KEEP LIFE SIMPLE::I do things like boil a dozen eggs, make instant oatmeal, and wash and dry fruit (so it is ready to eat anytime).  We eat leftovers, go through the freezer for anything easy hiding in there or make breakfast for dinner {eggs and toast or pancakes are always a hit!}! Keeping bedtime routine simple also helps. I am usually completely exhausted.  When we are ready for bed, I take my laptop with me, set up camp and let them watch television until we all fall asleep!

10. PLAY DATES + FAMILY VISITS::Setting up fun play dates with friends and little visits with family help too!  It keeps the kids occupied and not asking, “when is dad coming home?!”  This also helps me-it gives me a little break from, well, them!  They keep busy, have fun and stay happy!