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A Guide to Empowering Our Children to be Compassionate, Inclusive, and Antiracist

antiracist

If we have learned anything over the past year, it’s that we as humans have a lot of unlearning and a lot of educating—of ourselves and of our children—to do. It’s time to dedicate ourselves to understanding the past and, most importantly, changing the future. We can absolutely empower our children to be compassionate, inclusive, and antiracist. We can make a difference for future generations. The change starts here.

Bookmark this page. Come back and read day after day, week after week, month after month. Understand what it means to raise inclusive, actively antiracist families. Become a part of the solution.

A Kids Book About Racism by Jelani Memory

All Are Welcome by Alexandra Penfold

I Am Enough by Grace Byers

I Am Rosa Parks by Brad Meltzer

Mixed: A Colorful Story by Arree Chung

Same Difference by Calida Rawles

The Skin You Live In by Michael Tyler

The World Needs More Purple People by Kristen Bell

Sulwe by Lupita Nyong’o

We’re Different, We’re the Same by Bobbi Jane Kates (Sesame Street read along)

If you come across something you think would be a wonderful resource to add to this, please comment with it. We want to continue to expand our knowledge, continue to work on raising inclusive and antiracist children, and continue to teach those our families about the beautiful diversity of our world.

Date Night at Home Options For Every Type of Couple

I can’t be the only mom who had high expectations of their marriage once kiddos came. I couldn’t imagine why parents didn’t just hire babysitters and get out on the town once a week like we were doing pre-kids.

Then . . . my sweet kids came along, and I suddenly understood. Getting out as parents is NOT as simple as just hiring a babysitter or dropping the kids at Grandma’s and going out. The coordination, the money, the trust, the worry . . . they all burden us and let’s be real, they often prevent us from taking a little night out as parents.

Lately, my husband and I have been working hard to keep the flame going with date nights at home. It can sound corny, but I promise, friends, there are great date night options for every type of couple at home. Allow us to suggest some ideas for you and yours. Happy dating!

For the Adventurous Couple

Sure, you may be “stuck” at home next to the baby monitor, but that doesn’t mean you can’t dream of your next getaway! Plan your next vacation–or even a fantasy dream vacation–together on date night. Leave no stone unturned. Think about restaurants to try, experiences to have, hotels to stay in . . . the sky’s the limit (especially if it’s a fantasy vacation!).

For the Artsy Couple

For our artsy couples (or even if you want to be!), try a wine and paint night at home. Grab a photo for inspiration, some canvases, and don’t forget the wine! See what you guys come up with and chat along the way.

For the Chatty Couple

Every once in awhile, I will kindly force my “feelings-in-a-box” husband to get in his feels. Playing get-to-know-you trivia games is a super easy way to get your partner chatting. We have quite a few actual card games with questions to get conversation flowing, but you don’t need an actual set to get started! Consider writing down some questions and taking turns asking them to each other. Here are a few to get you started:

  • What is the first thing you noticed about me?
  • What is one of your favorite memories of me?
  • What is one thing I can do better in our relationship?
  • What is one goal you have for our family?
  • What celebrity couple would people compare us to?

For the Couple Who Needs a Spa Day

My husband unabashedly LOVES going to the spa. No joke, it is our thing on vacation to go and get a massage and a pedicure. He’s a pretty traditionally masculine dude, but this is one of his favorite activities. We’ve not yet tried a spa night at home, but I imagine he’d be a fan. Think . . . hair masks, pedicures, wax dips, maybe give each other massages. And don’t forget the spa music and robes!

For the Foodie Couple

One of my friends recently purchased a pasta maker and had an adorable date night at home making pasta together. I thought it looked so cute and immediately told my husband about it! If cooking isn’t really your thing (but food still is!), consider getting take out or delivery to your house and having a phones-off candlelight dinner. The food itself isn’t what’s important; it’s the special, intentional time spent together.

For the Gamer Couple

We aren’t huge gamers, but I know a lot of people who are! Whether you’re more team video game or more of a game traditionalist, a game night in is sure to get the laughter and competitive spirit flowing. Some of our favorites include Skyjo, Skip-Bo, and the ever-so-classic Scrabble. What you play doesn’t matter as much as how you play it: together!

For the Romantic Couple

Have you ever thought about recreating your favorite date . . . but doing it at home? For me, it’s hard to top our first date. My now-husband took me to a wine bar/restaurant, then a concert, and then ice cream. How sweet would it be to remake this one at home and to reminisce together on some fond memories?

I hope these ideas are a little something to spark some fun and creativity in your relationship! Enjoy your next date night at home and remember: it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you do it together.

Having a date night in is just one way to support your relationship as it grows and changes. Emily shares some more simple ways to maintain your relationship after having kids.

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Books for Helping Children Learn About Martin Luther King Jr.

books about martin luther king jr.

The legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. continues to thrive years after he changed the world forever. Today, we remember his powerful words and the impact his teachings had on so many of us.

While learning about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s life and legacy, it is important to share the knowledge with our children so they can appreciate him as a leader and a great activist for civil rights. Here are some wonderful books about Martin Luther King Jr. to read with your children or recommend to them as we celebrate his legacy.

books about martin luther king jr.

Books for Preschoolers

A Sweet Smell of Roses by Angela Johnson

I am Brave: A Little Book About Martin Luther King Jr. by Brad Meltzer

I am Martin Luther King, Jr. by Brad Meltzer

My First Biography: Martin Luther King, Jr. by Marion Dane Bauer

My Little Golden Book About Martin Luther King Jr. by Bonnie Bader

My Uncle Martin’s Big Heart by Angela Farris Watkins

The Story of Martin Luther King Jr. by Johnny Ray Moore

Who Was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.?: A Who Was? Board Book by Lisbeth Kaiser and Stanley Chow

Books for Elementary Schoolers

Ain’t Gonna Let Nobody Turn Me ‘Round: My Story of the Making of Dr. Martin Luther King  Day by Kathlyn J. Kirkwood

As Good as Anybody by Richard Michelson

A Place to Land: Martin Luther King Jr. and the Speech That Inspired a Nation by Barry Wittenstein

Be a King: Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s Dream and You by Carole Boston Weatherford

Happy Birthday, Martin Luther King by Jean Marzollo

I Am #4: Martin Luther King Jr. by Grace Norwich

I Have a Dream by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Let the Children March by Monica Clark-Robinson and Frank Morrison

Love Will See You Through: Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Six Guiding Beliefs (as told by his niece) by Angela Farris Watkins

Martin Rising: Requiem for a King by Andrea Davis and Brian Pinkney

Martin’s Big Words: The Life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. by Doreen Rappaport

Martin’s Dream by Jane Kurtz

Martin’s Dream (Ana + Andrew) by Christine Platt and Anuki Lopez

My Brother Martin by Christine King Farris

My Daddy, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. by Martin Luther, III King

My Dream of Martin Luther King  by Faith Ringgold

March On! The Day My Brother Martin Changed the World by Christine King Farris

Martin and Mahalia: His Words, Her Song by Andrea Davis Pinkney and Brian Pinkney 

National Geographic Readers: Martin Luther King, Jr. by Kitson Jazynka

The March on Washington (American Girl: Real Stories From My Time) by Bonnie Bader

The Story of Martin Luther King Jr. by Christine Platt

When Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Wore Roller Skates by Mark Andrew Weakland and Patrick Ballesteros

Books for Middle and High Schoolers 

A Time to Break Silence: The Essential Works of Martin Luther King, Jr., for Students by Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dear Martin by Nic Stone

Free At Last: The Story of Martin Luther King, Jr. by Angela Bull

Great Lives in Graphics: Martin Luther King by Button Books

Martin & Anne: The Kindred Spirits of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Anne Frank by Nancy Churnin

Martin Luther King Jr.: A Graphic History of America’s Great Civil Rights Leaders by Rachel Ruiz

Martin Rising: Requiem For a King by Andrea Davis Pinkney

Memphis, Martin, and the Mountaintop: The Sanitation Strike of 1968 by Alice Faye Duncan

Portraits of African-American Heroes by Tonya Bolden

Who Was Martin Luther King, Jr.? by Bonnie Bader

If you have a recommendation for books about Martin Luther King Jr., please leave a comment with it so we can add it to our list!

What You Should Know About Your Thyroid

DISCLAIMER: The following post outlines the writer’s personal journey with Graves disease + her thyroid. It is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about your thyroid and/or thyroid diseases.

When I was nearly ten weeks pregnant with my first child, my husband and I received an alarming call from an endocrinologist, a specialist doctor I had never met or thought I would need to meet. My OB/GYN had been very concerned with my routine prenatal blood work and had reached out for her expert opinion.

My thyroid levels were dangerously high. So high, in fact, that they were worried about me going into cardiac arrest and possibly losing the pregnancy. We drove over four hours from the vacation home we were staying at in upper Michigan to a Metro Detroit hospital emergency room, where I was immediately assessed.  

My pregnancy, and every day after that, would never be the same. I was diagnosed with Graves disease, a thyroid condition. It had gone undiagnosed during my first pregnancy and is believed to have caused my miscarriage. At that point, it was inflicting a host of symptoms my previous OB/GYN had initially dismissed. I was treated and, after giving birth, had my thyroid removed so that it wouldn’t go haywire during subsequent pregnancies. 

A woman with a thyroidectomy scar

Thyroid Awareness Month happens every January. But it often doesn’t get as much attention as other awareness months, and many continue to be unaware of the statistics. Women are at higher risk for thyroid issues than men, with one in eight women developing problems during their lifetime, according to the Office on Women’s Health. Still, testing isn’t always routine during pregnancy, postpartum, or beyond. 

What is your thyroid?

According to the Cleveland Clinic, the thyroid is a butterfly-shaped gland in the base of your neck that regulates a host of bodily functions–namely, metabolism and growth, through hormone secretion. On a smaller level, it helps control your heart rate, promotes digestion, and keeps your bones healthy and strong. To keep your body running smoothly, your thyroid hormone releases two important hormones–Triiodothyronine (T3) and Thyroxine (T4). How much of each hormone is released depends on the thyroid-stimulating hormone (TSH) secreted from the pituitary gland. You would be correct if you think it sounds like a delicate balancing act! 

Too much or too little thyroid hormones can significantly impact the body.

What thyroid conditions can affect women?

In general, most women are affected by hyperthyroidism or hypothyroidism. These are umbrella terms that can occur due to other thyroid-related conditions, like Graves disease or Hashimoto’s thyroiditis. 

Hyperthyroidism

Hyperthyroidism, according to the Mayo Clinic, is when too much thyroid hormone is secreted. Too much T4 and T3 and too little TSH usually indicate an overactive thyroid. These hormones can cause your body to burn through energy very quickly. As a result, you may experience:

  • Fatigue
  • Constant hunger
  • Anxiety 
  • Hand tremors
  • Hair loss
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Heat intolerance
  • Increased sweating
  • Restlessness 
  • Weight loss
  • Flushed skin or a rash
  • Irregular menstrual periods 
  • Goiter (a swollen thyroid gland that protrudes from the neck) 

If not treated, a thyroid crisis could occur, in which an abnormal heart rate could lead to heart failure. Prolonged hyperthyroidism can also lead to weak bones (osteoporosis). Graves disease, a hereditary autoimmune disease, is the most common cause. 

Hypothyroidism

Hypothyroidism, according to the Mayo Clinic, is the opposite, in which too little thyroid hormone is produced. An underactive thyroid means your body can’t receive the energy it needs, caused by your metabolism and digestive processes slowing down. 

Symptoms can include: 

  • Fatigue
  • Feeling cold all the time
  • Weight gain
  • Thinning hair
  • Dry skin
  • Joint and muscle pain
  • Depression
  • Slow heart rate
  • Difficulty conceiving 
  • Heavy and irregular menstrual periods 

If not treated, it can lead to dangerous conditions, such as heart disease or nerve damage. Hashimoto’s disease, an autoimmune condition, is the most common cause. 

Thyroid Conditions + Womanhood

Thyroid conditions aren’t always extreme, and their side effects can make them easily misdiagnosed. Symptoms like brain fog or irregular menstrual cycles could have various other causes, like menopause or the chaotic experience of postpartum. Therefore, blood tests of all three hormone levels (T3, T4, and TSH) can go a long way in finding out whether or not your thyroid is to blame. For women, getting your thyroid levels checked can be very important. 

Thyroid problems can affect menstruation, causing cycle irregularity and very heavy or light periods. If a woman is trying to conceive, thyroid conditions can make it extremely difficult. According to the National Library of Medicine, thyroid hormones may be a cause of anovulation (when ovulation doesn’t occur at all). Additionally, those with hypothyroidism may be more at risk of developing cysts on their ovaries, reports the National Institute on Health

When pregnancy occurs, the mother’s thyroid hormones support the baby for the first few months. If her body is producing too little or too much thyroid hormone, there can be negative effects for both the mom and her baby, such as miscarriage, preterm labor, or stillbirth. Even women who are post-childbearing age can feel the effects of an abnormally functioning thyroid. They might struggle to lose weight, experience hair loss, have trouble concentrating, or have difficulty sleeping–all symptoms that can be attributed to motherhood in general when you’re just trying to survive raising little ones while juggling everything else! 

As a woman ages, thyroid issues could trigger early-onset menopause. If hyperthyroidism is not addressed, it could exacerbate problems that affect older women, like osteoporosis. 

A woman getting her thyroid screened

Should you get your thyroid checked?

Typically, thyroid labs aren’t completed unless a woman has a family history of thyroid conditions or reports symptoms. Even in pregnancy, thyroid hormone levels may not be a part of prenatal screening. The March of Dimes states that most providers don’t check thyroid levels during prenatal or postnatal health visits unless there is an indication to do so; however, as many as 21 in 100 women can develop postpartum thyroiditis in which they become hypothyroid or hyperthyroid (or even both) in the first year after childbirth. 

Therefore, according to the American Thyroid Association, all adults beginning at age 35 and every five years thereafter should get their thyroid checked. You may not need to request blood labs immediately. However, medical professionals encourage women to monitor themselves for thyroid disorder symptoms. Being conscientious of thyroid symptoms becomes even more important for women who are pregnant or hoping to become pregnant.  

Fortunately, once a thyroid condition is diagnosed, it can often be easily treated. This includes during pregnancy. I was lucky to have an amazing endocrinologist and fetal-maternal medicine team who closely monitored me and my baby. Though I will have to take medication daily for the rest of my life, I credit my endo with preventing another miscarriage and helping me to go on to have three happy and healthy children without complications during or after pregnancy.

Taking care of yourself is of the utmost importance. Our team shares a bit about their own mental health journeys in order to inspire others to seek out the help they might need.

National Human Trafficking Prevention Month: Local Resources

Is human trafficking taking place in the zip code you currently live in? If you answered “I don’t think it is . . . ,” are you surprised to learn you’re incorrect? According to Hope Against Trafficking, every zip code in Michigan has reported instances of human trafficking. Every. Zip code.

Does that statistic shock you? The number of reported cases is only increasing. Human trafficking can include sex trafficking and labor trafficking. As a community, we absolutely must be aware, vigilant, and working towards changing this.

January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month. We wanted to bring awareness to the topic, and also offer local resources that are available in our communities. Whether you or someone you know is a victim of human trafficking, or you simply want to know where you can volunteer and support locally, we hope this list is helpful for you. And, if you know of any local resources we should add, be sure to let us know.

*The National Human Trafficking Hotline phone number is (888) 373-7888. It is available 24/7 in a wide variety of languages. If you or someone you know is in need of support, call the hotline or visit the National Human Trafficking Hotline’s website.

Local Resources for Human Trafficking Awareness Month

Avalon Healing Center | Detroit | (313) 964-9701

Located in Detroit, Avalon Healing Center is a nonprofit organization that provides trauma-informed care for those who are looking for support. The services they provide are confidential and free. Some of the areas in which they focus their support on include social justice, crisis intervention, acute and non-acute assault, and human trafficking, among others.

Their website contains a wealth of information and resources on a variety of subjects. If you’re interested in becoming involved, you can fill out an application to become a volunteer with their organization.

*If you need support: there is a phone number link at the bottom of their website. Their crisis number, available 24/7, is (313) 474-SAFE.

Hope Against Trafficking | Pontiac | (248) 499-8416

This organization works with survivors of human trafficking using a trauma-informed, victim-centered approach. Those they work with develop their own individual plan for how to move forward, and they also help them identify and create goals to work towards. Their residential program provides housing, rent-free, for two years. They also have community education resources.

There are numerous ways to become involved with the work that Hope Against Trafficking is doing. You can apply to be a volunteer or fundraise, just to name a couple of ideas.

*If you need support: fill out this contact form on their website.

Michigan Abolitionist Project | Utica

The Michigan Abolitionist Project is working to educate on human trafficking, engage the community in activities centered on the root causes, and eradicate human trafficking both locally and non-locally. They have local community groups but also work closely with local task forces and coalitions. And, they’re working really hard to bring awareness to this complex issue.

Their website also contains a lot of information about all the ways you can be involved–and all the facts on human trafficking. It’s extremely eye-opening. If you’re interested in becoming involved, you can check if there is an active community group in your area, or attend a virtual Volunteer Interest Meet-Up.

Pearls of Great Price Coalition | Plymouth

Pearls of Great Price is working to prevent human trafficking in all forms. They represent various churches in the area and host monthly meetings. Pears of Great Price works closely with area organizations as well, such as Sparrow Freedom Project and Sanctum House. If you’re interested in being involved with their work, you can volunteer with them, join their mailing list, or make a donation online.

Sanctum House | Novi | (248) 574-9373

Sanctum House is a safe home for women survivors of human trafficking ages 18 and older. It’s voluntary and a 24-month program. They offer trauma-informed support, mental and physical healthcare, therapy, job training, community action, and more.

There are many ways to become more involved with the important work that Sanctum House is doing. Their website lists volunteer opportunities, donation lists, and more.

*If you need support: fill out this contact form on their website.

Sparrow Freedom Project | New Hudson

Sparrow Freedom Project is building a community that is led by survivors of human trafficking. Together with allies, businesses, organizations, and neighbors, they hope to change what’s happening in our communities. Their support services include access to items like groceries, clothing, emergency shelter, transportation, and home furnishings, to name a few. Financial assistance can be applied for as well.

If you want to help Sparrow, you can do things like become an ally, fundraise, or volunteer. There are even more ideas for ways to support their work on their website.

*If you need support: fill out this contact form on their website.

The Joseph Project | Grosse Pointe Woods | (855) GEN-5020

Working with attorneys, The Joseph Project connects human trafficking survivors with the pro bono legal services they need. They hope to empower survivors and help them take control of their future.

For volunteer opportunities, you can fill out their volunteer contact form.

*If you need support: fill out this contact form on their website.

County-Level Resources

You can also search online for the website for the county you live in, and it should bring up local resources to assist and support you. We’ve linked a few of the major counties below.

Every. Zip code. Every zip code in Michigan has reported cases of human trafficking. We must come together as a community to help those who are impacted by this.

If you’re looking for more ways to support local organizations, check out our Local Giving Guide.

How to Ring in the New Year with Intention

Like many, I ring in the new year with a list of resolutions. Historically, each focused on “fixing” specific behaviors like working out more, saving money, stressing less . . . blah, blah, blah! All of this feels rigid, daunting, and even unattainable. And it reminds me of all the times I didn’t or couldn’t keep up with the resolution. Resolutions are a setup for failure. So, this year I will ring in the new year with intention.

In 2024, I will embark on a transformative journey, steering away from the fixation of “fixing” and instead focusing on setting a purposeful path that fosters growth and flexibility. I will set intentions over resolutions, and I welcome you to join me.

But before I set intentions, it’s important to reflect on where I have been and my core values. Last year, what went well? What was challenging? What truly matters to me? Aligning intentions with values adds depth and authenticity to the journey. It’s time to change our mindset and set ourselves up for success in 2024.

From Work Out Daily to Listen to Your Body

The old resolution: Exercise daily.
The new intention: Listen to your body and respond with kindness.

Coming from years working in corporate retail, I can tell you that companies are hyper-focused on selling workout apparel, gym memberships, and exercise equipment in January because the consumer’s mindset is all about changing their body. But what if instead of changing our body, we embrace it and listen to it?

In a society that often glorifies busy schedules and rigorous fitness routines, the intention of listening to your body is a revolutionary act of self-love. Rather than chaining yourself to a demanding daily exercise regimen that will be hard to maintain, pay attention to the cues your body provides.

Is it asking for rest? Is it craving movement? By fostering a deeper connection with your body, you empower yourself to make choices that align with your physical and mental well-being. Let your body guide you, whether it’s a Pilates session, a walk, a run, or a day of rest.

From Reducing Stress to Saying “No”

The old resolution: Reduce stress.
The new intention: Say “No” more often and prioritize yourself.

As a mom and entrepreneur, I find myself caught in the whirlwind of responsibilities; I’m sure you can relate. The resolution to reduce stress can feel like a good idea but can also feel like an unattainable dream. Instead, shift the focus to the intention of saying “no” to things that are not a priority. Stop the perpetual cycle of people-pleasing and start prioritizing your mental health. It’s an act of self-advocacy; a declaration that your well-being matters. Embrace the power of “no” to create space for what truly aligns with your values and brings you joy.

From Reading Daily to Lifelong Learning

The old resolution: Read more.
The new intention: Embrace lifelong learning.

I am a picture book author; my job is to read, and I LOVE it. I wish I had more time to do it. But, setting a resolution that tells me to read more will not change my time constraints. It will simply disappoint me when I don’t hit my reading goal.

Instead, let’s elevate it to a broader intention—embracing a lifelong reading and learning journey. This intention encourages a mindset shift from a specific, time-bound activity to a continuous journey of discovery. Explore audio books, podcasts (like The Unfiltered Mom or Mel Robbins), attend workshops, and engage in conversations that challenge your perspectives. The intention of lifelong learning expands beyond the confines of a resolution, fostering intellectual growth and adaptability.

From Saving to Purposeful Spending

The old resolution: Save more.
The new intention: Be intentional and purposeful with your spending.

Money management has always been at the top of my resolutions, but the systems I put in place never held. Instead of fixating on creating spreadsheets or downloading the latest app to help you manage your money, consider the idea of being intentional with your spending. Cultivate a mindful approach to your finances, aligning your spending with your values and priorities. This intention involves understanding the difference between needs and wants and making intentional choices that resonate with your financial goals. It’s a holistic approach that invites awareness into your relationship with money, transforming a resolution into a purposeful financial journey.

It’s a transformative shift from fixing behaviors to nurturing a mindset that allows exploration, self-compassion, and genuine fulfillment. Celebrate progress, not perfection. Intentions allow for flexibility and growth. Celebrate the progress you make every day, acknowledging that the journey is as significant as the destination.

As we stand on the cusp of a new year, let us embark on this journey together, celebrating the beauty of intentions that resonate with our hearts.

A new year doesn’t have to mean new stress. Charmaine shares why New Years goals may be stressful, and what to do instead.

The Weight of Food Allergies + How You Can Help

In the Dark by Karli McNeill

With rainbow lights rolling
And white noise humming
A request to snuggle will be made

Blankie wrapped loosely
And Ellie tucked closely
Together we sing, a sweet serenade

His skin tacky to the touch
Am I doing enough? Or too much?
I pray rashes from today will fade

Sleep well. Dream well.
Rest well. Please . . . be well.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.

Mother and small child snuggling in a rocking chair at night

The Weight of Food Allergies

I wrote this poem after a tough skin day with my son. We went through our bedtime routine, which involves layers of skin products. I was debating if I needed to give him a dose of Benadryl to help with him scratching at his legs. I’m always weary of over-medicating, but also don’t want him to be in any discomfort.

I hardly made it through singing our normal bedtime song You Are My Sunshine before the tears started flowing and the weight of the mental load of his allergies and skin issues became just a bit too heavy for me at that moment. Getting my feelings out through poetry helps me cope.

He is my youngest of two sons and will be three in June. He has seven food allergies, eczema, sensitive skin, and asthma. We have had countless doctor’s visits, ER visits, and pokes and prods. He has become a professional patient and honestly handles blood draws better than I do. He self-soothes with deep breathing when things get tough, and he knows what his EpiPen is for. 

This little boy also has the most infectious laugh. He will brighten up any room with his loud singing and phenomenal dance moves. He goes with the flow and is happy to chill as long as he has a good snack and someone to share it with. My son is so much more than his allergies. We try our hardest to build a life and systems that allow him to move through life with as few barriers as possible. 

Moving Through the World with Food Allergies

Taking a two-year-old into the world with multiple food allergies is scary. He can’t tell me when he feels a symptom coming on. We don’t let him eat certain things, and he doesn’t quite understand why. He can’t speak up for himself when an allergen is nearby. His big brother is quick to ask, “Will that hurt Mayer’s belly?” when a new food or treat comes along, but my span of control does not cover every situation he could encounter.

Food allergies can be life-threatening. According to Food Allergy Research and Education, there are 200,000 people in the United States each year who require emergency medical care for allergic reactions to food.

I notice every scratch, every new rash, every heavy eye blink, and every cough. I also notice every belly laugh, every new word and phrase, and every smile gifted to us. The constant body scan my mind runs on him collects every piece of information–the goodness of my son, and also the potential red flags of a life-threatening allergic reaction. 

As a family, we make hard decisions of what events to attend or what restaurants to eat at. Each decision, we evaluate if we have the mental resources at the time to ask enough questions to feel “safe enough” to go somewhere, or if our own tanks are so empty that it’s just safer to skip the evaluation and stay home. As he gets older (and outgrows more allergens–in 2021 we were working with ten food allergies) and we get more seasoned with this lifestyle, I hope things will be a little easier. For now I will always have two EpiPens, a day’s worth of snacks, and a Mayer-safe cupcake and pizza slice in tow for every birthday party we attend!

How You can Foster Allergy-Informed Visits

We are lucky enough that our close friends and family take a couple extra steps to think about our son when they are hosting us, whether for a birthday party or just a play date. Each allergy parent handles situations differently–the best way to be prepared is to offer information to the parent up front. Here are some examples of what friends and family have done to lighten my mental load when Mayer is invited:

  • Asked about allergies when the invite was extended. This lets me know that the parent is open to conversation and at least conscious of allergies, and lowers my anxiety levels when I go to ask them questions about the event. I try to do this when I plan events for work as well.
  • Informed me of the food, drinks, and treats that will be served ahead of time. This lightens my mental load of wondering what to pack for my son. I can prepare safe food that matches what you’re serving. Or if it’s safe food, then I can pack a little less stuff than normal. I don’t expect everything to be free of all his allergens. But simply knowing what will be there helps my risk evaluation. It’s a huge bonus if the original packaging is available for me to look at the ingredients label!
  • Made a goodie bag without food, or asked ahead of time what his favorite snacks and treats are. I know that sometimes the small trinkets can be annoying or seem like a waste, but both my kids love them and it’s great to not have to “take away” a gift because my son is allergic to it. If it is a treat-based goodie bag, it was so nice when my friends reached out to see what safe swaps they could make for him. 
  • Be open and pleasant during conversations. I hate feeling like a burden or an inconvenience, but I really do ask questions to ensure my son will be safe during our visit. Please don’t get defensive or offended with my questions–I’m not doing it to make you feel bad, I legit just have to weigh out the risks before we go anywhere!  

As an allergy parent it is my responsibility to seek out information and evaluate the safety of my son at any location and I do not expect accommodations everywhere, but these are simply small steps you can take to make it a little easier for your friends with allergy kiddos in tow. Even just knowing that my friends care about the safety of my son helps so much, and I hope these prompts can help you foster an inclusive environment for the allergy kids in your life too.

Looking for more resources on food allergies? Check out Julie’s list of allergy-friendly restaurants in + around Detroit!

8 Realistic Healthy Habits for the New Year

woman stretching before workout at home

Here it is . . . the new year! Every year it’s the same thing: eat healthy and exercise to maintain or get back into shape. But after two or three weeks into the new year, old habits start creeping back. And there she is: the same old . . . me! 

Well, if you want to change this for 2024, then tell yourself over and over and over again that YOU CAN DO THIS! And girrrrl . . . I know, It’s easier said than done. To do this, you need to really dig into your WHY (why do you want to change?), your WHO (who are you changing for?), and your WHAT (what are you doing about it?)!

I’m sharing eight realistic healthy habits you can incorporate into the new year to help you make those positive changes!

Find an exercise you’re passionate about.

This was a game changer for me in 2023. Find your passion–whether it’s dancing, swimming, walking, or boxing. I never knew that boxing was my thing until I tried it out. And I love it! Try something new or different, because you may just need to get out of your everyday, boring “workout rut-ine!”

Focus on nutrition.

As a family, it’s hard because what the kids eat isn’t always what you want to eat, and vice versa. However, for healthy habits focused on nutrition, DISCIPLINE is what makes you strong. Say what you’re eating out loud and see if it sounds appetizing or healthy to you! This is definitely my weakest change, because there’s always a birthday or occasion where I can make up excuses about why I need this cake, ice cream, or cookie!

Now that I am older, my body can’t handle all the things I used to eat, so that is the reason I keep telling myself over and over again. 

Get enough sleep.

The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute recommends getting seven to nine hours of sleep a night. Yikes, good luck! As mothers, we have too many interruptions that go bump, wahhh, or if you’re like me, an old dog that needs to go out at 3:00 a.m.! Uninterrupted sleep is truly a luxury in my mind. But, listen to your body, and if you’re tired . . . REST. You deserve it!

Go to the doctor.

If you’re like me, going to the doctor is always a joy because I love my doctor. But, just make sure you’re visiting your doctor like you do for your kids. Keeping you healthy first will keep your kids healthy, too!

Identify stress triggers. 

What triggers your stress level? Identify these factors and remind yourself to breathe and say out loud: “Everything will be okay!” Do something calming, or take your mind off what is stressful and think of your happy place. For me, it’s toes in the sand!

Plan to be around people.

What gives you energy? I love to meet and talk to different people! Making plenty of plans and creating more social activities–like joining a bowling league or planning monthly get-togethers with friends and family–will keep you happy and healthy! 

Remember the importance of hydration.

Water sounds so amaaaazing–especially when you think about how we are so lucky to have access to clean, pure drinking water. There is still an abundant number of people who don’t have easy access to safe water in our world. Think about this, and you will drink and feel thankful for something we take for granted every day. (Another way to remember to hydrate is to set an alarm!)

Try to limit screen time.

Yes, I know. How in the world can you limit screen time in a world like today? This is something I personally need to work on, only because my job relies on it. Again, setting an alarm is a great way to do this. Try to create more social activities as opposed to social media; this will help with reaching for the phone out of habit. 

I know these healthy habits are a lot to think about for 2024. But, repeating this over and over helps. And again, remember: WHY are you doing this? WHO are you doing this for? And WHAT are you doing about it?

When it comes to the new year, it’s okay if resolutions aren’t for you. Jennifer shares how to recognize all the ways you’re already amazing!

How To Survive the Two-Week Wait

If you are trying to conceive you may be familiar with the term “two-week wait.” And if you’ve been in the baby-making game long enough, you know it is a period that requires a lot of patience. In my current season of trying for a third child, surviving the two-week wait has been the most challenging time in motherhood for me.

These are some of the spaces I’ve put myself in to handle the two-week wait.

Do not symptom chase.

I become hyper-aware of the changes in my body during the two-week wait. Every twinge, feeling, and ache is over-examined because, of course, there must be a reason for it!

Symptom chasing is tricky because it often leads to google diagnosing. I always think that if I could just find someone else with the same set of symptoms, I could confirm my pregnancy prior to testing. This often leads to disappointment and confusion. Save yourself the time–focus less on the symptoms, and more on what’s happening in your life.

Stay off the forums and blogs.

Like symptom chasing, it’s easy to go down a rabbit hole of information and opinions. And seeking information in the two-week waiting process on forums and blogs could be overwhelming and misleading. Every woman’s body is different, and every pregnancy is different. It can be comforting to hear a familiar story, but be mindful of how far down the rabbit hole you go.

Keep busy.

Spend time working on something you want to get done before the results are in. Make a list of things to do prior to the start of the two-week wait, and focus on them to keep busy. Pick up an extra project at work, organize the kitchen, finish a photo album or scrapbook, or my favorite–clean out your closet. Completely immerse yourself in a task to get your mind off of the two-week wait.

Make time to worry . . . then move on.

Whether it’s journaling your feelings or crying in the mirror, make time to feel your emotions. Validate your positive AND negative feelings while surviving the two-week wait. If it is giving yourself 15 minutes a day to worry or a particular time in the day to vent, do it and move on. Harping on the unknown will work against maintaining a positive outlook.

Make happy movements.

Dance, sing, or go for a walk to clear your head. Keep moving your body through the emotions. This can include deep breathing exercises, screaming exercises, and mindful meditation. Push your body in happy movements to rid it of the tension and anxiety the two-week wait can create. My favorite happy movement is dancing with my kiddos to loud music until we can no longer hear our thoughts.

Talk to someone.

We all have friends who might suggest you should enjoy the process of baby-making, but when it comes down to surviving the two-week wait, the fun between the sheets is the last thing on your mind. Decide who to share this time with, and talk to them.

My best confidant for big emotional journeys is definitely my husband. Though his responses are typically short and spiritual, the time he allows me to speak makes a big difference in how I process the wait.

Don’t compare.

Try not to compare this journey to the journey of others, or even to your past pregnancies. I have had a hard time questioning the process of trying for our third child. My two previous pregnancies came easily. I often find myself falling into negative thoughts about my body that are hard to shed. When I focus on this new process as its own, negative thoughts do not have a lasting effect.

Let go of control.

Relax. Live life now. You are growing from this experience. Continue managing your stress, worry, and anxiety through letting go. Let go of what you cannot control and control how you can enjoy this space in relaxation. If you are in the two-week wait practice patience on yourself first, not the process of conception.

The emotional stress of the two-week wait can be hard to bear. Will this be the month, will we have to try again? Whatever the outcome, do not go down a road of dishonoring your journey. Place yourself in a space of hopeful thoughts, happy movements, and positive support. Getting through the two-week wait isn’t easy if we choose to focus on it.

Everyone has advice–but it’s not always helpful. Sofia shares the advice we need to stop giving new moms.

Simple Tips For Movement After 40

woman stretching on mat in front of couch

DISCLAIMER: The following post outlines the writer’s personal tips for incorporating movement into a lifestyle. It is not intended to act as medical advice. As always, please consult your doctor with any questions about movement and lifestyle.

I’m not someone who likes exercise. I have a gigantic sweet tooth and I am in no way qualified to educate anyone on health and nutrition. BUT, I thought that because of those disqualifiers of all things health and nutrition, I might be able to help those of us who are just like me (annnd I have a feeling there are a lot of you out there who are!).

woman stretching on mat in front of couchHere are some tips for focusing on movement after 40!

Exercise

Let’s begin with exercise. I’ve tried it all–from step aerobics to Tae Bo (remember when we were all doing Martial Arts in our living rooms in the 90s?) to workout rooms in college apartments to pre-made workouts from my personal trainer sister (yes, I have a personal trainer in the family and I DON’T USE HER!) to now, which is finding my own way. Because isn’t that what it’s all about, paving your own path? More importantly, finding what is sustainable for you–the key to success! 

Movement

I’m a dancer. Throughout my life, that has always been my base. But now that I am 42, my base has changed. The word base is what I like to call my constant movement. And while I’m giving you a vocabulary lesson, I don’t say “exercise” anymore. I use the word movement. Maybe it’s because I associate the word “exercise” with a chore. I know I’m not the only one out there that feels this way. A chore. A check off my “to-do” list. The sick in the stomach feeling knowing you have to exercise after working all day.

The word movement gives me the flexibility to use anything that increases my step count, which could be different every day. Maybe it’s a mindset thing, but whatever works! Okay back to my base: simply put, I walk 10,000 steps every day. No matter the day, I push myself to get that 10k!

I use a Fitbit Inspire to log my steps. As a teacher, I naturally get in a lot of steps, but there are days that my step count might be low. On days like this, I’ll walk around the school during my lunch or print to the copier in the teacher’s lounge that is on the opposite end of the school from my classroom. Or, I take a walk with my family after dinner. If all else fails, you can find me running in place right before I jump into bed that night.  

Spicing It Up

While walking to 10k is my base, I like to supplement with other activities that help with my step count but also fill another gap–being good at one sport. If you know me, I was not an athlete growing up. Sure, I dabbled in a lot of things, but no sport stuck for me. I very much regret this and because I’m not seen as an athlete, I’m driven to be one.

Over the last few summers, I have taken tennis lessons and now will continue to take lessons through the winter as well. Tennis for me is helping with my movement and athletic dream!  

Nutrition

About five years ago, I noticed that my body was changing–as women’s bodies do as we get older. After talking with my primary care physician she suggested that I change my eating habits so that I lower my carbohydrate and sugar intake. She was sure this would aid in all things evolving and she was right!

It took some getting used to; after all, I am Italian, so decreasing my bread and pasta intake seemed impossible at first. However, I stuck with it, finding new food items that fit the bill of “low carb” and tasty. One snack that I could live off of is Blue Diamond Toasted Coconut Almonds.

There was one problem . . . I still had a sweet tooth. More importantly though, as a wife, mother, and teacher, I felt that I deserved that splurge day every once in a while. So I was careful with it. I allowed myself a splurge NIGHT once a week. During the day I would maintain my current new lifestyle of low carb/low sugar, but then at night I would eat special treats (and watch trash television!).

Living the low carb/low sugar lifestyle dulled my sweet tooth so I was able to wait until my one night, and just knowing I had a splurge night coming up was enough to stave off cravings that would end with me rummaging through the pantry every other night. 

I want to end by reiterating that I’m not a doctor. I’m just a 40-something wife, mom, and teacher who needed to make a change. The combination of movement and eating low carb/low sugar plus splurging once a week helped me lose 15 pounds, have more energy, and gain more will power in all areas of my life.

It might not be ground-breaking or even good, but this works for me and has for over five years, which is what matters most. So I encourage you to find your base and spice it up with some fun movement on the side and watch your carb and sugar intake–but be sure to splurge every once in a while!

It’s so important that as moms, we make time to take care of ourselves, too. Natasha shares an inspiring guide to prioritizing yourself again!

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